IVF pregnancies - Spring 2024 (thread 2)

[thislittlebird]

New thread! Do tag everyone I've missed, I'm off out to see the new Hunger Games so can add more later but need to dash! @CazzyM1983 @KG1244 @countrypunk @Misty84 @ASGIRC @TheBirdintheCave @Summerishere83

We're good! M is eight weeks old on Friday. She's now smiling and cooing and is starting to get chunky 😍 Still rocking the monk hair and no eyebrows look though 😂

@thislittlebird I rang the infant feeding team at the hospital where I had her and made an appointment. They did ask a lot of questions and did a physical assessment (which they needed to do to justify the NHS funding I suppose)?
We went to the appointment and I fully expected to be asked to feed her and talk through the feeding issues, butvthe burse took one look at her mouth and said ‘That’s a very prominent tie, that needs dividing’ I was very happy as it was causing issues for both of us and fully expected to be talked out of it by the ‘team’ and told there were no issues.
The nurse explained the procedure and it was done straight away, then I fed her and the relief was instant for both of us. Since then she has gained lots of weight and is very chubby now!
I don’t know if the procedure is the same where you are, but I can’t imagine they would assess then make another appointment?
Good luck, let us know how you get on!

@PollywithaP the thing is, it’s taken so many weeks to hear from them that my supply has dropped right off after my pump stopped functioning properly and the appointment isn’t until the 29th. I feel so stressed that they might ask me to feed her but I won’t have a supply at that stage. They want me to new breastfeeding 4 times a day and meeting 50% of her milk needs which we’re obviously not doing when I barely have any supply and she can’t breastfeed. The criteria is ridiculous, how can she breastfeed if she can’t do it with the tongue tie? We can do it with nipple shields but it wouldn’t necessarily work for all tongue tie babies.

So I’m sat here stressing they’ll make me prove she can feed from me and maybe she can’t. When you say physical assessment that was of the baby’s tongue?

@TheBirdintheCave mine has the monk hair too lmao

@Doughnut89 wow 12 weeks, how’s he sleeping? Baby E sleeps through for 5 hours which we are grateful for!

Did you have it done in London? Did they make you feed her after? The info sheet says they will and it’s really worrying me since we’ve ended up in this situation where I have no milk. Or nearly none.

@thislittlebird they didn’t specifically ask me to feed after, but I had to as she was crying and also because I had to take her hungry for the appointment and I was leaking! Can you continue with the nipple shields to increase your supply before the appointment?
The physical assessment was a look in her mouth and a sort of suck test with the nurses gloved finger. There were a lot of questions for me too, a questionnaire with ratings for certain answers which were addrd up at the end. She had lost more than 10% of her birth weight so they were keen to get her feeding asap!
One of my friends got her baby’s tongue tie done privately in West Berkshire I think it was £100. The lady is a private midwife and also a breastfeeding consultant too. I can pass details if that’s any good for you?

@PollywithaP I dread taking her there hungry, she's going to be unimpressed. They said they'd send me info about the appointment but they haven't.

That's what I'm doing, I'm putting her on with the nipple shields at present so there's some supply to speak of. She's definitely getting something out, but I doubt it's a lot, since she has a whole bottle or almost whole after.

What sort of stuff was the questionnaire about?

West Berkshire is a bit far away, but you can pass me the details and I can always search if they work in London, in case they do, and in case Kings send us packing.

@thislittlebird i will be honest with you, at my tongue tie appt, they did ask me to feed him straight after but they said this was partly to do with the fact that breast milk would help heal it. I’m sure they can’t force you to feed.
I’ve had to use nipple shields because of his latch but the midwife in the room at the appt helped me get him on without it. But that was the last time he managed to feed without a nipple shield. He still continued to prefer using them after that even with the tongue tie gone. Which I’m a little sad about but at least I still get to keep feeding him myself.
That’s really great that your baby’s sleeping for 5 hours! My boy does 4 hour stints overnight which I don’t really mind because at least I’m still getting 8 hours sleep, even if it is broken

@Doughnut89 id be fine with that tbh, but my supply is so low now that I can’t see it existing in a couple of weeks’ time 😭. I’m kind of done with breastfeeding tbh, I hated pumping and it made me quite miserable really. I haven’t touched the pump in days. Yesterday I breastfed her using shields before most feeds but today I just don’t want to. I feel bad for her, I quite like breastfeeding her, but I am providing so little and it takes a long time that it seems like a lot of work to maintain the supply for little return.

I wonder if they’re just easier to latch on to so some babies prefer them? I feel like she might be like that too.

4 + 4 isn’t too bad. She did 5 1/2 today, I have no idea how she knows to sleep longer at night because she feeds every three hours roughly in the daytime. I don’t think I’m getting 8, maybe 6, which is passable. Her sleeping through was another reason my supply dropped off from what it was, I wasn’t doing the 1-3am feed thing.

