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Original poster

Glass of wine at 35 weeks pregnant

124 replies

colourPink · 21/08/2023 17:36

I had a glass of wine today at my mums funeral. The last few weeks have been awful with her dying very suddenly and being heavily pregnant.

I didn't ask for it but at the wake afterwards my husband came back with it and said one small glass won't hurt and you deserve it. I enjoyed every sip! It really did help settle me down after the service.

However, a friend made a comment at the funeral about it and I'm struggling to let it go. She said something along the lines of "no matter what I was going through I'd never have a drink while pregnant. Too many risks." She then laughed afterwards but it's bugging me.

Maybe I'm feeling especially emotional/sensitive today but since then she's worried me about having one glass. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Horriblewoman · 21/08/2023 17:37

Your friend is a thoughtless idiot.

Enko · 21/08/2023 17:38

Horriblewoman · 21/08/2023 17:37

Your friend is a thoughtless idiot.

This 100%

whyyy321 · 21/08/2023 17:39

Absolutely fine, your baby is fully cooked essentially by this point anyway! Ignore the friend, how unkind to say that on a difficult day.

Growlybear83 · 21/08/2023 17:39

Oh please don't worry about just having one glass on wine at 35 weeks pregnant! I had a very occasional glass of wine during the later stages of my pregnancy, and I'm sure many people do. I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum - I'm sure you really needed a small glass of wine. It really won't have harmed your baby at this stage.

coloursquare · 21/08/2023 17:41

Your friend doesn't sound like a friend.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Glass of wine absolutely fine!

LadyHester · 21/08/2023 17:42

What does your ‘friend’ think will happen?

CR7 · 21/08/2023 17:43

Not a good friend x hope you're ok x

WestendVBroadway · 21/08/2023 17:44

I was half way through my pregnancy when I got married. My midwife said not to worry if I had a small glass of Fizz during the toast. DC is fine, unlike your mate.😄

Merrymagpies · 21/08/2023 17:44

It’s fine. I had a trauma in one pregnancy and had daily monitoring in hospital. Midwives positively encouraged me to go
home and have a small wine to relax every few days as stress was far more damaging to us both.

CostaDelPatio · 21/08/2023 17:49

I’m sorry but your friend is not your friend!

Did you enjoy it? Did it relax you at an absolutely dire time? (This is not a blueprint for becoming an alcoholic btw) Do you think your baby benefited from the serotonin rather than cortisol?

Please, for me, do not beat yourself up over such a smug, snidey little comment.

REP22 · 21/08/2023 17:55

That was a cruel barb and her laughter afterwards stamps it as a fact that she wasn't genuinely concerned for your or your baby's health. Ignore her. You will be fine. (Also - she laughed at a nasty, snippy comment she made to you - at your mother's funeral. She's a classy lady.)

I'm really sorry about your mum. Sending you very best wishes. x

Nowtbettertodo · 21/08/2023 17:57

A true friend would not say this to you! You have done nothing wrong. So very sorry for your loss Flowers

timetolive · 21/08/2023 18:04

Your friend isn't a friend, they're a twat.

It's fine to have the odd glass. Sorry for the loss of your mum x

BubziOwl · 21/08/2023 18:05

I'm someone who is massively overcautious around this sort of thing - I stopped drinking alcohol as well as tea coffee etc whilst TTC, never mind whilst actually pregnant! So please understand that I'm not a risk-taking type of person when I say that you and your baby are absolutely fine - it was one glass, one time. As an aside, I think your friend is a dick.

Sorry about your mum, all the best Flowers

vancouvertrip · 21/08/2023 18:07

Your friend is an absolute idiot. In the third trimester it's fine to have up to 2 small glasses of wine a week.

I cannot believe your friend would say this, so utterly thoughtless and rude!

Sunshineclouds11 · 21/08/2023 18:07

I'm so sorry about your mumFlowers

She doesn't sound like much of a friend having a dig like that tbh.
It's absolutely fine

redpepperchilli · 21/08/2023 18:08

Ditch the "friend". Consider that they chose to say that to you full stop, and then that they chose to say it to you at your parent's funeral. Just awful

user76541055773 · 21/08/2023 18:08

She’s not your friend. She is a twat.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

Wine was 100% the right decision and will probably have done you, and therefore the baby, a lot of good.

chorusline79 · 21/08/2023 18:09

Sorry about your mum and ignore your "friend" how unnecessary and unkind of her to say that.

Hoppinggreen · 21/08/2023 18:10

I wouldn’t have been so awful as to comment and it’s very very unlikely that it harmed your baby.
Having said that I probably wouldn’t have done it - but Alcohol isn’t something that helps me emotionally

Original poster
colourPink · 21/08/2023 18:11

Thank you so much everyone, you've really reassured me.

For everyone asking I really enjoyed the wine! Not something I plan on making a habit but it was definitely needed.

As for the "friend" I think most of you are right - I feel very hurt by her comment on a day where I've barely kept myself together.

Thanks to everyones well wishes and condolences. It's really helped settle my worries.

OP posts:
Srvive · 21/08/2023 18:12

Sorry for your loss and that a friend was so rude to you at the funeral.

My view is a glass of wine is lovely, but not really essential or guaranteed to make you relax. But it's your choice, in the face of facts that say this isn't a huge risk.

It's fine to have a personal opinion on avoiding it yourself, but not tell someone else what to do when they're doing no harm.

ttcttc · 21/08/2023 18:13

I'm pregnant and had a couple on holiday. Confessed to the midwife and she looked at me like I was mad and said I'm just putting you don't drink. You'll be fine.

Tell bitchy to f*ck off

Cinderz123 · 21/08/2023 18:14

Sorry to hear you have lost ur mum 😔 unless ur friend has been in the same situation she can't compare! It was very cruel and heartless to even make such comments to you whilst ur grieving your loss, u did very well to just have a small glass im not sure I'd have such restraint I'd probably of gone large 😘

chunkychunks · 21/08/2023 18:18

Please ignore your friend - don't know why she said that.

I'm sorry to hear about your mum x