Positive Birth Stories please

[PumpkinSpice24]

Hi all,

I have recently found out I am pregnant, currently 10 weeks after TTC for a year so very happy/excited however I have a long standing fear of childbirth/natural delivery - not sure if this is normal or not so no judgement please. Not keen on having a c section (unless in a emergency of course) as I have seen the recovery on friends can be very difficult.

I am trying to read lots of books and info so I am well informed on my pregnancy journey as this is my first baby but one thing I keep hearing is 'bad' or negative birth stories which isn't really helping my anxieties around childbirth. I know that the good stories are never really spoken about and for some reason people only tell you about the negatives!

Any positive birth stories? I feel like I have only heard 1 out of about 20!

Apologies if this doesn't make sense, this is my first thread on MN.

TYIA ❤

I always respond on these threads with my birth stories because I never really feel like I can talk about them in real life - they were so good that it feels like I’m bragging!

With dc1 I was 12 days overdue and had an induction. I was dreading it as people kept talking about how inductions were more painful and led to a “cascade of interventions”. As it was, I had one dose of the gel pessary, contractions started 2-3 hours later, and I had an amazing water birth 2 hours and 45 mins after my first contraction. I was in complete denial so only got to hospital 30 mins before ds was born - pain was manageable with just tens machine until that point. As soon as I got into the delivery room I hopped in the water (which felt incredible), got some gas and air, and DS was born 20 mins later. I didn’t even actively push - my body just did it for me. I did have a second degree tear which isn’t surprising as he was just under 9lbs with a head over the 100th centile and came so fast, but it healed really well with no issues.

DC2 was very similar. My waters broke on the day before my due date, labour didn’t start naturally so I had the gel again, contractions started and this time my entire labour lasted 1 hour 30 mins. I had gas and air and was in the pool for the last 30 minutes.

Honestly, whilst I guess in an ideal world I would have liked to have experienced going into labour by myself, in every way the actual births were just what I would have hoped and dreamed of.

In case it is relevant I was 31 and 33 when the kids were born, average build, did no exercise while pregnant!

I went 10 days overdue, then waters broke and no contractions. Went to hospital and they confirmed waters broke - said to go home and either come back went contractions were 5 mins apart or after 24 hours - whichever came first. Contractions still mild after 24 hours so went back and was advised to walk up and down the hospital stairs like a crab until they got stronger (must have looked mad!!) got stronger by about 30 hours post water breaking but still only 3cm dilated. Baby heart rate starting to get eratic so told either c-section or oxytocin induction with epidural as they said the high oxytocin dose wojld mean very painful contractions.

Opted for oxytocin and epidural. Was terrified of epidural injection in spine but was over before i even felt it! Then had a nap for 6 hours and they woke me up to say time to push. Could feel the pushing, but zero pain if that makes sense? 20-30 mins and she was out - no tearing. Bloody brilliant - easiest bit of having a baby!!!!!

I had a terrible induction with my first. So second time round I took things into my own hands and researched lots of things.
The naked doula account on instagram is a good source of information.

I had a home birth and it was magical. I'd do it again every day if I could. No scary bits, no trauma, no screaming or pain. Truly wonderful. It can be done.

Oh yes - I literally sighed at a lovely pregnant friend at work today and thought how I’d love to swap places with her including pushing the baby out because it is the best thing in the world and left me feeling like Superwoman for at least the next 10 years.

In my 30s, 2 home births, wonderful midwife care, no tears, lots of joy and laughing through the process. (It stops hurting completely in between contractions.)

For the 2nd birth, a mindset of ‘trying to orgasm’ and ‘going with the flow’ during contractions, which while not at all sexual, perhaps lead to rapid dilation and a very speedy birth.

I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. The most defining and spiritual and fulfilling 2 days of my life.

You’ve got it all to come and I hope your experience will bring you a similar joy. X

Just for a different perspective I had what might be described as a ‘bad’ birth experience - 2 weeks overdue, induction didn’t work followed by an emergency CS with a significant blood loss. I have absolutely ZERO negative feelings about it, in fact I look back on it fondly because I got to meet my much wanted baby girl, we both came out healthy and my recovery went well. Midwifes and doctors were fantastic throughout and I’m very grateful to them, I wasn’t pushed to do anything - I feel like I made my decisions in a calm and informed way.

