Hey ladies, just need to vent for a second, and sorry in advance for an absolute essay - just need to get some conflicted emotions off my chest.
We went to triage over the weekend as I didn’t think baby had been moving as much. His CGT was “textbook” - obviously he started partying as soon as we got there - but because of his kidney, they said they wanted to do a growth scan and I’d need daily monitoring until that was possible. So we went back in yesterday, another textbook CGT (and his movements are back to normal, he’s bopping away in there right now).
This afternoon we go for the growth scan - our first at this hospital, the rest of our scans have been done at UCLH by a consultant. We get in to the room and the sonographer asks why we’re there, admitting they’ve got a new system and she hasn’t looked at my notes. She then scans in quite a chaotic way - forgets what she has / hasn’t measured a few times, and she and the midwife recording the figures miscommunicate on a couple of things (I’m pretty certain one figure was noted down wrong, from what the sonographer called out, and then what was confirmed). When measuring the blood flow from the umbilical cord, she is concerned about the first reading, which is high - but admits she may have measured it in the wrong place. She then does two more readings, which are normal. She can’t measure his head circumference because he’s too low, but thinks blood flow to his brain might be slightly on the low side.
The outcome of this is we now need to go back in later this week for another scan, and then have a fetal medicine appointment next week, as they’re concerned these results may suggest my placenta/blood flow isn’t working properly. I’m upset because a) I googled what can happen as a result of blood not flowing through the umbilical cord properly and the outcomes are Not Good and b) I’m frustrated that in spite of perfect CGTs we had to have this scan, which I’m pretty certain wasn’t done accurately, and now we’re down a pathway which sounds like it will lead to induction or c-section.
I’m so conflicted as obviously, baby’s health is most important, but this pregnancy has been such a rough ride in terms of things going wrong, and I was finally starting to feel excited about the home birth we’d been told we could have - and having part of this a little more in my control. That possibility seems to be out of the window now, I’m worried that my body is failing baby somehow, and sad that my vision of the last few weeks of this pregnancy appears to be out of the window.
Sorry for the mammoth message and I don’t really know what I’m looking for in a response!