IVF/FET Pregnancies due Oct 2024

[2mumlife]

Hi, thought I'd start of thread for those of us who have been through fertility treatment and are due in October 2024 :-)

I'm 6 weeks today after FET. This was our first try for a sibling (also a FET pregnancy).

Nausea is kicking my butt this time around. How is everyone else feeling?

How is everyone feeling about their early pregnancy scans?

@Francesmalin the antenatal ward at my hospital has a whopping cough room. You just go in with your notes book and they'll do it there and then past 16 weeks. I had mine this week, dead arm for 2 days.

@MsWonky I had my first consultant appointment this week. I asked about whether she considers IVF a risk factor as I'd prefer not to have an induction. She said it's completely up to me; they'll offer an induction post 39 weeks but you can just be monitored instead or could choose to have sweeps. She did emphasise that it's my choice so I'd suggest you're vocal about your preferences.

I saw the head consultant and a few may remember I wasn't impressed by my midwife but I quite liked the consultant.

@LuxeBiscuit I am very reluctant to be induced (unless it’s necessary for my specific pregnancy and then I think I would possibly prefer c-section) the midwife essentially forcing it at the booking appointment was one of the reasons we changed hospitals early on. The new one has been great so far so that’s reassuring!

I have to do the glucose test too, is it really horrible @2mumlife?

Is anyone writing a birth plan? My midwife will come to our house at 34 weeks to have a chat about preferences etc. just wondered if anyone’s thought about it yet?

@MsWonky It’s just gross. You fast the night before so go in on an empty stomach, they take your blood, then make you drink a big sachet of what’s essentially disgustingly sweet lucazade the consistency wallpaper-paste. You’ve got to drink the whole thing within a few minutes, then go away for like 2 hours and come back and have blood taken again. I found it pretty touch to swallow the stuff and you can’t eat until after the second blood draw so by then I was both hungry but also felt pretty sick from drinking the stuff. Someone threw it up when I was there but if you do that you’ve got to do it again, so was very. It’s just unpleasant.

@TheYorkshirePudding In totally unconvinced anyone read mine to be honest but it’s good for you and your partner to know what you’d want to happen in any situation, so it’s worth thinking through your best case and worst case scenarios - so I had a c section plan for instance if an emergency one was needed even though it wasn’t the plan. I think just be realistic some things happen that you don’t plan for - my plan was never a forceps delivery but that’s what happened but everything up until that point was what I wanted (natural induction of labour, labour at home with TENS machine for as long as possible, birthing pool, gas and air, basically being left alone as much as possible to get on with it myself). My plan is pretty much the same this time other than hoping to stay at home

Hi ladies! It's really interesting to read about your respective birth plans, especially those of you who are not first time mums (and who know what they are talking about)!

Could I ask why so many of you seem wary of inducing labour? I have no pre-conceived notions or feelings about it (either positive or negative), so I'd be curious to hear about your experiences and reasoning, if you're willing to share.

I know my mum was induced for me, but I think the only reason was that she was afraid I'd be born on Christmas day; I can't ask her about it, as we have been estranged for a few years and she doesn't even know I am pregnant/went through IVF.

Any perspectives or insights would be welcome!

@Melian Everything in pregnancy is up to you, ow you perceive risks and benefits and your own situation. I suggest using the BRAIN tool for everything in pregnancy https://www.liverpoolwomens.nhs.uk/our-services/maternity/your-antenatal-care/brain/

There are a lot of things to consider with an induction, but for me the risks outweigh the benefits of inducing at term on the basis that it’s an ivf pregnancy. If I have other factors that make continuing the pregnancy risky, then I’d reconsider the risks versus benefits. There is a site I like that’s good for lots of evidence based pregnancy decisions to use as a starting place https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-on-inducing-labor-for-going-past-your-due-date/

I think I’m very wary of how things are just ‘done’ to patients because that’s the ‘routine’ practice. Care is not always individualised. I think how I’m going to approach this is to bear in mind that anything can happen during birth so I can’t really make a concrete plan, however I can think about my preferences in each scenario. For example, I’ve found out that leaving it a while for cord clamping can ensure that ~350g blood goes back to your baby, then I looked at my Trust’s policy and they do practice delayed cord clamping but state 1-5 minutes. My individual preference would be to ensure it’s for at least 5 minutes until the cord has turned white. I think I’m going to have to state this clearly because I can imagine being distracted with first cuddles whilst staff just crack on with their routine practice. @Melian I’ve just been reading NICE guidance on induction and found out that it increases the risk of 3rd and 4th degree tearing, you will have to be moved to the labour ward and the drugs they use I’ve had before in the medical management of a missed miscarriage and it didn’t work at all (despite strong painful contractions, lots of blood and tissue loss and uncontrollable shaking head to toe the pregnancy sac hadn’t moved at all) so then I went on to have surgical management. I need to have a good think about induction because as @2mumlife said it’s about weighing up the risks/benefits at that time for me and baby. I wouldn’t want to have increased risk of intrauterine death by leaving it too long but I also don’t fancy going through all the hassle with the drug that didn’t work for me and to stress my baby boy only then to have a c-section anyway.

