Positive Birth Stories please

[PumpkinSpice24]

Hi all,

I have recently found out I am pregnant, currently 10 weeks after TTC for a year so very happy/excited however I have a long standing fear of childbirth/natural delivery - not sure if this is normal or not so no judgement please. Not keen on having a c section (unless in a emergency of course) as I have seen the recovery on friends can be very difficult.

I am trying to read lots of books and info so I am well informed on my pregnancy journey as this is my first baby but one thing I keep hearing is 'bad' or negative birth stories which isn't really helping my anxieties around childbirth. I know that the good stories are never really spoken about and for some reason people only tell you about the negatives!

Any positive birth stories? I feel like I have only heard 1 out of about 20!

Apologies if this doesn't make sense, this is my first thread on MN.

TYIA ❤

Really recommend reading the positive birth book and following their social media.

My childbirth wasn't easy, however your experience might be very different. The best thing to do is to eat healthily and keep active, go swimming and do your pelvic floors etc. That way, whatever happens you'll know that you have done what you can to prepare for the event.

Thank you - I've got a couple of pregnancy books from the library so I take a look at this one!

Thank you - I have kept up with walking but yet to give swimming a go, will add to my list. Pelvic floor exercises are already being done although need to get into a proper routine with them as some days I forget until the night haha.

I don't have a positive birth story so I'll save the gory details. But I do want to say that out of a very messy experience I'm fine and recovered well, I've got a wonderful child who is a joy every day (even when being a little gremlin), and although I definitely had a good cry about the whole thing after it happened, the memory fades and I've made my peace with the birth experience.

Childbirth is scary, and all the preparation in the world won't change the fact that things don't go according to plan. There's nothing wrong with wanting a C-section, and advocating for yourself for that! There's also nothing wrong with not having a 'positive birth experience', and the fact that you might not have this should factor into your decision, in my view. C-sections are not risk free and aren't always a positive experience either. But in the end as long as you're safe and the baby is OK, the way they came into the world probably won't end up mattering as much as you think.

My Friend's grandmother once told us as young girls of her experience with giving birth. She said she had a humongous meal that day and virtually 'pigged out'. She said burgers were stuck in her lungs and she could hardly breathe, but enjoyed the meal so much that couldn't stop eating! She laid back in her dining chair to digest for a few minutes before doing the dishes and her waters broke! She said she went to hospital and 2 hours later the first baby flew out of her like a ball out of canon!

I am pregnant too and am planning on pigging out close to my due date as well!

i really recommend some kind of antenatal education. I did NCT and really loved it. I learnt lots about how birth works (plus the interventions and Caesarian birth) but also how to make informed decisions and deal with plans changing.

If it helps I’ve had 2 vaginal births. First was on land, 6 hours and really good. The second was a water birth, under 3 hours and was amazing. I can honestly say my second birth was one of the best experiences of my life.

I have 6 children and every one of their births have been very straightforward.

All natural labours, first was 8 hours start to finish and they all followed a similar pattern.

It's perfectly natural to be worried but I hope this gives you a bit of hope that things can and do go well a majority of the time :)

This made me LOL and is very accurate for me as I can't stop eating at the moment! Thank you, hope you have a healthy pregnancy x

I think - for a variety of reasons - we've come to accept that birth is never going to plan and is always going to be traumatic. I plan and prepare for eventing and my birth will be no different and I'm choosing to ignore the naysayers and advocate for myself as much as possible. I have a birth plan for home birth and a birth plan for if get transferred to hospital and have an emergency c section.

One of my friends had a terrible first birth at 18 where she had no idea what was going and felt ignored and bossed around. For her second she read everything she could, was super assertive and said the experience was near orgasmic.

I think we will deffo sign up for some NCT and ante natal classes so that's good to know thank you. I have heard good things about water births too so that's lovely to hear! Thank you for your reassuring words.

Two straightforward and ok births here.
It is what it is!
Lots of luck :)

Thank you that's so reassuring to know! I'm fully expecting my birth "plan" to be more of a "birth guide" 😂 I think I am probably over worried which is very typical of me, sets me up for parenting I guess?!

I had two good natural vaginal births. The first was induced, so not natural/natural, but no intervention, no stitches.

The second I was to be home delivered but chickened out, went to hospital, and was literally in and out in a few hours. No induction, no time for water birth, just a bit of gas and air, and done and dusted. Again no stitches or anything.

You can't be certain of any outcome, but lots of ladies have no issues, and the best thing you can do over the next few months is keep fit and eat well, keep your weight down, and keep flexible. I went to the gym up to about 7 months, and swam and walked up to the day before.

