Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

The risk of prolapse, it wasn't even on my radar and then bam! I felt it within days of a difficult vaginal birth. It's so common yet nobody talks about it. And even worse, the vast majority of women pregnant for the first time aren't even informed of the risk.

You still bleed vaginally after a C-Section! I had no idea!

Like a lot of others have said the afterpains! I don’t remember it after my first but it I got them bad when breastfeeding my second, it’s not something I feel like is spoken about often enough.

Another which I guess is more personal to me is I always thought as it’s usually how it’s shown on tv you’d get to 10cms then someone tells you it’s time to start pushing. Where as for me I got to around 5cm for both my babies then my body made me push. Really shocked me for my first and made me panic a little!

Not realising that an epidural actually does nothing to numb the pain down below.
I'm almost 2 weeks post birth and I didn't expect everytime I cough or sneeze ect it would still feel painful like the baby is bearing down. I commend the strength of any woman who can birth multiple babies. You are so strong.

@Clma a prolapse never occurred to me either. I've a suspected prolapse and it's unbearable pain .it's so uncomfortable that fullness feeling.

That sometimes no matter what interventions they do, your body will simply refuse point blank to give birth. And how after the emergency c-section, it'll refuse to provide a single drop of milk. And just to spite you... 16 years later, you STILL haven't lost the baby weight!

I was too tired to fully appreciate the moment. By the time I had my EMCS, I’d missed nearly two whole nights of sleep and kept falling asleep in the operating theatre.

The stinging sensation as the baby is born,readlotsof books but it was not mentioned

The pain of trapped gas in your stomach after a c-section.

My milk was slow to come in after my C-section and couldn’t keep pace with my baby’s demands, even though the hospital
had me feeding, expressing (and sterilising) every three hours, day and night. I was so tired that I occasionally knocked over the milk I’d just spent 20 minutes expressing.

I never had the sensation of my breasts being full and swollen (although I did get mastitis once) and I never leaked milk. My breast size didn’t change at all - my pre-pregnancy bras still fitted me. Weird.

The tearing when pushing out the head. The injection to numb the area do stitches can be done. The midwife checking the stitches every few days till healed.
the swollen milk filled breasts that explode with milk every now and then.
the not being able to walk after birth because your pelvis is pushed out of line.
the blood bath after birth.
the post natal depression.
the tears because you think you’re a bad mom.

@Cattenberg you did better than me! I felt totally cheated... couldn't give birth and couldn't feed my baby! My boobs never became 'engourged' either. Hey ho. We survived. Just wish someone had told me that sometimes bodies don't work. I'd have found it easier to accept. It took me a long time to get over my 'failure'.

How wobbly and alien your belly feels after birth i remember with my first dc it felt like i was touching someone elses body- and I agree with the poster above I had blues (maybe day 3 hormone crash?) About no longer having my "bump" and coming to terms with a new normal. Really missed feeling my baby wiggle inside me.

I'm so glad that you mentioned this BigTipTop

It sounds really strange but I didn't have that first rush of love for my baby immediately after birth - that took a while - but I enjoyed being pregnant and really mourned my bump after it was gone. But I thought this was wrong at the time because I had never heard it mentioned before!

I had read about "lochia" and how it was like a "heavy period".
Is it hell, it's WAY worse than any period I've ever had, I stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom for the first time and it was like a murder scene. I honestly thought I was haemorrhaging and was going to die. The student nurse also panicked and ran for help but the next nurse that came rushing in said it was "normal".
So that amount of blood loss is normal and we are just supposed to "get on with it". It's mad really.

The uncontrollable shivering and shaking while giving birth.

The colour of the bath water when I had a bath at home - it was the colour of sweet and sour sauce 🤮

The fact that they give you the biggest challenge of your life when you are physically and mentally fucked.

I forgot about after pains until reading the comments! I have a vague memory of them but I think I've blocked them out 😂

I had no idea how boring and frustrating a lot of the labour would be! It went on for sooooo long and after a few hours I was so annoyed as I was sick of being in pain and just wanted to meet the baby. I never imagined I'd get bored but it was mind numbingly boring in parts.

Back to back labour and how excruciating and traumatic it is. No breaks between contractions so constant pain with no respite at all and the longest pushing stage with little progress. Absolutely brutal. I genuinely had no idea how much harder it would be than my previous non B2B labour.

Congratulations! Try the “rugby hold” position for breast feeding post section assisted by a feeding pillow. Was a game changer when I was recovering from C-section and breastfeeding!

Lochia!!!

I genuinely had no idea you bled (anything other than from tears etc) after giving birth. When I got wheeled round to post natal the midwife said to me ‘we’ll need to change your pad soon’ and I said oh it’s okay I had a c section so I won’t need one!!

She must have thought I was completely clueless. Which I was.

Oh and btw, my mums a midwife!

SAME. I thought you just...put the baby on your nipple at that was it.

Also that sometimes none of the advice will work and a lot of it is actually quite shit and unhelpful.

Afterpains, especially when breastfeeding.
Hospital leaving light on all night so hard to sleep.

1. that my ‘high pain tolerance’ does not cover contractions - god they’re painful!!
2. that an epidural is a wonderful wonderful thing
3. breast is not better than no milk at all! And to have a stockpile of formula & bottles at home in case of milk supply issues early on (we ended up back in hospital due to jaundice for a week of phototherapy & on an intensive feeding programme)
4. how cuteeeee I’d find my own baby!! Never had much time for other people’s babies…

I feel lucky that I never had afterpains!

I was surprised how much pain I had even with an epidural and also how sick it made me feel. It took ages to work with DD and then it stopped working on one side. With DS it worked quickly and then stopped working. Also with DD my placenta was retained and removing it was so incredibly painful even with the epidural, that was confusing.

You've reminded me of another... The after birth high. Everything is a daze , you can't sleep because you are wired. I was pacing around the room and didn't know what to do with myself.

I didn't find the pee too bad. I did wait as long as I could though (added for the expectant mothers reading in horror).

DH was surprised at how hard it was to cut the cord. He expected a quick snip but it was more like cutting meat with scissors that aren't sharp.

I was going to say this! I had an emergency CS so after the birth I had to tell the midwife when I was going for a number 2. It was horrific. And then she had to inspect it. I felt ashamed. But she was non-pluses!