Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

Vomit. I wasn't expecting to throw up once I was fully dilated.
That I wouldn't give a shit about my dignity and wouldn't have been bothered if a marching band had walked through the room.
That a whole baby (first was over 8lb, second was nearly 10lb) would actually come out of me! I mean, of course I knew, but the realisation as I started to push was startling!
After pains - especially after my second.
The hormonal ups and downs afterwards.
That it would be the most painful but best thing I've ever done

With my first:
I never knew the pain of contractions were worse than pushing?!
How swollen I'd be down there after being in about so long
How noone was going to check I was qualified to look after a baby as I was leaving the hospital (wtf, maybe an online assessment or something at least)
How hard it was to breastfeed!

With my second:
I never knew a baby could come so quickly (thought it was just in the movies)
For baby to have arrived so quickly with no pain relief and no tears/grazes down there at all
Finally understood why some women had 8 or 9 children as it literally felt like a harcore gym session and was over.
God awful AFTERPAINS!!!! I went to hospital saying this can't be right at all I must be dying.....

This is exactly what I was about to post! I HAD NO IDEA!!

With my first, the pain of delivering the placenta was worse than giving birth to the baby! Then with my second, the midwife asked my consent for an injection to deliver and it literally fell out instantly! I didn't have time to think or panic... wish they'd done it that way first time!

My one delivery of DS - after birth pains, I fed my DS for 5 months but how it was painful. The birth was so quick I pushed a disk out in my back, for the first week post partum, I was bent double. The good things - his tiny face inspired joy, cuddling him all day, breast feeding, and chatting with a friend.

But this is not how you normally feel after a C-section. I could carry and feed my baby, and go for small walks .

I didn't realise I wouldn't poo for several days after.

I also didn't realise I'd feel like such a serious badass for giving birth. I felt like a superhero after it and was on a high for days that I did that. All I heard was how shit I would feel!

That the doctor would manually turn my back to back baby , the worst pain. And I had never heard of a button hole tear. If it’s not caught you can end up pooing out your vagina. Luckily mine was and I had immediate surgery

Vaginal varicose veins during pregnancy!! Having a full body sweat dump within a day of giving birth, and doing the longest poos I'd ever done for weeks afterwards! 😂 tmi?

That pethidine has no effect for backache labour. That not all doctors wait until the epidural top up has worked before dragging the baby out.....I thought my insides had been torn out. The worse pain of my life.

Your whole body is a wreck and you are sent home with a tiny baby and expected to get on with it! I never fully realised just how traumatic the birth would be on my body. The amount of women who go on to have prolapses or pelvic issues in general is nothing short of a disgrace. Absolutely no after care at all.

I didn't get after pains with my second, wondering if it was because there was a 7 year age gap 🤔?

How hard the first night would be on the ward with the baby and without DH, with my second I went straight home and was so relieved.

Just how hungry I would be in those first few weeks of breastfeeding

Have you had your iron levels checked? My PPA and insomnia disappeared very quickly once I had a blood transfusion. I left hospital on the morning of the 3rd day and no one suggested I wait a few more hours to have my iron levels checked. I felt I was going mad the first week then everything got much better immediately after 2 units of blood.

Didn’t realise that you had to actually deliver the placenta separately- thought it all just came out at once!
The after pains with my third were absolutely cripplingly painful.
Had no idea how painful breastfeeding would be at first and didn’t know how the fuck you could still feed from cracked bleeding nipples.
Didn’t have a clue how constipated I would become and how important it is to try and deal with it swiftly, I didn’t do a poo for almost a month after dc1 was born 😱 I just presumed gravity would eventually take its course after a few days and when it didn’t it obviously just made it worse 😂 Jesus that first 💩 was something else…

@BumpyaDaisyevna

*I just remember being very surprised that all this could possibly be expected. Ie carry a baby, give birth, then feed it and have no sleep for months.

I remember thinking gosh this is hard. Surely someone has got something wrong here this can't really be expected!

🤣🤣 quickly realised no cavalry coming over the hill ⛰️🐎 and that the only thing to do was to try and make the best of it.

I was a child before and after I was an adult.*

This nails it for me. When a baby is born a mother is born.

Also - how bloody BIG the placenta is. It’s a serious piece of kit!

Someone coming in 20 minutes afterwards to do a survey on geriatric Mums! Strewth, how was this even allowed? You've just given birth aged 38, knackered, in pain, have been stitched up and some clipboard is shoved in your face!

Having my 2nd degree tear stitched with only gas and air because apparently I didn’t need anaesthetic down there as it was already numb.
(the Fu@k it was, I nearly kicked the miserable surgeon in the face while I felt every.single.stitch. Resulted in a crappy repair which opened up again with my second DC. Luckily that time I had an amazing midwife, plenty of numbing and a much better experience.)

Also the hyper awareness that a PP mentioned - It never left me, I can still hear the kids fart in my sleep and they are 18 and 16 🤣

Oh, also I spent a good long while after my first just staring at him and wondering how on earth he fitted in my belly and how amazing I was for birthing him!

Yes! Peeing in the bath and tee tree oil in the bath! The smell still gives me flashbacks!

Oh lord I remember it well. When I had my son, you could smoke in hospital. After I’d been, the nurse took one look at me sent me to the smoking room and bought me a coffee. 😂😂😂

Or in my case, after a very fast labour with DC2, a parade of increasingly senior people asking if I minded if they put their finger up my bum. I told them I didn't care if the plumber wanted to.

That labour can take a very long time! For some reason I thought it would all be over in 12 hours at the most.

How many women will take the opportunity to talk about their child's birth at another child's birthday.

Graphic details, often triggering many others around them and little children trying to play in the ball pool.

Also, every intervention leads to another. The amount of 'failed' inductions etc just makes me wonder if we really need to review the cascade of interventions.

And how many women are looking at how to have an orgasmic birth with their next one.

Everyone talks about the head crowning.

It's not the head that you need to worry about it's the bloody shoulders.

When I look at my strapping adult son with his enormous head and wildly broad shoulders I get fanny daggers like some kind of deep remembered trauma to my poor old vajayjay.

Then there is going to the toilet a few weeks after the birth and popping out something akin a bollock, only to be told brightly at A&E that it's "just a prolapse" and the waiting list for a repair is six months....

No-one warns you how undignified it is! I was induced about 7pm of an evening... it then felt like everyone in the hospital had a good old nosey down there until I gave birth 23 hours later!