Due July 2024 - part 4

[Oatmilktea]

The other thread was filling up so thought I would set up a new one!

@Sophie3003
@ceruleansky
@Amberellaella
@wannabe123
@glasshalffull0
@Morningcoffeeaddict
@missmoosh
@Jess725
@AnonymousXXIX
@Busyhedgehog
@Nocoffeenotalkie
@justanotherlaura
@Honeymint
@Savvy21
@hopingfor23
@chilliflakesmum
@ExpectantEs
@AimeeLou84
@Welshgal85
@TooHappyToday
@Bali200

I’ve tagged people from the last few pages of the previous thread, hopefully everyone makes there way over here when the other one fills up!

@ceruleansky are you in the UK? If so, I've just booked my ELCS at 36 weeks so you still have time. My consultant booked me in for a growth scan at 36 weeks which swayed my decision - his head size is quite big. Is this something that might help?
If you have a fear of vaginal birth then that's reason enough to go ELCS.

@Savvy21
I'm not, but I'm getting scanned each week to check the position, weight, etc. And baby is already head down.
I see, yeah, that's a fair reason too.. I should probably ask about the size of the head.
I don't know why I have so many questions but blank out when I have my hospital visits or I feel like my questions are silly and wasting their time.
Hmm, I am 99% sure about my decision. I'm just trying to understand if I'm getting myself into any sort of unnecessary risk. I also don't plan to have more kids so I'm not thinking about uterine rupture right now for future pregnancies. But idk if there's anything else..

@ceruleansky personally I would rather have at least tried a vaginal birth last time (if circumstances allow). That is what I am going to try for this time and my midwife said to me if I go into labour then I may as well try it which I think is the right way for me. Decisions on induction and caesarean should you want one don't need to be made until the end and then you could assess then if either of those are what you want. I personally found recovery after a caesarean really hard, I was in a lot of pain and struggled to get around and do things for a long time. Also for me I would like to at least try at vaginal birth if possible. I do have the consideration that this is second baby.

@ceruleansky I had a c-section last time because of a breech baby and am hoping for a VBAC this time. The actual operation/pain levels were fine. I found the recovery really long. I struggled to stand up while holding the baby for quite a few weeks. I was lucky my husband could be off for 4 weeks (using leave) because I would have really struggled to be on my own after only 2 weeks.
If they're pushing for an induction and you are not sure why, look up BRAIN as to how to question the doctors about it. Also, you can always refuse an induction if you would rather wait for spontaneous labour.

@AnonymousXXIX I agree about the gap in employment. In the NHS they dont care especially if they see the reason was due to childcare etc. Especially if previously you were highly skilled.
I an a FTSH not worked in 4 years now. But I wish they allowed DH to have at least 6/8 weeks of Mat leave as he has technically earned it.
He has used 2 weeks A/L already 1 weeks for family function and another for our baby moon. So he has 19days left to last until April next year. 😖 and he wants to go see his father abroad who is very unwell.

This monkey is very low down my Midwife apt yesterday she felt him in my pelvis. I am able to feel his butt and back and foot as he liies to stick it out where my stomach is!!! My bladder is killing me his head is resting on it. I didnt feel like this until much later with DS1. I still have another 5 weeks to go aghhhhhh

@ceruleansky have you had any support from anyone to talk about your fear of a vaginal birth? My inclination would be that you need a few sessions with a professional to talk it through, so you can feel confident in your decision whichever way you go.

There's lots of different ways to have a vaginal birth btw, so if the fear is pain, then get an early epidural! Everyone always feels like they have to justify it (oh I was so tired I had to, etc.) but it's honestly a really sensible option to manage the whole process calmly. Likewise, a lot of women nowadays talk about not wanting checks or monitoring so they can labour in their own bubble - but if you feel very concerned something might happen to baby for whatever reason then you can request all the monitoring you like. Ask specific questions, like, what position are they in, is the heartrate still good. The doctors/midwifes will put your mind at ease.

I tell myself this too, because I would love one of those low intervention water births, but if that's not making me feel comfortable in the moment, then I know I have options!

