Due September 2024 - Part 4! 🤰🏻💙🩷

[MrsB2019x]

New thread for September 2024 mamas 💙🩷

@Fawklight
whoever is the head of the business is to speak to an employment agency, take a fixed term contract, start the person a bit earlier to allow for learning curve.
if its barely functioning now then whoever is in charge is extremely bad at their job.

@Fawklight I would definitely talk to your HR team ASAP and they should be able to support. If for whatever reason they don’t provide adequate support I would be looking to make a formal grievance on the issue. Your health is the priority right now and the company are putting themselves at major risk if they aren’t supportive of your situation. You hold a lot of legal weight here. It is great that you seem super dedicated to your team and your role but I always like to remind people that the company could always turn on you in a heartbeat so always prioritise your personal life above work life. You have got enough to stress and worry about outside of work at the moment so focus on yourself and baby first 😊

@Fawklight with respect, you are just an employee. You gain nothing other than a salary. You can hand in your notice tomorrow and they will forget your name in a few weeks. They can make you redundant tomorrow. The welfare of your co-workers and the arrangement of a cover is none of your business or responsibility.

Of course you should take your maternity leave! Your health and your baby's welfare are your absolute priority.

I hate to break it to you but if it is like this then you are doing a charity. Your manager is there taking the money and two people are doing everything else. I am an experienced manager, I manage a whole depot and normally the heavy weight of the office is to be carried by the manager because they are salaried for that responsibility. This is some sort of Stockholm syndrome if you feel guilty for being pregnant.

Hi all,
I've been following the thread for a few weeks but hadn't actually joined until now. I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and just received my Panorama (NIPT) results, and we're expecting a girl.

I've been so sick and tired, and just hoping to turn a corner soon!

Happy to be a part of this group 😊

@FirstTimeMum887
They may forget my name, they may turn on me in a second. I might get made redundant. But at the moment.

I am the one screwing them over by being pregnant and leaving them high and dry. I'm the one who could cause burn out and depression because I've left them severely short staffed and there for I can't sleep at night knowing I've done such harm to good people.

@Fawklight but it’s not you, it’s your manager who will have left the business short staffed if it becomes such. It’s your manager’s responsibility to keep the work flow in the bureau.

@Xur our managers need permission from HR to get new people in. He's been trying to get new people in for a while now.

@Fawklight you sound completely overwhelmed, I'm sorry you work in such a shit place, as that will just add to what is already a stressful time. BUT you are entitled to have a child. You are not causing your colleagues anything. People have children all the time. You are not the first or the last woman to take mat leave.

The way you write suggests you are already burnt out and it's very worrying, don't give this so much headspace that it takes away from such a special time.

Good luck!

@Firsttimemama403 welcome and congratulations! I'm week 12 today and still waiting for this magical second trimester where I get to feel normal again hahaha

@Fawklight wow, in that case you definitely should leave all the guilt outside because that is corporate negligence. :(
whoever is the person with decision making power is the negligent one here and definitely not you. Unfortunately good people often get used and abused in systems ran by individuals who see employees as units on spreadsheets. Even if you are overworked and your colleagues are good people hanging by the thread in this job, your only blame is for putting up with this. You and your colleagues are not corporate slaves and should be expecting appropriate and balanced conduct from your employer.

Welcome @Firsttimemama403 you’re our first confirmed girl 💕

Hi everyone. New here, first time mummy to be. Currently 9+5 weeks and just glad to know I’m not alone dealing with all the anxiety and uncertainty, sickness etc😂😂. Late September due month( fingers crossed). Glad to be here❤️.

@Fawklight that sounds like an awful situation to be in. I know it's really hard but you have to shift your mindset to it's just a job and the baby is priority, you won't get time with your baby so young ever again but jobs will happen.
I work as a manager for a big corporate and we are I credibly over worked, under huge pressure and short staffed. I was really unwell before Christmas and worked myself into hospital carrying on when the doctors told me I needed to take time off. Now I have the baby to concentrate on and have been having to go into hospital for iv fluids several times a week I have had to accept being signed off sick. I am dreading going back to the chaos but at the end of the day it is just a salary and your health and the baby are more important.

