To 'miss out' on a vaginal birth?

[dancingqueen345]

I had an emergency c-section with my first, only got to about 3cm but was in so much pain and couldn't have imagined going through full birth. My recovery was great/easy and I now only have really positive feelings about my birth.

I'm pregnant with no2 (definitely our last) and I've found myself being really blasé about going straight for a planned c-section this time round, but just a tiny niggle of doubt is creeping in that I'll miss not having the experience of a vaginal birth!

Am I romanticising it?

I thought I had quite a high pain threshold before no.1 but now I'm not so sure. I'm also very aware I could end up in an emergency c-section again and I would definitely prefer a planned one over emergency.

Just looking for opinions/experiences please!

I had a planned c-section and it was the best decision ever. No labour, in and out of hospital within 24 hours. What’s not to like?

I had a EMCS with my 1st and then opted for a VBAC for my 2nd. 2nd was such a long stressful labour, so looking back on it afterwards I always wish I had opted for a ELCS.

My first was an emergency c-section, I really wanted a natural birth, did lots of prep for it, body wouldn't cooperate. I was on the fence about a vbac with number 2, but when the same problems started happening during labour changed to a c-section. I wish I'd just gone straight to the c-section. Third was a planned c-section, definitely the best birth of the lot. I know someone though that did a vba2c, a vaginal birth after 2 c-sections, with a supportive OB and was really glad she'd gone for it. I do feel sad if I think about it sometimes, but I dont think my bodies good at giving birth so Im mostly just glad we have c-sections or my first might not have made it.

If you are considering the section get booked in. You can always cancel. But if you book early you'll be first on the list for the day. I found that great. Arrived at hospital at 7am baby delivered by 10am. I had DH on hand all day and then he got to go home and get our eldest and bring him in to meet his sibling. I wasn't knackered following labour and neither was DH. I managed perfectly well over night with DH at home. It was great being able to organise childcare etc. Recovery was fine.

I've never regretted having two electives, first was an emergency. Statistically I was unlikely to deliver naturally given situation with first birth and the size of my babies.

I have an incredibly low pain threshold and anxiety. I know c-sections are not without pain and problems, but a calm ELCS compared to potentially days of pain I know I will physically and mentally struggle with and my body being allowed to reach exhaustion, as well as taking into account the possible injuries? ELCS every time. I don't think vaginal birth is something I will feel I've missed out on if I never have one tbh.

I had an emergency at 9cm after 26 hours in labour, it was a general anaesthetic and all rather unpleasant but recovery was easy. The 2nd was a planned section, nice experience from start to finish and again an easy recovery. I don’t feel like I missed out at all and I would much rather have my belly stitched up than my hooha

I had a vaginal birth with a very painful and very long early labour and the pain at 3cm dilated wasn’t much better than the rest. It was definitely more painful but it didn’t continue on the same scale if you see what I mean. It’s like 3cm was 8 out of 10 pain and 10cm was 10/10. Pushing phase actually hurt less than the dilating.

I had vaginal births (3) but with loads of interventions and a lot of painful recovery. Trust me, you are not missing a thing. Healthy baby arriving safely is all that matters.

I also know someone who was scheduled a VBAC and it went disastrously wrong for both baby and mother. Absolutely worst case scenario and consequently I am now much jaded towards VBAC anyway.

Why was the midwife massaging your stomach? 3 kids and I've never had ad that

I disagree with others. I had an emergency section with my first then a VBAC and it was pretty magical. I hated my long early labour and had an epidural but I found the actual vaginal birth very healing after my first c section and the recovery was so so so so much easier. Like you I found my recovery after my section pretty straightforward (was in the pub a few days later) but the comparison between a section and vaginal recovery was like night and day. I really loved my VBAC and would recommend anyone who wants to try it to go for it.

I think, when you are at the stage of life where you have babies and small children and everyone is talking about things like this, it's possible to feel you missed out. (For me it's not vaginal birth, but successful breastfeeding.)
But years later, people simply don't talk about it a lot, you have other priorities, and it doesn't seem to matter!

Couldn't agree more.

1st baby was 9lb 9oz. Eventually born with forceps.

2nd baby was easier, another 9lb, but the damage was done.

My pelvic floor never recovered.

Absolutely no jumping, and coughing is a constant risk. I leak all the time and regularly use pads.

30 years of this now.

It's not worth it.

I had four vaginal homebirths and for the last two didn't use any pain relief. I found them positive experiences and although they obviously hurt I imagine I got the same kind of endorphin buzz people who like to push themselves in exercise get (I have never had the exercise buzz!).

For you however I'd be asking why you needed a C section the first time and if that is likely to happen again. If your experiences last time will make you anxious about natural birth then it may be more stressful than an elective C Section. If there is no likelihood of the same thing happening next time and you think giving birth vaginally is a positive thing for you then it's something to consider.

