To 'miss out' on a vaginal birth?

[dancingqueen345]

I had an emergency c-section with my first, only got to about 3cm but was in so much pain and couldn't have imagined going through full birth. My recovery was great/easy and I now only have really positive feelings about my birth.

I'm pregnant with no2 (definitely our last) and I've found myself being really blasé about going straight for a planned c-section this time round, but just a tiny niggle of doubt is creeping in that I'll miss not having the experience of a vaginal birth!

Am I romanticising it?

I thought I had quite a high pain threshold before no.1 but now I'm not so sure. I'm also very aware I could end up in an emergency c-section again and I would definitely prefer a planned one over emergency.

Just looking for opinions/experiences please!

I was in your situation OP a couple of years ago when having my second.

If the recovery from my C Section with my first child hadn't been so excruciatingly painful I would've just asked for an elected C Section but instead I wanted to avoid surgery again & I had a VBAC.

My vaginal births were both wonderful experiences that I'm really glad I had. No birth injuries, no issues postpartum. Not everyone has that experience though, obviously.

Nobody can predict what will happen. You just have to make the best decision you can with the information you have.

25 years ago, I too have had EMCS with 1st, (8 hours in, only 3cm like your good self) I had the option of CS with 2nd, but opted out. I was scared but, I'm so grateful I didn't go for CS, because I had fairly easy normal deliveries with other 2. Personally, recovery is a lot easier, with normal births. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Retained placenta probably. I didn’t have it either.

I had two vaginal births and neither if them were natural ,I was induced with both ,long and drawn out with lots of interventions and ds2 was born via ventouse
I'm not sure either were a positive experience other than my babies of course
The main thing is the baby arrives safely .

LOL, if there is something worth 'missing out' on, it's a vaginal birth! Go for it with the C-Section! Best of luck!

Having had babies C-section and vaginally I can hand on heart say the only thing you’re missing out on is a battered and bruised vag, in place of a battered a bruised abdomen.

Having had two vaginally, you’re not missing out. I feel I missed out on a positive birth experience which I might have had from an elective c section

Honestly had i known that he was so big I'd have asked for an elective. I have massive kudos for those that have had one, it really seems the harder option.

Told I was low risk so opted for a home birth after straight forward first birth. He got stuck, paramedics turned up and he tore me enough that I had to have surgery. Every midwife, every scan missed that he was 10lb and just kept saying he was measuring on the high side of normal. Had I gone overdue I don't think he'd have made it out alive.

Tbh, I was so out of it I’m not sure and didn’t ask. I looked it up a few years ago and I think it may have been a postpartum massage to encourage the uterus to harden and prevent postpartum haemorrhage (thanks Dr Google) 😜 👩‍⚕️

I don’t think there’s any good option really! For me the option I was scared of was the c section as I’ve always had a bit of a phobia of my muscles being cut. Luckily I had two smooth vaginal births with no issues and easy recovery. I was told they were ‘textbook’ and both were reasonably quick- despite this, they were both scary and obviously incredibly painful. So yeah, even a ‘textbook’ birth is like being tortured IMO.

Honestly just don’t let anyone else’s opinion affect you and go with your gut. Whatever you choose you’re bloody brave! Good luck!

Two c sections and zero regrets. I was pushed to try for a VBAC and I knew I didn’t want to. After the second c-section the obstetrician said the scar on my uterus had been thin so that just confirmed for me I’d made the right decision. My youngest is 8 now and I’ve never wished I’d experienced labour and a natural birth. The second (planned) caesarean was a really positive experience after a good night’s sleep.

I had c sections, never felt like I missed out because I never wanted to have a vaginal birth and didn't really get all the drama around people being upset if they didn't have one, but each to their own.
I couldn't love my DC any more if I tried, so hasn't impacted bonding and I was back driving 2 weeks after each C-section so no negatives for me, in fact on one of the elective c sections the consultant neatened up the scar from a previous C-section and now can hardly see it.

I had two straightforward drug-free home births, and they were great, but the only other group of people I know who had comparably good birth experiences are the ones who had planned C-sections.

I'd prefer a CS. Vaginal sounds painful.

There's evidence that vaginal births can have long term positive health impacts for the child https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49740735.amp

I'm not being anti c section. They have saved countless mothers and babies lives. Just worth considering this information if you're in the position to choose.

I had no interest at all in partaking in labour, so I opted for two elective sections. Absolutely pain and drama free. Quick recoveries. Back exercising at full pelt by 6 weeks.

I have such positive feelings around all of it and in no way feel that I ‘missed out’. People have tried to make jibes and be unkind to me about my choices but I honestly couldn’t feel more positive about them. Just such lovely experiences.

I found the early bit of labour more painful than the latter stage, so I don’t think your experience should put you off. My second labour happened quicker. I had contractions and obviously they did hurt a bit but they were ok. I was sitting reading a magazine. I only asked the midwife to check me as I hadn’t been checked for a few hours (I wasn’t on Delivery just a maternity ward) - and the next minute they were saying I was 7cm dilated and were wheeling me down to delivery! The pain level was in no way indicative of that!

Even for my last baby, which was a high risk pregnancy, the OB recommended a vaginal birth as better for the baby and me. That surprised me as I was sure she’d recommend a section.

Anything can happen during birth. If I were you, I’d plan a normal vaginal birth. Why have surgery if you can avoid it? It will still be an option if needed. I found my recovery so much quicker than the ladies who’d had sections.

Also, my doctor said this was a nonsense. He also was very against ‘seeding’. I actually had group B strep for the first so having a vaginal birth likely would have necessitated antibiotics for my baby.

There’s some truth in this. You had some people’s idea of a birth dream scenario, home and drug free. I had the opposite end of the spectrum, planned sections in a clinical setting. Both of us had our dream situations. Everyone in between seem to have a little bit of trauma associated with their births.

Labour and birth is intensely unpredictable, that’s why I wanted a plan. And to feel absolutely nothing.

I had two vaginal births because that was my preference. They were fine (mine weren't traumatic or anything like that), but nothing I'd be bothered about "missing out" on. I don't look back at them as anything special - obviously the children being born is special, but the method wasn't relevant to that.

I had to have a natural birth in the 80's against my wishes, I ended up with a completely prolapsed uterus at 21 years old, stitches from front to back and PTSD plus plenty of surgery to correct all of this later on.
I think people certainly do romanticise natural birth, some might be great but others are most certainly not.
I'd sooner have a planned c-section that watch my uterus hanging out of my body inside out again I can tell you.

1st one was okay. I was induced and had an epidural. I was exhausted as it was 3 days and I had a lot of stitches and a painful recovery but no lasting birth injury.

2nd one was 8 hours and I had a teeny tiny tear that healed so quickly. My baby had catastrophic brain damage though through mismanagement immediately after delivery that wouldn’t have happened had she been delivered by caesarean. We were unlucky but I think midwives underplay the risks of vaginal delivery, particularly when it comes to maternal birth injuries. The focus is always on maternal and neonatal mortality which is of course our main concern, but birth injuries can very very debilitating and neglected in the U.K.

I had an elective 'T' shaped section due to my son being an unstable lie, he went from breech just prior to the section to transverse when they actually cut me open. I felt the same about 'what am I missing' for a a long while after, but just try to remind myself neither of us would have survived had I gone into labour. The recovery was shit but I'm sure like the mums who had horrendous natural births will tell you, you just crack on anyway.

Just wanted to let you know your feelings are very valid, although having you and baby here safely is really all that matters in the big scheme of it all.

I also had a VBAC. If i had my time again id go for the section. I had a section with my first and its WAY easier recovery.