Honest experience of childbirth

[BumbleAw]

Honestly speaking, exactly how painful was it? Have you experienced anything that's hurt more?
What was worse, contractions or pushing?

I'm currently pregnant with my first and expecting it to be the worst, most painful, experience ever, just wondering if that's about right.

Contractions, but they were all in my back and that was with induction which iv heard makes it more intense. Pushing wasn't that bad, except the sting at the end 😣
It's really not that bad, once it starts your body just takes over and you go with the flow. Good luck

With my first absolutely yes worst pain of my life beyond what I could have imagined, actually begged my husband to kill me and meant it 😂 second, fine, very painful as I was contracting but manageable and didn’t go beyond very painful. I think it is down to chance, my first had a 97th centile head, he was back to back, there was no break in between contractions just one long one for hours and I pushed for two hours when I wasnt fully dilated. Second had a 50th centile head, normal presentation, standard contractions with a break in between them to recover and out in five controlled pushes, totally magical experience! I was stubborn about pain relief though and refused any, don’t be me you don’t get a medal for it, take the epidural if you need it!

Honestly, no matter what people say to you in advance and even with a good imagination, childbirth pains are like no other bodily pains I've experienced. It's just different, surreal. Good luck with your pregnancy and birth, a whole new chapter in your life

I'm not going to lie, yes it's painful and in the moment, you feel like it's the worst thing ever.... BUT I've been through it twice and both times I felt like a rock star after. It's the most amazing feeling of relief once the baby is out and you instantly forget about the pain. I had severe toothache a few years back and I never, ever want to go through that pain again but I would go through labour again if I had to.

Obviously all women are different and I guess I'm one of the luckier ones that had two fairly smooth births. I know some women have an absolutely horrendous time in childbirth so it's not easy to "compare" experiences. For me, contractions and the build up to 10cm was much worse than the actual pushing part as all I felt at that point was relief. Good luck with everything though and try not to let the thought of labour worry you because as I said, everyone is different and have different experiences ❤️

Found the contractions manageable, could breathe through them and found the gas and air and the pool helpful for the later stronger ones. Not going to lie to you - the part where you have contractions and pushing does really hurt but you know at that point that the baby is coming and you are right at the end.

If you’re worried you could always choose to have an epidural - I had one with my first and it was pain free. The downside of that is the lack of being able to move much and increased risk of intervention (I think I read) .

I found my recovery much much easier with my water birth though and went home quickly after so it’s swings and roundabouts!

Yes thats exactly right but by the time your baby arrives you will probably be so uncomfortable you will be desperate to get it over with!

With my first I thought I was going to die, it was so painful. But he was delivered within 20 minutes so it didn't last long! With my second, it was fairly painful but only for a few minutes, he was delivered 1 minute after we got into the hospital room. So really not too bad at all!

Unbelievable pain. The only thing I've had that came anywhere close (since) was a gallbladder attack, but it wasn't quite as bad, lasted a lot less long and there was no recovery period afterwards. It also didn't give me a lovely baby though!

For me contractions were worse than the pushing. If I had known that I think it would have helped. Someone said to me "when you feel the ring of fire you know you are almost done"
Valuable advice. Contractions though horrendous. Just know you will get through it

It was NOWHERE near as bad as I expected. Pushing pain feels similar to this, but down there, if you open your mouth as wide as you can hook your fingers in each side of your mouth and stretch out the way. That's the type of stinging. Mine were all very quick, 1hr 10, 45 and 25 mins. You should do hypnobirthing if you're really worried ,it supposedly really helps. I started drinking raspberry leaf tea when its safe and think it helped speed my births up, minimise bleeding and bring milk in quickly. Also tell your midwife to really guide you when to push and when not to as you want to try minimise tearing. My mum always said to me, if it was really that bad people wouldn't have multiple children. Good luck, it's not like any other pain, with each one you know you're closer to meeting your baby.

Worst experience of my life

I refuse to ever do contractions again, ever

First delivery was horrific, second one as easy as pie
Every person feels it differently, and each pregnancy is different, so it's hard to plan or prepare.

I was very lucky.

Only my second was truly awful in terms of pain.

The other three births (including twins) were variable pain wise, but manageable (one was embarrassingly easy). I only had pain relief with the first.

I got a lot of strong Braxton Hicks with every pregnancy and have a theory that this may lead to a fast straightforward birth.

I've never had a high pain threshold particularly, but it was pretty terrible pain wise. I think of it like a tooth ache. Horrible while it's happening but quite forgettable once you've had the treatment. One main difference - it has a point. You endure it and then they put a lovely little baby in your arms and it's genuinely the most worth it pain you'll experience.

Best wishes for a comfortable pregnancy and a safe birth, OP.

Honestly I’d do it again tomorrow
its a pain like no other but I can’t describe it - it’s gone the minute you have the baby. two natural deliveries with gas and air

my ruptured disc and nerve pain was a million times worse

don’t dread it. It will happen and you’ll be ok

I won't lie, it was extremely painful. I was expecting it, obviously. But once it happens, it really did surprise me with the intensity of it. I think possibly not just because it was painful but because it's such a physical sensation with the contractions. I literally felt my belly shoving itself around.

Crowning was the absolute worst part but didn't last very long.

