To be told my newborn essentials list is a waste of money? What do you think?

[Mummatobe98]

I made a list with my partner of the items we need to get together before baby is born, my MIL has seen it and told me it is not needed. We will be given items such as the pram, however I feel that the items I have written down to get before I give birth are essential. Im 20 weeks now

Here it is:

Bedtime

Moses basket - someones given us this
3-4 cellular blankets
2 tog baby sleeping bag
Fitted sheets for moses basket matress
Nightlight/room thermometer
Dummy

Feeding

Burp cloths/muslin squares pack
Feeding cushion
Breast pump (optional)
Milk storage bags
Formula just incase
4-6 bottles
Bottle warmer
Steralising equipment/milton
Bottle brush

Changing

A changing mat
Nappies
Wipes
Barrier cream/sudocrem
Nappy bags

Clothing
Baby grows x 8
Baby Vests x 8
Cardigans x 3
Socks x 10
A warm hat x 1
1-2 special outfits (optonal)

Bath
Baby bath
Cotton wool
3-4 soft towels
3-4 wash clothes
Baby wash

Outside
A car seat
Push chair/pram
Changing bag
Baby sling (optional)

Health
First-aid kit
Nasal aspirator
Soft hair brush
Nail scizzors

Seems fine, I cannot fathom being confident enough to buy all that until baby is here though. Maybe I’m being too paranoid. I’m only getting car seat, cot and few clothes for now

There will be things on there that will be a waste of money but you won’t know what is waste until you’ve bought it and tried it for example baby might not like dummies.

I wouldn’t get all the feeding stuff to begin with, just some breast pads, muslins and ready made formula that come with teats. If breastfeeding doesn’t work out, you can get the other stuff then because you’ll buy a bottle and baby won’t like it (or you’ll find it a faff to clean). Same for milk pouches and a pump. You’ll need more muslins than you’ve currently got.

Which things in particular does your MiL think are not needed?

I'd cut your list by about half.

Quite a bit of it is unnecessary IMO and some of it you won't know if you need until baby is here.

Bedtime

Moses basket - someones given us this
3-4 cellular blankets
2 tog baby sleeping bag
Fitted sheets for moses basket matress - YOU CAN USE A PILLOWCASE OVER THE MATTRESS - QUICK TO CHANGE THEM TOO
Dummy

Feeding

Burp cloths/muslin squares pack

Changing

A changing mat
Nappies
Wipes
Barrier cream/sudocrem
Nappy bags

Clothing
Baby grows x 8
Baby Vests x 8
Cardigans x 3

A warm hat x 1
1-2 special outfits (optonal)

Bath

3-4 soft towels - YOU'LL ONLY NEED 1 OR 2 AND CAN USE YOUR OWN TOWELS
3-4 wash clothes - JUST A BABY SPONGE REALLY
Baby wash

Outside
A car seat
Push chair/pram
Changing bag
Baby sling (optional)

You don't need a nasal aspirator, special scissors or a first aid kit. Do learn how to carry out baby first aid including CPR though.

All looks good to me! Remember that baby sleeping bag is only once they reach a certain age, blankets well tucked into the bottom of the moses basket before hand. Also get a crib (or whatever baby will move into after moses basket). Mine hated moses basket, slept fine in a crib.

Nothing wrong with sleeping bag and cellular blankets. Even with breastfeeding you need bottles the dad will want to feed the baby. I used a changing bad and it's been very much needed.

MIL is out or order. You do what makes you feel comfortable and prepared. Your list is entirely reasonable and will mean you have everything you need. We had an emergency section following induction so 5 days of my husbands 2 week paternity was swallowed up by hospital stay - we had very little time once at home to go traipsing around for essentials we didn't have and what we did overlook we got via Amazon. I honestly don't think you can be too prepared as you can never plan for how soon you will both be up and about xxx best of luck with the rest of your preparations and I hope MIL butts out somewhat xx

Your list looks pretty near perfect to me, @Mummatobe98. The only thing I would do without is the baby bath. When ds1 was a little baby, I washed him in the kitchen sink - it was exactly the right height, so didn't hurt my back, was easy to fill and empty, and had a handy work surface beside it, where I could put the changing mat to undress him, and dry and dress him afterwards.

