To 'miss out' on a vaginal birth?

[dancingqueen345]

I had an emergency c-section with my first, only got to about 3cm but was in so much pain and couldn't have imagined going through full birth. My recovery was great/easy and I now only have really positive feelings about my birth.

I'm pregnant with no2 (definitely our last) and I've found myself being really blasé about going straight for a planned c-section this time round, but just a tiny niggle of doubt is creeping in that I'll miss not having the experience of a vaginal birth!

Am I romanticising it?

I thought I had quite a high pain threshold before no.1 but now I'm not so sure. I'm also very aware I could end up in an emergency c-section again and I would definitely prefer a planned one over emergency.

Just looking for opinions/experiences please!

I’m 10 days postpartum. Had the balloon induction but none of the rest of the process as it just kick started everything and I was in labour that night.

Im really pleased I had a vaginal birth. Yes the stitches are uncomfortable and sitting down for the first 5 days was impossible due to thrombosed piles. I lost 1litre of blood, had ventouse episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear. I’m nervous things won’t heal, but I think I would personally have really struggled to recover from a C Section.

My mum had 2 sections, she does feel like she missed out not going into labour, and we’re now 31/24.

My first VB was bloody awful except for the eventual result obvs. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

my second was infinitely less awful but still excruciatingly painful and not a positive experience, apart from again the very end of it! I was then very poorly for quite a few hours after after and the postnatal care in nhs hospitals is awful (i’d hope better after c sections?)

my pelvic floor is totally ruined.

enjoy a planned c section I say.

I had an emcs after getting to 7 cm and then an unplanned vbac.
Had an episiotomy with the vbac, it was a hard labour with a long pushing stage but recovery was so much easier

Birth is bloody awful op and I feel society does seem to "make it seem to be the way we should all do it, the less is in relief the better" etc etc but it's messy, painful and often slow.
with dd1 I pushed for over an hour, after being in active labour for about 12 hours, 3rd degree tear. With dd2 her waters wouldn't burst so I literally couldn't get her out, midwife literally put her hand up me to burst them and she shot out, 2nd degree tear. Pelvic floor shot both times, it does come back but never the same.
However I totally understand you feeling like you want to try a vaginal birth, by all means a c section does not sound the easy option at all. Both are hard id say but I guess in different ways. Best to do what's right for your body and baby.
I wish you all the luck which ever way you choose to give birth 😁

I felt the same and insisted on a vaginal birth with twins.

Papers all signed should I need an emergency CS.

It was good. Legs weren’t swollen, could drive, could pick up my 2 year old etc.

Glad they gave me the option. Bless the midwife for insisting I could try!

I think you should try if that’s how you feel.

I had a VBAC a month ago. Recovery was amazing, I walked out of the hospital 4 hours later, could pick up my toddler. No pain post delivery. Hardly any bleeding. It's been a breeze.

However. I had a swift spontaneous vaginal birth with no tears and great care. Had it been different, I'd have wished I'd had another caesarean. Saying that, if I had a huge haemorrhage or a bladder or bowel injury during an elective caesarean, I'd potentially wish I'd tried a VBAC. The unpredictability makes it a very difficult decision.

My compromise was an elective at 40 weeks and VBAC if spontaneous labour

Following with interest as I’m also trying to decide. I got to 10cm dilated and 2hrs of pushing before I got taken for an EMCS. Had a 10-lber and similar to a PP no one seemed to know the baby would be so big. I’m leaning towards an elective; it’s a known quantity and although I feel like I’d like to “experience” vagjnal birth, when I think back and remember labour I think why on earth would I put myself through that again! At my hospital the VBAC success rate is 65%, which is below national average. And I’ve no reason to think this baby will be any smaller!

Im really pleased I had a vaginal birth. Yes the stitches are uncomfortable and sitting down for the first 5 days was impossible due to thrombosed piles. I lost 1litre of blood, had ventouse episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear

My C-section recoveries sound a breeze compared to all that. But then, they were a bit of a breeze anyway. I hardly bled either.

@dancingqueen345 thank you for writing this post! I'm pregnant with no 2 after an EMCS and having a lot of the same thoughts.

I had a GD, plus high blood pressure on no 1. So I was induced at 38 weeks, I was on a lot of insulin by this point so I was happy to go with what they thought was safest. 3 days of that and it ended in section anyway.

My sister had a EMCS that was 'proper blue lights' under general. She had a VBAC with her 2nd, the baby was a few days over due.

I have GD again this time, they had advised it will be safest most likely for me to have DC early. I've been told they can't induce the same way, but can break waters. IDK how much I think that'll work 2 weeks early.

