Glass of wine at 35 weeks pregnant

[colourPink]

I had a glass of wine today at my mums funeral. The last few weeks have been awful with her dying very suddenly and being heavily pregnant.

I didn't ask for it but at the wake afterwards my husband came back with it and said one small glass won't hurt and you deserve it. I enjoyed every sip! It really did help settle me down after the service.

However, a friend made a comment at the funeral about it and I'm struggling to let it go. She said something along the lines of "no matter what I was going through I'd never have a drink while pregnant. Too many risks." She then laughed afterwards but it's bugging me.

Maybe I'm feeling especially emotional/sensitive today but since then she's worried me about having one glass. Thoughts?

THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT IS TO STOP FEEDING IT.

Sorry, @colourPink. Enough is enough - there is someone out there who should feel ashamed of themselves and it's not you.

Sorry for your loss. Baby will be fine, nobody has any right to judge you. Disregard her.

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss .
Honestly I’m appalled at your so called friend and her cruel , thoughtless comment ..
I am a very occasional drinker and I had 1 glass of wine when I was pregnant.
My daughter has had perfect health , happy, full of life and is a straight A student at university doing law .
Please take care and look after yourself and come back and let us know when your baby is born and we can congratulate you .
Good luck x

Your friend is an idiot. Just remember some woman don't know they are pregnant straight away and go through months of drinking and smoking and their babies are born healthy. One drink and 35 weeks isn't going to do any harm. You deserve it and I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.
Your midwife will reassure you if you get into contact with her.

@vipersnest1

I am so sorry for your loss .
take care x

@babbi, thank you.
Losing your Mum is a horrible thing, whatever your age - you somehow think your parents will always be there.

This!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss OP.

I'd planned a home birth for my first DC and was really stressed that at 40+ weeks I wasn't going in to labour as if I needed to be induced I'd have to go into hospital.

My midwife told me to have a glass of wine and relax in the evening to make labour more likely. DS1 is 18 next week and currently packing for Leeds festival. Your friend was unkind when you needed support- please don't take any of what she said to heart. Your DH sounds lovely

Sorry for your loss OP

please remove your so called friend from your life

please all ignore any ‘I wouldn’t do it why would you' posts on this thread and just listen to the many parents, midwife’s and doctors that tell you not to give it a second thought

I repeat.

This isn’t a hypothetical scenario in which we are debating opinions. OP feels bad and needs reassurance. The wine has now been drunk, and whatever your feelings, it can’t be undrunk.

So, what you’re doing is repeatedly posting on a heavily pregnant woman’s thread in a manner that is deeply unpleasant and unhelpful. I’m asking you what for? Why are you doing this?

@vipersnest1 Fair point. I’ll stop feeding it.

I have never been a binge drinker nor one for drinking to "de-stress". I'm currently pretty much teetotal these days barring a glass or 2 on Christmas Day.

But after my DMs funeral all I wanted to do was get absolutely arseholed, to block everything out and make the pain go away (thank god for DH who could see the car crash coming and bundled me home!)

I totally understand why you wanted a glass of wine OP, one was fine and your "friend" is a grade A tw@t

There's an absolutely huge difference between one glass of wine and wanting to get arseholed. You've made your point and I'm not sure there's a need for you to keep badgering on the OPs sad post.

Op, i’m so very sorry. I can’t even imagine. Your baby is fine. You did nothing wrong. Wishing you all the best, and hoping for a smooth delivery for you.

@becksbeer123 We’re all different. I feel like I need and want a glass of wine to destress. It helps. You have no right to suggest there’s better ways to “cope” when someone has lost a parent when heavily pregnant. It was ONE glass of wine.

It's an insensitive thing to say but she only stated facts I suppose. I didn't either, bit I didn't have to attend my mother's funeral either.

But if you made that decision and feel fine about it why let what she did affect you?

It's fine by the way because it matters most in the beginning, not the end, as development has happened by then.

Sorry about your mother. You either knew what you did was fine so her comment is redundant. Or you made a decision you would not normally have done because of the situation, and it's done now, and her comment is redundant.

@becksbeer123 Alcohol is not safe full stop, it's literally poison.

No one thinks it's great to drink, even when not pregnant, but once you are 35 weeks the baby is pretty well formed and it's not likely much damage can be done at that stage. Brain is still growing of course. But one glass of wine is not going to do much harm. But of course you should avoid it anyway, pregnant or not.

I always wonder when people parrot this line about no safe limits whether they understand the evidence and rationale behind the updated advice.

@becksbeer123 Why bother? Because she wanted to. It helped her at the time.

Read “expecting better” by Emily Oster. We simply aren’t “trusted” to know when to stop and so they say to abstain. Obviously pregnant women lose all rationale and can’t possibly think clearly 🙄

Op was sensible, she had 1 drink to take the edge off.

Her “friend” was incredibly rude and had no bloody right to comment over 1 glass.

They don't know the difference 😂

13 weeks and this thread is making me want to drink heavily.

Sorry for your loss, OP. Your friend is, at best, thoughtless.