When he got a bit bigger, I'd have a bath with him in the afternoon, at the point where he was getting bored and grumpy, and it would cheer him up.

Once ds2 and ds3 came along, I just dunked them in the bath when their older brother/s were in there.

But honestly, that is just personal preference, and if you want a baby bath, you should get one.

Anyhow - part of the fun of expecting a baby is getting all the things you need - it's all part of preparing your nest for the new arrival, and you should definitely have that enjoyment!

Your list is fine, you may not end up using all of it but you can always save it for baby 2 or pass onto a friend if you don’t end up needing it. Ultimately it’s up to you and your partner what you want to buy for your baby. You’re probably going to get a lot of opinions and advice going forward, this is good ‘smiling, nodding and ignoring’ practice!

Saying that, looking at your list I would recommend the mamm bottles that someone else suggested, they self-sterilize in the microwave so they save having to buy other sterilizing equipment (I’d buy a pack of 3 bottles and a 6 pack of premade formula- it’ll keep you going for a few feeds whilst someone pops to the shops if you need to formula feed but avoids too much waste if you’re able to exclusively breastfeed).

There will almost certainly things you buy and don’t really use, the only thing I would suggest is not buying loads of one item until you know you like it (I bought loads of Boots wetwipes before realizing my son was allergic to something in them and I know friends who tried several different bottles before finding one their child would accept).
Just remember that if you need something desperately then most towns have a 24hr supermarket/Amazon does next day delivery. You don’t need to stock up on loads of items ‘just in case’ (although it doesn’t look like you’re doing this- your list is fairly restrained and sensible).

Also, metanium ointment (the yellow one) is magic for nappy rash so definitely something to either put on your list or keep in mind for if you have an issue with this.

Looks fine to me.

Sudocrem isn't a barrier cream though. Tiny little smidge if you need it or it makes nappies leak.

Don't bother buying the bottles/steriliser. If breastfeeding doesn't work out you can buy stuff then, but no need to have all the stuff on standby on the assumption that it won't work.

You don't need 3-4 cellular blankets - 1 or 2 is fine, but you will need more than one sleeping bag as nappy leaks do happen. If you have 3 then there's one in-use, one ready for use next time one gets soiled and one in the laundry.

Baby bath is optional but sling isn't imo!

Which bits of it? All seems pretty reasonable, and even me, a frugal, bare minimum type had most of that (and used almost all of it)

I mean, there will definitely be some bits that you end up not using (eg. I only used a carrier, never a buggy because I discovered I hated using a buggy), but you'll not know what they are until you're in it and discovering your preferences!

it's not like you've got towel warmer and one of those automatic bin things (which actually, if you live in a flat, I highly recommend)

Good point re these. I wish I’d thought of the pillow case idea!

Also did buy but didn’t use the aspirator or nail scissors. Feels gross before you have the baby but used my mouth for both trimming nails and sucking snot…

I think your list is fine. Only things I'd didnt use were a bottle warmer, dummy or baby bath (had a bath chair instead) mini clippers are a great idea, hardly going to break the bank and nose aspirator is actually a good idea, three of my winter babies had stuffy noses which I had to use the saline spray for.

Sling was essential here also. Love love love the sling. I breastfed so the pump and a few bottles for expressed milk were used. And I had the avent microwave steriliser which was such a great space saver.

I'm expecting my third baby now, and I'd say this is a really sensible list. I wish I'd been so sensible and restrained when I had my first born. I bought loads of pointless stuff that wasn't needed! In fact it is such a good list I'm copying and pasting it now so I can check them all off before I have mine!

