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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy After Miscarriage - Knicker Checkers Anonymous Part III

1000 replies

lackaDAISYcal · 14/03/2008 18:32

Hi everyone.....roll up here for your passport to check your knickers on an hourly basis

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
makecakesnotwar · 02/04/2008 17:03

I know popsy [super excited emoticon]...though would take me forever to type!!!! Sucks about having to tell your boss though....would say I'm glad I work for myself but am nearing suicide point about bloody maternity allowance forms.

Tjuice- I practised on my elbow, but Debs (June thread) said she tested on her DH which I think is a genius idea!!!!

Dondons...hope you don't have four weeks to wait...have you started on all the old wives tales yet??

KashaSarrasin · 02/04/2008 17:11

Hi everyone

Congratulations on your scans ronshar and lulu and hope you don't have to wait too long dondons! kate any news? I've been thinking about you a lot and hoping that you are OK. (((hugs))) xxx

I've had a very dramatic few days. On Monday afternoon I stood up after being sat down for a while and had a massive gush of bright red blood (I'm 18 weeks) . Phoned midwife in complete panic who told me to go to A&E. We had a 4 hour wait in A&E during which the bleeding continued, by the time I was seen by the doc it was literally gushing out of me even lying down. I got admitted and had to wait another very anxious few hours to see an ObGyn who fortunately managed to find a nice strong fetal heartbeat straight away with the Doppler which was a huge relief. The bleeding lessened over Monday night but we had to wait till Tuesday pm to get an ultrasound, which showed baby fine and kicking away, placenta seems fine but there's a large clot on my cervix (inside) which seems to be the source of the bleed. They wanted to keep me in until the bleeding had completely stopped for 24 hours, but I think they had a bed crisis as I was discharged this morning still bleeding, although it's more like spotting now. I'm feeling OK but very tired, I didn't get much sleep in hospital and it looks like I lost quite a bit of blood.

This is the third big bleed I've had this pregnancy and my nerves are basically shot to s**t! I swear the number of grey hairs I have has doubled. I'm now 18 weeks and have had 6 scans! with scan no 7 booked for a week on Friday, which is my official 20 week scan. I'm just hoping I can have a normal(ish) pregnancy from now on. Sigh.

perkypopsy · 02/04/2008 17:28

oh god kasha bloody hell you have been thru the mill - what is it someone said earlier about it being so hard to have a baby???? - hope things settle asap!

MCNW have to remind myself that ML is different for everyone - if someone had just said 7 weeks ago - this is your situ - SMP only - would have been gutted but could have stopped fretting - at the mo i wake up in middle of night playing thru various scenarios grrrrr

DonDons · 02/04/2008 17:39

poor you kasha - that must have been awful - hope you are welded to sofa and DO NOT MOVE.

have all the kit in to start on the old wives tales (hence pineapple today!) pmsl laughing at DH at weekend - he was reading my pregnancy bible and got to the bit about sperm causing cervix to soften, he looked at me with completely straight face and said - 'I'll be looking forward to my blow job then'. What a muppet

goingfor3 · 02/04/2008 17:59

KashaSarrasin I am really shocked that you had to wait so long to be seen [shocked], but great news that they found the source of the bleed and baby is doing well.

cricri · 02/04/2008 18:07

Kasha Sorry to hear about your horrendous experience, it sounds awful. Glad to hear baby is OK though. Hope you're taking it easy on that sofa now!
Ronshar Great news about your scan

makecakesnotwar · 02/04/2008 18:21

God, Kasha- what a mare! You must be exhausted with nerves...."healthy and well, healthy and well" (HTH!!)

Popsy- at this point I realy couldn't give a toss, but determined to get what I can from government as DH is high rate tax payer and has earned it!!!!!

ronshar · 02/04/2008 19:39

Hi all. I am having a baby.

Thats all I wanted to say really.

Speaking from hard experience stay away from the caster oil. It only makes you poo, alot. I had to have two sweeps with DD2. I was determined to stay out of hospital. So a two mile walk pre sweep seemed to have the desired effect. I think I bounced poor DD2 out!

ronshar · 02/04/2008 19:40

Kasha love I hope you are sitting down and not moving off that sofa!

Why do men always think of blow jobs when you mention sperm?????