I had my perfect natural birth plan all written up, it wasn’t to be - but it doesn’t mean you’ll feel bad about your experience if it doesn’t go to plan.

Mine was textbook apart from being 6 days late. I was booked in for an induction but when I got there at 12h was already about 4cm dilated. At 18h I think my waters broke and I started pushing. Less than half an hour later, healthy 6lb baby. No interventions apart from 2 (I think) stitches. No complications afterwards apart from not pooing for a week😐The most painful bit was the heavy contractions before waters breaking. Once you start pushing, your body takes over and you don't really think about it. I was a shouter when pushing, but you realise that they're not really shouts of pain but of effort, like an athlete. But as plenty of posters have said, anything can happen. You can have an easy, healthy pregnancy and a bad birth, and a terrible pregnancy and an "easy" birth. Hard not to stress about it though!

Just to say no matter how you give birth, you'll be so proud of your body for creating this little life. Birth is such a momentary stage in motherhood, you'll have the rest of your life with your little one.

That being said it is a huge occasion so hoping you get the delivery you'd prefer.

Prebirth plan - start with gas and air and was open to suggestions after that.
I was high risk so wasn't expecting to be able to use the midwife led unit.

My waters went at midnight at 38 weeks. I went to be checked and they checked to see if I could be offered a sweep as I wasn't at 40 weeks. They decided that if the ctg didn't show contractions they would do the sweep. They did so I went home with some cocodamol and told to come back when they were 3 in 10 minutes and 1 minute each. I was booked for an induction at 10pm the following night as there is an infection risk if baby doesn't arrive within 24h of waters breaking.

It was 3 am before I could feel the contractions. At 7 they were 3 in 10 and 1 minute each. At 8 I went in to be checked. I was 2cm sent home. I had been home about an hour and it was getting hard to stay at home. I phoned back and begged to be let back in. The first midwife was hesitant but the midwife I had seen earlier was now running the midwife unit an had space for me even if i was still 2cm and as the high risk was pregnancy and post birth I could be on the unit to give birth. I arrived and was fully dilated and got straight into the pool and wash pushing a few minutes later. Baby arrived 40 minutes after getting to the hospital. She arrived to a room full of people as her shoulder had been slightly stuck but came free without assistance but the midwife had hit the button a minute before she arrived.
We spent 5h in the room after the birth on our own waiting for a private room to come available on the ward as per my birth plan by my consultant to help me get better sleep.

From my experience those that had the "better" experiences were those that had less detailed thoughts about what was going to happen as it's something you can't plan for and then there's disappointments even for equal births. It could have been a very different birth. I could have not gone into labour and needed inducing, I could have not been put off going back and had the baby at home, I could have had a stuck shoulder and her needed help getting out. I was fortunate but I trusted my instincts and was quite forceful about not coping at home. I was actually getting the urge to push. My partner encouraged me to call so definitely get your birthing partner to look out for you. Listen to the advice of the professionals and ask for the rationale. Decisions you feel you understand the reasoning for are easier to accept.

I wanted a pain free delivery. Had an early epidural - no pain or discomfort. Did my nails, slept a lot and watched Wimbledon during labour - all very straightforward.

First birth ..
Contractions started after stretch and sweep got gradually worse the next afternoon, went to the hospital was 3cm in a lot of pain. The only reason they kept me in was because my waters had broke .. had him 25 mins later no time for medication. One stitch.

One thing I do think has helped me massively in my births is giving birth standing up right until the head has crowned then just get on the bed to push ..

Don't let them force you onto that bed! I couldn't imagine anything worse. I used a rope type thing to pull my way through contractions and I honestly think all this worked.

Obviously every birth and position is different but just trying to help

I really recommend perineal massage, did it regularly with my first and no stitches needed despite her being back to back and born face up.
Couldn't do it as well with my second as had really bad SPD/PGP and generally bigger bump so more awkward to do, but just had a small second degree with him and he was nearly 4kg tbf so pretty lucky.

I agree with keeping active if you can and any hint of SPD/PGP then get some work adjustments, I ended up with issues 2 years postpartum and was defo aggravated by 12h shifts on my feet until 32 weeks. And also end up resting lots at the end and that means baby more likely to be back to back, which makes labour and delivery more tricky, so defo look at Spinning Babies as well. Managed to get my second baby to deliver the right way around despite being back to back for most of third trimester.