If being picky, I would agree with PP that nasal aspirators are a bit pointless, and baby baths also - I'd get this bath seat instead which I've always found VG - Angelcare Bath Support - Pink | Baby Bath Seats & Supports – Mamas & Papas UK (mamasandpapas.com)

Also I agree wholeheartedly with this comment from @mollyfolk !

"Lesson 1 In motherhood is to learn how to listen to your MIL, smile and nod and do what you think is best"

Yes all that stuff is needed, just ignore your MIL.

Maybe only get 2 blankets and 1 towel though to begin with as you may be gifted these when baby is born. We have 3 towels but tend to just use 2 of them as they’re usually washed and dry before we need it again, you’ll probably only bath baby every couple of days until you get to weaning age anyway. If you’re planning to mostly dress in baby grows too then just get a 3 or 5 pack of socks instead of 10 pairs as you likely won’t use socks all that much. Get 2 sleeping bags, nothing worse than an overnight nappy explosion and not having anything to put baby back to bed in (ask me how I know 🙈).

Definitely get a wrap or sling, if you have a Velcro baby that doesn’t want to be put down you’ll be pleased you got one.

I’ve personally never used a bottle warmer either, I just boil the kettle and stand the bottle in a jug of hot water for a few minutes but that may be a personal preference thing.

We did use a baby bath with our first for the first 6 months or so, it was easier than filling the full bath and as he was a winter baby we would bath him in the living room in front of the fire where it was a bit warmer. With baby number 2 I sold the baby bath pretty quickly and got a bath seat instead as he would go in the bath with his older brother who thought it was the best thing ever having his baby brother in the bath with him!

Looks ok. I wouldn't get a dummy or formula though, having them in the house makes you more likely to reach for them out of desperation, unless you live in the Orkneys or something you can get some easily enough. Focusing on BF is hard enough without trying to pump from the get go - pumping is the worst of both worlds.

Ideally you'd get a new cot mattress to reduce SIDS risk by a smidgen. You don't need baby wash, just warm water is fine.

A water bottle for you with an inbuilt straw is a good thing - especially if BF. You get ludicrously thirsty and it's easy to spill an open cup on the baby, whereas a bottle with a straw can be used lying down, won't leak etc.

If you're happy with that then it's nobody elses business. My ex MIL and SIL were like this when I had my first baby. Questioning everything I did etc it was very annoying, like they were trying to undermine me.

I put more than a smidge and never had nappies leak

I had 3 kids and never felt the need to suck snot out of them with my mouth. Gross before and gross afterwards. I just used saline.

And re washing - they often hate it and they don't need it that much, their skin is self-moisturising - we did DC once a week in the early days but a cloth wash of top and tail (head and bum) daily.

It is a basic list - not excessive by any means. The minimum even.

Looks perfectly reasonable to me. You'll find your own feet, don't worry.

As you can see from these responses, people find different things useful/useless. It really depends on you and the baby.

I used a dummy from day 1, absolutely essential
I listened to advise to get '100 muslins' and wish I hadn't because I barely use them
Bathed daily from birth so had plenty of soft hooded baby towels
Didn't find a sling to be useful either, was the only time my generally easy baby would roar furiously

Just smile and nod when it comes to advice, smile and nod.

You don’t need a sleeping bag, dummy, special burp cloths, feeding cushion, breast pump, milk storage bags, formula, bottle warmer, baby sling, first aid box or nasal aspirator (never heard of this).

So yes a lot of the things ok your list you don’t need and will probably waste money on.

If money is no object and you’d feel comfortable having more than you need, just in case then get your full list.

If money is an issue, then get the things that you’ll definitely need and then get the other bits as and when you need them.

A tip for ALL MNetters 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

If you have a baby (before walking age) get tights for the cooler weather

Not just newborn age

Socks look cute but keep falling off

It doesn't matter if it is a boy or girl - they don't care what they are wearing

Yes, agree with PP, to loads of MUSLINS they are fabulous 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