I have been in worse pain from other things so it's not the most painful thing I've been through. And with labour, you know it's going to be over so it's mentally easier to grit your teeth and get on with.

I definitely wouldn't call it the worst experience of my life. It was quite interesting, actually. Felt like I'd been through a crazy experience, rather than horrible. More like abseiling than breaking a leg in how exhilarating it was.

To be honest, being heavily pregnant for months on end was worse. It's such an uncomfortable chore feeling like you're going to burst.

Yes I always think this too. I had a tooth infection a few years before I gave birth the first time and it was totally unbearable. Birth was hard, extremely painful but it's different somehow and felt like I could cope with it. For me, contractions felt like period pains to start with and slowly ramped up.

I had a few sessions learning about the physiology of birth eg what hormones are released, when, and how they affect your pain levels. I think that really helped me understand the breathing techniques.

Oxytocin is a natural pain reliever, released when you're feeling calm, loved, safe etc and it is the hormone that starts contractions. Adrenaline blocks oxytocin production and so feeling scared/stressed can both slow down labour and make it more painful. The long slow breathing is so key.

I've done it twice and would do it again!

Best of luck op.

www.lucyflow.com. Complete birth prep programme highly recommend. I decided to get an epidural both times (a decision I don't regret) but found this helpful for understanding my options, feeling more positive prior to the birth and for optimal breathing during labour. Good luck it is a tough experience but there is nothing like the joy of a new baby 😍

The only bit I found truly awful was when they pull the baby's body out. The sensation was just horrible 🥴😩😂

Oh, and I've had dry-socket tooth pain after having a wisdom tooth out. Would give birth any day rather than that again.

Try not to worry. You can't know in advance how it will be, but you can make plans to make it easier to deal with.

I expected it to be painful and it was indeed.
My birth plan was to have an epidural as I was so scared of the pain.

However covid just happened and I got sent home to labour as I was only 2cm...I went back to the hospital begging them to 'cut him out I can't take it anymore' and I was unknowingly 10cm and going through transition. The ring of fire hurt like hell too.

HOWEVER I managed to do it all on my own with no pain relief, all 36 hours of labour. So whilst it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, it was also not impossible and the adrenaline gets you through

Felt like superwoman for months after too!

expecting it to be the worst, most painful, experience ever, just wondering if that's about right.

No.

Not because it's not painful. It is.

But because it's a very different pain than you can imagine beforehand. So there is really no point in trying to imagine, and give time to anticipating it.

I'm not into all that visualisation / manifesting stuff. But I expected to have a copable labour, and that I'd make decisions around pain relief at the time.

It's luck, but I'd a straightforward, relatively short birth, found gas & air helpful, and genuinely found it a positive experience. Of course, it's not like that for everyone.

Think positively, be open to change, don't place arbitrary restrictions on yourself (like rigid birth plans or no epidural) and you give yourself a better chance of a labour that meets your expectations, notwithstanding medical emergency and what the baby decides to do!

(My 1st & 2nd labours were fine; my 3rd was very quick but very very hard & painful. You really can't tell!)

It’s different for everyone OP and depends on so many things, your own physiology, position of the baby etc. can you talk to your midwife about pain relief options? There’s always epidural if you’re anxious about pain. Personally I was fine with (lots of) gas and air and being in the pool (to begin with). It was the most intense physical sensation I’ve ever experienced but I wouldn’t necessarily categorise it as pain. There is also a purpose to it and you know it is a temporary situation. I do have a fairly high pain threshold I think and it was a relatively straightforward birth but not without interventions. You can also look into hypnobirthing for help in dealing with anxiety around the pain and breathing techniques to help you through it but ignore the ‘breath the baby out’ bollocks as you do need to push!

OP you're going to get a hell of a lot of answers, but remember pain is subjective.

Do your research about breathing techniques, hypnobirthing, these things are tools you can use.

I really recommend the Birth Ed course, she has free podcasts as well.

Birth itself is not a frightening thing, but you need to be prepared you can't just go into it blind nowadays

I found the contractors very painful personally, but I struggled to relax until I got into the pool, once I got in my muscles relaxed and it was no longer particularly painful. Pushing didn't hurt at all, it was the best part!!

For me it was genuinely not that bad. I've had a kidney infection that was agony in comparison.
I found the contractions very manageable, lost it a bit during the pushing stage, not entirely due to pain but more just the feeling that a thing the size of a baby couldn't possibly come out of me. Swore a lot at that point 😆 and then she was born.
My friend found the pushing part a relief compared to the contractions, so all births are different. Unfortunately you don't know how it will be until you get there.
Assuming it will be the worst pain ever is likely to make it worse in my opinion.

DC1 yes it was sore but manageable. TBF I did wonder why some people complained so much. They were early but other than that a textbook labour. Lots of resting in-between contractions.

DC2. Worst pain of my life. Constant pain in my groin, back and belly for hours. Never let up. Staff kept fobbing me off when I asked for the epidural. Until I told them I wouldn't be opening my legs for any more internals, then said I was going to jump out the window to make the pain stop.

On reflection the main problem with DC2 was the lack of communication. He was back to back and no one told me that was what was going on or explained that it's a more painful experience until after he was born.

I think I got in such distress because I couldn't understand why the pain was so extreme and I thought something was wrong and they just kept dismissing me saying I was fine and every birth is different.