Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I’m so so sorry that your hospital experience was so bad. I’ve had two MMCs and the scans have been totally traumatic but at least the doctors have been sensitive and kind. Cautious congratulations on your new pregnancy, I’m 5+5 and feeling very nervous, and have a 3yo and share the challenging feelings of feeling lucky but like our family isn’t yet complete.

@30somethingttc So sorry about the loss of your third baby ❤️, yet lovely news about your two wriggly little beans.

Have all your symptoms been continuous or fluctuating?
The reassurance of my scan on Wednesday is starting to wear off. I’ve been feeling sick & just generally rubbish for a while now. Yet today I’ve been working from home so resting more & feel pretty much fine. Tired but not that nauseous.
I’m 8 weeks today & my MMC stopped growing at 8wks & had a loss of symptoms then. So I’m feeling apprehensive that I feel ok today

Thanks everyone.
hope you are all doing ok.
@Figtree11 sorry to hear your anxiety is creeping in a bit. I have been so up and down with my symptoms too. When are you booked in for your next scan, have you got a date?

I forgot to ask today at my scan so wonder if someone here might know, on an EPU/EGU scan notes you get given what is the little line graph with the dot mean next to the babies CRL?

I completely understand that feeling. The happiness and hope I felt on Tuesday has disappeared and now it's just fear again. My symptoms are fluctuating too, which is really exhausting. Sometimes I feel intensely nauseous and then I'll go a few hours feeling fine and then start to panic. With my son, I think I remember feeling terrible all the time in the first trimester, but I could be misremembering. No one can feel sick permanently for 8 weeks can they?!
I was definitely more severely sick than this time though - actual throwing up rather than low level nausea. I'm trying not to compare as it isn't helpful, but it's hard.

Have you got your next scan booked in? I'm trying to just manage day to day till the next one.

@Figtree11 hi I’ve not posted on this thread yet but have been keeping my fingers crossed for all you guys! I am currently 23 weeks pregnant following a MMC last year and the anxiety is so hard. I definitely had fluctuating symptoms though and on more than one occasion thought the worst but here we are more than half way through with a very wriggly baby still growing away. I think it is very normal both for symptoms to come and go and for the anxiety you’re feeling so just wanted to try and provide some reassurance and a hand hold xxx

Thank you @30somethingttc & @Ketryne it’s good to know that I’m not alone in my worries & that fluctuating symptoms are normal. I feel sick again today 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s the anxiety of just second guessing everything. I’ve not got my next scan yet, I have my booking appt on Weds and where I am the midwife then sends off for the scan date. So hopefully will get it in the next week or 2.

Thank you @Fletn22 and welcome to the thread. That’s so reassuring to hear, thank you for commenting & letting me know 😊 Amazing news that you are now 23 weeks!

@Figtree11 iI know its so worrying when anything changes isn't it. I had a day with very little nausea and even managed to cook and eat a family meal which I haven't done in weeks! Then I got really worried that symptoms had gone. Following that a couple of days later symptoms absolutely plummeted and I've had a couple of days in bed with nausea and upset stomach and couple barely move. At my 10 week scan the sonographer said it's hormone surges and they affect women really differently. Glad you've got your MW appt coming up, maybe have a chat with her about your worries, hopefully she'll be able to give you some reassurance too x

@30somethingttc so CRL is crown to rump length (sorry if you know that!) and on my scan report with CRL it has "GP" with a line graph and dot followed by 97% so I am assuming this is "growth percentile"?! I'm apparently measuring 6 days ahead so would make sense my growth percentile is high for LMP date... but this is my layman interpretation of it 😂

I don’t know if this applies everywhere, but our local EPU runs a private scan offering on a Tuesday night every week for £80. Anyone can book in, you don’t have to be referred. Obviously it’s not cheap, but I’m finding it really reassuring knowing that if I feel I need to check in again, I can. Just thought I’d mention as I had no idea until I had my miscarriages that an nhs service could offer that, and they said it’s better than going to a totally private company as you’re immediately connected back into the nhs system if there’s a problem.

(maybe everyone already knows this but thought I’d mention in case)

@Ketryne oh that's interesting! I've not heard of our local one offering that kind of service at all. Good idea though!

Interestinggg. Mine doesn’t have the % next to it. I wondered if it would be percentile. Just thinking mine are both on the small side… you know just to give myself another thing to worry about 🥲🥲

@30somethingttc that's what mine looks like! Oh my goodness totally, I've been thinking why is mine so big and what can that possibly mean?! 😕 From lots of things I've read measurements in early scans is definitely not an exact science. And ultimately if the sonographer is concerned about anything they're professionally obliged to tell us. That's what I'm telling myself anyway! My cycles are so short and I'm fairly sure of when I ovulated so I find it hard to believe I'm a week ahead of where I should be. Interested to see what the 12 week scan shows! When is yours? Mine is 22nd April, I'll be 12+4. Not too long really in the scheme of things still feels like bloody ages away!