EllieG · 02/04/2008 21:16

Woo! Ronshar! That's great news. So pleased for you

Can't believe how far up the list I am....I remember when was right down the bottom and thought would NEVER happen....it's been the longest and shortest 9 months ever, if that makes any sense!

EllieG · 02/04/2008 21:17

LOL - my DP thought meant blow jobs too. What a numpty

kate2179 · 02/04/2008 23:02

Evening ladies, update time from the land of me - but no good news to report . Had the scan on monday and despite the fact that beanie is still measuring right for dates and there was still a hb consultant is "increasingly pessimistic" about the outcome. I told him that was what he said last week. He said that there def isn't the amount of fluid there should be, nor the amount of movement from beanie who always seems to be quite scrunched up so hard to get a really good look at him/her. He said that from experience the more he scans me the more it just doesn't look right .
So... have another appt next wed with the senior consultant when will be 15.5 weeks to see if heart is still beating. If so will make the decision re CVS/amnio, with reduced fluid and given the position of my placenta (to the front and high) they may find it easier to do a trans-abdominal CVS than anything else. Then 10 days for results....

The long case I've been working on for ages (this is week 7) should finish either next week or the week after, then I am clearing my diary til June [how-on-earth-will-we-pay-the-mortgage emoticon].
The next big-ish case I have starts on 21st April for 10 days and that's right when we should get amnio results so I don't see how I can start it.
I've been planning on taking May off for a couple of weeks - we're on holiday for the last 2 weeks and meant to be moving house in the first two, so I just decided f**k it. Looks like I won't have to pay for maternity leave anyway...
Am planning on going to a naturopathic centre in Winchester once this is all over to see what they can offer me, then will wait a few months before trying again.

We're meant to be going to a wedding in Sept 2.5 weeks before beanie is/was due - DH is an usher. Not sure I could cope with it if I'm not pg anyway as it's so close to my due date, but the groom's sister-in-law is 4 weeks behind me and so will be about ready to pop. What makes it worse is that I feel like somehow it's down to me, though I know how ridiculous that sounds. They only got married last May and have always said they'd wait a few years before babies but when we saw them at Christmas after my first mc I drunkenly went on to them A LOT about how they shouldn't wait if it's something they want, cos you never know what will happen/how long it will take, lok at us... etc etc. If only I'd kept my big mouth shut Hope that doesn't sound too egotistical.

Would really appreciate hearing from those of you who have been through a 2nd/3rd trimester mc about how you decided whether or not to see your baby once it was born and whether you feel you made the right decision - though not sure this thread is the appropriate place. Can't decide what to do. Consultant says they encourage people to see their babies as otherwise what they imagine can be much worse, but am worried the image will haunt me through any subsequent pregnancies...
Am really starting to show now, clothes don't fit, suit increasingly uncomfortable, but feel like a fraud wearing maternity clothes and don't want to assume we'll be able to get pregnant again and spend money on something I may never again have the opportunity to wear...
Why is this so hard?
Sorry - again - for the long and depressing post, though I suspect you're all used to it now from me

On a lighter note, huge congrats to those who have had positive scans lately - esp to Popsy and splishy , and kasha I'm so glad your LO is ok, I can imagine how terrifying that must have been for you.

Oblomov · 03/04/2008 09:16

So sorry Kate.
All my petty grumbles have faded into insignificance in relation to your situation.I think your feelings re wedding are totally understandable. And not depressing at all. We are all here to support eachother, and that is what it is all about.

cricri · 03/04/2008 09:24

Kate, thanks for the update and sorry to hear it's not good news
I think taking some time out for yourself in May is a great idea. Stuff work - you're more important at the moment.
As Oblomov says, your feelings about the wedding are totally understandable under the circumstances.
Cece on the MC Avengers thread may be able to help with your question about late mc after what she went through with Hope. I'm sure she wouldn't mind answering your questions.
(((hugs))) to you.

makecakesnotwar · 03/04/2008 09:25

Kate- so wish I could do more than send my love. And thanks for the full and frank explanantion. Whilst I cannot imagine what you are going through, I can at least understand. I really think that you will need the time you have so sensibly cleared, and I totally get why you aren't keen on the wedding. I bailed on a couple last summer after my mc.

It's so jolly hard. I am thinking of you. With all love xxx

DonDons · 03/04/2008 10:04

Kate, so sorry you are having to go through this and I also think that taking some time off for yourselves in May is a good idea. Sod work - no job was ever so important as looking after yourself and your DP.