Did your baby have to do exercises and stuff after? How was that? I don’t even know if I want to go ahead with the tongue tie right now, I’m so worried about the appointment

@thislittlebird i think you just need to do what’s right for you. If you’re finding it difficult to produce enough and formula seems to be working, then carry on with that. I’m combination feeding because my boy wasn’t putting on enough weight. I always said it would be temporary until he put enough on but I’m still doing it, it does make it easier knowing he’s definitely at least getting something when I don’t know how much he’s getting from me. Fed is best at the end of the day.

if you’re worried about the tongue tie appointment and you’re not sure it will make much difference at this point then she doesn’t need to have it. There are lots of adults with tongue tie who never got it done because people didn’t even realise it was a thing back in the day.
But if it were me, I’d probably still go because what’s the worst that can happen? They tell you she can’t have it done and then you’re no worse off than if you’d decided not to go. Does that make sense?

@thislittlebird Wise words there from @Doughnut89 Fed is best, don’t worry about using formula (I know it’s hard not to). As long as baby is happy and you are too then that’s what matters.

Agree that fed is fed!

Since week one I’ve been mixing breast feeding & formula. It actually works great. I can quickly start feeding with breast when the baby cries. My partner can then prepare formula and he can feed the baby too.

It also means when the baby is fussy & a bit upset but not that hungry, I can feed a little to calm the baby.

I’ve been buying bottles of pre-made formula. Starting to use powder using the Nuby system to help. The thermos can be filled when boiled water is the right temp. Rapid cool gets formula ready to feed quick.

@thislittlebird Id just go to the appointment. It’s just more information. Tongue tie affect bottle feeding as well. I believe they look at a range of factors before intervening.

Hope you’re all doing well ♥️ can’t believe how quickly time goes! Are any of you in a routine with your babas? Mine will not go to sleep for the night until about 10pm which is making me feel like a failure when others seem to get their babies down around 7-8pm. Any advice gratefully received! x

@CollsR it’s on Monday and I’m really torn. Maybe we should go and explain what happened. I just feel like they’re going to be awful to me because I’m not in the special breastfeeder club.

@KG1244 I don’t think mine is old enough for a 7pm bedtime at 10 weeks just yet. She sleeps for 5-6 hours at night but that’s after her last feed, she’s done that from 6 weeks without us doing anything to encourage it. But in the evening she may or may not be awake, sometimes she’ll do a dream feed at midnight, other times she’ll still be awake leading up to that feed.

@thislittlebird They shouldn’t be horrible to you. I’ve in person mum friends and some don’t breastfeed and have not got any negative attitudes from doctors, nurses or midwives.

Also, a friend of a friend had a baby with tongue tie. They gave up breastfeeding as it was too hard, then bottle feeding was hard, then they got the diagnosis and things got better: they didn’t get any negative stuff.

You have done nothing wrong! Don’t let anyone try tell you any different.

@KG1244 Nah they're still too little for a proper bedtime. You're not a failure.

Right now Marcie (10 weeks tomorrow) might sleep from around 9pm then have a little feed around 11pm before either waking at 5.30-6.30 for a feed and going back to sleep OR sleeping through til 7.

Some nights she just gets cranky but wont actually sleep until 11ish.

It's pot luck! 😂

@KG1244 my little boy is 14 weeks today. He had for the last couple of weeks been going down at 7/8pm but this week he won’t go down until 9pm earliest. I don’t think they need a routine just yet. If my boy is happy staying awake until 9 and gets cranky if I try to put him down before that then I’m just going to continue to put him down then 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you all. I feel a lot better! It’s hard when Instagram makes you think all babies are sleeping 7-7 by 8 weeks 🙃

@KG1244 wow, your Instagram feed is messed up! my little man is 11 weeks old and his longest sleep is 4 1/2 hours.

@CollsR my LO is 13 weeks and similar, 4.5-5 hrs. It’s more that I feel like I’m doing something wrong cause he goes to sleep so late

@KG1244 i saw a funny video about the instagram stuff, will see if i can find it

Baby laughed today for the first time at a bath toy, so cute 😭

@CollsR the thing is, they have all this criteria to even get the referral and you have to be providing at least 50% of her food as breast milk. So I can’t see them letting us have the op when she gets there, especially since I can no longer breast feed her after. My mum suddenly remembered today that my day had a tongue tie 😩

@thislittlebird Aww we had the first laugh on Monday! It's just so cute isn't it! Only got two more out of her since though 😂

@TheBirdintheCave two more is impressive! I feel like she nearly did it again a little while ago when I was being silly but it didn’t quite happen. It was so unexpected, she just really loved that water mill style bath toy I guess lol

Aww @thislittlebird and @TheBirdintheCave you are so lucky you’ve had laughs. That’s the milestone I’m looking forward to most!
my boy smiles loads and pulls facial expressions like he’s laughing at me but he hasn’t made an audible giggle yet. Hopefully it will be soon though 🤞

@Doughnut89 Sounds like it won't be long! I hope your little boy laughs soon! 😬

I have the sweetest video of my son around four months absolutely cracking up at me pulling out a tape measure and letting it go 😂

I’ve had quite a lot of laughs from my girl, it always seems to be just before a (breast) feed. I think she’s laughing at my ‘assets’ 🤣 I need to record it on video but it’s quite difficult without getting the boob in too. Definitely not a video for the in laws!