Positive Birth Stories please

[PumpkinSpice24]

Hi all,

I have recently found out I am pregnant, currently 10 weeks after TTC for a year so very happy/excited however I have a long standing fear of childbirth/natural delivery - not sure if this is normal or not so no judgement please. Not keen on having a c section (unless in a emergency of course) as I have seen the recovery on friends can be very difficult.

I am trying to read lots of books and info so I am well informed on my pregnancy journey as this is my first baby but one thing I keep hearing is 'bad' or negative birth stories which isn't really helping my anxieties around childbirth. I know that the good stories are never really spoken about and for some reason people only tell you about the negatives!

Any positive birth stories? I feel like I have only heard 1 out of about 20!

Apologies if this doesn't make sense, this is my first thread on MN.

TYIA ❤

Oh yes and download the Squeezy app if you need reminders to the pelvic floor exercises

The biggest tip I think I would give is to have a long hard think about how you manage stress and anxiety.
The things that helped me most were the exercises that help me with anxiety.
I do this mindful exercise where I imagine I am on a boat in the middle of the sea and my breathing controls the waves. I have to lie /sit and try to make my breathing stop the waves from going over the sides and then giving calm water. This is the only form of mindfulness that doesn't make me irrationally angry! I didn't do any hypnobirthing classes because of this

If you are a "dance it out" or music person incorporate that. If it's candles and aromatherapy incorporate that.

You know your mind and body it doesn't change because you are pregnant or giving birth. Take advice but always bring it back to you and what you know about yourself. Don't try to force your round peg into someone else square hole.

Started with contractions on the Friday morning, they weren’t too bad. Went shopping that night, had some food, went to the pub (soft drink, obviously) then went home to bed.
got bad contractions through the night, thought my waters had gone so went to the hospital in the morning, waters hadn’t gone so went home again, slept for a bit, got up and went to bingo. (Didn’t play) Came home, went to bed.
Sunday contractions were pretty bad, spent the day at home, people visited, just chilled really, then went to bed.
spent a bit of time with bad contractions, managed to fall asleep but woke up feeling like I needed to use the bathroom, went to the bathroom and contractions were coming all the time, went to the hospital, got checked over I was 9cm and I had her a couple of hours later. No pain relief, no complications just a normal birth. I had her in the birthing centre and it was lovely. I was in labour for 3 days.

Ah this is exactly what I needed though - good stories from both perspectives. Maybe I just live in a area where everyone is keen to share the horror stories 😂interesting on their choice for a elective though on their 2nd, I only know one person who has had an elective and that was because she had a c section for her first so knew what to expect etc xx

Thank you - I do love yoga and have been doing some yoga videos at home so this is definitely a bit of me. will keep it up and try different ones too as I used to love the in person yoga class I went to with all the affirmations etc xx

Thank you for the podcast recommendation - I will add this to my list, I've downloaded and listened to a few so far on pregnancy etc. You sound like me I get easily stressed/anxious in certain situations so pre-empting this one and trying to learn as much as I can so I am well informed going into it all :) xx

Love that you went to the pub and bingo!!! Brilliant haha. A good thing to keep in mind for sure if it's a long one😅x

I've had four DC and every birth was straightforward, though I did need stitches after the first.

They went best when I was upright and moving through labour and able to squat during delivery if I needed to. Big babies, and no labour longer than 9 hours.

Most labours are straightforward. NCT classes are useful and it helps to be calm IF you can manage it! Good luck!

This is lovely and really good advice. I have done mindfulness before so I was guessing hypnobirthing was similar. Thank you for your comment, it's very similar to what a x-ray nurse in hospital that helped me through a procedure said to imagine. Never forgotten that! I've actually saved this little sequence on my phone notes for future as well. x

Thank you - yes deffo going to look into some local NCT classes! Good to know re moving around and the positions, a few previous posters mentioned this so I'll keep it in mind (and hopefully remember this when in labour haha) xx

did HypnoBirth. Was a qualified therapist and thought I’d do their training when I was pregnant to see what it was all about. I’m not all ‘woo’ so knew what drugs I could have when.

The birth was so bloody boring. I kept wandering off for a walk up and down the corridor and I was so bored and spent all night listening to radio 4. I considered trying has and air to see if it was like laughing bad but really could t be arsed.

