To be told my newborn essentials list is a waste of money? What do you think?

[Mummatobe98]

I made a list with my partner of the items we need to get together before baby is born, my MIL has seen it and told me it is not needed. We will be given items such as the pram, however I feel that the items I have written down to get before I give birth are essential. Im 20 weeks now

Here it is:

Bedtime

Moses basket - someones given us this
3-4 cellular blankets
2 tog baby sleeping bag
Fitted sheets for moses basket matress
Nightlight/room thermometer
Dummy

Feeding

Burp cloths/muslin squares pack
Feeding cushion
Breast pump (optional)
Milk storage bags
Formula just incase
4-6 bottles
Bottle warmer
Steralising equipment/milton
Bottle brush

Changing

A changing mat
Nappies
Wipes
Barrier cream/sudocrem
Nappy bags

Clothing
Baby grows x 8
Baby Vests x 8
Cardigans x 3
Socks x 10
A warm hat x 1
1-2 special outfits (optonal)

Bath
Baby bath
Cotton wool
3-4 soft towels
3-4 wash clothes
Baby wash

Outside
A car seat
Push chair/pram
Changing bag
Baby sling (optional)

Health
First-aid kit
Nasal aspirator
Soft hair brush
Nail scizzors

I think your list is perfect and I used pretty much everything on it! Just learn to nod and smile and then do what you want anyway. And stop sharing any plans or thoughts. Good luck with your baby - youll be fantastic!

I used a dummy from day 1, absolutely essential

This is not advised, so don’t do this.

If your newborn baby is crying for food then you need to feed it.

I listened to advise to get '100 muslins' and wish I hadn't because I barely use them

I do agree with this though.
It was such a waste of money.
Buy a couple or just use tea towels.

Seems like a fairly normal list to me. A lot of the little things can be bought at places like Poundland (dummies, nail scissors etc) so if you end up not using them you haven't spent a lot of money and (unless you live in the middle of nowhere) easy to get hold of if you suddenly need them.
You don't always know what you are going to need. For example those soft baby brushes are great for gently getting rid of cradle cap - but you don't know if your baby will get cradle cap until it happens.
As for muslins..... despite Mumsnet folks always saying they are a Must Have - I never used them 😂

I should have added that I formula fed from birth. If he was hungry, of course he got fed but when he wasn't hungry, a dummy settled him.

@Nowherenew babies don't just cry for food though. Sometimes they just like sucking for comfort and a dummy helps with that.

We had a nasal aspirator, recommended by a Midwife and it was very helpful. When they're just really in distress with a blocked nose being able to help makes a lot of difference. However they're not hard to get and not urgent.

That’s a great list. You will learn what works for you and baby as you go. Some parents and babies prefer certain things to others but all of that stuff is pretty much required.

What exactly is her issue with the list? How does she think the baby will be clothed/fed/kept warm and clean?

Don't let her make you doubt yourself, ignore any other stupid things she says. Just tell her your midwife and the NHS suggest these things online and in the information leaflets you’re given and if she doesn’t like it, she can take it up with them.

Wouldn’t be without the snot sucker! I’d get more sleeping bags in a variety of togs: in 10 months of DS we’ve used 2.5, 1.5, 1 and 0.5 tog. Also you can get bags suitable from birth; these tend to double up as swaddles then you transition their arms out.

A SnoozeShade for the pram, 0-6m and 6m+, has been invaluable. After about eight weeks they start to get nosy and need the equivalent of throwing a blanket over the parrot’s cage.

Also look at blacking out both your room, the spare room, and the baby’s eventual room, so you’re not up a ladder at 3am with cardboard and duct tape and a useless Groblind, swearing and crying.

Second the suggestion of Metanium, it’s the bee’s knees. Anbesol is the cat’s pyjamas for teething. Lansinoh is the gold standard of nipple creams.

White noise: just look up the 12 hours shhhh video on YouTube and use an old phone if you have one - you can plug this in at home then use the same noise on your phone out and about, for consistency. Don’t bother with a special machine, and Euan the fucking dream sheep is a little bellend.

Make your peace with mismatched socks and socks falling off, and do not bother with sock-ons.

Very important to have a small pointless hat to wear in hospital (the baby, not you, though do feel free), then never again. These often come free with sets of baby clothes and you’ll accumulate six dozen that you can’t get rid of.

It matters less what is on your list than that your MIL is muscling in on your party. What you need will depend largely on your particular baby/lifestyle and you will probably get some unnecessary stuff, but one of the good things about being a new parent is that you are entitled to make your own mistakes. Learn to nod and smile and do what you like anyway.

Even with breastfeeding you need bottles the dad will want to feed the baby.
Totally disagree with this. I had all the stuff for expressing, bottles, pump, milk storage bags, steriliser. All for the sake of being able to go to one day out for a hen do. Pumping was totally tedious and with DC2 I didn't bother at all.

Totally fine of course if you want to express or formula feed from the get go but also totally fine to take the, for me, easiest route and just bf with no bottle faffing at all.

I didn’t use bottles when breastfeeding. Or use a changing bag. Or have a baby sleeping bag. These are things that I would say are unnecessary. For now, I’d just get the minimum and see how you get on. Eg, lots of socks? Just use baby grows with feet.

great list! The only thing I wouldn’t both with is a bottle warmer and steriliser, especially if you’re planning on breastfeeding. And I’d second buying some of the readymade bottles for an emergency. For me, the sling was an essential from birth too.

Looks about right, although there are a few things I'd personally lose.

