To be told my newborn essentials list is a waste of money? What do you think?

[Mummatobe98]

I made a list with my partner of the items we need to get together before baby is born, my MIL has seen it and told me it is not needed. We will be given items such as the pram, however I feel that the items I have written down to get before I give birth are essential. Im 20 weeks now

Here it is:

Bedtime

Moses basket - someones given us this
3-4 cellular blankets
2 tog baby sleeping bag
Fitted sheets for moses basket matress
Nightlight/room thermometer
Dummy

Feeding

Burp cloths/muslin squares pack
Feeding cushion
Breast pump (optional)
Milk storage bags
Formula just incase
4-6 bottles
Bottle warmer
Steralising equipment/milton
Bottle brush

Changing

A changing mat
Nappies
Wipes
Barrier cream/sudocrem
Nappy bags

Clothing
Baby grows x 8
Baby Vests x 8
Cardigans x 3
Socks x 10
A warm hat x 1
1-2 special outfits (optonal)

Bath
Baby bath
Cotton wool
3-4 soft towels
3-4 wash clothes
Baby wash

Outside
A car seat
Push chair/pram
Changing bag
Baby sling (optional)

Health
First-aid kit
Nasal aspirator
Soft hair brush
Nail scizzors

I think a lot of it also depends how much money you have available - we're expecting #2 soon and are getting all sorts of things we wouldn't put on an 'essentials' list because we know we'd like to have them.

On the other hand, we don't really like waste and happily accept hand-me-downs and castoffs (and pass these on for free when we're done) so we got the majority of your list for free before DC1 arrived. Things like fitted sheets for moses baskets - no-one wants these once their baby has outgrown the moses basket, so people give them away on facebook all the time. We were also given a box full of different dummies (from someone who was giving us something else and persuaded us to take them just in case!), more sterilisers than we could use (gave one away), a range of different bottles to try out, changing table, baby bath, and two different breast pumps. I know some people prefer to get new stuff, and that's also fine - but don't underestimate all the ambient baby stuff that just circulates!

Is it possible your MIL has said this because she has already bought these things for you but doesn’t want to gift them to you yet and are a surprise?

Just realised from where I’m sitting while the baby naps that I can see the giant box of “things we thought essential but weren’t really”, including two big bags of cotton wool balls – I think we did one nappy change with them, and one eye cleaning, then switched to flannels. Yours if you want them, OP! Really must get round to listing some of the random stuff – unused bottles, those microwave steriliser bags and milk bags (can’t express a drop), 800 small hats – on Freecycle. PP makes a good point about second-hand: the first six months is filled with stuff you need or at least makes life easier, for just a few weeks, then it’s clutter. There’s a baby bath on our street that’s gone round and round the houses and I pity the last person to have a baby and no one to pass it onto! All the neighbourhood babies have had a turn.

Ditto

And hubby needs to be the one who tells her. Any other course of action should be considered cowardice in the face of the enemy.

There’s a baby bath on our street that’s gone round and round the houses and I pity the last person to have a baby and no one to pass it onto! All the neighbourhood babies have had a turn.

This happens in my department at work - the first 'baby' to use my changing table is now 13!

I used all those things except the sling, couldn’t get the hang of it post c section. I used a structured baby carrier a lot when she was a bit older though.

I used an electronic nail file instead of scissors after I cut DD’s little toe by accident 😢

Seems a sensible list anyway, you can sell anything that’s unused and new in box if it turns out you don’t need it.

OP, your baby so your list.

Every mother has her own priorities and mothers her own way. MIL has had her babies and should be ASKING you what you WANT,

NOT telling you what you'll get.

Nip this in the bud now or she'll be constantly on your case. Or Hubby should. His mum; his problem.

The MIL is too opinionated, she needs to get back to having having an afternoon brew & knitting. 🙄

You perhaps don't need quite so many towels or socks. And if you plan to breastfeed it might be better to invest in some antenatal education instead of bottle feeding stuff 'just incase'. But I obviously don't know whether you just intend to feed colostrum in which case ditch the breastfeeding cushion.

I wonder if MIL is suggesting you won't need to buy it because you will be given some things. We bought one cellular blanket and were given loads of lovely Crochet and knitted ones so didn't need more. We were also given lots of muslins and a couple of towels and lots of clothes.

