Pregnancy after miscarriage - New support thread

[tulipsunday]

A new thread for those who are pregnant following miscarriage/s. Come and share your worries and joy with people who understand what you are going through.

@Nic2908 we did decide to find out the gender! I think it's a nice combination of info as it's taking some of the pressure off the fear of the test having a high risk result because I can think of happy things like boy vs girl. The clinic also made a 10 second video of the baby wiggling and I just keep watching it over and over which is bringing some reassurance. Hopefully will get results by Friday.

@RainbowMoonstone im so so sorry for you and your husband.

Thanks for all the kind words @siobhanmt247@Nic17@Hoping4amiracle@TheBirdintheCave
(And anyone else I missed?)

@WolfMother326 I like the idea of trying out a naturopath, thanks for the suggestion, I’ll look into it.

I barely slept last night. I ended up desperately googling rpl success stories and what worked for them. My husband and I are both fed up with the fertility clinic we’ve been working with for the past 6 months. Today, they still performed the ultrasound to make sure all the tissue passed. They said the tissue sample results from the lab should be back in 1-2 weeks. I asked about additional testing and they said there’s nothing more they can test for. I asked about NK cells and if they could test for that, and they said they seldom run that test and would not do it for me. I’m not sure if I have been tested for MTHFR, but I’ll get a second opinion for what additional panels to run.

I’m scheduled to meet with a different dr from a different clinic at the end of the month and am hoping that they can do more for me than say sorry and brush me off. I don’t even care if the tests are unnecessary, I want to feel proactive like I’m doing SOMETHING. IVF with PGT was/is a path we were/are strongly considering, but a life event may be coming up for us that would make the timing of all that impossible (DH is interviewing with a company in Finland and we may actually move out there). My AMH is on the lower end of normal and I was told that if I were to pursue IVF it’s now or never. But this was the same doctor who has given me zero support during my natural pregnancies which all failed.

As I did in December, I’m going to take this month off to let my hormones rebalance before TTC again. We typically conceive our first try, so that’s not an issue for us. If it’s not egg quality, I wonder if it’s a uterine lining thing. I’ve tried lovenox, antibiotics, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, supplements from the book It Starts with the Egg, reduced sugar consumption, and eliminated soy and gluten from my diet. I must sound like a crazy person, but I’m willing to give almost anything a try!

Wow this message got pretty long. If you made it this far, thank you for hanging in there. It’s a rough journey.

Hello @RainbowMoonstone ,

I talked IVF through with my consultant but he was cautious about recommending IVF without trying to understand the cause of the losses - right now you don’t know it’s down to egg quality, it’s just one possibility. I really disliked my previous consultant who suggested the miscarriages were a result of my weight (for the record I was a normal size 14 12 stone so not exactly breaking world records.) Finding a consultant you trust and have faith in helps massively - he made my partner and I feel so much more hopeful. xx

@Hoping4amiracle you have a great sounding doctor. Mine seems to have no interest in working with me unless I choose the IVF route. He keeps telling me it’s chromosomal abnormalities in the embryos that are causing my losses, even though we have never once done any testing to verify this. And yes, I am also worried about going through all the IVF procedures just to find out it’s not my eggs at all. I really need to find out more about why this is happening.

I got a call from a nurse on his behalf today to let me know my hcg was already down to pre pregnancy level and said I’m free to start trying again this cycle if I want. I was literally in tears today when I went in to get my blood taken and drop off the contents of my miscarriage today. It felt so insensitive to suggest that I try right away, without any changes or hope that things will go differently… and very possibly go back down the same path and face yet another loss. I’m glad to be leaving that clinic and I hope that my next doctor will actually care.

I also found a naturopath in my area who specializes in women’s health and specifically helping mothers. I spoke to her on the phone and am eager to begin working with her next week.

Today was a long day and yesterday feels like months ago.

@RainbowMoonstone Finding a good care provider is everything. I really hope you can get some answers and learn the root of the problem. I hope you can take some time to rest and be kind to yourself right now too ♡

@RainbowMoonstone I have a group of friends on this site who all came through this thread.

Me and another poster both had three miscarriages in a row before our 'sticky' babies. I don't think she did anything different but I was taking aspirin and progesterone for this one. Can't say it was anything in particular that was wrong for either of us, just bad luck it seemed.

