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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Colleagues complaining about maternity leave

115 replies

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 20:48

I'm a junior doctor who has recently started a non-clinical office job and I am 32 weeks pregnant - I plan to go on maternity at 39 weeks for 3 months. My job is lovely - it's 9-5 and the workload is more than manageable. While my seniors and manager have been very supportive about my pregnancy and maternity leave (my consultant and manager have told me several times to consider taking longer!) my junior doctor colleagues have been a bit less supportive.

I work with 2 female and 1 male junior doctor (none of them have children and it is probably important to highlight that having children as a junior doctor isn't really the norm - most people wait till they are a Consultant but in my case accidents happen!) and they will not be able to hire maternity cover as my role is very specialist and it takes almost 1-2 months to get used to the job and systems so a 3 month cover would be pointless (and if anything create extra work for the team) and it is difficult for this reason to also hire ad hoc bank staff.

My colleagues have expressed (in front of me) in front of me how me going on maternity will create extra work for them and will impact them taking leave over Christmas. The female colleagues are more empathetic when expressing this (i.e. saying that it's not my fault and they will just have to prioritise), however the male colleague in particular is very very vocal about how my maternity leave is going to increase his workload and constantly (literally every other day) spearheads conversations in our shared office about how unfair it is for them/how they're going to struggle to cope and how about he is going to demand to our manager that they need 3 month maternity cover (which is not going to happen). It's really annoying and he literally acts like I'm going to be sitting at home for 3 months chilling rather than trying to cope with a newborn baby.

I do not disagree with the fact that there will be more work for them to do but realistically the additional workload among the 3 of them will not be that much - e.g. two of them were on holiday recently so me and my colleague were covering and the additional work was not at all stressful or taxing. We were able to complete all our tasks, while also doing additional career progression tasks and taking adequate breaks for lunches/coffee. Similarly, I have had not had any sick days whereas they all have and have never complained about having to do extra work because they have not been able to come in (especially as the workload is more than manageable!). In terms of taking time off over Christmas, we do not work BH anyway and we always had to have 2 people in the office so not everyone was going to be able to have an extended Christmas break.

Anyway - it's a little awkward when they are having these conversations about my maternity leave when I am sitting there in the office (even with the girls saying it's not my fault, I have every right to take maternity, etc). I'm wanting to say something next time the conversation starts because it makes me feel uncomfortable everyone talking about me and basically complaining how me getting pregnant impacts them - does anyone have any ideas of what to say that is polite but also straight to the point?

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Bonbon21 · 24/08/2023 20:55

First of all your are legally entitled to maternity leave.
If you colleague doesnt like/agree with that he needs to lobby his MP.
If your department is not getting cover for your maternity leave, that is a management decision.
If your colleague doesnt like/agree with that he needs to lobby his line manager.
You explain this to him each and every time he winges.
Enjoy your pregnancy and your new baby.

Goblet93 · 24/08/2023 21:05

Congratulations! Very unfair of your colleagues to be acting this way. I think that you have two options depending on whether you want to confront the situation during the next discussion or let management know and have them deal with it

I think if you wanted to say something next time they do, it should be something along the lines of politely asking that your pregnancy is stopped being discussed as an inconvenience to everyone. It’s not very pleasant to listen to constantly, whilst you appreciate that they feel the workload will increase, talking about it in the office is only making you feel uncomfortable and not achieving anything else. If they would like to discuss this in a productive way, suggest they speak to management to try and get some positive action. Please don’t bring it up again.

Firm but polite. Best of luck x

PosterBoy · 24/08/2023 21:12

That sounds an amazing junior doctor post and I am astounded you couldn't find cover for it. Have they tried and not succeeded? Are thet encouraging you to take more mat leave because it would be easier to get a longer term replacement then?
Complaints need to be directed to management so just remind them of that

1stepforward2stepsback · 24/08/2023 21:15

Are you sure you only want to take 3 months out? Keep your options open on case you change your mind once baby is here.

