Due July 2024 - part 3

[Oatmilktea]

I noticed the other thread was full and have started a new one.

Lovely to hear of everyone’s 20 week scans. Thanks to those of you who gave me a list of baby essentials, very helpful!

Hope you’re all doing well!

Finally had my appointment with fetal medicine yesterday. Baby boy looks perfect - although she had a play with the 3D imaging for a bit and the hands and cord in the way of his face made for some very creepy images (I find the 3D ones a bit creepy at the best of times though).

Sadly the checks on my placenta suggested it’s showing all the signs of struggling and eventually developing preeclampsia so I’m under close observation from here on out to try and keep baby boy in a bit longer this time around. Fingers crossed!

My work also chased for the MATB1 form but I told them my midwife had confirmed I would get it at my 24 week appointment, and they seemed fine with that. I think they just want to make sure that you don't forget, because without that form they can't set up your maternity leave/pay.

I'm definitely going to be making a note to ask the midwife for it when I see her 😄

Is anyone else still trying to decide how much mat leave to take? I just don't think I can afford the unpaid bit at the end, even with kit days. Thinking probably more like 10 months. Has anyone gone through that bit?

@plantlover34 I’m not sure how long to take either. I’m extremely lucky to have a good maternity policy at work but it’s the final 3 months unpaid that I'm unsure about too. I’m trying to weigh up struggling for a couple of months vs spending time with my baby that I’ll never get back! I’ve considered taking a mortgage holiday for the 3 months but I’m not sure if that’s wise…

Also, this is my first and I am clueless as to when to start mat leave! My due date is 19th July however I have a low lying placenta and may need a section earlier at 37-38 weeks. How long before your due dates are you planning on starting mat leave?

@Jess725 potentially, will have to see how many coffee and cake meetings I attend every day 😂 when DS was newborn I haemorrhaged money on my short mat leave but loved it. I have my own business and feel like I can dip in, even if minimally, for the first few months so I guess I'll see what I'm comfortable with when the time comes!

@Morningcoffeeaddict my wife is also self-employed (the worst combination for mat leave!). Self-employed partners can't get any benefits for parental leave, shared parental leave or anything. It's so gutting. I can't believe how awful the self-employed maternity/paternity pay system is. My wife and I pay so much tax but still get the same statutory mat allowance as someone who pays none! Seems so unfair.

@plantlover34 I took 10 months with my DS. Going back to work was really hard the first few weeks I really didn't want to be there but soon got used to it. I'm hoping to take 12 months with this one as it will be my last but I need to work out a few things first if not it will be 10 months again.

@BananaHammock23 I had a feeling that may be the case but it is disappointing isn’t it. Just because they haven’t done the giving birth part they’re still parents and just as useful when baby arrives! All this work being done for employed non-birthing partners to get some time with their children and self-employed people are forgotten again.

@plantlover34 I’m taking the full leave including the unpaid bit and did last time around as well. I manage it by saving like crazy the second I find out I’m pregnant (not hugely helpful now I realise) with a target in mind that I know will cover my usual share of the bills and mortgage etc plus a bit extra for mum and baby groups and little treats. There’s no pressure to decide straightaway though usually - except for trying to get a childcare place - if you decide when you get there that you can afford a bit longer work normally need I think 4 weeks notice (check their policy) of a plan to change your return date?

I'm planning on taking 12 months and DH will probably take 2 months. He can combine it with the school holidays, which means he'll have about 4 months off in total after the birth, most of that on full pay. Coincidentally, my due date matches the start of our summer holidays. 😁 Since I'm signed off on full pay until the birth anyway, I'll put the day of birth as the start of my maternity leave.

Last time, when I was on mat leave in England, I only took 9 months off and was then back on full pay for the summer holidays. We had savings but it was much tighter financially. I get more money here. It's also not such a faff since the parental leave benefits are the same for everyone and aren't dependent on the policy of individual employers.

I will be taking 14 months this time, I took 15 months last time. It means I will go back as my DD starts school.

I am going to take two weeks annual leave before I go off, I can be swept from 37 weeks so if baby comes easier (fingers crossed!) then I can just change from annual leave to maternity leave (I did last time when I had to have a section for breech).

Last time I took a little under 4 months mat leave (by choice) and that suited me fine. I actually still worked on a freelance assignment for 3 months of that as well haha just because I was bored during baby's naps. The only issue I had, in hindsight, is that I went back to work bang on the 4 month 'sleep regression' and that was kind of brutal. But I had made sure my workload was very light so it was easy enough to handle. I work from home, and baby just rolled around on a play mat next to me. And also started nursery two half days a week at that time so I could take important calls.

This time I will either take mat leave till the end of November, or until January; I am still undecided - so 5-6 months. This is primarily motivated by the fact that our new nursery (we moved) does not take babies till 6 months... but also because I now have a toddler to chase, as well as the odd time of year. Who goes back to work in December, when the rest of the team goes off on Christmas holidays...? At the same time, that would probably give me another very light workload situation on returning to work, so it might just make sense to clean up my inbox in December so I can hit the ground running in January. I don't know yet!

