Honest experience of childbirth

[BumbleAw]

Honestly speaking, exactly how painful was it? Have you experienced anything that's hurt more?
What was worse, contractions or pushing?

I'm currently pregnant with my first and expecting it to be the worst, most painful, experience ever, just wondering if that's about right.

That's how I felt. Like my body was fighting against me or hurting me on purpose. It all felt very cold and merciless and like I wasn't going to survive it (and I hoped I wouldn't!).It was more horrendous than I could have imagined.

However, i had 2 more children after the initial induction to childbirth, so there must be some magic in there somewhere.

My experience is that birth wasn't the worst pain I had. Gallbladder attacks and post surgery recovery which to be honest had complications was.

Births were calm, I had a wonderful midwife's on both occasions. Pain was probably more difficult at the beginning of each birth because it can catch you unaware and it can take a bit of time to get your head in the right place.

I remember the midwife telling me, look at the clock and remember that at this time tomorrow I would be holding my baby.

Labour is hard work, your head space and supports are in my opinion key. I did have some pain relief, there is no prize not to.

I would recommend be informed, use reliable resources. Have a well informed and well briefed birth partner. Remember no matter what happens pain relief, c section.etc that success is healthy baby and mammy. Wishing you a happy pregnancy x

I found it a different type of pain. It's not like a stabbing pain or tooth/ear pain which can be really excruciating. More like really bad period pains/cramps, and it comes in waves so it builds up then you know when it's at the peak and it wears off again. I did both of mine on gas and air only and I'm completely no martyr, I would have taken something stronger if I had needed it, but I found that really took the edge off.

2 births. Second one was in a pool and was amazing. Yes it hurt but if you just focus on what is happening your body will just do what it needs to do.

Worse than childbirth gallstones is the worst pain ever, I would rather have child birth pain every day for the rest of my life than ever have gallstone pain ever again. Also a dislocated ankle was in and out of consciousness because of the pain.

I remember thinking 'what sort of periods do these people get!!!!'

Dc1 I had a show, then contractions started about an hour later, went to hospital and he was born two hours later. 2 pushes and he was out. I did tear and the stitches was 100 times worse than the birth. Show to birth 3 hours.

Dc2, I had a show and contractions started 30 minutes later, got to hospital and he was born 40 minutes later, after 2 pushes. Show to birth 1 hour 40 minutes.

Just gas and air on both.

I’m also expecting my first and my approach in blind denial 😹 how bad can it be if people have more than 1?!

The profound joy of having children makes the pain worthwhile. The day after my first was born, I said I'd never have another. The midwife said 'see you in two years'.

And there I was, 2 years and 4 months later!

It hurt, yes. But at the point where I felt I couldn't cope with the pain anymore I was fully dilated. And then once you start pushing it's actually a lot less painful (apart from the tearing; 0/10 do not recommend).
I did do pregnancy yoga which prepared me well and taught things like best positions, how to count through contractions to cope with it etc.

I will also say I went from 2cm to 10cm in under 4 hours, my contractions were just non-stop and I had zero pain relief (the hospital sent me home when we first when in at 2cm as "it would take hours and hours if not days yet", and then when I went back in 3hrs later I was fully dilated and too late for pain relief).

My top tips would be:
Do pregnancy yoga or some other physical birth prep
Listen to your body - we actually called the hospital before going in the 2nd time, triage told us to stay at home as it had only been 3 hours and basically I was deluded if I thought I was anywhere near giving birth - I told DH fuck that we're going anyway and thank god we did as I would have had DD at home
Get your birth partner to advocate for you
Be flexible as your birth plan might go out of the window
Get the injection for 3rd stage, I didn't at first as it was all natural up to that point so I thought it was pointless, however 3rd stage ended up taking over an hour and I ended up with the injection anyway. My contractions were back with a vengeance that whole hour and I felt in too much pain to concentrate on DD. Next time I'd want to make that 3rd stage as quick as possible with the injection

It's also the most amazing thing ever and I felt like superwoman the next day. Good luck OP.

I had my first 12 weeks ago. I tried not to think about the birth because tbh I was scared and figured it would be the most painful think every but at least it would only be like a day or something. I planned to get an epidural only once the pain got too much.

