Due January 2024, Part 7!

[RG9895]

Thought better make a new one!

@Onedayatatime24 Tricky situation, similar happened between two colleagues here (female found out she was being paid less than her male counterpart, with less experience, who joined afterwards), our Director said she should have negotiated better when she joined like he had done. So she then attempted to negotiate a payrise but that's not gone down well.

I think its complete BS tbh.

I was due for a promotion in December and I've been told it won't be happening now as they're not doing any rounds of promotions at year end due to economic situation in our industry. Think that's BS given the number of jobs I've seen still advertised and some higher than my pay, so I shall be going in to see my Director start of November to discuss this.

I had this with my first where I became obsessed with fruit (normally don’t really have it much). I’ve taken 3 satsumas to work and it’s taking all my will power not to eat them now on my commute in.

@Onedayatatime24 maybe give pregnant then screwed a call? It’s free and I’ve heard they are really good.

As you say, it feels wrong you’re being paid less!

@Onedayatatime24 - doesn't seem fair at all, so frustrating that work places become / can be such a pain during pregnancy.
I'm in the baby brain stage at the moment where I'm messing little things up (nothing major) but it's so hard when they're putting so much pressure on me - they won't hire anyone for my cover til at least early December to save money but then it's my fault when things go wrong 🙈

@Mummyme87 which anusol is safe to use? Cream, ointment or suppositories, or are all ok? Thanks!

@Kalodin Eeesh I would be looking for another job if I were her! Yeah I just keep thinking that if I wasn't pregnant I would 100% be asking and wouldn't even question if I'm entitled to it. It's such a nervy time though and being pregnant just makes me question everything I'm doing! Plus you're a bit more vulnerable anyway in terms of job roles on mat leave, especially as I'm having the full 12 months off so stuff like that to factor in.

Do agree it's BS though. I'm thinking definitely worth the chat and if they say no then up to me to decide what I want to do if/when I come back! Same for you on your promotion!

@Mushroo Ooh good shout, I've heard good things about them!

@Flossiepot they're very flexible in all other areas, just the pay and benefits that are rubbish! Which is why I was on the fence, as think they'll try and accommodate me if I want to come back part time etc. so don't want to piss them off! It's probably not even crossed their mind about my pay and if it's fair tbh. Agh I feel for you, it's really tough when you're not 100% and I find myself getting so annoyed at myself when I'm doing things wrong too. Same boat here, lots of pressure to get stuff done now and before I go off. Crazy how they expect us to just continue the same when we're going through probably the biggest life change we will ever go through. 🤦‍♀️

That exactly, @Onedayatatime24 , I'm thinking at least I know where I'll stand then. I'm going to ask for the promotion upon my return from maternity leave. If I do not get it then I'll walk.

@Onedayatatime24 - our work situation sounds so similar. I'm keeping them sweet as I can at the mo with the hopes I'll be able to drop a day before I return. Have been here 8 years and it's a fairly small / family run business. Director is just so old and set in his ways that everything feels so difficult to discuss 🙈

@Kalodin don't blame you! One year of mat leave doesn't erase years of hard work previously!

@Flossiepot same here with it being a small business, there's only 11 of us so we don't have a proper HR department or anything. Our director is fab but doesn't know a thing about mat leave and my entitlements which isn't the best help as neither do I!

@Onedayatatime24 I came back from shared parental leave and asked for a pay rise a few months after getting back to work after my son. I knew I was underpaid. I wanted a few months under my belt of being back and and performing well before broaching it.

Some tips that helped - call a couple of recruiters and ask them how much someone with your skills / cv could get in the job market. Document it. My work then actually went to recruiters to check my figures, then gave me a 30% pay rise - no extra responsibilities.

Keep your eye out for jobs and network on linked in / in person. I was approached on a couple so felt confident to say I'm underpaid, and if it's not rectified, I'll need to consider my options.

Keep a record of how much value you've added to the business - how much money you've brought in, what systems you might have implemented, stuff you've done above and beyond. I found it so cringy talking about money and personal achievements so it really helped me to have some prepared bullet points in my head.

Good luck, it's horrible having to ask, but I think when you get stuck in a complete for a while, you can fall behind what the market is willing to pay

Hi all, first time poster here and first time pregnancy. Had a bit of a wobble today with what i thought was reduced / softer movements at 26 weeks. Went in and they did a trace and quick scan by doc and were happy with that. However, told that baby was breech which makes sense now as kicks are low down. I've felt the change about 2 days ago. I know that there's lots of time for baby to turn but i have a history of fibroids (removed but not sure of current status) and am generally on anxious side.

Any tips for generally helping baby to turn. I know about posture and kneeling forward. I'm just a bit concerned that baby has quite decisively moved into that position and stayed there for 2 days.
Does walking help?

@Marple03 I'm also first timer and baby was head down all through 20 week scan and I also had the same what I thought was reduced movements and turns out she has also moved and now breach! That was since 24 weeks, I'm 27 now and I don't think she has moved but will find out at midwife tomorrow. I was advised not an issue and plenty of time to move until 36 weeks. They say using a pregnancy ball and swaying and doing figure of 8s help! Also bouncing but you can't do that until a bit later on. Hope that helps ☺️ I'm not worried at the mo just think they like to have a move around and sure theres lots of room for them to turn back down 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Thanks for that info @RG9895. Hope our babies get into position soon... Yours hopefully already!!! Have a proper appt myself at 28 weeks.

