Evening ladies, update time from the land of me - but no good news to report . Had the scan on monday and despite the fact that beanie is still measuring right for dates and there was still a hb consultant is "increasingly pessimistic" about the outcome. I told him that was what he said last week. He said that there def isn't the amount of fluid there should be, nor the amount of movement from beanie who always seems to be quite scrunched up so hard to get a really good look at him/her. He said that from experience the more he scans me the more it just doesn't look right .
So... have another appt next wed with the senior consultant when will be 15.5 weeks to see if heart is still beating. If so will make the decision re CVS/amnio, with reduced fluid and given the position of my placenta (to the front and high) they may find it easier to do a trans-abdominal CVS than anything else. Then 10 days for results....
The long case I've been working on for ages (this is week 7) should finish either next week or the week after, then I am clearing my diary til June [how-on-earth-will-we-pay-the-mortgage emoticon].
The next big-ish case I have starts on 21st April for 10 days and that's right when we should get amnio results so I don't see how I can start it.
I've been planning on taking May off for a couple of weeks - we're on holiday for the last 2 weeks and meant to be moving house in the first two, so I just decided f**k it. Looks like I won't have to pay for maternity leave anyway...
Am planning on going to a naturopathic centre in Winchester once this is all over to see what they can offer me, then will wait a few months before trying again.
We're meant to be going to a wedding in Sept 2.5 weeks before beanie is/was due - DH is an usher. Not sure I could cope with it if I'm not pg anyway as it's so close to my due date, but the groom's sister-in-law is 4 weeks behind me and so will be about ready to pop. What makes it worse is that I feel like somehow it's down to me, though I know how ridiculous that sounds. They only got married last May and have always said they'd wait a few years before babies but when we saw them at Christmas after my first mc I drunkenly went on to them A LOT about how they shouldn't wait if it's something they want, cos you never know what will happen/how long it will take, lok at us... etc etc. If only I'd kept my big mouth shut Hope that doesn't sound too egotistical.
Would really appreciate hearing from those of you who have been through a 2nd/3rd trimester mc about how you decided whether or not to see your baby once it was born and whether you feel you made the right decision - though not sure this thread is the appropriate place. Can't decide what to do. Consultant says they encourage people to see their babies as otherwise what they imagine can be much worse, but am worried the image will haunt me through any subsequent pregnancies...
Am really starting to show now, clothes don't fit, suit increasingly uncomfortable, but feel like a fraud wearing maternity clothes and don't want to assume we'll be able to get pregnant again and spend money on something I may never again have the opportunity to wear...
Why is this so hard?
Sorry - again - for the long and depressing post, though I suspect you're all used to it now from me
On a lighter note, huge congrats to those who have had positive scans lately - esp to Popsy and splishy , and kasha I'm so glad your LO is ok, I can imagine how terrifying that must have been for you.