@30somethingttc they look fine. I think I said further up the thread but we've actually been referred to fetal medicine following the 20wk scan due to a couple of measurements below 5th centile. It's so hard not to catastrophise but yet again, worrying doesn't actually change anything about any of it except for my experience. Having looked close at my measurements and various online sources and the fact my son was also a small baby (though not at this stage) I'm fairly certain I just make small babies. Remember the centiles, even the very low and very high ones, represent normal healthy babies who would be expected to be born to mums similar to you. But honestly, looking at those measures I wouldn't say you look below 10th and certainly not 5th anyway. 💕

Thank you @SnookyPook and @Hopingrae
i definitely have looked over my scan notes SO much as it’s the only thing you get so totally over thinking it especially when I don’t know what it actually means and not got to this point before but your explanations make total sense!! So thank you 💓

hope everything goes ok with your referral 🤞

my scan is 16th April I’ll be 11+5 with my new dates as behind what they originally thought from my LMP. Only 10 days to wait but with you on it feeling like ages.
I am hoping i find out if we are high chance for any of the syndromes at that scan? We didn’t go for the nipt in the end as I didn’t know where to book it in for, like where would be reputable.
feel like such a novice and have no idea what I’m doing 🙈

Ignore the above on testing. Just googled it and see I will have the test at my scan not find out the results. Had my head in the sand so much I need to actually find out what happens going forward rather than relying on all of you to guide me 😂😂

@30somethingttc I decided against nipt too as it was £400 and DH and I agreed it gets checked out at 12 weeks anyway so only a couple of weeks later. Hope I done live to regret that but happy with the decision we made at the time! At 12 weeks they check the back of the baby's neck for nuchal translucency which can be suggestive of syndromes if measurements are at a certain point. They also do a blood test. I think if the combination of those are suggestive they'll do nipt. I think. I've done this before with DS and I think that's roughly what happens!

@Hopingrae yes that's right. I did wonder if I ought to do NIPT this time being a bit older etc but I didn't. They give you NT measurement on the day and then usually the blood results come as a letter within two weeks if low risk, or you get a phone call within 3 working days if they come back high risk. If high risk, you are offered the NIPT and any further necessary investigations. 👍🏼

Happy Saturday everyone! How is everyone doing?

How and when did you all book in? Do you have to do it via the GP?

great to know about the private EPU scans @Ketryne! I’m going to look up whether mine does them now

@Confusedandtired90 I think every area is a bit different! In my area you self-refer to midwives and there is an online registration to do. Then when you get to around 6wks they send you your booking in appointment. My GP hasn't been involved at all. If there is a community midwife base in your area, may be worth giving them a call. Or if in doubt, ring your GP and I'm sure they would signpost you if it's not them you need. 👍🏼

@Hopingrae will you wait to tell your friends and family til after your test results are back? Did you @SnookyPook ?
we had this big plan to tell them as we are seeing my side a few days after the scan but now I’m thinking shall I wait til we get the news.

@Confusedandtired90 I self referred to my hospital and didn’t go through the GP. I got a text and letter shortly after, maybe 2-3 weeks, with booking in and scan dates!

@30somethingttc we've told some family and a few close friends. More for practical reasons and we've asked for no congratulations at this stage. It's more the circumstance of me having been quite unwell so needing some extra help with DS, missing events and had a couple of bereavements and needing extra support again. Everyone we've told know about the previous losses I've had and I've found comfort in knowing I don't have to carry this on my own and had a few check in messages which has been nice. I'm not really one for big announcements as such but I know everyone is different re that. I'll def wait for results to tell wider circle and work colleagues though.

Thanks guys - will try getting in touch with the hospital directly.

I have a scan on Monday to make sure the pregnancy is in the right place this time so will wait to see how that goes first 😅

@Hopingrae no I’m not for the big announcements either. We have told our parents and my two closest friends but thinking the same RE work and wider friends.
I wrongly thought we would get the results then so was planning on telling my brothers and sisters when we saw them but now think I’ll wait!

just to edit, when I say big plan to tell them we literally are just telling me but I was excited to do it in person 😂

@Confusedandtired90
got my fingers crossed for your scan on Monday. Hope it goes well! Xx

Thanks @Hopingrae im feeling more positive today & trying to think that this could work out well. The hormone surges definitely makes sense.

@Confusedandtired90 I have to ring up the GP and give the receptionist my details & then the community midwife gets in touch for the booking appt. I then have that appt at my local doctors with her, and she sends off for the 12 wk scan. Very odd that every place seems different to each other!

@Ketryne i love that idea of nhs offering private scans. I had a bad experience at a private scan I had & it’s put me off. So being in the nhs system if any issues is so reassuring & makes total sense