Is 28 too young to be a mum?

[bubbles1996]

I've recently found out that I'm pregnant. My partner is 35 and will be 36 when the baby arrives, this will be his first child. I'm currently 27 but will be 28 by the time the baby's here. We both have good stable jobs and live together. Financially we're fine.

My mother was upset when I told her of my pregnancy, particularly as she said that she wanted me to start having children in my 30s and she thinks I'm "too young" now. She was in her 30s when she started childbearing. I was hoping to start having kids in my 30s and not my 20s but I guess these things happen. I don't think that 28 is as young as she is making out, is it?

It really isn't any of her business.. Does she usually manage your life?

It's a perfectly reasonable age! I had my first at 29 by choice. Younger than some, older than some.

We are very close. She doesn't really manage my life per se but she does give a lot of advice as far as me making decisions goes.

it’s on the early side, but it is not too young.

you do however mention partner, not husband. Are you sure your mother is upset about your age? Isn’t it more likely that she is upset about your lack of planning? If you are a couple who doesn’t believe in marriage, have you met with a solicitor and a financial advisor to set up a plan to protect you during pregnancy and child rearing?

I had my son at 27. Perfectly reasonable age to have a baby

Congratulations.

Not your mums business as pp has said.

I honestly don't believe in a right age for having children - your mum should be thankfully you can have children not everyone is so fortunate.

I was younger than that having my 1st.

It's absolutely normal and reasonable to have a baby at 28 years old. The average age is 29, so almost half of all mothers have had their first child by 28.

Well I was 26 so I hope not. She is still alive and well, as is my son who I had when I was 28.

It’s on the slightly younger side for where I live but not massively so and definitely not too young at all. It’s not like you’re a teenager. Plenty of people have babies in their late twenties.

When I was 28 my kids were 6 and 4 it was planned that way, by the time I was 40 they were 16 and 18.

How long have you been with your DH? Do you own your own home? Your idea of security could be different to others. I expect your DM wanted you to experience life and perhaps have more financial security before you become a parent, but ultimately it's your choice.
It's younger than the average first time mum but not by much.

Seems like a great age to me? I was 31 and felt older than a lot of the other mums locally. Not that it really matters - have made some lovely mum friends of all ages.

If you want multiple kids, it's better to start earlier. Even if not, your stable family and income means you're better prepared than many!

It's none of your mum's business and obviously you are not too young.

Do you want this baby, op?

Perfectly fine, my mum had 3 kids by that age! I had my first at 21 and pregnant with my second at 27, one loss in-between then. Hospitals actually classify over 35 as advanced maternal age or geriatric. Not that I agree with that, but must be a decent age in regards to your reproductive system to have a baby at 28 if that's the case. You sound financially stable so as long as your relationship is healthy too, I see no issue.

Of course not!

Your mum doesn't get to decide when you start having kids surely?

28 is the average age for a first time mother. I was 28 when my son was born.
He’s 3 now and I can keep up with him( just about haha)

Is it more your mom hoped you’d have more life experiences beforehand?

Pros and cons
I had mine at 27 and 29.
Pros
You're young and you don't get as tired.
You're not as anxious (in my experience)
Kids friends think you're fun
You can still do lots when they've left home
You haven't had as much life as an adult and so you don't miss it as much (weird to explain but someone who has spent twenty years living independently misses that independence more than someone at 28)
Friends are likely to be fun aunties and uncles to your kids
Cons (but this is just my experience)
You're less likely to be financially independent on your own
Less likely to have built up your career
Less likely to be a homeowner
Relationship might not last (for me anyhow)
You could be more volatile and have less patience
Feeling that you're being judged
Spending your 30th watching in the night garden
Friends are all still childfree and so don't relish spending nights in with you

I don't regret anything and if you end up as a single mum of two at 35 then you still won't regret it. You'll know your own worth!

I had mine at 25 and 26. 10 and 12 now. No regrets

Its younger now, but not young .

I was 28 when I had my son and my partner was also 35 it was absolutely fine.

I always think of it like the longer you wait to have kids the less time you have with them.

It sucks your mum wasn't happy for you but she will come around :)

I had my DS at 29 , I'm not 32. He was planned I have never regretted him for a second .
If you want the baby have it , it's your life not your DM . I'm so glad I had him at 29 as hopefully it means I'll be around longer for him.

28 is fine. Your partner might want to crack on though, if you want to have more than one.

28 is pretty close to 30. There's no magical switch that changes when you turn 30 that makes it a preferable time, assuming your relationship/income/housing situation are stable. Also, it's really none of your mum's business, regardless of how close you are.

I had my son at 28 and it felt like a nice age. I'm now 30 and I'm glad I don't feel pressure to have a close age gap with a second DC, like I might if I'd been older.

I hope she also offered you congratulations?

I think that’s a perfect age!
I was 31 and 33