Due July 2024 - part 3

[Oatmilktea]

I noticed the other thread was full and have started a new one.

Lovely to hear of everyone’s 20 week scans. Thanks to those of you who gave me a list of baby essentials, very helpful!

Hope you’re all doing well!

Anyone with previous c section having any issues with your scar? Mine is SO itchy 🙈🙈🙈🙈 my son is 14 months old so I only had my section last Jan so it must be the stretching. Any creams that can help? X

@AnonymousXXIX - that is very impressive work! DS is a bit older than your toddler so luckily already potty trained otherwise I’d be stealing that idea.

@hopingfor23 - not at the moment but my scar was uncomfortable earlier on when my bump first popped. I’ve been using a bit of moisturiser and massaging it and it seems to have calmed down now

@Sophie3003 thanks so much Sophie, yes so strange she said nowhere ever checks when I knew it was more about districts 😵‍💫
im so glad you get on with the usual midwife, that’s great! ☺️Hope she returns next time!
@wannabe123 right! Let me give you a sample 😂 I haven’t given any since booking appointment 😵‍💫hope you find physio helps you 🤞
@Morningcoffeeaddict two samples! Now that’s just greedy 😂
@MrsHousePlant im sorry you feel the same, I completely relate to your point. Also staff shortages here. I’m super grateful everything seems fine, perhaps that might be why the ‘hello - goodbye’ appointment 🤞

thanks so so much ladies ☺️🩷

@Morningcoffeeaddict any potty training advice? To our amazement, my toddler used the potty 9-12 months, and then switched to using the toilet at 13 months. I was just like... woah, okay, that's going well. Not out of nappies, mind! Hahaha that would be too good. But just went on potty/toilet around half the time when at home, by choice.

But then around a month before turning 2 started REFUSING to go for some reason. Still tells us when wet/dirty and wants a change immediately, but absolutely no interest in sitting on the toilet any more. I think it is just the terrible twos (being stubborn, rather than not being ready), but still... what do we do???

@AnonymousXXIX - oh it’s so tricky isn’t it and so frustrating when they’re doing it and then suddenly not doing it.

we didn’t start until he was a bit older than 2 and did the whole 3 days at home mostly naked thing. We mostly get accidents when he’s worrying about leaving whatever he’s playing with or absorbed in whatever task he’s up to and leaves it until the very last minute. I think the advice is to generally just bin the nappies and be strong about the amount of laundry for a short period as it’s more uncomfortable having wet pants than a wet nappy I guess? Obviously easier said than done. We also upped the talking about the fact that adults use the toilet too and his preschool teacher got on board with that so they see it as a normal thing and not just something you’re forcing them to do.

My niece used to really refuse to go and some of the tips were around things like putting glitter (or similar) in the potty so it has a fun effect when they use it, but I think they resorted to bribery (you can have a chocolate button / some privacy and a YouTube video on Nanna’s phone if you sit there type things).

My toddler is 2 years 3 months, so it is really early - and therefore nursery has not been keen on addressing it. We use cloth nappies, so already feels when wet/dirty really easily. Bribery has done nothing haha.

At the moment I am just resigned to waiting to see if a change spontaneously happens. We definitely don't want to force anything, I am just so confused why it was fine before and now isn't! Maybe it is karma, for being smug my one year old was using the toilet! 😂

@AnonymousXXIX something similar happened here. Started training DD when she was 2. She was SO keen, and it went well for a few days… then we had outright refusal so went back to nappies thinking she clearly wasn’t ready.

Gonna try again over Easter weekend, could really do with her being trained when the new arrival comes ☺️

@AnonymousXXIX - 2 year olds are just a law unto themselves aren’t they. A change will almost certainly spontaneously happen at some point, we’ve had the odd regression with my son and I get frustrated but basically tell myself that he knows what he’s meant to be doing and will come back to it and then he does after a week or so. There’s just a lot going on in their little lives (sometimes things we don’t even think of as a lot) and they’ll come back to it when they’re ready.

@Amberellaella we're potty training my 2.5 year old over Easter weekend too. Dreading it but fully committed! We bought the Big Little Feelings course which has been really helpful for getting prepared!

@Jess725 thanks!

I rang the midwife today and they are going to send a referral to the physios. The pain is horrible and even driving is painful. I think I'll give the NHS physio a chance before forking out to go private but if the NHS just say "it's part of pregnancy" then I'll go private. I didn't have this much pain with my first and really can't go on like this for 15 more weeks 😫 my hip went at one point while I was teaching and I had to get a child to bring me a chair and another to write on the board.