I do agree though, I have the scar and an intact vagina, may as well keep it that way!

100% this. Don't bugger up your vagina when your abdominal muscles are already buggered! Planned caesareans are great btw- so calm!

My SIL had an emergency c section with her first (went from home birth to blue lighted / EMCS) and she was obsessed with a VBAC with her second.

It honestly took over her whole pregnancy. She trawled websites, read medical papers and books, hired a doula, spoke to anyone and everyone she knew about their births. She ended up with a second EMCS, suffered PND and is still in therapy several years down the line.

I felt terrible for her. She felt like such a failure and the pressure she put on herself was insane.

I wish she'd just agreed to a planned section and saved herself so much angst and stress and sadness.

*SIL is very open about her issues and therapy and the "perfect birth" was part of wider issues but she fully admits a planned section would have been so much better for her.

This is an extreme case but the principle applies. Don't put yourself through any undue stress and upset to achieve a vaginal birth.

Oh my god. I'm due in 4 weeks and am now absolutely petrified.

I had x2 vaginal births without any pain relief (not for lack of begging and pleading!) and despite have a high pain threshold and keeping calm, advocating for myself and generally keeping it together, I was traumatised by both. It was the most agonising way of going about a shitty thing, that could have been avoided by having the C-section I was booked in for (went into early Labour and couldn’t then have it) and I never have any real thoughts, now I have big kids, about the way in which they got here.

I had another one with epidural, which was great in terms of I felt like I could engage with the birthing process, and was mentally more focused on the baby than the pain, but then had a terrible tear, which took a hell of a lot of painful aftercare and still doesn’t feel comfortable. Someone I used to go to school with was at the registry office when I was, baby same age. She’d had a C-section and was floating about looking lovely and moving freely. I couldn’t even sit down to sign the registration papers - I was in absolute agony. If I could go back in time and have all C-sections, I would.

Thing is, none of us will be getting medals for any of this shit. It makes no difference to your bond or to how your child feels about you or anything else. Do what you feel physically and mentally good about. I am a great believer in the mum’s mental and physical health trumping everything. Everything.

Ive done it all so you dont have to, OP!

Bottom line: only go for a vbac if you have a deep, deep desire for a vaginal birth. Otherwise, when youre going through the thick of it, you will be wishing that you'd opted out when you had the chance.

I had a vbac with my second child. I desperately wanted to experience vaginal birth and remember when the contractions were really kicking in, thinking 'I forgot how bad this was!!! What have I done???' I got my vbac, and glad I did, but did get birth injuries and needed a blood transfusion etc after it. Gosh, it was brutal actually.

Third baby was a planned c section.

My perspective is to get in to hospital, get the baby out as fast as possible in a way which avoids hours of contractions and pushing a human out of your vagina. Into theatre, baby out, hobble around for a few days then go home. A 'niggle' isn't enough to sustain your mental strength when going through a labour you don't have to, after a previously difficult birth.

I had vaginal birth with both my children (I have 2 under 2). If by missing out, you mean you would have missed out of tearing then for WEEKS feeling like Edward Scissorhands has been attacking your lady bits then spraying perfume on them every time you go to pee then yes, you're missing out .... go for the c-section.

The ONLY reason I didn't have a c-section the second time round is because I had a 16 month old toddler who can't yet get down stairs and needs to be carried. She weighs the same as a 2 and a half year old (she's not obese, she's like a mini Brienne of Tarth!) so I was concerned about the c-section recovery.

totallybonkerswarning oh no, I’m sorry I will have added to that! But this thread is basically about the negatives of vaginal birth over C-section, so it was going to be full of negative stories. If it helps at all, I’ve had lots of friends who have had genuinely positive experiences with vaginal birth, just unfortunately not me. Speak to your midwife about it if you’re feeling panicked.

Not at all. If i ever go through a pregnancy, i'd do everything i could to avoid natural birth, planned C section all the way.

I’ve had 3 elective sections, never given it a second thought.

The birth is just what gets the child here, it’s what comes after that, that’s the important bit.

I actually had quite a nice birth experience, a simple labour that wasn't too long and although I had gas and air, I don't remember it doing a lot, good or bad. It hurt, and I got very bruised, which I weirdly hadn't been expecting for some reason. But all in all it was fine. I don't even think about it now. It's not always bad, honestly. All the best.
(Sorry OP, nothing to do with the thread, really!)

Everyone's experience is going to be different. Plenty of women have really positive experiences giving birth. The situation of a woman who previously had a complicated labour ending in C section, and is deciding on her next delivery, is going to be unique to her circumstances. My top advice would be to work on breathing techniques as they really do help in the moment. Hope all goes well!

My vaginal birth was fine, but honestly with having a baby it's the destination that matters not the route.

Congratulations and do whatever seems most likely to have a safe and healthy outcome!