Positive Birth Stories please

[PumpkinSpice24]

Hi all,

I have recently found out I am pregnant, currently 10 weeks after TTC for a year so very happy/excited however I have a long standing fear of childbirth/natural delivery - not sure if this is normal or not so no judgement please. Not keen on having a c section (unless in a emergency of course) as I have seen the recovery on friends can be very difficult.

I am trying to read lots of books and info so I am well informed on my pregnancy journey as this is my first baby but one thing I keep hearing is 'bad' or negative birth stories which isn't really helping my anxieties around childbirth. I know that the good stories are never really spoken about and for some reason people only tell you about the negatives!

Any positive birth stories? I feel like I have only heard 1 out of about 20!

Apologies if this doesn't make sense, this is my first thread on MN.

TYIA ❤

Thank you this is so lovely and helpful, full of info too I am noting all these down - noted on the tennis ball massage 😂I can't wait to meet the baby and as yourself and previous posters have mentioned how worth it all is after and that the birthing process is a small blip in a long timeline! So trying to remember things like that when my anxious brain takes over. Interesting how many people have mentioned water births being really help so I think I will look into this (and all options obviously) with my midwife as lots of positive experiences!! I will look up Tens machines too xx

2 children. Had husband and sister with me for both.

1st , I was induced but only with pessaries. Walked lots went into labour fairly easily. Lovely and calm. No pain relief. Did breathing- which I think was a form of hypnobirthing. Used water until about to give birth. I had a low lying placenta so couldn't have a water birth.

2nd, at home. Had a couple of false starts which I think was long slow labour but not too bad. Water birth. No pain relief. Was helping to clear up after wards. 🙄

Recommend water as pain relief and staying active until in established labour.

I’m pregnant with my second and looking forward to the birth! Giving birth to my first was the most amazing, intense and empowering experience. I 100% recommend hypnobirthing to prepare, I did the Positive Birth Company online course and it gave me so much knowledge on what to expect, the physiology of birth and different coping skills to help manage labour.

Thank you - that's so true I feel like everyone tell the horror stories, especially one colleague couldn't wait to tell me just 'how brutal the birth was' which is not helpful!! As I then just over worry and have this fear of the unknown/compare to their experiences. It's hard to understand and look forward to when you have that many bad experiences thrown at you so I am so grateful for all the positive ones on this thread, they really are so helpful and reassuring. xx

Haha the cleaning up bit after did make me laugh! I'll keep that in mind to try and get out of😉thank you xx

I've had 3 fantastic births! First and third were inductions, but 2nd was natural.

Childbirth is painful, no point denying that, but it's 1 day (roughly) of pain, and then you'll have your beautiful baby ❤️

I highly recommend drinking raspberry leaf tea (later in pregnancy)

I would say just be careful about using things for counterpressure such as tennis ball, etc. if your labour is on the longer side. Fine if only few hours ofc but less likely in a first timer. I used a hot compress pack on my back with my first which felt amazing at the time - I spent around 7 hours pushing against it for pain relief in addition to the gas and air with a back to back baby and on the hormone drip which typically makes contractions worse. I ended up with a really swollen, painful and bruised lower back after, was almost worse than the downstairs (though I didn't tear tbf).Was really good pain relief at the time though but I probably pressed against it harder than your birth partner may use something like a ball maybe.

Hip squeezes from my husband for my second birth I found didn't have any long lasting effects but man they made so much difference, especially combined with the water. Everything was going so well for my second with the water, proper use of gas and air and the hip squeezes that I was started getting into groove and was almost happy to keep contracting rather than push him out 😂

And agree birth plans can be wish lists, I really wanted a water birth with my first but my waters went with meconium (baby had done a poo which is a possible sign of distress) so had the drip to get her out sooner. I cried a lot as was really wanting a water birth 🙈 and made my blood pressure go up 🫣 but thankfully all settled down and was fine on dry land in the end.

You can find a lot of positive birth stories here - https://thepositivebirthcompany.com/blog

Baby number 1: induction and epidural as early as possible. I napped through most of it! I think being so relaxed actually helped a lot, and I had no tearing or anything. Perineal massage, prenatal yoga, and practicing breathing the baby out probably also helped. Hypnobirthing is useful for a lot more than avoiding pain relief!

Baby number 2: had an induction booked but* *went into labour naturally a couple of days early. The whole thing was only 3.5 hours long, with a total of 13 minutes in hospital! No time for pain relief or even to sit down. Yes, the contractions were painful without any kind of relief, but it stopped quickly. The feeling when the baby’s shoulder came out and the contractions stopped was amazing. 😂 And someone else already mentioned, but don’t be afraid of the screaming! It sounds scary but it really is more like an athlete pushing.

Good luck!

Ooooh thank you so much this sounds just what I was looking for! Thanks for sharing 😊x

I had an amazing elective section. So calm, relaxing, pain free. Easy recovery, I was out walking around the park when the baby was 3 days old. I would 100% choose it again.

Educate yourself about pain relief, positions to give birth in and post partum. I didn’t the first time and got a shock.