In terms of your colleagues I’d just make a quick comment about you being perfectly capable of doing the job while others are off, so if they can’t do it while you’re on leave then maybe their competency is the issue rather than your absence.

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:18

1stepforward2stepsback · 24/08/2023 21:15

Are you sure you only want to take 3 months out? Keep your options open on case you change your mind once baby is here.

In terms of your colleagues I’d just make a quick comment about you being perfectly capable of doing the job while others are off, so if they can’t do it while you’re on leave then maybe their competency is the issue rather than your absence.

Financially I can't really afford to take longer and my mum is semi-retired and happy to dedicate a lot of time for childcare so I can get back to work - in an ideal world I would love to take probably 6 months off but just won't be able to afford it!

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medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:20

PosterBoy · 24/08/2023 21:12

That sounds an amazing junior doctor post and I am astounded you couldn't find cover for it. Have they tried and not succeeded? Are thet encouraging you to take more mat leave because it would be easier to get a longer term replacement then?
Complaints need to be directed to management so just remind them of that

It is a non training post so it is not a typical NHS doctor post - as far as I am aware they have not advertised as it seems it wouldn't be worth it bringing someone in as it takes 1-2 months to be able to do the job/there's little supervision so you need to be able to work largely independently unlike ward work

Yeah tbh they might be encouraging me to take longer so they can hire cover but financially I cannot afford it so it's not an option

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Greenfishy · 24/08/2023 21:20

They sound like twats. Tell them you are perfectly entitled to maternity leave and if anyone says anything else you will put in a complaint as this is bordering on bullying.

However - I think you should really, really reconsider the 3 month thing. You will still be feeling like your life has been hit by a truck and your baby will probably still be waking up several times a night. I had only just stopped bleeding at 12 weeks.

If you take longer then your job can get cover so it’s win win for everyone. Are you not entitled to maternity pay?

PinkPlantCase · 24/08/2023 21:22

Complain about your colleague to management. How he’s talking and his options have absolutely no place in the workplace. It needs to be nipped in the bud now before he is a consultant/manager one day.

I work in a job where they just don’t get maternity cover. When I had my first baby I worked somewhere that was bitchy and high with lots of young people all trying to get ahead of each other. Even there they didn’t make comments like this.

I’m sorry you’ve had to listen to this, it’s really not okay.

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:23

Greenfishy · 24/08/2023 21:20

They sound like twats. Tell them you are perfectly entitled to maternity leave and if anyone says anything else you will put in a complaint as this is bordering on bullying.

However - I think you should really, really reconsider the 3 month thing. You will still be feeling like your life has been hit by a truck and your baby will probably still be waking up several times a night. I had only just stopped bleeding at 12 weeks.

If you take longer then your job can get cover so it’s win win for everyone. Are you not entitled to maternity pay?

No I don't get SMP as I was < 26 weeks when I started and it's a different trust so financially it wouldn't be possible to take longer as I only get 2 months of full pay and then 50% pay for 16 weeks which wouldn't cover mortgage as I live in an expensive city - my partner also has a better paternity deal than me so it actually makes financial sense for him to take longer off

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Goldencup · 24/08/2023 21:23

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:18

Financially I can't really afford to take longer and my mum is semi-retired and happy to dedicate a lot of time for childcare so I can get back to work - in an ideal world I would love to take probably 6 months off but just won't be able to afford it!

I don't understand this you will get 50% pay +,SMP ( £185pw) for 6 months. Surely you can manage on that especially as there will be less tax to pay ? I found it was only £200 or so less than the full amount. Remember your expenses will be less as well....

Goldencup · 24/08/2023 21:24

It doesn't matter if it was a,different trust all NHS organisations count for continuous service.

YukoandHiro · 24/08/2023 21:24

I don't know anything about the medical profession so can't advise but I just want to echo your kind seniors saying consider taking longer. You'll really still be healing yourself at 3 months.