Anyway turns out for me it was no problem, by the time I got to the hospital (convinced they were practice contractions as I thought they weren't painful enough to be real) I was already 6cm. Yes as they continued they were painful, but in between contractions you feel totally normal and not in pain at all. Never as bad as the time I epilated my underarms - I will NEVER do that again. Anyway I never got round to having any pain relief at all as we got to pushing without it reaching the pain level I had expected

The pushing was tiring and painful, but l never felt it was too much. I didn't feel the ring of fire people talk about, but I had been practicing using an aniball - this I highly recommend and I didn't tear at all and I put it all down to the aniball. I imagine this is also why the pain of pushing was manageable.

Yes. That’s about right.

I was passing out with the contractions,. It was awful!

Labour was long and hard! Not painful as I was on gas and air but HARD work.

well, I’m doing it again soon… praying it’ll be easier 🤣🤣

tbh, some people have it so easy. I had a very traumatic experience. Just make sure your birthing partner fights for what you want- don’t let the consultants push you into anything.

after care is so important too.

I only got to 3cm before needing EMCS for DC1 but even at that early stage, i’d describe it as bad period pains COMBINED with a bad version of the bad cramps you get just before diarrhoea.

Bloody horrendous, every minute of it. I had 2 contractions back to back at one point and then projectile vomited everywhere.

I've had a tooth abcess that was worse than labour though 🤷‍♀️

I had induced back labour so two factors that generally make it more painful. I also had back to back contractions as my body tried to turn the baby so no real break. I managed on gas and air and paracetamol. I did ask for an epidural but the baby came before the anaesthetist. If I'd have a very long labour then I might not have coped so well.

I was sceptical but I found hypnobirthing really helpful.

It is painful but it is time limited. And I don't remember pushing to be painful, more really hard work.

I keep hearing your second is much easier.

im not sure if this is a trick to get you to do it again, after which everyone you know with 2+ will admit it’s as bad

Contractions were painful but never unbearable, pushing was immensely satisfying!

1st time I had no pain relief and second time I had gas and air. I am now looking into training to be a midwife!

Birth doesn't have to be horrible! Surround yourself with positive birth stories and education. Knowledge is power and will enable you to advocate for yourself which is so important. I love the positive birth story podcast. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

First baby - if I'd had a gun I would have shot myself.

Second baby - fucking painful but over quicker than expected

Get an epidural!! Why wouldn’t you? They’re magical. Pain-free childbirth, yes please 😂
People are crazy to go through all the pain for no reason.

Your first sounds exactly like mine was. The drip, the unmanageable pain, the feeling of being out of control. The failed epidural. The emergency section. The surprisingly quick recovery.

If you hadn't mentioned that you'd had a second one, I'd have thought you were me!!

I’m hoping so but I don’t have too much confidence in what people say.

everyone told me it was the best experience of their lives. It wasn’t for me.
it was so traumatic and I’m generally good with pain.
you have no bloody control over those contractions!

I’ve been offered c section if I want it due to what I went through but I don’t want to be out of action for weeks, especially as I want to get back to my toddler ASAP!

I had one and it didn't work!

I remember my contractions starting with my second. It was familiar so I knew what they were. But you can’t really remember pain. I do remember not having any control over pushing with my second and that was a bit scary. Birth is amazing.
ETA I recommend an epidural, it was bliss with my first. With my second it was a bit late (I was only 3cm but fairly certain I was in transition) and wasn’t cited properly so it failed. I panicked because I hadn’t considered it wouldn’t work. I was 8cm when my body took over and DS was born 14 minutes later.

Speaking as someone who is terrified of hospitals, and of giving birth - it was fine! And I was induced (which everyone tells you is the worst, but for me it was absolutely fine). Managed to 7cm with no pain relief (not out of choice!) but it was very manageable- like bad period pains honestly. Then did the rest with gas and air.

Everyone has different experiences and it’s a bit of luck too. But honestly don’t worry- just be flexible with your birth plan and have someone to advocate for you too. Good luck :)

I would have loved an epidural but the hospital sent me home and told me to "go to sleep, this will take 24hrs or so yet". Then when I went back just 3 hours later I was fully dilated and too late for one.

First was back to back and I loved being in the water while I was in labour. Honestly I was in a different zone between the hot water and gas and air. Very calm. Had to get out to push and yes, indescribable pain but immediately forgotten about. Second was born in the water 10 mins after arriving at birth centre. Sore, yes, but one push!