I can also understand your feelings regarding the wedding too - I guess the only thing is that September is a while away so try not to worry about it now and maybe decide what to do nearer the time if you can. You may feel differently about it then. Lots of hugs to you.

goingfor3 · 03/04/2008 11:15

kate2179 I'm so sorry to hear your news . I've had two late miscarriages, one at 20 weeks and one at 16 weeks. The 20 week mc was first pregnancy and had contractions for about 24 hours before baby arrived, it was spontanious and the baby was born alive so I held him while he died. I have pictues and hand/foot prints but have only loked at them twice since it happened 8 years ago. My second late mc happened last July, it was also spontanious but had a very much shorter labour than with any of my others, probably about 1 1/2 hours. I also saw him and even though he was totally bruised I am very glad I did. If I hadn't seen my babies I would always wonder what they were like so I am very glad I did. Pain releif wise as much morphine as possible was the best for me. I feel very sad for you and if you want to ask anything else then please do.

perkypopsy · 03/04/2008 12:33

Kate so sorry you are going through this - you are right to cancel work and don't even think about weddings etc for now - you are the most important thing. I went to several weddings and events last year including hen do and wedding of BF when I was bridesmaid and I was a total wreck and didn't enjoy any of it (I felt I was missing a baby) was a heavily PG girl there with same due date as mine and I could not say hello to her - was also a bit of a loose cannon on the booze all last year too
HUGE hugs to you xxxx

TJuice · 03/04/2008 16:12

kate - thoughts and positive vibes with you. xoxoxo

KashaSarrasin · 03/04/2008 16:57

Oh Kate I'm so sorry. I hope they can give you some definitive answers soon so that you can make whichever decision is right for you. You have all my support and best wishes. xxx

I'm doing OK, the bleeding has virtually stopped now but I'm taking it very easy and resting lots. I realised last night though that Tuesday was actually the EDD of my first m/c , and that I spent the EDD in the maternity unit without even noticing . I guess it must have been some kind of mental self-preservation thing kicking in to block it out, because if I had realised I'd have been in an even worse state.

Lots of love to everyone else.

divedaisy · 03/04/2008 22:07

Hi gals - Kate that is terrible news. BIg loving thoughts to you with a BIG HUG xx

Still bleeding... But tummy is overflowing trousers esp in the evening... don#t know whats going on here, but will find out tomorrow at 12 when I have my next scan. Will let you all know. Away to bed xx

divedaisy · 03/04/2008 22:13

OK I'm scared shtless, but yet calm - does that make any sense? I hope Bump is still there, but if not I think I'll be OK. I hope that doesn't jinx the outcome, but its out of my hands - there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop the bleeding - does standing on your head for a week help!? Compared to Kate my situation feels minor only being 7 weeks... Hubby kees saying it'll be ok - how does he know? Also I really want him to be a real* man and admit 'yeh babe I;m scared too', but he lost his father mid Feb, so it may be too much for him to admit to... hmm just thought that might be how hes feeling I hadnt thought of it that way b4.

OK enough deep thought for now - need my sleep. xx

kate2179 · 04/04/2008 08:15

Thank you ladies. Daisy will be thinking of you at 12pm. Your situation is not minor - we all know on here how much the early weeks drag, when I first found out I was pregnant both times 7 weeks seemed like a lifetime away. There is always someone worse off, plenty of people worse off than me too, but that doesn't mean that what you are going through is any less scary or any less real. (((hugs))) to you, really hoping for a positive outcome for you xxx

p2b · 04/04/2008 08:16

Kate

Really sorry to hear that your latest scan hasn't given more positive news. The waiting on top of the worry is very cruel. When I had my medical miscarriage, found at 20 wk scan, I did not choose to see my baby. In fact I have to say it was never even suggested until after it had arrived. However, it had been dead inside me for approx 5 weeks and I was actually referred to the EPU rather than a 'labour ward'. In the circumstances of my miscarriage I personally don't think it would have been helpful for me to have seen my baby and I don't regret this. However, I was only approximately 15 weeks.

I am of course still hoping that your scan next week reveals more positive news.

cricri · 04/04/2008 08:35

Daisy Hope you managed to get some sleep. Good luck for later and let us know how you get on. Fingers crossed for you.

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