Pregnancy after miscarriage - New support thread

[tulipsunday]

A new thread for those who are pregnant following miscarriage/s. Come and share your worries and joy with people who understand what you are going through.

It’s so lovely to start hearing about all of the scans. Mines not until 27th when I will be 8+4 it seems so late but that’s when EPU booked me for. Hopefully everything will be fine and I will be started on aspirin.

ive had a tough couple of emotional days, i keep having flash forwards to being told there’s not heartbeat all over again, then having to delivery and bury them all over again. I’m taking out the fear on everyone around me, unintentionally but I know I’m being a bitch to the ones I love the most. I don’t want to keep talking about loss, because I really wouldn’t want that to cause anyone else unwanted stress or worry. Pregnancy is already so hard isn’t it. I found out on 28th feb 2023, and she was born 02.03.23. I feel like I just need to get past those dates because I can feel them coming does that make sense?

I am sorry for the long post….. will try and finish on a positive note…erm… boobs…. My already humongous boobs are now even bigger, anyone else noted that?

@Nic17 I can’t speak for everyone here, but I can say for myself that I’m not offended by you sharing your stress here. I think it’s important to shed these thoughts from our minds so they don’t just swirl around unspoken, getting bigger and more difficult to cope with. You’re safe here and in good company.

I can also totally relate to getting through the “anniversaries” of our losses. September 28 was a painful day for me, as it would’ve been the due date for my first pregnancy last year. It’s crazy to think that if I had carried full term, I’d have a 5 month old right now. I lit a candle that day and took some time to myself to sit by the ocean. Grieving takes time and shows up in many different ways.

Regarding my hormone testing, I’ve only used the Mira once during this pregnancy. It’s meant to be used for ttc and identifying your fertile window and ovulation date. I feel fortunate that I used it this cycle because I had an LH surge on cycle day 14, so I assumed I was ovulating. But my progesterone did not rise at its supposed to. A week later, I had an even bigger LH surge and my progesterone did rise, which confirmed a late ovulation day! I started supplementing with progesterone pills 3 days after, which I think could be the reason this pregnancy is sticking longer. I wonder if I was having short luteal phases and not enough time for my body to create the progesterone required for stable implantation. Anyway, sometimes we have to be our own detectives to find out what’s going on. I haven’t had much help from my doctors.

@Hoping4amiracle have you had any contact about your NIPT result? I hope you're doing ok ♡

I'm 10+4 today which feels unreal. I'm also waiting on NIPT results. I am so grateful for this baby and only starting to let myself actually feel hopeful and not just negative/protecting my heart, but I keep thinking about the baby I lost in the end of summer. How I would have been about to have that baby in April, so soon. I wish I could just be happy in the moment.

@Nic2908 I had a late miscarriage too and totally relate about marking dates. It happened mid 2022 but I didn’t feel emotionally ready to TTC in 2023 the year that was meant to be the birthdate of my baby. I found when it happened that whilst there was lots of information and anecdotal experiences for early miscarriages, and lots of support services for stillbirth, there wasn’t much about the experience of late miscarriage and the physical effects on your body and the trauma. I remember trying to find similar experience on Tommy’s and on this forum at the time, because there were lots of things I felt awful about that were specific to miscarrying in 2nd trimester. You deserve to enjoy this pregnancy. Can you access CBT services via your GP or privately? I hope everything goes well with your scan x

Hello,

Apologies ladies I thought I had updated this thread with news.
Unbelievably NIPT came back as low risk, we then had a detailed scan with the consultant which showed no soft markers for a chromosomal abnormality. Consultant said that coupled with low risk NIPT and normal nuchal translucency it was ‘unlikely’ – however still offered us an amnio as that is the only sure way to rule anything out. We declined, which was a hard choice given how anxious I am but any risk of miscarriage just felt like too big a gamble to take given how many losses we'd had.

xx

@Nic2908 I am so sorry to read of your fear you will be told there is no heartbeat. I think the scanxiety is with all of us and there's nothing I can say to make that any easier but this is a safe space so when those dark thoughts creep in someone will be here to listen. xx

I really do feel guilty talking about anxiety at 17 weeks as I know I held so much hope that when I got to 2nd trimester I'd relax and it hasn't really happened. However, every person and pregnancy is different and with the passing of time/milestones you might relax a bit more than me. xx

I was planning to call and schedule my 7 week ultrasound today, but now I don’t see the point. I woke up this morning to pink discharge and cramping. The discharge has gotten more red over the past couple of hours. This would be loss #5.

