Positive Birth Stories please

[PumpkinSpice24]

Hi all,

I have recently found out I am pregnant, currently 10 weeks after TTC for a year so very happy/excited however I have a long standing fear of childbirth/natural delivery - not sure if this is normal or not so no judgement please. Not keen on having a c section (unless in a emergency of course) as I have seen the recovery on friends can be very difficult.

I am trying to read lots of books and info so I am well informed on my pregnancy journey as this is my first baby but one thing I keep hearing is 'bad' or negative birth stories which isn't really helping my anxieties around childbirth. I know that the good stories are never really spoken about and for some reason people only tell you about the negatives!

Any positive birth stories? I feel like I have only heard 1 out of about 20!

Apologies if this doesn't make sense, this is my first thread on MN.

TYIA ❤

Thank you this is very valuable and reassuring to know 🤗

I've had two births.

One was not positive and pretty traumatic, and the other (second) was amazing - not pain free lol, but I've previously referred to it as pretty empowering and cathartic after the first one.

What I will say is, even after a traumatic birth, I'm totally fine. You get through it. I still did decide to do it again, apprehensive as I was about it.

So hope for the positive, but try and limit your expectations as you don't want to feel stressed / disappointed during if things aren't going to plan. I deliberately had "birth preferences" rather than a plan or guide! And it all went out the window regardless really, in both cases - it's more just about you educating yourself in advance.

In terms of the positive experience I had - get yourself a tens machine, as they are excellent. I had that on at home for a few hours, then went to hospital, ended up in a dimmed room with mood lighting and a pool - still with my tens on walking about, topping it up with gas and air. I eventually tried a dip in the pool (nice between contractions but I preferred the tens for pain relief during, which I had to take off to get in the water,) and then out of the pool for pushing. 15 mins of pushing, babe in arms and tea and toast, and the best high of your life. I'd have done it again in a heartbeat!!

Thank you - I have heard of Tens machines so I will take a look at those, and the water birth sounds very popular! So that is a option I will keep in mind. The last line of your comment made me smile, and makes me look forward to that moment 🤗xx

@PumpkinSpice24 There's honestly nothing like it. And at the end of it all, even with any trauma you may or may not have to face, a positive birth story is healthy you and healthy baby having a cuddle at the other end of it, regardless of what you have to do to get there. It is all worth it! ♥️

Thank you that is really lovely, I can't wait until they are here and for those cuddles! Although seems ages away as only 10 weeks and I've known since week 5 😅xx

It's natural it's normal - close your eyes and think of England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 gas and air only and both flew out - thank goodness

I never understood the word 'joy' till that little girl was placed in my arms

I had 2 positive births - both in hospital (I'd wanted birthing centre but couldn't because of a risk factor). Whilst labour is certainly hard, I'm lucky to say that in neither case was it in anyway traumatic and I loved the postbirth rush of hormones in both cases.

But the key thing is - I can't claim to have done anything to have two straightforward births - as many have said, it's always a matter of chance so definitely have an open mind and don't be too intent on birth 'looking' a certain way - I think that's when trauma can rear it's head as you feel like you failed in some way.

Trauma also comes from not feeling listened to - so one thing I would recommend is to consider hiring a birth doula to be with you and help advocate for you - it was great for my first birth (didn't feel I needed it for my second).

While I'd never claim that I did anything in particular to have straightforward births, I feel like maybe the following helped me:

• Staying active throughout pregnancy - walking/ swimming/ prenatal yoga
• Towards the end of the pregnancy starting to be very aware of the baby's position and doing what you can to help it get into the best possible position for birth - that means no lolling back on couches, curb walking, doing exercises on the birth ball or just sitting on it to watch TV and rotating your hips. Have a look at the Spinning babies website.

Congratulations & best of luck!

I think I started out like that, but the more I've read and thought about it the better I've felt about it all. I'm about to start some hypnobirthing which has been consistently recommended to me.

It sounds bizarre, but I read the Midwife of Auschwitz during my first trimester. Whilst I would not necessarily recommend that as it's pretty traumatic, I found it quite reflective. The book is fiction but based on the a formal report by the real midwife. Whilst I cried a lot reading it, it put my own concerns in context: these poor women with literally nothing, nothing of their own, no proper medical facilities, no pain relief, no real support if it went wrong or follow-up treatment, meagre food rations, no hope - got through it and all of the 3000 mums and babies survived the birth itself (which is true). I reflected a lot that ultimately women have given birth all over the world every day since the dawn of time, and where I am right here is an extremely privileged position in terms of the options available to me: antenatal care, sufficient quality, quantity and variety of food, access to safe water and sanitation, a safe labouring environment, medical knowledge and advice and pain management, and care for baby and for me if things don't go 100% to script. Whilst I'm not going to pretend I'm not still nervous, I recognise that I'm in a better position than most of the women on the planet now, let alone all the women that have ever been, and acknowledging that has led me to a process of stopping overcomplicating things with all of the information and options available. Ultimately, I will use my own instincts, and embrace medicine if and when I need to and give strong weight to medical advice in that decision-making process.

