IVF pregnancies - Spring 2024 (thread 2)

[thislittlebird]

New thread! Do tag everyone I've missed, I'm off out to see the new Hunger Games so can add more later but need to dash! @CazzyM1983 @KG1244 @countrypunk @Misty84 @ASGIRC @TheBirdintheCave @Summerishere83

Just saw you have a second thread.
Sorry for repeating myself.
Has anyone measured behind at 12 week scan?
I had a scan at 13 weeks exactly and I'm only measuring 12w2 days.
Had 2 scans before this and baby was measuring perfectly but growth seems to have slipped behind now.
My midwife just isn't giving me an reassurances as to weather this is normal or not. She first told me its likely my dates are wrong as we ovulate different times but since its ivf dates are exact and caluculated by clinic themselves

@MoonstoneAndRoseQuartz sorry to hear you’re worried about this. Can you speak to a different midwife or GP? I don’t know what’s normal or not, unfortunately, but it might be variable at this stage.

@CollsR oh you’re definitely not alone! The infertility bubble took over my life, I still can’t really accept I’m on the other side of it. It will be a huge bomb going off for us too. We’ve lived on our own for ten years, we have a very low stress life really. I’m worried about how it’ll be after May, but it is what it is now, just hoping I adapt ok to it all. I also never really wanted babies, I sort of focussed on the 3 or 4 (ish) year old kids as something I would like to have, babies just scare me.

Like @ASGIRC I don’t know what to say to the bump. It’s just there, occasionally making me uncomfortable. It’s abstract for me too, I certainly don’t love the bump (sorry to the bump), it’s just something that’s happening to me at this stage.

I desperately wanted to keep active in pregnancy but I haven’t managed it. Between the wet weather, chritstmas, and now this 2 weeks of having a horrible cold, I’ve barely moved. I emailed my Pilates teacher asking if I could come back to class now I’m over 20 weeks and she didn’t reply.

Does anyone else here worry about stupid stuff? I feel like a fool. I’m sat here tonight fretting about how my fairly nice belly button is going to get all messed up as my belly stretches. It’s ridiculous, I find all this random stuff to worry about.

@MoonstoneAndRoseQuartz I don’t think this is anything to worry about. They are small & fast moving at around 12 weeks so measurements aren’t exact. Also I found nurses & doctors don’t often explain when stuff is normal or okay as it’s so obvious to them. I’ve learned to ask any question I want.

@thislittlebird I still worry if the bump is okay. I wonder when I’ll properly pop. I’ve also been fairly inactive lately. It’s hard in the cold & Ive still boxes to unpack after moving house. I can understand you worrying about physical changes in yourself. I’ve thought about post birth hair loss… I’ve fairly thin hair to begin.

@CollsR how many weeks are you now? Yeah, I’m also in the stupid thin hair gang. Mine is very fine and thin tbh, and dark blonde, I can’t afford to lose any more hair. I keep reading the week by week updates and they say “your hair will become thicker and shinier around now” and I have to laugh, it really will not. I’m just hoping my kid gets my husband’s hair!

@CollsR If it helps at all, it's not a given that you'll lose hair. I kept waiting for it to happen but it didn't thankfully.

@thislittlebird Your belly button should go back to normal. Mine stretched totally flat with my son which was amusing but looked like it always did once my stomach shrank.

I’ve also noticed they don’t explain when things are ok. I asked my midwife to talk to me more about my trisomy test results because I don’t understand much about them (they were something like 1/2700 and 1/5000) and she just looked at me and went “what don’t you understand?” as if I’d asked a really stupid question and I thought ??????? Why are you questioning me about this? I’m a 40 yo FTM, maybe some discussion would be beneficial to me since I’m telling you I’m confused.

@MoonstoneAndRoseQuartz i hate that they don’t explain things properly and just brush everything off. Are you on Facebook? I’m in a group called the village and I noticed there are some midwives in there. Maybe you could ask a general question there and get feedback from a few perspectives and that might help reassure you or let you know you need to worry? My guess would be not to worry at this stage but obviously I have no clue what I’m talking about.

@thislittlebird i can give you the longest list of things that I worry about and when I vocalise them to talk them out I then feel like a crazy person lol I spent two weeks not going out the house because I was worried I’d fall over. I’ve never randomly fell over in my life so I don’t know what that’s about.
my latest anxiety is checking baby is moving ok. And being fixated on if I have had enough exercise to stop my blood going gloopy. And blood clots. Lots of worry about random blood clots. I don’t think people appreciate the additional stress of being an ivf mum. You get made to feel like oh women have been doing this for years it’s fine but then you get left standing there like hellloooo I’m scared and have no idea what I’m doing and I really don’t trust some of the inconsistent answers I’m getting!

@CazzyM1983 Have you been advised to take asprin? That helps with blood flow. I think a few of us here are taking it under midwife/consultant advice.
I totally get the worrying, it’s understandable after dealing with infertility for so long. You will be pleased to know it doesn’t go away after the birth either 😞 you just end up with a whole load more things to worry over. If you can find ways of coping now that will really help once baby is here!
I was never explained my trisomy test results at all, just got a ‘letter’ on the badger notes app and nothing else.

