Colleagues complaining about maternity leave

[medicmumma]

I'm a junior doctor who has recently started a non-clinical office job and I am 32 weeks pregnant - I plan to go on maternity at 39 weeks for 3 months. My job is lovely - it's 9-5 and the workload is more than manageable. While my seniors and manager have been very supportive about my pregnancy and maternity leave (my consultant and manager have told me several times to consider taking longer!) my junior doctor colleagues have been a bit less supportive.

I work with 2 female and 1 male junior doctor (none of them have children and it is probably important to highlight that having children as a junior doctor isn't really the norm - most people wait till they are a Consultant but in my case accidents happen!) and they will not be able to hire maternity cover as my role is very specialist and it takes almost 1-2 months to get used to the job and systems so a 3 month cover would be pointless (and if anything create extra work for the team) and it is difficult for this reason to also hire ad hoc bank staff.

My colleagues have expressed (in front of me) in front of me how me going on maternity will create extra work for them and will impact them taking leave over Christmas. The female colleagues are more empathetic when expressing this (i.e. saying that it's not my fault and they will just have to prioritise), however the male colleague in particular is very very vocal about how my maternity leave is going to increase his workload and constantly (literally every other day) spearheads conversations in our shared office about how unfair it is for them/how they're going to struggle to cope and how about he is going to demand to our manager that they need 3 month maternity cover (which is not going to happen). It's really annoying and he literally acts like I'm going to be sitting at home for 3 months chilling rather than trying to cope with a newborn baby.

I do not disagree with the fact that there will be more work for them to do but realistically the additional workload among the 3 of them will not be that much - e.g. two of them were on holiday recently so me and my colleague were covering and the additional work was not at all stressful or taxing. We were able to complete all our tasks, while also doing additional career progression tasks and taking adequate breaks for lunches/coffee. Similarly, I have had not had any sick days whereas they all have and have never complained about having to do extra work because they have not been able to come in (especially as the workload is more than manageable!). In terms of taking time off over Christmas, we do not work BH anyway and we always had to have 2 people in the office so not everyone was going to be able to have an extended Christmas break.

Anyway - it's a little awkward when they are having these conversations about my maternity leave when I am sitting there in the office (even with the girls saying it's not my fault, I have every right to take maternity, etc). I'm wanting to say something next time the conversation starts because it makes me feel uncomfortable everyone talking about me and basically complaining how me getting pregnant impacts them - does anyone have any ideas of what to say that is polite but also straight to the point?

If you aren't entitled to stat mat, you should be entitled to mat allowance, which is relatively similar in amount.

Pretty sure HR have this wrong, even if you switch trusts it counts as continuous NHS service as long as you haven't had a break between posts of (I think) 3months or more. I would talk to your union. Or if you're not a member challenge this. It's in your TCS

But you aren't a man. You're a woman about to have a baby and deal with the physical and emotional aftermath.

You should get maternity allowance if you can't claim SMP.

I understand why you wouldn’t take longer for financial reasons. Just googled NHS maternity pay and so shocked by how low it is!

Id just direct your colleague to management each time they complain.

Not sure how you can deal with your colleagues, they will have to suck it up and get on with it.

Honestly, it doesn't make much sense to not get mat leave cover.
You recently started and are just about to leave. Presumably you are only just trained up, a few months in, and now you are leaving.

It's not your issue and they need to direct their concerns to management, who are shafting them by not getting cover. Just keep telling them that, and to stop talking about it in front of you

You are wrong about the SMP/MA - if you've been working for 2 years then one of them must apply. Probably SMP + trust policy.

Your managers are wrong not to recruit cover. They should be planning for you to have more than 3 months off, even if you are now planning otherwise. You can change your mind, or be forced into changing it for many many reasons. You may want to return part time. They should be anticipating that and ensuring appropriate cover. It's forgivable for YOU to be naive about how committed to work you'll be 3 months after birth, but they should know better.

If it helps OP, your colleagues probably aren't angry at you, although it likely feels that way. They will be frustrated that management hasn't put anything in place to help them whilst you're on leave. Their issue isn't with you. And if they make you feel like it is, just remember that you have every right to take your leave and they know that as well.

I went back to work full time as a teacher after 10 weeks with my first and after 9 weeks with my second. That was all I could afford. I was fine. I'm sure you will be too.

As for your colleague. Perhaps you should consider raising the issue of him complaining about you to HR??

I would seriously check with your union, I'm 99% sure any NHS trust should be fine from a continuous service perspective for maternity.

HR are not on your side. I see you say you've checked with the BMA but I just don't really understand it.

https://www.nhsemployers.org/publications/tchandbook

Edited to add: sorry OP, I see you asked people not to focus on that - I think I (and probably others) am just a bit horrified if you might miss out on thousands of pounds because you've been misinformed.

Firstly, why are you taking just 3 months leave? That is extremely short especially for a ftm.

Secondly, why have you not raised a grievance against this arse hole? This behaviour amounts to discrimination and bullying and you shouldn't stand for it. I can't believe he's getting away with it.

Perhaps you should tell them you will complain about them harassing you to HR and maybe they’ll shut up!

I am so sorry to hear you have to hear these stupid comments from your colleagues. I definitely agree you should mention it to your manager or address it yourself. You have a right to have a child and a legal right to take leave whether they like it or not. Good luck.

Sorry just read that you can't afford to take longer... fair enough in that case but I'd honestly do all I could to take longer or do a phased return to work.

Also your response to the arse at work needn't be polite. It needs to be a grievance his behaviour is outrageous.

Every woman is different :)

I would say something like “[male colleague’s name], I know it’s going to be hard while I’m not here but I’m entitled to maternity leave to look after my baby. If you’d like to complain please talk to [manager who’s on your side]. Constantly bringing it up isn’t going to change the situation so could you please stop mentioning it”

Thanks - I will contact the BMA again but when I emailed them over a month ago with my situation they said I would only get occupational pay but I'll look into it again (I have had friends who have gotten incorrect legal advice from them before it happens!)

The man in particular sounds like an absolute arse!!

Not easy but please try to ignore them

Absolutely.

I was told I’d change my mind too, I didn’t.

Of course there’s a chance you might but you also may not and that’s fine. Totally fine.

I’d be furious. Say something along the lines of “I’m sorry I didn’t ask your permission or ask if it was convenient for you if I got pregnant. I wasn’t aware that you were the pregnancy gatekeeper. Perhaps if you find a woman who will tolerate you long enough to have children with you, you’ll consider whether it’s a convenient time for her colleagues?”

I totally agree and it’s up to you and your partner. As an FYI though, I am about to go on Mat leave and the government charter means I can switch to interest only mortgage payments for 6 months, with no impact on my credit score, which means I can take more time off on maternity leave. Not saying you have to do this, but if you didn’t know it was an option and wanted to explore it then I thought it might be helpful to share this.

your colleague sounds like a twat. I would be tempted to saying something very terse next time it was raised, but that’s probably not wise and I think some of the advice already given about telling him to stop as it’s making you uncomfortable is probably the best option.

YANBU to feel annoyed at how they're voicing this. It's not appropriate for a whole host of reasons.

YABU to minimise the extra work they'll have to do to cover your role.

Your management ABU for not putting in place cover, and creating this tension.

Your colleague is on dodgy ground complaining about your pregnancy and maternity leave and you should point that out.

I know you feel convinced about the 3 months being enough, but it is very short. I hope you find you might be eligible for more money so you can take longer should you need to.

"I do apologise. Last time I had rampant, really hot sex with my partner/DH, I really didn't consider how the possible consequenes would impact you. Mea culpa.