Heya had my 28 week antenatal appointment today and the fundal measurement was large so they’re sending me for a scan.

im not sure what this means. Anyone got any experience? The way they measure the bump with the tape measure seems a bit inaccurate… two different midwives and room for human error.

@lucya66 I know a couple of people that have had this and it turned out to be nothing to worry about. Even the scans aren’t hugely accurate (I think weight can vary by up to 20% from the scan estimate once you get to third trimester).

I have my 28 week consultant appointment on Friday and then a midwife appointment next week. Does anyone know what usually happens at a 28 week consultant appointment? I was told last time that I’ve only been categorised as consultant led due to it being an IVF pregnancy and I don’t technically have any risk factors that they’re concerned about. They haven’t scheduled in any extra growth scans or anything like that. It seems odd that they want to see me twice in such close succession as the midwife appointment is at the hospital rather than a community midwife.

I wouldn't worry - they know that the tape measure method is a bit rough and ready so they'll just be checking how things look on the scan. Likelihood is all is going normally.

I just saw on my notes that mine is breech too currently (28 weeks), I hadn't really thought to worry about it yet as they still seem to move around such a lot...

@Lightningrain is this your first consultant appointment or a follow up? I'm the same as you, consultant led due to IVF pregnancy but seemingly no other risk factors. I had the first consultant appt at 22 weeks which wasn't very long (they didn't seem to know why I was there!) but I'm not seeing them again until 36 weeks. While I was there I was triaged by a midwife but didn't actually see them in the end, think because they could see I'd had my appointments in the community... Very odd, hope it's a productive session for you!

I had my 28 week midwife appointment today, all good. Measuring 90th percentile on the fundal chart but she said it wasn't anything to worry about, they just want to see the progression over the next few weeks. Then the Doppler ran out of battery half way through finding the heartbeat. Not an ideal time 😂 had bloods and blood pressure done, carbon monoxide and urine sample. It's all moving along very quickly now, can't believe we're getting into the third trimester! Next appt is 31 weeks

@lucya66 i was the other way round. My bump measured small but scans would be fine. I imagine I’ll be the same with this baby, I just seem to carry neatly!

@Marple03 honestly try not to worry. My first was head down and engaged from like 34 weeks up until my last appointment at 39. Then between that appointment and giving birth a couple of days later she went back to back 🫠 these babies have a mind of their own. All you can do is as you say try and keep forward, lots of walking and use a ball etc.

@Bims2019 I had my first consultant appointment at 16 weeks I think. I saw the midwife just before for bloods, urine test, blood pressure and then was called in afterwards for a quick chat with the consultant. I was told there wasn’t really any concern and there weren’t any risk factors but I was there just because of the IVF.

It sounds like they do 16. 28 and another one at 30 odd weeks as standard but I just thought it was strange that I was seeing the midwife next week as well. I would have thought the consultant would want to see the results of the tests that are being done by the midwife next week or there won’t be anything else to check/discuss.

@Marple03 and anyone else check out spinning babies for everything to do with turning baby

But yeah plenty time to turn I'm not even considering position until a lot later on! No need to worry about anything else

@lucya66 I've already had one growth scan cos of a dodgy fundal measurement, everything is totally fine with baby, the fundal measurement was 1cm different and put me from 90th to 3rd percentile within a week which is just not possible 😂 but I had the scan and back on the 90th percentile... also the scans aren't even accurate it's just a best guess!

@Bims2019 it's flying by isn't it now? I've got my 28 week appointment in a couple of weeks for my bloods and my anti d jab 😂🙈 this will be the 4th jab of this pregnancy so far!!

@Marple03 my baby is breech too (almost 27 weeks) and has been either breech or transverse the whole time so far. The midwife at my last appointment didn’t seem at all concerned, but I can’t help but worry about it either! I was a breech baby myself and have read the risk is higher if that’s the case…

@Lilothblos my first was transverse until 34 week check where she went head down! This one has also been transverse at every scan so far.

@Lilothblos i know... It's hard to deal with the uncertainty and the knowledge you have doesn't help the anxiety. The fibroid thing is playing on my mind now and i just have to wait for 28 weeks for appt. My rational mind says there's no reason for either of us to be worrying unduly at this stage but it's not easy.

@suz2285 i had a look at that website and it's all pay per download... Anyone know if it's worth the money or just stick to the kneeling and the ball and walking?

Loads of baby clothes half price in Sainsburys. Fancied an half hour to myself after looking after DD all day, so once DH was home went for a haul of baby clothes!

@Marple03 are you on Instagram? They have loads of you tube and Instagram videos that are free, def don't need to pay to get the basic stuff... they def have a few 'daily positions' videos on you tube that explain a few different things to try! But I don't think you need to worry until way later on... plenty time to get in position

You could even just try you tube for videos for turning baby, not even just ones from spinning babies, it's just they're a well known company