I'm so sorry @RainbowMoonstone maybe it's still worth checking? I've heard some people bleed and all be ok?

@siobhanmt247 maybe… but I was given false hope so many times in the past and it just makes inevitable loss so much worse. I’ll consider giving them a call, but I might just break down in sobs. This just sucks and I can’t believe I might be going through this for a 5th time. 1 is too many. But 5….

@RainbowMoonstone was your scan private or epau? I think epau would be more open with you. Are you still bleeding? X

@RainbowMoonstone I am so sorry to hear this and praying the bleeding doesn’t get heavier. I don’t know what to say, I had five miscarriages before this pregnancy and it’s soul destroying.

How is the bleeding and cramping now? Xx

Thanks @Hoping4amiracle. I’ve been off and on crying all day. The pain is increasing in intensity and becoming more and more difficult to bear. I’m just lying on the couch with my feet reclined and a heat pad on my lower abdomen. The bleeding is getting thicker, darker, and starting to leave spots on a panty liner (vs only when I wipe). I know that bleeding can be common in early pregnancy, but given my history I don’t want to cling to desperate hope. I just want this to be over with. A month ago I scheduled an appointment to meet with an IVF specialist, which is coming up at the end of this month. I really wanted a natural conception, but I’m so tired of this 😭

@RainbowMoonstone thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing how you spent your time honouring your baby. part2- I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Absolutely we are there holding your hand. Have you phoned epu??

@WolfMother326 i hope everything goes your way with the nipt results. I’ve had the test both times now and found out the gender at the same time. I’ve found that it really helped me to bond with the baby. will you find out the gender?

@Hoping4amiracle thank you for your kind words.

It can be common but I’m all to aware that you know your body @RainbowMoonstone. Have you had any investigations into the recurrent losses? X

@Nic17 I’m not actually familiar with what EPU is… I live in the states FYI. I have not been in touch with any doctors. I did message my acupuncturist this morning, and she reminded me that spotting in early pregnancy is common and often nothing to worry about. She recommended I rest and monitor my symptoms, which seems like a good way to go. I could probably get an ultrasound asap if I really wanted one, but I’m in so much pain I really don’t want to leave the house (let alone the couch). I haven’t passed any clots or tissue, so there is a chance this could clear up on its own. I’m not feeling optimistic though. When the pain and bleeding stop, I’ll get myself checked out.

@Hoping4amiracle I’ve had a bunch of blood tests done and a hysteroscopy. My uterus looks normal and my blood panels look good too. No thyroid issues (I insisted they check multiple times because my mom has hypothyroidism). Husband and I also had genetic karyotyping done and we aren’t a match for any genetic diseases. The fertility specialist I’ve been working with for the past 6 months has been dismissive of my concerns and at all helpful (he basically just told me I have bad luck). The IVF doctor I’m meeting at the end of this month is a different doctor (and female). I’m hoping she will be easier to work with and talk to. One of my big concerns is that my AMH is on the lower side of normal for my age (1.0) and if I am to pursue IVF, there isn’t much time (or eggs) left. It’s really devastating to think that this journey may be almost over already.

Keep fighting @RainbowMoonstone .

I don’t know if this is called something different in the states but after our fourth miscarriage the midwife recommended we get uNK cells tested. Read a few threads on here where it helped women x

Thank you @Hoping4amiracle and @Nic17 . I decided to be brave and called my doctor. They weren’t able to get me in today, but got me an appointment for tomorrow morning. I’m still in a lot of pain and my flow seems pretty steady. Still no clots or tissue. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get some sleep tonight.

Update: I miscarried.
The pregnancy tissue passed about 4 hours ago. I managed to collect it and have it in the fridge in a saline bath. Instead of an ultrasound tomorrow, I’ll be going in to get the contents tested and to get my bloodwork done to make sure my hcg is back down again. Thanks for all your support everyone. This is tremendously hard.

@RainbowMoonstone I am so so sorry. Take great care of yourself xxxx

I'm so sorry @RainbowMoonstone

@RainbowMoonstone I'm so sorry :( Look after yourselves.

I’m so sorry @RainbowMoonstone - I hope you find some answers as to why this happens.

Be kind to yourself xx

@RainbowMoonstone I'm so sorry. This is really unfair. It sounds like you've been through so much. Can you ask Dr for referral for extra testing and investigations? I'm also from the US but live in the UK. I'm not sure what you've had done yet but a friend of mine there who suffers recurrent miscarriages is seeing an OBGYN and a naturopath to try and figure out the cause and solutions.