Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

It's awful, but it can get so much better with physio. If you haven't been referred, please ask for pelvic floor physiotherapist referral from your GP or see one privately if you can afford it. It's such bad luck, I'm sorry that this has happened to you.

Is shocking that we're not warmed about it because over 50% of women who've given birth vaginally have one, most just don't have any symptoms. It often only becomes symptomatic after menopause. I now see it as a blessing that I was symptomatic, because at least I know and can manage my pelvic health accordingly. I'd rather know now and manage it, than have things get progressively worse asymptomatically and get the fright of my life aged 50.

Me too *JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn *

Breach baby. Planned C-section which was calm and fairly pain free. But couldn't breast feed. Breasts did not become engorged. I pumped for a week in hospital, and at home. At one point in hospital the midwives took the pump off me and told me to sleep! Felt like a failure.

Yep. I got the fright of my life when I started leaking while I was running two years ago. Went to pelvic physio who told me I had rectocele and cystocele and I've since also found out that my uterus is prolapsed. Devastating. Women should be warned.

The after pains while breastfeeding (don't remember it much with my first, but my second, christ!!)
The hair loss! 5 months PP with my second and it's still coming out in clumps every single day!
Lochia! Awful!
The tiredness, my life, honestly, I can see why it's used as torture!
The blues around day 5 for me second time around, I genuinely thought there is no way on Earth I can do this with 2 of them!
The fact you just go through something traumatic and are sent on your way a couple hours later to crack on!

Having so many different people insert their fingers into you… at one point I had five different people standing around me debating how dilated I was. Ironically really as I wanted to be checked 45mins previously before making a decision on pain relief and I was told ‘no’ due to the chance of infection with every examination.

Earlier on on the day I asked a midwife what her name was and she said it didn’t matter (as she did the examination). I had 14 different people give me examinations for that delivery.

Really felt like a piece of meat.

💐💐
The ‘failure’ feeling is awful.

I was sort of publically shamed by a collleague after my 3 c-sections. The first was an emergency as we were both dying.
I was so bewildered and angry, because my ex had already spent years telling me how the C-sections were my fault.

You have done well!! You and your child are both alive.

This!! My baby won’t latch on so said id express yet midwife is insistant on pushing her face onto my boob and letting get scream and get herself worked up for 20 mins 🥺

Can we just take a moment to honestly congratulate ourselves for growing a human, birthing them and then raising them. Women are amazing and the stuff we have to go through to get where we are now is unreal. Well Done Mummas

I had no idea prolapse was a thing until I read this thread. I've had 2 DC and I don't recall it being mentioned ever, I'm horrified especially if its not uncommon. Agree with many PP experiences here!

The way UK/NHS measures growth seems illogical. I.e. measurements vs gestation.

Particularly what we consider "overdue" compared to other nations.

Emergency C sections would be reduced drastically if we stopped forcing inductions with synthetic hormones.

TW!

Until it happened I had no realisation that you could have a non eventful full term pregnancy and yet not get to bring baby home. 😪That Stillbirth is a very real fact of life even now

@AimeeLou84 I followed all the advice and spent a fortune on support and my baby still fell off the weight chart.

Then I had the stupid idea to come and look at the breastfeeding threads on here for help and instead felt so shamed by my failure and "not trying hard enough" that I ended up on Zoloft 🙃

Is this currently happening? I had this problem with my first and it was that her latch was a bit rubbish and my breasts were very engorged so she kind of slipped off. Nipple shields had her latching perfectly.

Another one I remembered! Breast feeding making me nauseous. Didn't happen with my first but with my second I'd get a wave of nausea with the letdown reflex.

Yeah l got this. When my milk came in first l felt so nauseated and achy, like l had the flu. No one l know seemed to get this apart from me.

@Bulkypeepants all of this! I vomited when i was given DHC non stop for 6 hours and did tear my internal stitches. Hospital told me to stop being silly and you can't tear them until they realised i was bleeding internally somewhere. Took months to recover. I had paracetamol and naproxen with my second c and refused everything else.

First poo post baby and the fact that you still have lochia after a c section!

I'm so very sorry for your loss xxx

Anxiety about if baby is ok if they're breathing,
Crying after you've done everything and the biggest shock to me was I have birth and within an hour and half I was put on the ward my dh had gone home and I was left with this tiny human and left to it, I think I was expecting midwife's to be there to ensure I knew how to change a nappy/feed but no I think that was my biggest shock even all through the night and discharge no one checked I was capable of looking after her I'm not sure why I thought there would be some sort of lesson or test before I left the hospital

I didn't know my tummy would look like a deflated balloon after the birth.

This happened to me. She just...refused (after an NICU stay where she was bottle fed as I was also unwell). I really had MH issues because of it. The best advice I was given was by my GP- 'it's not a religion, and, even if it was, you're free to pick and choose the one that is right for you'.

It's a huge thing at the time, but you know what? Nearly 5 years on, I can't tell who was fed how (nor do I care). DD is super strong and tall, smart as hell, and we have a great bond.

Swollen feet after giving birth (like elephant feet!)

The fear of the first poo! And then doing it!!!

Dislocating my coccyx due to the size of my baby's head and no one (including the doctor who performed the episiotomy and vontuse delivery) realising I had done it only to be sent home not being able to sit for 5 months!

I am trying to be sympathetic but really ? You didn't realise major surgery would hurt afterwards ?

For me, following a C section, I had the most God awful pain in my shoulder. I asked the nurse for pain killers and she said it was possibly from being moved after the epidural. My obstetrician explained the next day that it’s trapped gas 🤷🏼‍♀️ apparently it’s very common.

How much bf hurts!! Bleeding nipples, that feeling when the milk comes in. I’m amazed I didn’t quit.

The profound emotions. I couldn’t look at my DDs without crying. It was as if my body wasn’t large enough to contain the love and it had to come out 😂

The burning wee and needing a jug of cold water to pour over yourself while you wee to try and remove the stinging - couldn’t believe no one had mentioned a cold water wee jug as a necessity (at my then home I had inherited a tiny retractable hand shower plumbed next to the toilet from the Iranian previous owner and I just tried to not wee anywhere else until healed - genius idea for cleanliness with no bidet space )

That I wouldn’t actually get the option of morphine or an epidural because the anaesthetists were busy. And gas and air did nothing.

Also the intense pressure of a back to back baby (not known until he was out) meaning I was unable to move from being laid on my back, despite the midwives trying to manoeuvre me.

I thought I’d prepared as much as possible for all eventualities but no, still plenty of surprises!

How painful breastfeeding would be. You always hear how natural it is and therefore you assume that potentially it’s easy but noooo. It’s bloody agonising and then on top you get mastitis.