5 years later, with my second baby. I had a beautiful delivery. Naturally went into labour at 38 weeks. 14 hour delivery. Gas and air and epidural and a lovely calm environment. I gave birth in the sitting position and had the most incredible delivery. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Congratulations on your pregnancy 🥰

I didn't intend to. It just somehow happened.- holding newly minted DS whilst sliding a towel around with my foot. Dd slept through the whole thing upstairs

Thank you so much, I am super keen to research and learn as much as I can beforehand as I feel that helps me with worry. I'd rather be well informed and know 'too much info' than less/none! I've got a few books, some podcasts lined up and lots of read up on from all the advice given on this thread so far. Positions so far have been quite interesting to hear everyone's - think I've been naïve in thinking it was lying or sitting down on the bed/pool only! Thank you, very happy to be pregnant after a while of TTC 🤗xx

This is a really good perspective to hear thank you!! I've only heard of people being 'bed bound' for 3-6 weeks after a c section so it's refreshing to hear something different! Thank you xx

My second birth was the best. I woke up with labour pains and got straight into a warm, deep bath. When I got out a couple of hours later to call the midwife, I realised that I needed to push, a few pushes standing by the sink and my beautiful 9lb daughter slithered out into my husband's hands. No stitches needed, all very peaceful. It was the best and easiest birth imaginable, I still smile thinking about it 26 years later.

When I was pregnant with my first, I made the mistake of only wanting "positive" stories so that when I ended up with an emcs, I felt like a failure and ended up with PTSD.

Thankfully, I learned a vital lesson. "Positive" doesn't necessarily mean natural and actually my second pregnancy was another emcs and I laughed and smiled throughout. I couldn't prevent the cs either time. They saved my babies' lives. What I could prevent was characterising birth as good or bad. Or dismissing people's stories as "horror" stories.

Childbirth will probably hurt, will likely not be what you expect and will certainly not be something you can control. You can, however, be prepared. Decide what you'll do if things slow down or don't progress. What if they suggest forceps or ventouse? What do you want to happen if you do end up with a cs? Still want skin to skin? To find out the sex yourself? Music on? Curtains lowered to see the moment of birth?

The biggest factor for most women with feeling positive about their deliveries ime, is them feeling listened to and supported. Make sure your birth partner can advocate for you and keep an open mind.

Congratulations!

I was discharged 12hrs after my first cs. With both, I was up and about within a couple of hours and able to care for my babies easily. I didn't need painkillers with my second and was doing a school run after 4 days.

You just have to listen to your body. It's no different to a natural delivery in that respect. Some have longer recoveries than others, but having been on a cs bay twice now, largely the Mums were up and about and just fine.

Ah this is lovely, thank you for sharing xx

This is very true re; mindset. I think from the looks of the hypnobirthing recommendations and what I have read so far on trying to keep calm/relaxed to help with contractions etc it is definitely ringing true! Also the language used is exactly how my brain is probably sorting it into 'good and bad' rather than what works for one person, might not work for others etc. Thank you for your perspective xx

I had two pretty good births - one in water which was brilliant. That’s not to say there wasn’t pain, there was, it was incredibly intense, but it was manageable - did a lot of psychology techniques like thinking about contractions bringing my baby closer etc. I was in midwife centre so I could transfer to doctor based birth if needed to for health reasons or if I wanted pain relief but thankfully didn’t need to. I think it is incredibly scary because of all the difficult stories you hear but people do it again. There’s lots of second/third/fourth children about! Best of luck!

Wow! I have never heard that at all! In my NCT the vaginal births were the most horrific and had lasting pain (obviously anecdotal). So much so the three that had their second within 2yrs opted for an elective.

They encourage you to get up and about as soon as poss after c section to reduce risk of blood clots.

Personally, I had C-section first time, then vbac (vag birth after c section) second. Much preferred vaginal birth over all for the quicker recovery time and hormones straight after. The actual pushing the baby bit out was hard but I couldn't believe I could just get up into the shower after.

I did Active Birth yoga classes which were amazing. The affirmations we did, at the end of class about how women have done this for millennia and your body will guide you. It gave me such a positive mindset, two vaginal births that had their challenges but I was able to manage due to the yoga. Birth is painful, messy, unpredictable and we can only control bits of it.

Going into it relaxed, resigned to what May happen was what did it for me. If we're scared then pain is worse. My body told me to lie on my side, I did. I kept telling myself to relax and go with it.

I'm not a hippy type at all, but cannot recommend this enough.

I had my one and only so far at home, I hired a private midwife to facilitate having her at home as I live in an area where this wouldn't have been supported (no medical reason, I am low dependency)

I would say read a lot, listen to the Birth Ed podcast, it's sooooo good.

I'm quite a stressy person, but determined, the one thing I'd have changed was I wish I'd done more breath work because I struggled to relax through the contractions until I got into the birthing pool. Really recommend water too btw.

I'm pregnant again now and I'm not afraid of birth at all, I am afraid of the hospital and unnecessary intervention. That genuinely frightens me.