Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

That sometimes things go wrong and you don’t get to leave straight away with your baby, and that neo natal units are extremely lonely places

I did not know I was going to bleed for weeks after!
that you can feel a pop when your waters break.
how hungry breastfeeding would make me.
how intense the baby blues would be.
second night syndrome

I’ve had five and managed to be nastily surprised by the after pains each and every time. When I had my eldest two I was given all sorts even though I was breastfeeding - codeine, diclifenac etc and was encouraged to take them in schedule rather than waiting to see if the pain kicked in. For 3, 4 and 5 I was given two paracetamol and had to ask for them.

I thought I’d learn everything but this time around taught me that tearing doesn’t have to be down to the perineum and that to can in fact tear upwards into your clitoris and urethra. THAT was an unpleasant surprise!

That first poo (after giving birth, not meconium)......... no explanation needed 😫

Having stitches then being terrified of going to the toilet for the first time .
Being dead tired and looking at your partner and HATING them.
The guilt that you get cross with your screaming baby, and fear that you’ll accidentally get something wrong or miss something and they’ll die !

The after pains with your second and subsequent babies are a killer

Oh my god! I had 3 children, and no after pains at all that I can remember. Only now (youngest is 9 years old!) do I understand why the nurses were going round the wards offering pain relief - I honestly couldn't understand it!

That when you need to push, it actually feels like you need to take a massive dump.
I was so sure I needed to poo, I insisted to the midwife that I go to the toilet. Turns out, nothing was coming back, so I had to waddle back to the bed to push the baby out.

The sweating! It was unbelievable how much poured off me in the days after.

How much my coxyccs would hurt after being let down by the midwifes and forced to birth on my back. Took weeks to sit down normally and still not convinced it's 100% years later.

The haemorrhoids.

Having to learn to pee on my own again after the catheter was removed. That was weird.

This! I had such a bad experience first time round that when it came to DC2 I made sure I was given plenty of lactulose before I had even left the hospital. Should just be standard procedure!!

How much labour smells!!! I was induced and was regularly having the bed pad changed from leaking and it just smelled so bad!!!

I didn’t realise I wouldn’t be allowed to eat.

I also had to be cut as the used forceps and I didn’t realise it would be such a big cut and where it would be.

It doesn't have to hurt. I had an elective caesarean abroad and didn't have much pain or bleeding afterwards.

Didn't expect my amniotic fluid to be hot...

Yes still happening. I’ve just ordered some nipple shields! The midwife said my nipples are too flat. I mean she could have made it sound a bit nicer and that it’s not my fault but oh well. Hopefully the shields work!

I found the pain of labour intolerable. I remember screaming in the hopsital car park as they wouldn't admit me as I was only 3 cms dilated. Eventually they said I could come in if I accepted an induction, which they could offer as my waters had broken.
I then went on to have an epidural as was terified the intense pain would exhaust me and send me into relapse with my ME. Years later I have massive prolapse problems with bowel and bladder issues which are almost certainly to do with the epidural and pushing too long. I think I'd have tried harder to cope on gas and air if I'd known.
I lost a lot of blood and fainted soon after the birth - everything went black and I thought I was dying. I just remember calmly thinking 'Oh, so this is the end'. I was so exhausted from a long labour I don't think I was connected emotionally to reality although I'd felt a surge of wonderment and love looking at my son just before this.
I came round almost instantly they laid me flat again but had to have a blood transfusion a week later. I had terrible PPA and insomnia that first week that resolved with the transfusion, thank goodness.
I was also blessed with an easy baby who breast fed like a dream and until this thread that's mostly the bit I had remembered!

I didn't have afterpains with either! Sounds horrendous and I'm sorry for what PPs went through. I didn't know how sensitive I am to hormones, induction absolutely didn't work for me. I didn't know my husband had to go home at 10pm. I didn't know how hot it can be in the ward. I found a fan somewhere and bestowed it with the greatest honour to the next lady
Also didn't know that you're not allowed to wheel your baby around in his basinet even though it has nifty wheels! The midwife called security on us when we went for a walk with baby. Now I know.

HAHAHAHA so gas

That I’d be sent home the day after a c-section. The walk to the carpark took an hour.

2.5 year age gap and I didn’t get any after pains with my second either. I even wondered at the time whether it’s that it gets easier with subsequent pregnancies rather than worse!

I was a child before and after I was an adult

This. I was 33 when I had my first, and it was the very first time that I felt like an adult.

OMG, you poor thing, how on earth did you even remain upright for an hour? That is horrendous. Could you not have been pushed in a wheelchair at least?

I couldn't even get to the loo on my own on day one.

Mine are a bit flat too! I hope the nipple shields work as well for you as they did for me. We used them for 5 months and then one day DD just pulled them off and latched as if she'd never done any different. Even though up until that point whenever I'd tried to feed her without them she'd looked at me like "wtf is this".

Good luck! I remember the stressof not being able to feed DD and it's a horrible place to be x

It’s very standard to be sent home the day after a c section if all is well. But that is a good point about a wheelchair - why on earth is one not offered!

Not in France it isn't. I left in the afternoon of day 4.