Laboured in water with my second and it was great, defo recommend. Also make sure you breathe in the gas and air properly as it makes it much more effective than if just huffing it out. Found the birth centre midwife with my second was much better than the hospital midwife with nmy first for correcting me on this and it made a big difference to the pain relieving effect for me. And get your birthing partner to look into counter pressure hip squeezes, they are amazing for pain relief!

Good luck! Also unconventional but I recommend watching One Born Every Minute for preparation and sort of realistic expectations haha. Not for everyone though!

I have 3 DC and have had three overall very positive 'natural' vaginal births without pain relief, although elements of each I would have changed if I could. However, I do think it was just luck rather than anything I did!
Educate yourself without scaring yourself too much about the possibilities if you can, as I do think being informed enough to advocate for yourself and your choices during labour is really important rather than just blindly agreeing to things sometimes.

My c section was an emergency one. I’d got myself SO worked up in the run up that I’d need one because of what I’d heard about the recovery, that when they said they needed to get her out quick, I was utterly devastated. In the end I wish I could go back and have a strong word with myself, because it wasn’t anywhere near as bad and I added a lot of anxiety and pressure onto myself for no reason in the last few weeks of pregnancy!

Wow thank you all so much for the advice and stories, especially the ones where you , like me, built something up in your head and it wasn’t as bad during the experience as expected. I didn’t think I’d get many comments on my first thread! This is all so helpful and I’ve noted down a few bits about hypnobirthing and NCT etc classes in my local area.

Thank you all for being kind and not judgemental, easy to worry about something before it’s happened and is the “unknown” ! Think I might have to start a pregnancy tips thread there’s been so much helpful advice 😊 xx

I had a planned induction, due to gestational diabetes. Seven hours from waters being broken to birth. While it wasn't something I would have chosen it didn't feel like there was anything I couldn't handle and I would say it was a good birth overall and I made a good recovery. I think a lot of this was that I knew what was going to happen.

Hey OP!

I come from a line of women who have had many children (3-6 births each). Each one of them have opted for epidurals or opted c-sections (since they've been historically available). They also all thought breastfeeding was gross. I never wanted children as it seems the woman I'm related to are genetically inclined to dislike their offspring. Then in 2018 I fell pregnant accidentally and it was too late to abort. I was terrified. I decided to do hypnobirthing to try and find some peace in my situation. It was transformational. I ended up having two water births at home with a tens machine the first time and just a bit of gas and air the second time. I was so empowered that the midwives weren't even in the room with me until the last possible moment. The first time I was in labour for 50 hours but honestly would say the worst I felt was discomfort. I walked a lot, moved my body, was on the birthing ball and then spent the last hour or so in the water. The midwife showed DH this pressure massage for the base of my spine for some of the more intense contractions which I'd recommend looking up! Overall though It was uncomfortable not painful. My body felt so strong. I was in awe of it. I offer the stories about my background as context that before it happened to me I thought these stories were all fabricated nonsense. But now I've lived it.

My second child was also born at home in the water. She was in a bit more of a rush so it was quite forceful at times, but again a very empowering experience. Again lots of movement, squatting, being on all 4's etc. I found lying on my back severely uncomfortable. Wouldn't recommend.

Of the 8 families in my hypnobirthing class the resounding message was that even for those who didn't get their 'perfect birth', even when things went far differently to expected or where they ended up with inductions and interventions what they got from hypnobirthing was skills in remaining calm, informed and in control. You can have a textbook birth but if you feel out of control and scared then it is those emotions that stay with you. Likewise you could end up with an emergency c section but because people have used kind language, you've been able to breathe and stay informed/empowered in the way you want to be then you still feel like the experience had positive elements and that makes it okay. Just based on my very small subset of parents I know through the hypnobirthing crew that I met each time.

Wishing you a positive journey throughout pregnancy and motherhood. Congratulations xx

I’ve skimmed over the other replies so not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet but I highly recommend hypnobirthing! It’s not for everyone as I think it either works for you or it doesn’t but I found some of the elements worked brilliantly for me, such as the learning how to breath and doing the relaxation exercises. But mainly it helped me to be really informed about birth and what was happening to me and also what I could ask for and refuse. Birth just seems like one of those mysteries that no one really discusses publicly and I’ll be honest, I didn’t really have a clue how the baby was going to get out! I knew about contractions and waters and all that but no one had ever explained why or how these things work and my hypnobirthing instructor really explained what your body is doing and how to help it to make things easier.