I think bring forewarned is forearmed. I know as an individual I prefer lots of information and to make an informed decision. It’s my body and my baby and I’m not just a patient. I’m an individual and an intelligent strong woman who knows her own mind. However I am aware that I don’t work in obstetrics and that labour and birth really is only a small period of time and my main goal is a healthy baby and healthy me. I just want to feel comfortable with any decision and that it is the right thing to do at the time.

@2mumlife @TheYorkshirePudding

Thank you both so much for your answers! Of course everyone needs to make up their own minds depending on their medical situation, values, and risk tolerance, but it's helpful to hear about your respective thought processes.

I think I've been subconsciously avoiding reading about different birth options because I still can't bring myself to believe this pregnancy will work. I am a big fan of evidence-based decision making however, and the resources you shared are great first steps in this direction!

@2mumlife well the glucose test does indeed sound totally gross, can’t wait!!

@TheYorkshirePudding I really haven’t thought about birth plans (largely because I still don’t think I’m pregnant 🤣🤣) but after the first hospital talking about induction I did some research and felt the same as you. We did IVF privately and our clinic was great, I was expecting it but still felt the change from that kind of personalised treatment to the NHS standardised route rather jarring. I understand that they have to have certain pathways in place as they are dealing with so many people but it can feel like you are being forced down a potentially unnecessary route. Those were my feelings @melian , but I also have a friend that had to be induced and her experience was fine - as theyorkshirepud said, I think it’s just good to be as informed as possible (and as IVFers we are probably quite used to having to understand complex medical stuff!)

@Melian unlike @MsWonky the inductions my friends have had, have mostly been negative. One friend was induced for reduced baby movements, and her daughter came very quickly (a risk of the drip they can use during inductions) and it became a stressful experience where she sustained a bad tear. Another friend is a type 1 diabetic, so has been induced at 36 weeks, and in her first pregnancy was in hospital for days as her body just didn’t want to go into labour (it was much quicker the second pregnancy). These are different as there were medical reasons to induce, but as a general stance I wouldn’t want to be induced just as a “standard” response to it being an ivf pregnancy. I think pregnancy and birth are over medicalised, and that we don’t know how your body knows to go into labour, but that bodies are meant to decide that for themselves. I’d rather work with my body than against it trying to induce labour when it’s not ready, unless there is a very good reason to do so. I think not inducing gives you a much greater chance of labouring in positions that are more comfortable (are bodies are generally NOT designed to give birth with us on our backs!) with less pain relief etc.

My approach to DDs birth was to say I wanted as little medical intervention as possible / safe. Whilst I was generally approaching birth with the intention not to have an epidural, I also had said to DP that if once in labour it was too much and I wanted it that it that was fine. I very much accepted that I did not know how I would respond to labour and was willing to “go with the flow” a bit and see what felt right as we went. Taking the same approach this time - intention is to birth at home, but I will also pack a hospital bag and if at any point during labour I think “I want to go to hospital” I’m ok with that. I think just trust your instincts on what feels right / safe to you

@TheYorkshirePudding I think if you want to wait for cord to go white to specify that. I stipulated delayed clamping in my birth plan even though that’s the standard approach in my health board as well (I think it is most places now?). To be honest I’m not really sure how long cord clamping took. I know there was a bit of a delay but I think it wasn’t as long as 5 mins as it could have been because of being in theatre for forceps delivery and I had a fair amount of bleeding, but I don’t really know / remember to be honest.

Sorry for my ignorance, but are they now recommending inductions purely if a pregnancy happens to be an ivf pregnancy in some places? There's been no mention of that for this pregnancy for me yet, but I'd like to be prepared if so.

I had a positive induction experience with my DD - however I was induced because my waters broke at 37+4. I feel like DD was ready to come and my body just needed a bit of help kickstarting the contractions. I would feel differently about an induction just because I hit a certain date with this being another ivf baby.

@muddlingthrou induction was being pushed due to my age (40) rather than IVF. I have changed hospitals since and haven’t had any conversations about birthing plans with the new one yet but during my initial appointment with them the only things they viewed as my risk factors were my age and that it is my first pregnancy. Of course this also varies from trust to trust so I think others in the thread have had different experiences with that

@muddlingthrou My consultant has recommended induction at 40 weeks in both ivf pregnancies because they are ivf. I’m 34, no medical conditions, no family history of any complicated pregnancies, no history of miscarriage/still birth, no other risk factors and had a perfectly normal pregnancy first time. To be fair he’s not pushy about it, just said that’s what their duty of care was to offer. When I declined with DD a plan was put in place to have extra ultrasound at 41 and 42 weeks if I didn’t go into labour. I went into labour naturally before the 41 week scan was due. My health board in general seem to be particularly hesitant around ivf - it’s a very small area and they don’t see many ivf pregnancies. So I’ve got extra growth scans at 28, 32, 36 and 40 weeks which is more than most people are offered for example as well. Again, zero issues with growth last time (DD was 8lbs 7oz).