In other news, I only slept from 1am till 6am last night because of pregnancy insomnia and leg cramps, despite it being the first night in over a week that my toddler slept through the night again😭We're getting to that fun stage of pregnancy now...

@ceruleansky see I am the opposite I would much rather be induced than have a c section! But recovery from a c-section is what I am most worried about with my health conditions. So be interesting to see what others say about there experiences of that too!

@AnonymousXXIX have you tried Magnesium + zinc supplement for insomnia and legs cramps? That works a treat plus loads say Epsom salt bath is great for leg cramps. 🤞🏽

My DS has startes to wake up in the night and needa a cuddle aaaaaand he has started toilet regression!!! Already!!!!! People warned me it would happen but didn't think it would start now. 😖

We had a lovely babymoon. DS was good as gold and loved going to the beach everyday all day. It was hard with the travel for me needing to pee all the time it was 5hrs!

In regards to C section and intervention I am really against it unless medically necessary becuase of complications plus recovery. We have no family or friends near by so it would be awful postpartum to deal with a baby plus a toddler alone 😖

Those worried about breach babies. Please check out 2. Their videos are science based and proven to work.

@MixedCouple2 oh yes, I take magnesium before going to bed every night! It's really helped so far. I wonder if dehydration played a role (I get a bit scared to drink a lot at night because then I have to get up to wee a million times, which wakes up my toddler who is super sensitive to sound). Might try a bath this afternoon if I have time.

My 2.5 year old toddler is currently refusing potty and toilet as well, driving me up the wall! We had lots of success to it prior to age 2 (we weren't training, just asked for the toilet, so why not!). But it's gotten worse and worse the last 6 months to the point where I am having to stock up on bigger nappies now 😭(We use cloth nappies so I had hoped we were on the final size!)

@ceruleansky For contrast on c-section recovery - while not elective, although it was about 24 hours after they decided I needed one so none of the running and alarms in the middle of the night that can come with an emergency, my c-section was a really good experience and I had no issues with recovery after the first couple of days. DS1 was in nicu for 8 weeks so I wasn’t having to look after him at home but did mean lots of walking between wards to get to him everyday and you still do all the nappy changes and feeding etc in nicu so I was doing things for him.

I’m having another section this time around and I’m happy with that choice and don’t feel like I’m missing out on a vaginal birth at all.

@Morningcoffeeaddict how did you find not being able to lift things after the c section? My DH is only off for 2 weeks and it may not even be that as he is currently applying for a new job! So with the not being able to lift the pushchair etc it would be such a struggle! I really don’t like people in my space either so wouldn’t want family to stay to help 😂

@missmoosh - I was in hospital for two weeks after he was born to be honest so I didn’t really have to lift anything. We transferred hospital about a week after he was born and I carried my hospital bags out to the car then (covid so DH couldn’t come in to help) and that was fine but didn’t have to worry about pushchairs. Although because you can’t drive either, in my case, I’d just be pushing the pushchair around (we keep it on the ground floor) and wouldn’t need to lift it anywhere that I can think of until it’s ok to do so anyway.

@missmoosh it felt like a long time before I could do anything let alone lift and you cannot lift anything heavier than your baby for 6 weeks so certainly no lifting pushchairs etc. Last time my mum came to help as no way I could have been left.

@missmoosh - my DH is self employed and baby is due at his busy time so will only have a week off. I was thinking about getting a postpartum doula come for a little bit each week for some help because I think I’d murder my mother if she came to stay. DH thinks it’s “excessive” but that’s easy to say when you’re the one going to work and not having had surgery looking after two children

Dooooo it @Morningcoffeeaddict you need to be able to properly recover!

I’m the same as you @missmoosh, the prospect of induction doesn’t phase me (in fact I’m quite excited that I might get to have one next week) but I hate the thought of a cs…

I think the best thing to do is follow your instinct and push for your choice. If you’re worried then it is not going to go well - regardless of which option you choose!

I note that I am also firmly on Team Epidural ☺️

Thanks for everyone’s inputs there! I think it solidified more or me I don’t want a c section unless it’s an emergency!