I had a water birth with my first and it was a lovely experience. Very calm, fairly short labour and a happy healthy baby. If you find baths comforting and good at easing aches and pains I would recommend a water birth. My second I was induced and it was a different experience entirely. I was scared of induction but due to the amazing midwives and my wonderful partner it was still a positive experience. I think we’re often just scared of the unknown. Make sure you’re informed and know what you want/are comfortable with and you’ll be fine whatever birth throws at you.

Had a longer 'early labour phase' - 30 hours to get to 2cm - but managed it all at home on my own - 6 hours later I turned up at the hospital - 10cm dilated and the pressure I was feeling in my bum with every contraction was my body naturally pushing. 20 mins upon arriving to the hospital, baby was born 😊 no interventions, 1 tiny tear that just had 1 stitch, felt great after, went home the same day 😊

I also alternated between using a tens machine on my lower back and having a bath to help with the contractions. Would strongly recommend hypnobirthing even just for the breathing techniques...the breathing really really helps

Congratulations. Birth is always an unknown on how it will be. The best is to read up on what can happen so if you need intervention you are knowledgeable. Get a birth plan together on what feels right for you. This plan might change but that’s because it has to for the safety of your baby and yourself. Giving birth is in the best experiences of my life as is breastfeeding. Women have the ability to grow a baby and then sustain life and this is amazing.

I always think this bit is a bit like when girls talk about their 'first time' - periods, sex, etc - and there are lots of horror stories about it. The reality is it will probably be a mix of good and bad, you might feel shaken up a bit but you'll be ok.

It's also not always the case that the facts of a birth correspond to the way you experience it. A birth with lots of interventions, tearing etc might not cause any mental trauma but a straightforward one where you don't feel respected or in control can feel traumatic. You might also need c-section.

Ultimately you just need to roll with it. Being scared won't help you.

I had a really positive birth on my first - but it was a failed induction followed by EMCS.

I was contracting like mad on the trace with the drip turned to the max but not feeling anything and no dilation, so I had a very very relaxed c section (more relaxed than my ELCS two years later!) the following morning. I breastfed in recovery and went on to EBF without issue.

My recovery was fine - I was a bit slow for the first 6-8 weeks but it didn't stop me doing anything really, just had to take slightly different walks with the buggy until I was strong enough to push it up hill.

You never know what's coming when you're having a baby, but there's loads of different ways to have a positive experience, and I suspect the more open you are to that the less traumatising it is if things don't go to plan.

Thank you so much this is so helpful and informative, really appreciate your comment 😊I will deffo take a look into hypnobirthing as there's been quite a few recommendations! x

As you and others have said, have your birth plan but be aware it may become a wish list instead!!
I have 3, all home births and last little man was also a water birth. My labours all started with my waters breaking and within 3 hours all were born - that was quite scary the first time and from starting to push to being delivered all were only about 15/20 minutes but at least I was prepared 2nd and 3rd time for it to happen again.
I too had great plans but while some went out the window others were non negotiable.
I wanted to be able to move until the last minute, I did not want to be on my back and wanted babies handed straight to me, cord not cut until it stopped pulsing and to be left alone in the quiet/dimly lit room and I found that so peaceful and was so content and just enthralled with this little miracle in my arms - as was DH😍
I moved constantly, used the birthing ball, a tens machine, leaned over the bed, on all fours, I found it distracted me and helped.
I tried gas and air but it made me feel nauseous so scrapped that
While going through it you may have an I'm SO NEVER doing this EVER again but believe me when they are in your arms you will instantly forget, our youngest is 5 months and we are already planning on going again in a few months.
I found great relief from my husband massaging a tennis on my lower spine.
God love him it was the only thing he did right as no matter what he did or said he was wrong, irritating, bugging the shit out of me, just breathing basically and got dogs abuse😂
All was forgiven though as soon as we saw and held him.
Good luck, enjoy, good bad or in between experience it's something you will never ever regret.

I had two positives births 21 and 18 ago. Under 4 hours for both, no pain relief ( but would've had it if needed) and very calm and relaxed people around me.
Everyone will always tell you the horror stories but mine were lovely