Two other posters had more miscarriages than that before their stickies. One had six, I think, but has now given birth to a lovely boy. The other had four and is currently pregnant. I know the second one was on steroids and medications for her thyroid and the first was undergoing investigations but I don't think had actually started anything at the time she fell pregnant with her son.

The two posters I mentioned seemed to get pregnant practically every time they tried like you've said you do. I wonder if you have the same 'unfussy uterus' as them in which the womb lining accepts any fertilised egg despite any chromosomal abnormalities.

@RainbowMoonstone im so sorry for your loss. Look after yourself. I totally get what you’re saying about feeling like having some hope can make it worse. It must be harder in the USA where you need to judge and choose your healthcare provider. I haven’t seen the word in your post, so sorry if this is something you’ve explored, have you been offered progesterone? www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage/taking-progesterone-early-pregnancy I’m in the UK and the NHS told me that is all they can offer in the first 16 weeks (I’d miscarried at 14 weeks and all had been well in 12 week scan and blood tests) if I start bleeding. I read this book after my miscarriage by a leading UK consultant and researcher on miscarriages, I found its explanations and info on studies helpful. www.amazon.co.uk/Miscarriage-What-every-Woman-needs-dp-1409175685/dp/1409175685/ref=dp_ob_title_bk It does mention in the prologue that BMI is the most consistent correlation the author has seen, but the information further in the book I think is worth reading on for.

I’ve had a scan at 11 weeks and things are good, the consultant gave me a scan photo to take home. So I am starting to let myself feel hopeful and excited but don’t think I can really relax until week 17.

I second progesterone - progesterone and aspirin. Used progesterone in my 5th pregnancy but it was a chemical and probably a chromosomal issue. Seems to be working in my 6th pregnancy though I’m scared to come off it x

@Hoping4amiracle I'm only just coming off it now at 27 weeks as I was so afraid 😅

@TheBirdintheCave did the consultant give you extra pessaries? Mine refused but I had kind of anticipated that so had a small stockpile … enough to see me through to 20 weeks. I’m thinking of cutting down to 1 a day! X

@Hoping4amiracle My EPU had my GP set them up on repeat prescription so I just ordered more when I ran out :) I'm currently down to one every other day and I have six left.

Hi can I join you? I lost my baby last summer at 16 weeks. I’m now 21 weeks in this one. I’m starting to be more positive now I can feel the baby move but I know how quickly things can change. In my last pregnancy, there was a heartbeat at my 16 week midwife appointment but then nothing on a routine 16 week scan a few days later.

But the thing I’m struggling with mostly is going into hospital (it’s been quite complicated so gone in a far amount). At my 20 week scan I couldn’t stop crying, not because I was worried about this pregnancy but because it brought back the previous one. Having the baby last year was weirdly fine, but I had to go back in a few days later and the staff were awful. Going in for post mortem results was awful too (and completely pointless because they found nothing wrong). My midwife appointments are at home so they’re fine.

sorry this is long. Everyone seems to think I need ‘reassurance’ and so more appointments and I don’t know how to say that actually I’m profoundly traumatised so they aren’t helping. I feel like if I begin to explain I’ll never stop. They didn’t get all the measurements they needed at my 20 week scan so I have to go back next week.

@TheBirdintheCave thank you for those stories, I really appreciate it. I’ve never heard of an “unfussy uterus” before, that’s very interesting! It looks like the research on hyper fertility is pretty limited, but there may be something there. I’ll have to wait and see what the lab results say regarding my tissue sample. If it turns out the embryo was non viable, then perhaps my womb is just a bit too hospitable. I’ve been taking a blend of chaste berry, maca, black haw bark, and raspberry leaf herbs off and on between pregnancies over the past year. I’m going to take this month off from them and maybe re evaluate if they’re actually helpful for me.

@BakeOffRewatch It’s true, the healthcare system here is really hard to navigate and it takes a lot of self advocacy to get your needs met. And I was on progesterone support this time around. I actually began taking the pessaries 3dpo in hopes of thickening my uterine lining. I was on progesterone in my previous pregnancy in November as well with lovenox injections. This pregnancy lasted a little more than a week longer than the one in November, but still it wasn’t enough. Thanks for the book recommendation too. I’m glad to hear your pregnancy is progressing well. That is so exciting that you have a little picture to admire! I hope that time moves swiftly to week 17 for you and you can fully enjoy your pregnancy 💞

Welcome @MizzMarple and sorry to hear you lost a baby at 16 weeks. It’s heartbreaking.