Not a positive birth story but a positive c section recovery story, if that's something you end up considering further. I had an emergency section after 48 hours of induction/labour in which time I had two hours sleep and almost nothing to eat. My recovery was and still is (five weeks on) fantastic. I was walking and showering within six hours and as long as I kept on top of my painkillers the pain was always minimal. Happy to give more detail on any aspect! If I have a second child I'll absolutely choose an elective section.

Just to reassure on the c section side of things, I ended up having to have one and the recovery wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I was expecting! Yes it was sore and I struggled to move about as before for a few weeks, but it was a tenth as bad as I’d been led to believe. Congrats on the pregnancy!!

Thank you I think you're absolutely right - in my head I've built it up to be a hugely traumatic event before it's even happened (thanks anxious brain) because I only see the negative stories, when I know there are 95% of women out there who had a natural birth that went well! Sad about your friends first birth to not be listened to, but I'm glad her second was a lot more positive and she was well informed 🩷

Thank you that's very reassuring to hear! I wish I'd kept up with running tbh after finding out I was pregnant but I'm trying to walk each day and keep that up as well as eating healthily so that's something towards it.

Thank you so much - this is very reassuring to hear and I'm glad you're feeling better and on the mend! It's so difficult to only hear the negatives but this is super helpful to know in case of going down that route 😊

Thank you so much ❤️ I have heard elective experiences and emergency are so different but I think the recovery can be so different with both too so it's all circumstantial I guess!

I'll spare the details of mine apart from to say that despite on paper looking probably not great, that I still found it positive, and births can be positive even if not quite what the "ideal scenario" is. I found that learning about the process really helped, but the thing that helped most was asking questions during the birth and feeling like I understand why what was happening was happening. That gave me some ownership of a process that no one is really in control of!

You can prepare as much as you want, eat healthily, exercise etc, they don't hurt at all. But please remember that you can do absolutely everything "right" and your birth may not be as you ideally hope for. What you can absolutely do is learn about what you would prefer in different situations if it comes to it and be flexible. You will gain a beautiful baby at the end 🤩

And just as a note, I ended up with emcs and recovery was absolutely fine! Loved my c section in the end, a very positive experience.

Thank you! Yeah I am reading lots and trying to learn as much as I can so I am well informed going into it. Like you said I think I'll be making more of a birth "guide" rather than a plan as I know things can change quickly and the baby's safety is the most important thing. Good shout on the asking questions throughout - that's right up my street already 😂 x

I felt just like this when I got pregnant last year. I wanted a natural birth and was very scared of idea of interventions like forceps ect. However as baby and bump got bigger it feels more real ( in a good way) and just before I went into labour I remembering thinking if I need hospital induction and ++ medical intervention I'd be ok! So please don't stress.

Agree keep active as you can, I plodded a jog up into 3rd trimester and walked loads I'm sure it helped.

I had a water birth at home. Contractions started at 1am i woke in a panic phoned midwifes made DH half fill birth pool. Had contractions for hole day! No mucus plug no waters going. Started to get a bit more intense at 8pm and midwife came out to me. If I was having a hospital birth I would have gone in at this point although wouldn't have been easirt journey because it got intense very quickly! I had 30mins when I said I can't do it! I got in pool at about 10pm. Midwifes monitored baby every hour I think. Then asked for gass and air, which has always helped me in past with broken bones ect. Just felt like I was doing a huge poo! It's a productive push / pain. Could feel babies head coming out. Midwifes didn't have to do much but I asked it I was doing OK and they were supportive and told me when to do big push. Baby arrived at 1am. Waters went as baby born?

It's also how you tell a ' bad' birth story. A friend of mine had a compilated birth but can talk about it in a way that doesn't make you want to cross your legs!

Mindfulness and mediation help to go with the flow. We did NCT and found that helpful ( although very expensive)

Congratulations

My waters broke and I was in active labour, contractions less than 2 minutes apart but my baby was breeched so I had a c section.
Recovery was fine, after the first 3-4 days of being sore and my scare is a bit numb but all fine.

My biggest tip would be try a hypnobirthing course, as staying calm and distracted massively helps.

Antenatal classes are also very good. They will teach you what’s happening within your body, at each stage of labour and all about the pain relief options etc.
Having that understanding, in advance, makes a big difference.

Don’t be afraid to talk through your concerns with your midwife/consultant.

Also, I just kept reminding myself that women go on to have more children. I found that comforting!

My first was a waterbirth at home, second was in hospital but also very positive. Both went as smoothly as can be, no tearing, no pain relief, great recovery and a really positive start to motherhood. It sounds like you know already but your mindset and preparation, educating yourself are what you need to be doing, as well as tuning out negativity. I'd recommend finding a hypnobirthing course, from that you learn about the process of physiological birth, breathing exercises, calming meditations and above all an amazing sense of confidence that you absolutely can do it and that your body is made to give birth. The name is misleading, it's not about hypotism or anything like that. Regardless of how and where you choose to give birth, the skills you learn are invaluable.