I breast fed for 14 months. A haakaa and a few bottles were very handy. You can leak a lot in the morning. You can collect that for someone else to feed to baby later on while you take a break.

I'd also get 3 mattress protectors and 2 more sleeping bags. My DS puked a lot. Altho you could just have them waiting to be ordered and see how you go.

MIL bought us a baby bath I didn't think it was necessary because I had an angel seat. I'm so glad she did. It was easier to wash him on the kitchen table instead of in the bath tub. There are loads on FB market place where I live

Don't really know what it's got to do with her anyway tbf. I didn't really discuss with anyone except DH. I would say if you are going to try to breastfeed definitely breast pads and Lansinoh on the list. Also remove cotton wool balls and add sensitive baby wipes 👌🏽

That's a very sensible list.

I'd add a pram suit.

You also need more burp cloths than you could possibly imagine.

Maybe buy some onesies now that are bigger than the newborn size. Just one or two. Babies tend to grow out of newborn clothes pretty fast and you might even have one that comes out big from the start.

In your last thread on this exact subject OP it became clear enough that your MIL probably isn't over the moon to be housing you and your soon to be baby, and watching you spend money she presumably thinks would be better saved for your own place.

It was advised by many that you simply don't tell her when you're buying things for the baby, so how has she come to see your list?

Ignore her, buy whatever the fuck you like. She’s throwing her weight around for some reason. It could be a red flag for what she’ll be like when the baby comes.

Is she normally like this?

Seems fine, does she prefer your baby to be bought up in the Middle Ages 🤔

I bathed babies after DC1 in the kitchen sink. The baby bath was a huge faff.

I scoured and polished the sink first obv, and cleared the adjacent counter for the waiting towel.

Err how do you know? Dummies were a godsend with my son who had reflux!
I would only have 1towel
2 cellular blankets.
Otherwise your list is great and not too OTT .
Nightlight is a good idea .
Have just remembered. I used a washing up bowl in kitchen sink for the first few weeks.

I'm surprised to see the nasal aspirator being pooh poohed here. It was the most useful piece of equipment I had, and I found DC3 using it as a teething toy.

Sorry to serial.post, but I want to recommend perineal irrigation bottles for yourself for when you get home, unless you have a bidet.

Your list looks fine, nearly all of it is essential. I would add outdoor clothes too, such as an all-in-one suit and mittens as we're coming into the cold weather.

I practically never used muslins. I also discovered as time went on that for small babies the bathroom basin is way better than a baby bath, and as they got older they moved to the ordinary bath.

Buy minimal feeding options.
I planned to breastfeed, and bought just 1 bottle and a few ready made formula incase.

Ds refused the bottle so I didn’t ever bother expressing milk in the end so no pump/ extra bottles/ storage/ steriliser needed ( was planning on buying later).
The 1 bottle was plenty for the one bottle of formula we attempted every few weeks ( that he refused).

If your breastfeeding, I think most breastfed babies puke far less. We bought too many Muslim cloths as he never puked, a clean tea towel would have been plenty.

Baby towels are small and crap. Use own large ones or buy a couple or new large bath sheets. Lovely and big and can use forever beyond baby stage

All that is so needed!

My best tip would be a washing up bowl from the pound shop and bath your baby in the kitchen sink. You have the draining board/counter right there to lay the towel on and there’s no bending over. Lasts until they are at least six months (my mum has often bathed toddlers in the kitchen sink after a day in the garden) and then they can sit in the bath!

Make sure you consider the seasons for sleeping bags / clothes etc. I think you are having a spring baby, same as me. We had a whole bag of 2.5tog sleeping bags passed down to us that were never used. He was 6lb 3 at birth so too small for a 0-6 sleeping bag (used cellular blankets at first) and by the time he was big enough it was too warm. We are now 7 months and outgrown them before they are used!
Some baby's like swaddle sacks so you might want to try one of those as a newborn. But as with most stuff can be ordered next day from amazon so I wouldn't worry too much now!
Finally, it may not be your thing but we were very pro second hand so I would strongly advise not buying most stuff new and sourcing from friends, vinted etc as a load of it won't even be used!