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:27

Goldencup · 24/08/2023 21:23

I don't understand this you will get 50% pay +,SMP ( £185pw) for 6 months. Surely you can manage on that especially as there will be less tax to pay ? I found it was only £200 or so less than the full amount. Remember your expenses will be less as well....

Junior doctors are really badly paid in the UK - I am paid just over 2k so 50% (not entitled to SMP) would just about cover mortgage and bills. Before/earlier in my pregnancy I was literally picking up 2 bank shifts/month to be able to actually have money to enjoy myself/save as I live in a very expensive city

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PosterBoy · 24/08/2023 21:28

YukoandHiro · 24/08/2023 21:24

I don't know anything about the medical profession so can't advise but I just want to echo your kind seniors saying consider taking longer. You'll really still be healing yourself at 3 months.

I doubt it's kindness. They probably suspect she will want longer anyway but last minute, so there's no chance to organise a decent replacement.

3 months used to be the norm. It's perfectly manageable, if not ideal.

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:28

Goldencup · 24/08/2023 21:24

It doesn't matter if it was a,different trust all NHS organisations count for continuous service.

I've spoken to HR/reviewed their policy as I thought this - I am only entitled to the occupational pay but not SMP as I have changed trusts even though I have worked in the NHS for 2 years already

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Hercisback · 24/08/2023 21:29

If not entitled to SMP you can claim maternity allowance.

You should be entitled to maternity pay though as both jobs are NHS. Have you spoken to HR?

PosterBoy · 24/08/2023 21:30

Why no stat mat pay though? You were presumably working before this job?

PinkPlantCase · 24/08/2023 21:31

If I had to get into debt to be able to take more than 3 months off work I would. Talk to your mortgage provider they might let you go interest only for a time. Tbh your maternity pay is a pretty good deal compared to what most women get.

I had 6 months off, I felt like I was there for the time when baby absolutely needed to be on me and close to me at a primal level but I didn’t really get many of the fun bits. At 3 months I’m not even sure that baby understands they are a separate thing to you.

Even going back at 6 months I pumped 3 times a day at work and by then my supply was pretty rock solid, it would have been much harder to start doing all that after just 3 months. Of course you don’t have to breastfeed but most of the doctors I know are pretty passionate about it.

What having 3 months off actually means in practice is hard to get your head round before the baby’s here.

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:33

Thanks for the advice regarding pay/maternity leave but I would appreciate more guidance about approaching my colleagues about their comments.

I've researched maternity pay/spoken to HR/BMA and in my case it makes financial and career sense for me to take 3 months off and this is something me and my partner have agreed on - how much parents choose to take off for their maternity/paternity leave is a personal choice up to them and if this was a man posting, the conversation would not be going towards them taking more time off rather than the question asked.

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SouthLondonMum22 · 24/08/2023 21:33

Just for a positive spin, OP. I went back full time at 3 months and I was more than ready, not still healing at all.

DisforDarkChocolate · 24/08/2023 21:34

Junior doctors have babies all the time!

Just take the leave and ignore everything else.

SouthLondonMum22 · 24/08/2023 21:35

As for the other doctors, I’d go with firmly stating that you don’t wish to discuss your pregnancy.

medicmumma · 24/08/2023 21:36

SouthLondonMum22 · 24/08/2023 21:33

Just for a positive spin, OP. I went back full time at 3 months and I was more than ready, not still healing at all.

Thank you!

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Hercisback · 24/08/2023 21:37

Your colleagues are probably slightly apprehensive of a 3 month maternity leave and this is their way of voicing their concerns.

I would be slightly concerned (from a colleague POV) as I wasn't physically well enough to return to work after 3 months due to c section complications. If you are unable to return, they're then left working extra hard for even longer.

They could be a bit kinder about not having the conversation in front of you.

Have you told them why you're having such a short mat leave?