As example: room thermostat, 4 blankets and towels (not sure why you need that many), dummy (personal choice on not using one recognise others do), bottle warmer and 6 bottles (get 1 and see if they like it - if you breast feed you won't need 6 and they may be fussy about what bottle when you do give one), bottle warmer and feeding cushion (again see if you need it once they come)

And if put the sling as necessary. Plus quite soon after baby comes along a baby seat bouncer thing.

Get what you want and can afford , until you have had the baby you won't know what you might actually use as everyone is different .

Unless you’re planning on raising your baby in a cave I’d say that’s a completely reasonable list and I’d get all of it, apart from maybe that many socks as the baby grows all have feet on

And changing bags are the biggest con going. Just get an ordinary backpack with lots of pockets for about a third of the price.

I've never used our pram/buggy hybrid, I used a sling and carrier exclusively for 2 kids. Also never used our snot sucker!

I did use the pumps a lot. Would recommend baby nail clippers over scissors, it's less daunting somehow!

Unless you live in a flat, I'd get two changing mats - one for upstairs and one for downstairs.

Here's your list annotated with my thought:

Bedtime
Moses basket - someones given us this - yes
3-4 cellular blankets - two or three would be enough
2 tog baby sleeping bag - check they're ok for newborns??
Fitted sheets for moses basket mattress - yes
Nightlight/room thermometer - yes
Dummy - no, not good for establishing breastfeeding

Feeding
Burp cloths/muslin squares pack - 2 packs; need a dozen I would say.
Feeding cushion - optional

I would skip all of the following if you want to breast feed. If you do need it, you can get it delivered the next day, or from any big supermarket:
Breast pump (optional)
Milk storage bags
Formula just incase
4-6 bottles
Bottle warmer
Steralising equipment/milton
Bottle brush

Changing
A changing mat - yes
Nappies - yes
Wipes - yes
Barrier cream/sudocrem - yes
Nappy bags - yes

Clothing
Baby grows x 8 - six would probably do (you will get given loads)
Baby Vests x 8 - ditto
Cardigans x 3 - two would do, people will give you loads of clothes
Socks x 10 - babies don't need socks if they wear babygrows. And they constantly fall off.
A warm hat x 1 - yes
1-2 special outfits (optonal) - if you want to - but maybe more fun to pick something when baby is here.

ADD
A pram suit for an autumn / winter baby

Bath
Baby bath - get a bath seat instead
Cotton wool - yes
3-4 soft towels - yes
3-4 wash clothes - yes, but a muslin would do
Baby wash - no, use water

Outside
A car seat - yes
Push chair/pram - yes
Changing bag - any bag will do
Baby sling (optional) - yes , if wanted

Health
First-aid kit - not sure what would be in this?
Nasal aspirator - no
Soft hair brush - yes
Nail scissors - no, use a gentle file to smooth rough edges

Sounds pretty standard to me!
I would say just don't goad buying lots of each thing like say 4 of the same bottle, dummy, towel or packs of nappys. It easier to try once the baby gets here to see what works for you both.

If you are thinking of breastfeeding but want a backup I would honestly just get maximum a pack of ready made formula and a bottle. We had to mix feed unplanned and got everything from the supermarket and still ended up with bottles we didn't use. So if you have somewhere nearby you can get it if you need it I probably wouldn't bother buying it at all.

Also I wish I had left it later to buy stuff as people do tend to gift things like blankets and clothes so you end up with tonnes.

But as an essentials list goes it sounds about right.

@Somewhatchallenging they may not be essential to you but they may be necessary to the poster….

Depending on baby’s weight they cannot always go into sleeping bags straightaway so blankets are necessary. You’ll always need a couple of blankets!

@Mummatobe98 I think your list is great! Enjoy the experience and if you want to buy something then buy it!

I was expecting to see some “out there” items. But this seems all necessary to me.

That is a very basic list, well done. Just to say though, I wish I'd hired a hospital breast pump. They're better, and cheaper. I'd pop the bottles and steriliser (though a food-safe beer brewing bucket and milton tablets are more effective and cheaper) in your online basket, and hold off in case you do EBF. You can get these things delivered in hours. Though I would buy a box of small bottles of ready made formula as they come with their own teats, if you needed. They would tide you over nicely if you went down the formula route. You could donate to a baby bank if you don't use them. Or you could practice ignoring your MIL by ignoring me!

Nasal aspirator
Soft hair brush
3-4 soft towels
Baby bath
tog baby
sleeping bag
Feeding cushion
Breast pump
Formula
4-6 bottles
Bottle warmer
Steralising equipment
Bottles
Nightlight/room thermometer

The above I did not buy straight away (and some never bought). Today it would be even easier to get hold of last minute items if needed (than 19 years ago). I managed to breastfeed so didn't need any sterilisation equipment (some Milton in a bowl was fine if needed). I would have some links saved so you know what you want and buy as needed. For instance I was given a baby bath with dc1 but had traumatic birth and was unable to use it (the sink was easier). Also different circumstances mean different needs so buy what you need (not what mil says you need). When I had twins i bought rain covers for the car seats because getting two into places wasn't as easy as getting one in (especially with an older dc). For instance a feeding cushion didn't work with dc1 because of trauma first time (dc had learnt to feed in odd positions due to me being in iTu) and with dt it was too much. However I couldn't have done without bouncy chairs as two had gut issues. So buy what you want but don't think you need everything before.

I think this thread is probably showing that you’ll be well covered and may not use some stuff but will others. Looks good to me op, best of luck, I will add don’t forget something for yourself ;)