Any chance you could transfer to a different hospital - with this pregnancy i had moved house and was getting scanned at a local unit. When I became consultant lead I was moved back to the hospital that’s synonymous with loss for me but I was able to refer to another hospital - it just felt necessary as I couldn’t envisage anything positive coming from that hospital x

Thanks @Hoping4amiracle. I don’t really want to change hospital. I live very close to it and the care is great overall. I’m not sure how much of it that hospital and how much is hospitals in general anyway.

@MizzMarple welcomr. You sound like my twin. I found out at a private 16 week gender scan that my daughter had no heartbeat. She was born 2nd March last year. I’m currently 6+5 and terrified about scans. I am truly traumatised. The thought of an nhs scan is bad enough but the idea of a private one, I’m not even sure I could walk in the building to be honest!

Currently 18 weeks
Ivf pregnancy
pregnancy loss in January 23
18 years waiting for our little miracle. Were really hoping to bring this baby into the world
Have my anomaly scan next week. Very nervous

@Nic2908 I’m so sorry. At least with it being an NHS one I had lots of support around immediately. Hope it all goes well with you.

Hello,

Hoping someone can talk some sense in to me. I’ve got my 20 week scan this week and I’m really nervous about it. We had a scan last week (18 weeks) and the sonographer was kind and did a lot of checks, baby was small (just 20th percentile) but doing well. Still I’m worried that something gets picked up at this week - just can’t seem to relax into pregnancy xx

Hi all,
I had a miscarriage at the end of March this year when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I then got pregnant again before my next period, so I am unsure how far along I am. I think I am 5 weeks. I have not registered at the hospital yet, as I am afraid of another miscarriage. The last time I was pregnant, I had a bit of bleeding some mornings and went to the EPU and was scanned on 3 different occasions and the last internal scan I saw a heartbeat. The next evening, I started having cramps and heavy bleeding in the morning and was confirmed at the hospital that there was no more baby :(
I am anxious every single time I go to the toilet and I don't know how I am going to get through the next couple of months before I have a scan.
Not sure what I want from typing this, but I think it helps getting it out.
I started to feel nauseous when I found out but now its disappeared. I'm worried that I will miscarry. How do I get through this worry? Appreciate anyone who read my whole post. xx

Hello @bevmfdes , couldn’t read and run as I’ve experienced many of the same emotions.

I would say that you never get through worry, every time you reach one milestone your attention drifts to the next. In terms of coping, I would say I found ways to distract myself that helped keep me sane … reorganising wardrobes, redecorating bedrooms, a game app on my phone that I got totally addicted to, a lot of boxsets etc.

I pray you don’t experience any more loss xx

@bevmfdes
Hello, so sorry for your loss.
I have had two miscarriages, mostly recent was a MMC at 10 weeks last September. I then fell pregnant in November and I’m currently 27 weeks.
I suppose until I felt him moving I was anxious. The first trimester I had a private scan at 8 weeks and 10 weeks (partially due to anxiety but I had spotting) I found the scans showing growth helped a bit. I also had the mentality of what will happen will happen, I went to every early scan expecting bad news and somehow it helped. I suppose accepting it was out of my hands just made it feel less heavy a burden to carry.
For me it just took time and when you do feel them moving it makes a huge difference to your anxiety (for me anyway), but I remember how hard the first and even into the second trimester it was.
I wish you all the best with this pregnancy ❤️

Good morning. I'm 40 and my partners 49. I have 3 healthy boys aged 11, 8 and very nearly 7. A few months ago I found out I was pregnant and it was a huge shock to us both. I unfortunately miscarried at around 5 weeks and officially lost at 8 weeks. I was devastated. Made me realise I'm not done having babies. I'd like one more. I'm now pregnant again. I'm 5 weeks 1 day and so so nervous. I've started having small amounts of blood when wiping and it's freaking me out. Am I losing again? I have sore breasts, swollen bloated belly, feel a little sicky in the mornings, I'm also weeing a lot and get tired quick so the symptoms are there but the bleeding is freaking me out and I'm starting with dull aches in the lower abdomen. Has anyone else had this? Thanks in advance xx

I can't answer your question I'm afraid, but I just wanted to drop in and say I'm rooting for you. Also over 40, I had a missed miscarriage last month and it was devastating. I have heard that bleeding is very common in early pregnancy. Perhaps give your EPU a call if it gets any worse, they were incredibly kind and helpful with me. Good Luck.