How did you find Hypnotbirthing as a therapist? This is a good perspective and the boring part did make me laugh, think this is the best view I've had so far 😂thank you xx

Every one shares horror stories because people don’t like you when you say you had a lovely birth when everything goes well! Like at a group and one person says oh I needed epidural as I couldn’t cope with the pain, I can’t really jump and say it wasn’t so bad without sounding like an asshole!

Like my kids toilet trained super early - I don’t tell people as they don’t want to hear that when they are struggling! but everyone knows my kids were crappy sleepers 🤣

I had my first in 2022, currently pregnant with my second.

Hypnobirthing etc wasn't for me but I did stay active during pregnancy (nothing exciting just walking and going to the gym a few times a week to walk uphill).

Start to finish my labour was 8 hours. I didn't know what to expect and I'd always feared childbirth loads so had low expectations. By the point I told my husband I needed to go in as I was struggling with the pain I got to hospital to be told I was 10cm dilated and they could see my sons head!!!! I was shocked because I genuinely assumed I was maybe 4/5cm max after stories I'd heard. The pushing didn't really hurt at all, I didn't have any pain relief or gas and air and they did do a little cut as my sons head was slightly turned making it harder to come out, they gave me an injection before and I didn't feel the cutting or injection at all. I think adrenaline takes over!!!!!

I'm pregnant again and whilst not actively looking forward to labour it wasn't the worst pain I'd ever been in, was pain free immediately after birth and not traumatic for me at all.

I had two straightforward natural births. Both fairly quick and in a birthing pool, which I can highly recommend. I tore both times but honestly didn’t feel a thing. Mildly uncomfortable being stitched up after but nothing terrible.

Breastfeeding hurt more than I expected in the following days, so recommend taking any advice from feeding support team if you can. They will help with finding the right latch etc.

Best of luck, I hope you have a smooth birthing journey

Sometimes I think it’s a bit subjective whether you view your birth as positive/easy vs hard/traumatic. Don’t get me wrong there are very clear cases when you might say yep that was horrendous - but what might be traumatic for one person, isnt for another. Id talk through concerns about labour with your midwife, but giving birth I think is one of these experiences that we have no control over but can definitely do things to help.

Very true! Haha I hope they are sleeping better now for you! x

Thank you very much, I will definitely look into BF support as I do want to try and do it if I can :) x

100%, I think that is why I want to be as well informed as I can and reading/learning lots so I can make decisions based on that information rather than in the moment and never hearing of it before. True - what is negative for one person might not be for the other, just good to get a good range of perspectives and opinions going into it x

I had three straightforward births all at home. The second two were with independent midwives and I can’t tell you the difference it made. It’s absolutely the best money I’ve ever spent. The first birth was ok as I had a v supportive GP but the midwives weren’t great and wouldn’t support a Waterbirth. I pains in instalments and it cost the same as a holiday. I only went to hospital for 12 week and 20 week scan. All other appointments at home with the same two women. First and second labours we’re 12 hours each and painful but manageable with gas and air. Third was 5 hours and he was two weeks overdue. Good luck OP,

Two hypno birthing births for me, both with only gas and air and both in the birthing pool. They were both long labours I won't lie, but in both I felt in control and it was all very calm. Not all births are chaotic and awful op good luck

Yes definitely, arming yourself with knowledge. I also felt like I wished I read up more on what to actually do once the baby was here! I feel like I spent so much time preparing for birth/labour and once the baby was here I thought oh crap, what do I do now haha!

Mine were fast, and the hospital staff variable. I found that having done yoga all my life up until then, and my old trusty Sheila Kitzinger Pregnancy and Childbirth book got me through a lot. First one I ended up anaemic, and second was twins, but I was just so pleased with myself and happy for having those children.

Find out as much as you can and you can help yourself as much as possible.

Also, preparing as much as possible to make your life easier, after the birth, is very worthwhile.

I think this will be my next thread haha! Everyone has been so helpful so far, and having lived experiences/tips won't hurt to collect especially once baby is here as I am sure I will be the same 😅

Thank you! I love yoga so will keep on with that for sure. Thanks for the book recommendation as well. Thats my plan just trying to arm myself with info so am well informed if anything happens I am not prepared for haha. I think post birth baby tips will be my next thread as I've seen a good few suggestions for it!! x