@Amberellaella yes I too am team epidural, my mind changed on that lol! I’m seeing consultant next week, so am trying to do as much research as possible around all of it. I’m really struggling with my health stuff and being pregnant, to the point I’m only really awake for around 6-8 hours a day now! And am only of any use to the world for a couple of those if at all! So I was going to ask about being induced a week or two early (but no earlier than 38 weeks), before I end up totally bed bound and in flare up with a newborn!

@Amberellaella - I am very tempted!!

I’m team do whatever feels more comfortable for you - I think you get good/bad stories from all types of births so as long as you’re feeling like you’re being listened to and your preferences are taken into consideration (plus baby is safe) that’s the main thing ❤️

Thanks for your inputs, I think it's safe to say that people have had good/ bad experiences with both procedures so I'm going to get all my doubts cleared this weekend and try to decide which way to go!

@AnonymousXXIX
I do want to ask about the epidural. It's not just fear of the pain, it's a lot of things, post delivery complications, tears (Ive already suffered from fissures) uterine prolapse, incontinence, etc etc.. plus for me, even being intimate hurts (even before pregnancy) and all the fertility treatments were so invasive with internal scans every other day, so I just want to stay the hell away from that area. I think I'm traumatized tbh!

@Morningcoffeeaddict
Yeah I don't feel like I'm missing out on the vaginal birth experience at all.. I think I'd just like a planned and controlled delivery. Glad that you recovered well.

The worst part is I have to climb 2 flights of stairs once I'm home. Not sure how I'll do that after a c section. 😅

@ceruleansky - stairs I’m told are easier if you tackle them side on initially. No idea if there’s any truth in this, I don’t remember needing to do any stairs during the 10 days I was in hospital and then by that point when I went home they weren’t an issue as I was already pretty mobile by then.

your experiences sound like a lot, genuinely go with whatever makes you feel more comfortable. Can confirm that apart from checking my bleeding after the first few hours (which was just a quick look at the pad I was using rather than actually me) and removing the catheter (they just pull on the tube and it’s uncomfortable but not painful) no one had any need to be in that area after my section if it’s something that worries you.

@Morningcoffeeaddict
I've heard the same, quite frankly, I think it would be impossible to climb them the regular way..

Thank you for understanding..
Helps to know that there's not much going on there. I know recovery will be hard, but I've seen a lot of my friends recover from a c section so I know I can endure it and I'll have support at home with DH, mum and MIL with me.

I had a section with my middle child and the reason I prefer vaginal delivery is that the scar ruins your stomach and you have more chance of diastasis recti (separation of the stomach muscles) - so that's from a vanity perspective (unless your getting a tummy tuck afterwards!).
The recovery is also, in my experience, harder after a section.
I've found that stairs are painful no matter what type of birth you have - lots of bruising either way.

@Cherubs4 - that’s interesting (also from a vanity perspective). I didn’t have DR post section and my scar was always pretty flat, but I also didn’t have a third trimester so that may have been why. I’m having the same surgeon this time so will find out if the lovely neat scar was her doing or because I had a tiny baby 😂

@ceruleansky - however baby comes it’s good to know you have lots of support!

@Morningcoffeeaddict it may indeed have a lot to do with bump size - for me there was a lot of scar tissue build up behind the top scar. Please let us know what your surgeon says about technique, I'd be very curious to know

@AnonymousXXIX somwtimea Muscle cramps can be caused by low calcium to. If your not having enough in the diet as baby is taking from you. Literally from your stores - bones! But Calcium is needed for muscle contractions (ATP)

Omg not you to. We have 0 accidents for 6 months and he started to have more dry nights. But thats all undone 😖 I am trying to keep up the routine and take him often. I don't want to go back to pull ups as he may get used to it. I qas so looking forward to him trained and only dealing with changing baby nappies. 😭

@ceruleansky as long as you have made an informed decision about what's you want. Knowing pros and cons and you give your consent. I do have 2 friends who refused to have vaginal and wanted C-sections despite the recovery. So it really is what you want. Either way.