To 'miss out' on a vaginal birth?

[dancingqueen345]

I had an emergency c-section with my first, only got to about 3cm but was in so much pain and couldn't have imagined going through full birth. My recovery was great/easy and I now only have really positive feelings about my birth.

I'm pregnant with no2 (definitely our last) and I've found myself being really blasé about going straight for a planned c-section this time round, but just a tiny niggle of doubt is creeping in that I'll miss not having the experience of a vaginal birth!

Am I romanticising it?

I thought I had quite a high pain threshold before no.1 but now I'm not so sure. I'm also very aware I could end up in an emergency c-section again and I would definitely prefer a planned one over emergency.

Just looking for opinions/experiences please!

Go for the planned section. It'll save a lot of drama and waiting and pain.

I was in a similar situation to you with my first, though I had a challenging recovery too. Despite that, I knew I had no desire to put myself through an attempt at vaginal birth again and immediately decided that my next would be a planned section. It was wonderful - calm, organised, reassuring. And my recovery was so much faster the second time. I don't feel I missed out on anything, and any time I read about prolapses, tears, bladder damage etc, I just feel grateful! Good luck in making your choice.

Unless you are planning on having a few more babies I’d go for the c section.

@weaughteaughpeaugh yes the thought of all the things you've mentioned has crossed my mind!! Plus I already have the scar so think it might as well get a second use 😂

Yea you've not missed out on anything 😬

I had terrible birth injuries, including a 3rd bordering on 4th degree tear (2 holes became 1 basically) and required a catheter for about 2 months and still have nightmare flashbacks nearly 16 years later.

Sections are no picnic either. Giving birth either way sucks balls.

Vaginal births are massively overrated. Baby is here, that's literally all that matters!

You’re not missing out on much 😜 It’s painful, messy and you get the pleasure of the midwife massaging your stomach for ages afterwards which made me want to cry I think I might have done actually

im having similar thoughts! I thought the c section was fine (long failed induction, only got to 2cms) and I’ve healed really well.

Thinking about next birth I’m 99% sure I’m just going to go elective, but part of me wants to do the whole natural labour, water birth.

I think my decision will be absolutely no induction, book in for a c section and if baby comes of their own accord before c section date, great.

I do agree though, I have the scar and an intact vagina, may as well keep it that way!

Experience and opinion of vaginal birth both vary greatly. Some women really value theirs, others really don't, and everything inbetween. So I wouldn't base my decision on the possibility of missing out on an experience.

I had a VBAC. If I had my time again I wouldn’t.

I had both of my children by planned c/s. The first I was offered last minute because she was ‘breech and huge’ at 10 day late scan. The second I had to make a case for (12 years ago - I think it’s more of an available option now) but I did my reading and on balance I was put off VBAC because of the high rate of emergency c/s. I wanted it calm and planned and it was.

No problems with recovery or picking up/holding the baby either time

Having had 2 vaginal births, you're missing nothing.

I don't understand this romanticism around it.

Surely you just want a healthy baby and not some ridiculous mother-earth "experience".

Nope. Not missing a thing.

I’ve had an EMCS followed by a VBAC so I’ve done both. I don’t really feel any different about my birth experience, one wasn’t better than the other. They both had recovery challenges. Neither of them affected how I felt about my baby. Looking back with over 16 years of hindsight I would say how you give birth is one of the least important aspects of motherhood.

I don't think you'll be missing anything.

There is a satisfaction to the labour- a rightness about it. However the various problems that followed were less satisfying and I was exhausted.

We get a sense of satisfaction out of all sorts of labour- growing food, decorating, DIY. That doesn’t stop us paying someone else to do it, if we can!

Okay thank you all!! This is very helpful/reassuring.

I will just stop thinking about it for now and see how I'm feeling nearer the time!

I had an em-cs first time, planned for a VBAC 2nd time but plan was abandoned as baby was so late and they tend not to induce you once you’ve had a section. At the hospital I gave birth in, I think their approach to VBAC sets you up to fail anyway; you have to be in the Labour ward, rather than the more relaxed midwife unit, and have continuous fetal monitoring which means restricted movement. I wouldn’t have even bothered with a third if I’d had one, I’d have gone straight for a planned section. I don’t feel I’ve missed out, and the only person who did was my ex mother in law 🤣

And you always have the option of booking an ELCS at some point but then changing your mind later on, particularly if you go into labour first.

1000% agree with vaginal births being overrated. Two nine pounders later I can’t do any sport without peeing myself and sex will never be the same, everything is stretched beyond salvation. I’m aware I’ve been unlucky (probably) but I can obviously only speak for my own experience. Enjoy your intact vagina and sex life!

Mine was sucked out of me using a ventuse (spelling?).
I was on floaty drugs and gas and air.
I remember little of the whole thing. My husband remembers more.
I got a baby - that's the important part.

I am going against the grain here. I’ve had 3 births, 2 vaginal and 1 C section. Vaginal birth so much easier in terms of recovery, I think I underestimated the amount of time needed to recover from C section. With vaginal birth, I was back to normal in next to no time but with C section the recovery was long and hard and not being able to drive for weeks. Personally, I would go for a vaginal birth against major abdominal surgery every time.

I love this post! So well said and true😅

I had a c section first time round and had the same thoughts about missing out on a vaginal birth. I went for a VBAC with my second and don't regret it for a second. My section was fine, not traumatic and I recovered well but I'm glad I got to have a vaginal birth the second time round.

I’ve had EMCS followed by ELCS and couldn’t give a toss about ‘missing out’. Go for the ELCS :)

@Abovedeckdeck absolutely I understand that there's no guarantees of an 'easy' c-section again, and I'm absolutely certain my second won't be as plain sailing, I think it's more the idea of the vaginal birth over a c-section that I'm asking about rather than the ease of recovery!!