@thislittlebird 1/2700 or 1/5000 means that you have a 1 in 2700 chance of having a baby with that issue. Which translates to very very unlikely.
Most doctors will not worry with anything below 1000.
My chances were 1/20000, but thats because I used a 22yo donor! So her age played a BIG part!

My hair has not become any thicker or shinier or anything.

The only thing that happened was that it stopped FALLING OUT in the past 4 or so weeks!

@CazzyM1983 you’ve just reminded me that I worry about blood clots and stuff! I’ve been unwell for two weeks now, I’ve not eaten very well in that time and barely left the house. Need to get better at what I’m eating and how active I am but I’m still not feeling well.

@PollywithaP I really think they should reassure you that it’s ok and unlikely etc, or whatever, the fact no one ever mentions it again is frustrating.

@ASGIRC yeah I know it’s the odds, but I felt like someone should offer to discuss it and say this is good/average or whatever for your age and that’s likely fine blah blah blah. Because when I googled you’d get people with much higher and much lower results and it doesn’t really say what any of it means. Anyway, I’m just hoping it’s good.

I think my hair has stopped going grey since I’ve been pregnant. I only had a couple of greys but I’ve not seen any new ones since September.

@thislittlebird I think, if those were your odds, at 40 years old, using your own eggs, they were pretty great!
Some of my due date group girls are also in their 40s and they had much higher odds, of 1/800, and the like!
even one, at 33, had a 1/900 for t21!
They all ended up doing Harmonys, with those results!

@PollywithaP yeah I’m on aspirin and I’ve got to start clexhane in week 28. Not looking forward to doing them. Had to do them for a week when I had Covid and I bruised awful.

@thislittlebird whoops sorry didn’t mean to add to anyone’s stress. Sorry xx

well I’ve just come back from birthing class and I can never decide if it’s helpful or just makes me more overwhelmed lol
I really didn’t know they just leave you to it once you’re in the hospital. I thought like a nurse might be there to give me some clues. I better read a book to make sure I know what I’m doing lol

@CazzyM1983 Sorry you are having sickness still too. Gives me hope that you are having it less. I’m 24 weeks and I’m on my longest streak of feeling okay… 5 days I haven’t been sick. Hopefully that means I’m over the worst of it. I had sickness 3-4 days a week until this 5 day period of feeling well.

@CollsR gosh that sounds rough! I’m lucky I haven’t been super bad since about week20 but I do keep getting random bouts of it. Such fun! Lol

Fun one for you all…piles in pregnancy. YAY 😂

Anyone else?

Sorry to hear that some of you are still having sickness. Hope it passes soon xx

@KG1244 aww no piles here yet but I live in fear of them!

@CazzyM1983 oh it’s fine, I’ll work round to worrying about all of it eventually!

@ASGIRC yeah own eggs at 40, or a couple of months before, and DH’s 42 year old sperm. Hopefully it’s a positive outcome. I did also do NIPT because I didn’t feel I was getting anything from midwives etc and that came back low risk (no odds listed for this test) so I’ve done all I can.

@KG1244 oh no, do you know what triggered them? I’ve worried about getting them ngl! Coldsores are the bane of the second trimester for me. Every couple of weeks, or less sometimes, a new one is trying to pop up. Hasn’t helped that I’m over two weeks into this hellish cold.

@CazzyM1983 honestly! Way to make pregnancy even less sexy!

@thislittlebird according to Dr Google, you are more likely to get them if you’re pregnant cause of all the hormones but increasing fibre and water intake is the key to reducing/avoiding them! 3 weetabix for me today 😂

@KG1244 Weetabix and water isn't too bad! You know what else dr google told me? You're more likely to damage ribs...and guess what I've done!!! Honestly, the second trimester has been an absolute shitshow for me. I've hurt a rib coughing and then had a headache at lunchtime (again!) and went for a sleep for half hour. Husband called and while he was on the phone I rolled over and managed to hurt the rib a lot more, now I can't bend/move well, can't cough or blow my nose. I feel very sorry for myself at the moment!

In baby products news, if any of you are eyeing up the Ergobaby embrace baby carrier, the light grey colour is reduced to clear on Amazon and John Lewis so instead of about £99, it's £59.99, and the pink one is £55.95 on Amazon.

@thislittlebird oh no! You poor thing. I did not expect that I would become such a delicate little flower in pregnancy but I also don’t think I had a clue what to expect. I was always too scared to google as I just never thought I would get pregnant to be honest.

@KG1244 I just feel broken. January has been absolutely shit and no signs of improving! I never really considered all of this kind of stuff.

Do you think it’s ok for me to wear a Velcro support brace? I had one from a back injury a few years back and I’ve put it on again, it just about fits and is helping with the rib pain/keeping me up straight etc. I can’t see how it would hurt the baby?

@thislittlebird im sure it’s fine but I would just check your midwife to confirm. I know there are supports you can buy for your pregnancy if you are suffering with your back. I hope it improves soon xx

@KG1244 my midwives are of the chocolate teapot variety in my experience so far so not sure they’ll be much use. It doesn’t feel too tight or anything, just like it’s holding my ribs in line or whatever.

@thislittlebird I spent a lot of the second trimester of my first pregnancy with a belt pulled tight just under my boobs as it was the only thing that controlled the pain of my ribcage expanding. As long as your brace thingy isn't over the bump I'm sure it's fine :)