I have been going along thinking I'll just book a section but also have that tiny niggle.

My recovery from the section wasn't too bad, but the whole experience was a bit wham bam. The lady in the bed next to me had an elective and said it was so chilled, she said her first had been an EMCS as well.

Ditto. Unplanned and avoidable vbac that ended in forceps delivery. Biggest regret. Took years to recover. Worst of both worlds.

Also have a family member who is a consultant obstetrician. With enough time between pregnancies (2 yrs) there is little concern. A consultant more likely to be called to supervise delivery for a 4th section or where pregnancies are too close together. Obviously everyone is different and it's not a hard and fast rule but I found it quite reassuring as hadn't decided whether to stop at 2 and didn't know if two csections would limit options / be more high risk for a third.

I had vaginal births and can say that they were important experiences for me, and I'm really grateful to have had them. They left me with a feeling of great self sufficiency and strength.

My home birth was great. I was euphoric afterwards for days. Felt like a queen.

Would add, that as someone with a higher risk pregnancy had to step outside the NHS to get a vaginal birth where I wasn't subject to a raft of interventions I didn't want.

Honestly look at current rate of intervention in birth and feel very happy I had my kids a couple of decades ago at a time when you didn't get 2/3rds of first births ending with emergency surgery/instruments, and where the health service wasn't intent on inducing absolutely everyone.

This is what I decided on. Then baby came early! Same horrific labour and ended up going for another section. Absolutely having an elective if have a third!

I had three good vaginal births (two of them with intervention and the other induced, so not the whole earth mother whale music experience by any means, but I still felt they were good) and am very glad I did, but I wouldn't say it's something you have to put yourself through if you're not keen on the idea because otherwise you'd 'miss out' - especially having had a previous positive experience with a section. I do think back to my births but it really is about having the baby and not the method.

I was the ideal candidate for a VBAC the second time around and I point blank refused to do it and banned anyone from mentioning the word in my presence.

I catagorically did not want to tear or have an episiotomy and the only way to guarantee that is by having an ELCS.

BTW

Those of you bandying around comments about 'earth mothers' and 'whale music' to mock other women's hopes for their vaginal birth, are as shitty as the people bandying around phrases like 'too posh to push'.

Just stop with the shitty tropes about birth. So unhelpful.

Not at all. I had 2 vaginal births and have had problems since the second, 3 years ago! If I could rewind time back I'd have an ELCS second time round.

This

I had 2 vaginal births, that’s just the way it worked out for me (very fast labour!). C section an equally valid method of giving birth IMO.

I had a very traumatic birth with my first daughter which was a vaginal birth. It was excruciatingly painful and I tore very badly. Myself and husband are considering a second child our first is now 10 so you can see it’s taken 10 years for me to even THINK about going through that again. In my opinion you are missing out on nothing except horrible pain! If I decide to get pregnant again I want a C-section. There is no way I am going through what I went through with my first again. Don’t get me wrong my daughter is my life and I adore her, but her birth was a horrendous experience. I was unlucky I guess as I have heard other women are fine. Good luck to you and beautiful baby whatever happens it’s all worth it. xxxx

Agreed !!!! Well said ! I was genuinely traumatised and experienced PTSD after my first birth. It was so awful I believed I was dying. I would never put myself through that again.

@AquaOtter I'm so sorry for what happened to you .

I know my own body and I just know that if I attempted a vaginal birth it would be a disaster. I found Braxton Hicks incredibly painful, so painful I couldn't move or talk when I had one, so there's no WAY I could have got through a vaginal birth without severe trauma. I found both my clusterfuck pregnancies traumatic enough.

@allfurcoatnoknickers thank you ! Exactly you do you ! Xx

I've never had a c section so can't compare but my births were amazing, not that painful and recovery was good. But everyone is different. I personally wouldn't have a c section unless I had to as the thought of an epidural scares me and the recovery, and having a huge scar. I guess it's just one of those things that you don't know until you do it. If you felt good about your last c section at least you know what it will hopefully be like again.

I’ve had 2 very quick vagina births - 2nd degree tears with both that luckily have healed quickly. Despite labour being less than 4 hours for both I still fell traumatised by the experience. I did lots of mindfulness before having my second and pregnancy yoga which made me very present in the room - but it’s so painful! If you’ve experienced labour , I’d say you haven’t missed anything. I personally hate the pushing part - I remember it so vividly for both births. And the recovery is probably different to a c-section, but nonetheless we have to recover.

Do what your baby and body needs. You arnt missing out on much and have experienced what you need to by facing labour x