@Fawklight sorry to hear your job is impacting your pregnancy. I'm based in Ireland and we have an independent committee (WRC) that would take such complaints and review them through interviews and investigations. Not sure if the UK has something similar?
Or, you need to band your colleagues together and present with HR or whoever is in charge of hiring with a list of all the tasks etc and outline the importance of mat leave cover. I think if you all have a case then they may (and should) take it seriously. The fear of 2/3 unhappy employees coming to them and risk all quiting would be too much.
Your pregnancy should be the most important thing right now.

@Fawklight I’m so sorry you’re in such an awful situation. Just remember if you got hit by a bus tomorrow they’d have to find a way to cope. Please don’t make your job more important than your baby.
In a few months it won’t be your job that’s crying in your arms. In 2 years it won’t be your job saying “I love you mummy”. In 5 years it won’t be your job that you take for their first day at school. In 18 years you won’t be taking your job for their first legal drink. In 30 years it won’t be your job introducing you to your first grandchild.

A job is a job - you’re carrying a life.

I hope this message doesn’t upset you - I really just want you to try to put it in perspective.

Hiya! Me too. The sickness is unreal, but apparently week 9 is the peak for sickness so hopefully it'll start getting better soon!

@Fawklight I'm sorry your situation sounds shitty. I know how you feel...I'm in a similarly shit situation apart from it's my business and i own it with my ex. I cannot take any time off at all (max maybe 3 weeks). I have no maternity leave. If I'm not there the income reduces and therefore the value of the business of which he owns half. I am beyond stressed about how it will work. I avoided becoming pregnant until now. Finding out I was infertile and had left it too long made me think I have to actually have my life, but at what cost I am yet to find out.

@Fawklight I think @Lillers put it perfectly tbh. Your baby will only be tiny once and you’ll never get that time back. Their problem is not your problem. I’d definitely go to HR and explain to them the issues you’re having and the impact it is having on your MH, maybe even seek some
help on how to detach from work and restore more of a healthy work/life balance (please don’t take that the wrong way, but your new family needs to be your priority right now) x

@Fawklight what would they do if one of you went on long term sick?? As a business this is just one of those responsibilities that rests entirely on their shoulders. You have every right to have a baby and to enjoy the time that you are entitled to ❤️

Linea nigra has made an appearance at 8+5. I remember with my first it appeared really early too. I love the line while I'm pregnant but mine lingered for ages post birth and I hated how it looked on my deflated tummy!

Just catching up, I've missed lots.

Welcome new ladies!! Pleased we have a first girl confirmed in the group too 🩷

@californiacooper your situation sounds incredibly similar to mine. I'm also having a regular little stress with myself over how it's going to work. As previously mentioned I'll also get no maternity leave at all but I am very thankful I do only work very part time. I'll have to make it work and it sounds like you will too x

(For the record I did look at childcare.co.uk last week and there were around 4 Nanny's not a million miles away that would do the hours I need but I'm determined to not go down that route unless its absolutely impossible to avoid)

Sorry @Fawklight that you're going through the stresses involved with work. I get it. It's awful. It doesn't help but sending solidarity hugs x

@Fawklight just want to say that you aren't alone, despite also being a senior manager and managing several staff members on mat leave etc, I can't seem to take my own advice and feel incredibly guilty about going on mat leave again 🤦‍♀️ - just want to add my company have been really good about it which just goes to show most of the anxiety is in my head!

Speaking of anxiety... I thought having two scans and seeing the heart beat and little bean moving away would provide much more reassurance but I can't help but feel that's short lived. My scan was only last week and I'm already worrying " what if something has gone wrong since then" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Anyone else or am I just a serial worrier 🤣

Still catching up ... I also get an odd bout of breathlessness, it's so random and mostly when I'm mid conversation rather than actually doing anything strenuous.

No spotting after sex like some but I had a really strong orgasm the other day and for at least 12 hours after I had terrible lower tummy cramps - wondering if it's worth it! I have a high sex drive though that's showing no signs of slowing down yet.

@ForeverHopeful67 Im similar, I had my last scan over 4 weeks ago now and I'm sure when I go on Thursday for my 13 week one they'll say there's nothing there 🤦🏼‍♀️

@MudandMoet lucky you!!!!! 🤣👍🏻👏🏻

@MudandMoet 😂😂 I’ve literally gone right off it. I just wanna sleep and eat haha

I totally get the anxiety. I had a scan at 9+5 and was all good. Baby was wiggling away with a heartbeat measuring ahead of my dates. I’ve got my 12 week on Wednesday and I’m so worried they’ll tell me it hasn’t grown.