Edit: oh yeah, and I am going to go on annual leave 1st week of July to hopefully enjoy 2 weeks to myself before baby makes an appearance.

I am going to start maternity leave at 38 weeks.
I get 6 months full pay and then it drops down, to lower rate SMP and then nothing... So I am intending on saving up as much A/L to take at the end of the maternity leave. I may consider taking a month or so of the lower rate SMP as well but want to see if my work can equally split my pay across the whole period to make budgeting easier... We want to move early next year, so it's a big factor in how long I stay off for due to mortgage approval and our ability to continue to save once little one is here!

@Morningcoffeeaddict @BananaHammock23
Hey ladies!
Same boat, hubby is also self employed / runs his business and yesterday I spent a lot of time on HMRC website and finally found in writing that partners do not get parental leave or pay :( as you say, worst combination! Hubby is working extra time atm 🙈

I think dipping into business for something like this is absolutely worth it to enjoy the time with the new small family member 😁

@AnonymousXXIX
ahh, that's good to know re time off timings, thank you 😊

I'm taking 7 months and my husband is taking 3 so ours will be 10 months when going to nursery. We did that last time with our first and worked really well. We shared last time because I was the higher earner by quite a bit, he's caught up now but it worked really well last time so keeping it the same.

I have 2 weeks holidays booked for before my due date so maternity leave will start the week I'm due but I'll have 2 weeks off before. I'll see nearer the time though, I planned that last time and ended up finishing up at 37 weeks because I was so uncomfortable

Not sure how long I’ll be taking off just yet as it’s finance dependent, but will be somewhere between 10-12 months. I want to get her settled in at nursery for a while before I go back to work though.

I’m finishing at 37 weeks, using two weeks holiday and my mat leave officially starting the week before I’m due. However I am planning on moving house in those three weeks, it’s not going to be a relaxing break unfortunately 🫣

I’m taking 8 months and DH is taking 6. Both a combo of mat/pat, shared parental and annual leave and all on full pay.

Last time I planned to go off for the full 12 months but go so bored I went back at 9 😂

Hi everyone,

Hope everyone is ok! So nice to see so many positive 20 week scans, and appreciate all the info about maternity/paternity etc.
I have no idea what I'm going to do/take yet 🙈 I work for a family business and there's only me in the office, I'm thinking of taking some time off then flexible working from home after a certain point. Need to really have a good think about it all 😂

We had the 20 week scan yesterday and everything looked fine for the twins 🥰
However, I've had a call today and when they've updated my measurements one of the twins is just shy of the 10th percentile so they want to check the placenta again next Thursday. She said not to worry about it, but I am a little concerned.
Has anyone else had this please?

@CB2805 how did your scan go yesterday?

Had my 20 week scan this morning and everything is looking good. Confirmed that it is indeed a girl. 💖😁
Samples all looked fine as well. I'm not a fan of getting on the scales, though. Have gained about 8lbs so far, which is probably not that bad...but I had started out quite overweight after three years of IVF treatments (and being told not to do any exercise at all in the months prior to transfer). Oh well, just need to try and walk it all off again once the small one is out. I'm way too hungry to even consider dieting and too tired to up my exercise level. (I'm going to aqua fitness and swimming.)

Hello,

Had my scan this morning and it was mixed for us. All the organs looked perfect but the femur is very short (3rd percentile) so it’s another scan for us tomorrow so they can look at all the bones! it’s a real worry as we were high risk for downs and NIPT came back low risk and now this soft marker has appeared. Although it’s the only soft marker there is.

Im 5’1 so hoping the baby is just short like mummy.

Anyone experienced anything similar ? Xx

@User491 I’m glad your scan went well🫶🏻
I hope next scan clears the air and you have positive news🤞 from what I understood after my discussion with consultant after the scan is that percentiles are not quite accurate as yet at this stage? Although I may be mistaken?
our scan went well as well both bubbas are absolutely fine, and after having a look on the report we looking 55th and 65th percentile.
one of the placentas is still low lying unfortunately, but I really hope I won’t see more bleeding🤞

i was looking today at bedside cribs and I’m so confused. Have u thought at all what you will be getting for your twins?

Morning everyone! Hope you’re all doing okay?

For the second day in a row I’ve been woken by the most painful leg cramps in my right calf, another lovely pregnancy symptom it seems from googling…anyone else suffering?

Apparently magnesium helps so I’m going to try and pick some up today!

@Bali200 I get those too. I remember getting them last time as well. Pregnancy is just great 😂

@Bali200 No leg cramps for me but back pain and diarrhoea every single day. Whoever said pregnancy was glamorous lied

@Bali200 i used to get them a lot at the beginning, then started magnesium and finally have a good nights sleep

What magnesium does everyone take? I am not sleeping as badly as I did the first time as I had chronic pregnancy insomnia for the whole 9 months but would like to get more extended sleep to hopefully improve my energy levels!

For my daughter and this baby I have noticed on my notes that the femur length is way below average (this hasn't been mentioned to me as an issue though). I am 4ft 11 so have always attributed it to being really short!