@2mumlife a while ago you mentioned few brands you really liked that sell baby clothes (and there is also plenty on vinted). Do you mind reminding me the brands? I can't find the post in the thread! Thank you 😊 🙏🏻

@Francesmalin I looooovvvvveeee Frugi - it’s really expensive new, but there is a big second hand market. They do nice colourful prints. I also like Kite and Little Green Radicals.

Had my 20 week scan today. A little bit mixed though - baby looks totally fine, and they’ve said I have an anterior placenta this time, which explains why I haven’t been feeling movements really yet which was worrying me a bit. Downside is my cervix is shortening a bit. My consultant only does Thursdays, so they want me to come in again next Thursday for another scan to check cervix length and get him to review things as a precaution. Im hoping it’s nothing to worry about - my cervix is now about the length it was with my DD, it’s just last time it was short and stayed short and this time it started off longer and is shortening which has set off a bit of an orange flag. Trying not to worry about it until next week. One option is to go back of progesterone suppositories until 34 weeks which would be ok. I don’t think we’re at the more extreme need of having to talk about a cervical stitch but I guess we’ll see.

Also yet again our scan image is AWFUL 😂 baby was upside down and hiding profile behind hands

Thanks @2mumlife and @MsWonky - useful to know! And second the loving Frugi, especially the pyjamas. I also like sleep no more and bonds.

@2mumlife thank you so much! I Am not buying anything at least until the 20th week scan but yesterday I was in a loop and was looking at cute new born outfits 😊

Sorry to hear about the cervix. Hopefully everything goes well next week when you see the consultant 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@muddlingthrou I know some people love the Bonds wondersuits

@Francesmalin Thanks. Its just going to niggle away a bit now until next week.

Just catching up as I have missed a bit…

@MsWonky @2mumlife i also have to do the glucose test and not looking forward to it at all!

@2mumlife glad to hear baby is well from your scan. Sorry to hear about your cervix shortening. Hope you have a helpful meeting next week with the consultant.

I haven’t had my whooping cough vaccine yet. I need to ask my midwife about where to get it as I haven’t been offered it yet. I can’t believe that I’m nearly at 24 weeks, time is going so quickly now after the slowest beginning few months.

Good morning ladies!

It's probably way too late to worry about this now, but I was wondering what changes you'd made to your skin care and makeup routine during pregnancy?

I re-read the advice given by my French doctor and it basically said to avoid any makeup or deodorant, and to only use body/face creams that are pregnancy-approved. I think we're probably all familiar with the advice to avoid retinol, essential oils and other strong products, but I wonder where to set the line? As I'm currently working in a country where it's been over 40 degrees for three months, there is NO WAY I will skip deodorant!

P.-S. I don't know if it has been discussed on previous threads, so please accept my apologies if this topic has already been covered!

@Melian I kept using my normal products. I use Clinique but if you need to change use products that are more natural like avene, bionike, la roche posais etc. Just make sure there is no retinol in any of the products you use!

On another note I did a last minute scan yesterday evening because I was worried that there.was something going on with my baby and I found out I am going to have a girl!!! I was so sure it was a boy that it took me by suprise!!! She seems to be good and everything is in place ! Not to long to wait for the 20 weeks scan!

@Melian i changed to natural deodorant during the ivf process so I’ve just kept going with that. Re skincare I’ve just kept the same but removed the acids. I am mainly using Caudalie and Evolve as they are natural.

@Francesmalin congratulations 💕💕

@2mumlife sorry to hear about your cervix worries, I hope the next scan brings some good news.

@Melian oh my god, we aren’t supposed to use deodorant?! Well I’m definitely still whacking mine on! I really really miss retinol but have switched it for Azaleic acid (also use vitamin C). I already had melasma and haven’t noticed much difference to that so far but the Azaleic is working as a substitute for my retinol so far - obviously it depends on your own skin needs etc but it might be worth looking into.

@Francesmalin a girl! How exciting!!

Well I’ve bitten the bullet and am having a therapy session next week with an infertility specialist. Hoping it will help me work through some of the struggles

@Francesmalin I was also convinced baby was a boy that when they told me she was a girl at 16 weeks I gasped so loud! It's funny you can have such strong feelings (which turn out to be totally wrong 🤣). I'm happy to be giving my DD a little sister.