Very boring here but 2 very straightforward vaginal births with gas and air episotomy 1st time, single stich the 2nd. Breaking my collar bone was much more painful and a tough nightshift much more difficult to get through. As others have said nothing beats holding that baby in your arms. Maybe TMI but DH did say sex feels the same as before for him. DM had 3 Vaginal births, DGM had 4 noone had any urinary problems afterwards DGM was continent until her death at 92.

Good luck and congratulations🌺

Do consider an epidural - I had an early one as I couldn’t see the point of being in discomfort or pain. It was amazing - I did my nails, slept for hours and then watched Wimbledon. Perfect and no after effects. .

Sign up to the Poaitive Birth Company course £37/39. Watch Bridget Teyler on YT. Care about Little ones. Spinning babies etc etc.

They reccomended I do consultant led due to BMI. I said no thanks. Then I got ICP at 37wks and they also said go to co aultant led. Said no thanks. Did my research and was in touch with ICP charity "CEO" satisfied to carry on locally. Then they said DS was small (born at 6lbs perfectly healthy) they said to go to conaultant led. So no thanks.
Went into labour naturally at 39w5d 9 hours and water birth. No issues or complications. Just listened to my body uses spinning babies and hypnobirthing and gas and air.

All the stereotypes they placed on me were rubbish and I was the complete opposite No complications or issues.

I had an ELCS for my first, VBAC for my second.

I've never shared this IRL with anyone other than DH but I honestly loved giving birth the second time. Waters broke and baby born 6 hours later. Used breathing exercises and TENS machine for start of labour, then went into the birthing pool just before I started needing to push. Baby born in the water around an hour later. All felt very zen and in control. Hard to describe but when I was in the water it almost felt like I was in a trance - was just in the zone and let my body do its thing. I've never experienced joy like it after baby was born - I felt like superwoman and like I could do anything. So empowering. I had so much anxiety around birth and was really worked up before baby was born and so massively surprised myself. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Do read the positive birth book by Millie Hill and read up on active birthing, gravity and movement is your friend. Anything you can do to stay relaxed and let oxytocin flow - dim lights, nice playlist etc. You can't control everything and things won't always go to plan but I found educating myself around birth helped as I felt more prepared and understood a bit more what was happening.

Good luck x

Thank you that’s all really helpful, sorry to be stupid but what is curb walking…? Am hopefully to stay as active as I can as I go on through my pregnancy so 🤞🏼this helps me on the big day !! I am absolutely seeing my birth “plan” as more of a “birth guide/ wish list”, which I think helps manager expectations! Xx

Thank you - I love a good book so will check this out, sounds like it will 100% make me cry! My mum also says this to me a lot re the amount of medical help etc we have here and women have given birth in worse circumstances etc and they were okay, which does help and I do need to remember/ remind myself!! Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy. X

Thank you I will check these out! YouTube videos are perfect for having on in the background whilst wfh / cooking so I will add these to my list 😊 x

Thank you for sharing I really appreciate it, I think someone else recommended this book so I’ll add it to my list. That’s how I feel atm just want to be well informed to make the right decisions should it come to that, as I know that helps me relax and will therefore help with contractions/ pain hopefully. Also having a birth “guide” rather than an actual plan I think helps manage expectations xx

First baby was a failed induction resulting in an emergency C-section but I healed well. The recovery was only hard for the first week or two.

Second baby, went for a sweep at 40 weeks, had a few contractions that night, then went into labour properly the next evening. Spent the evening in the bath breathing through the contractions, then got to hospital for about midnight, was able to use a bathtub again for several hours during the night. Then at about 9am when it really started to hurt I got a lightly dosed epidural and lay down on the bed for a nap. Two hours later the epidural was wearing off and I was ready to push. Pushed for about five minutes and then she was out. Small tear which was stitched up under local anaesthetic. Easy recovery.

I already was a qualified therapist and the lady who set up the ‘method’ was over in the UK training therapists so I thought I may as well do her training than go to a practitioner (therapists are the worst patients).

So I trained as a therapist a few weeks before giving birth and wrote my exam papers with DS on my lap.

I did do some classes later on because mums called me as I was on the register. It was pretty positive and the mums were all happy.

Thank you for sharing! Good to see c section and vaginal birth experiences and the recovery differences x