My partner wants to buy, doesn’t want to put all his savings into rental prices and deposits etc. Which I understand. I have barely any savings nor can I be part of the mortgage as I’m still in receipt of benefits and my salary without the single parent help is way under £10k a year.
He is self employed so I’m not sure what we do there.
My current house, I should be grateful but it’s a nightmare and in the winter (I really hoped not to have another one here) is hard work. The house is freezing and damp and I’m constantly fighting against mould everywhere, I found my own bedroom particularly difficult on my chest so this worries me for baby. The landlord is private and although family of a long term friend , they won’t or can’t im not sure do much else to the property as I mentioned it several times last year and my rent went up 3 times!
im trying not to worry but I have a weird thing where I don’t feel settled unless I have a clearer picture of how things might work out, if not then my mind gets swamped with dread and I shut down a little. I understand my partner must be feeling some pressure as realistically he will have to be the main breadwinner as I don’t see how else I can save or contribute , unless I do something else on Maternity leave without it going through the books? Or turn a hobby into something to make some pennies.
Im waffling on so this is my mind freaking out 😅
It’s hard and I don’t know what to do.
He annoyed me because he said the timing wasn’t exactly right (it wasn’t planned) and I thought to myself, it’s never going to be the right time when it’s not planned!
I just have a feeling of dread . I remember a couple of years back I made a shit decision to terminate a pregnancy and my gran told me I did the right thing otherwise a third child would ruin me.
I have that comment floating around in my head wondering if this is all a big mistake. Then j have the feelings of huge guilt for even thinking that.
oh my
I sound awful don’t I?