@wannabe123 - that pain sounds awful! Hopefully the nhs physio will be able to help you out

@wannabe123 it sounds like what happened with my back. It took my husband 30 minutes to take me to the toilet during the night one night as I was in agony and could barely walk. Physio has transformed things. A tiny niggle occasionally but nothing like that at all (and my bump is massive!).

@Sophie3003 that does sound similar! I hope the referral/appointment won't take long to come through. I'm at a hen do this weekend and really worried about how I'm going to cope. Paracetamol and pregnancy band are absolutely no use at all!

@wannabe123 your pregnancy band should be worn back to front to bind your back together (if it's the same issue as mine and you need back support and not bump support). My physio told me this and fitted mine but I haven't needed it yet.

@wannabe123 ohhh goodness. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with it all. Let us all know about the referral. Please don’t suffer. Are you able to go private? ❤️

hi ladies, just to say I was suffering with lower back pain up until about 6 weeks ago when I started practising yoga and got a pelvic cushion for my desk chair! I think those two combined made such a significant difference and I feel so much better now.

as a side note, have also booked a few sessions with a local lady that does hypnobirthing and knows our hospital quite well…feeling positive!

@wannabe123 I had my first physio appointment today- referral for the same pain but mine doesn't sound as bad as yours. They gave me lots of exercises to do and a compression band to wear around my back and stomach too which has already been helping a lot. Hopefully this makes you feel a bit more optimistic x

Thank you everybody for your advice 😊 today has been much better. Still twinges and a bit of limping at times but I've had pain free chunks of time today 🎉 my hip clicked in the night which possibly has helped. I've also worn my pregnancy belt all day and I think that's helped. I took it off for a bit after tea and the pain started creeping back in so definitely is doing something.
I'm doing pregnancy yoga and that definitely helps too. It's such a lovely 2 hour class with chats about birth and motherhood and then a good stretch and relaxation. It's also really nice to have time in the week to just think about this baby and not have to think about housework or my 3 year old.

We have sorted baby's room this weekend and last night I sorted all the clothes from newborn to 3-6 months that we have saved from our eldest. It brought back so many memories - some good and some sad (like the outfit he was wearing when he got readmitted for too much weight loss at 5 days). I showed my little boy this morning and he clocked the newborn cloth nappies in the bottom and he was so excited that baby has nappies in their wardrobe like he does (he is potty trained but it's just good storage for the bigger nappies!)

Hope you are feeling better @wannabe123?

I just had a midwife appointment at 23w+5d and was very underwhelmed! Firstly they were an hour late taking me (none of my appointments have been anywhere near on time), the appointment lasted 5-10 mins with a quick urine check, blood pressure check and checked baby’s heartbeat. I’ve also seen a different midwife every time! Has anyone else felt this way about their appointments?

@Oatmilktea sorry you’re feeling that way about your midwife appointments. I think a few other people have suggested they’re feeling the same way which is disappointing as it’s such a vulnerable time.

Mine always seem to last forever (25/30mins or an hour if the consultant is there too) but I suspect a good 15mins of the appointment is me explaining my medical history again to each person who comes into the room rather than the midwives actually doing anything if I’m honest. They only do the same tests you’ve had (plus whatever extra blood test is on my list)

Thanks @Morningcoffeeaddict it does seem that a lot of people feel the same way. I suppose they aren’t missing anything out, they’re just squeezing it in to a short time. My sister had a great experience with her midwife and built up a good relationship with her. Her midwife also set up an antenatal WhatsApp group of local women who were all due within the same month or two and she met lots of friends that way. I suppose the difference is she lives in a small town and I live in the city, so I imagine they are very overstretched here!

@Oatmilktea - your sisters midwife sounds great! I’ve never heard of someone doing that before! We had a WhatsApp for my NCT group before, but obviously paid for that service.
I’m in a small village but our main midwife has to cover a massive area as a result (staffing shortages) and is only anywhere near us once a week - I don’t even have her number to contact her in between if I needed to. She’s very nice, but also clearly quite stressed.

Last pregnancy I saw a different midwife almost every time (certainly for the hospital appointments), but I didn't mind, it was fine. This pregnancy I have had more consistency at the non-hospital appointments, but honestly it hasn't made any difference so far. I think it would be lovely to form a relationship (? haha) with someone, but then it would also be really disappointing if they can't actually be available around the birth? Which happens all the time. So positives and negatives to both situations imo.

In general, I have found waiting and appointment times absolutely terrible, but the quality of care excellent.

@Oatmilktea sorry you’re feeling this way. I posted the same feelings just last week about my check up appointment. It feels like we’re fending for ourselves doesn’t it?! I guess the good thing is we must be low risk and they are not worried! I hope this is the case for you too.
☺️

@Oatmilktea feeling so much better thanks but can't walk without putting my belt on which is a bit of a faff but I'd rather that than the pain.