Due January 2024 🎉 PART 3

[Lilothblos]

Continue here all!

Just catching up.

Fellow teacher here @sashastuck - if you don't want to return after the Christmas break at all then put your start date of Mat leave as the first day you’d be due back in school (E.g. 2 January).

If bub arrives earlier than that then your Mat leave will automatically kick in from the day they’re born.

@Muriel84 DH won't be coming to booking appointment, made that mistake first time round and it felt really pointless. Apart from the questions about his family medical history but I know how to answer those.

Although, could be useful if he was there this time for me just to support, gets hard when they start talking about pregnancy and birth history etc.

Got my booking appointment at 10.30am today and absolutely dreading it. Will give me a chance to ask about my dating scan appointment though.

DH will come to all my Consultant appointments though, as that's where decision making will happen and sometimes on the day decisions too. He just won't come to my MW apps.

@Kalodin all the best for your appointment today

@Muriel84 I took DH to my booking appointment, it's our first so we had no idea what to expect or didn't know if he'd be needed. I think as everything's so new to both us, it was nice for him to be there and feel involved! It was easy for us though as he works from home so could easily nip out. I would say if you're not bothered either way then they don't really need to be there, as others have said it's just loads of questions, not that interesting!

@Muriel84 I didn't take mine to booking appointment and he would have hated it! An hour of going over 'pointless' in his opinion likely, medical history questions, like the longest questionnaire ever, hardly anything about baby or what to expect, like someone else says they will be asked to step out for a bit while asked questions about your safety and relationship

I think if they want to go then that's totally fine but it's really up to yourselves!

Sat here crying feeling like an idiot, turned up and they had no clue why I was there or who I was.

Refused to take my bloods and urine at the very least and told me I would have to go through the whole booking process again

I even showed them my appointment confirmation email and they were so rude to me telling me I'd just have to leave and start again.

I am so scared I'm going to have another baby that dies now. I lost my second son because the hospital failed to spot sepsis when my waters broke and it feels like they're all so incompetent still

Sorry you weren’t seen @Kalodin that’s not good at all and like you say, doesn’t fill you with confidence.

I know I'm being dramatic and over emotional. My emotions are always a mess as it's my dead son' birth month, the month where all the hospital failing started. And I'm finding it so triggering going through all this again.

I asked if they would at least take my bloods and urine sample today and do me a telephone appointment but they said no. I asked how long will it be until I can expect to get a booking appointment and they said 2-3 weeks so looks like I'll miss out on the blood tests now as I'm almost 8 weeks now

I’m so sorry @Kalodin , you’re not being over dramatic at all, it’s totally understandable that this is triggering, and very poor from them. Is there an option to consider another hospital and self refer there instead?

Not dramatic at all @Kalodin - that sounds horrendous. So sorry to hear about your son 💐

Could you contact your bereavement midwife? S/he should be able to help you navigate this.

Had my booking appointment on Friday took my OH with me (my first but he has a 15yr old). He tried being as supportive as he can, answering the questions relating to his family history.

Less supportive yesterday when I started bleeding. spent 9 hours up ED by myself.

Have to go back tomorrow for a scan, had to beg him not to make me go by myself.

That sounds awful @Kalodin, how dare they be so dismissive of you when the mistake was theirs or their system’s. What did they say when you showed them your confirmation email?

@MsLaidBack Sorry to hear that. Is your OH usually unsupportive? I think I’d be asking him why he doesn’t want to be more involved or supportive. Wishing you luck with your scan tomorrow.

You won’t miss out on bloods @Kalodin as most can be done at any time, just preferable pre 10weeks and the combined screening is up to 13+6. I understand how it’s all pretty triggering. Do you have access to a bereavement midwife? Or can you find a number online to speak to someone higher up and explain the situation?

@Kalodin that's ridiculous, I'm so sorry, hopefully they can get you booked in again soon, don't worry about the blood tests there's still plenty of time you just need to have them done before the scan, I booked in on week 8 and not having bloods done until middle of week 10... as they don't do them at the same appointment apparently! 🙈 hopefully it'll get resolved soon.

@MsLaidBack Sorry to hear about husband, sometimes they're idiots honestly! Wonder if he's scared and trying to stay away from dealing with it but yeah, no excuse really! I hope all is ok when you go for the scan 🤞

Thanks everyone, I have phoned my bereavement MW (who is brilliant) and she is sorting it out for me to find out whats happened. She's frustrated too that this has happened because she had briefed the MW about my history beforehand etc.

Really hope your scan is okay @MsLaidBack And so sorry that your husband is not being supportive here, what's his reasoning behind it? It makes no sense surely?

@ItsAJourney he is very supportive in his own way he just struggles to express his emotions and finds it hard when things are out of his control as he can normally "fix" things for me when they're going wrong.

I know deep down he's 💩ing himself, but he's trying to put on a brave face for me.

Thank you I hope it goes well to and its just the UTI they think I have

@suz2285 @Kalodin I do think it's fear. He is naturally a calm, level headed and laid back person, we're total opposites (my username is ironic lol). But I just wish he was more present. I get that there isn't anything he can do but just try and be a little more attentive, if that makes sense,

@Kalodin I am so sorry for what happened to you today. Hopefully they sort you a new appointment ASAP

@Kalodin That’s terrible of them. I don’t understand how things like that can happen. They should have at least apologised. I known it’s likely not the person at the desk’s fault but they should be sympathetic. If you’re feeling up for it I’d put in a complaint.

@Kalodin That’s terrible of them. I don’t understand how things like that can happen. They should have at least apologised. I known it’s likely not the person at the desk’s fault but they should be sympathetic.

@MsLaidBack I'm 100% having the same issue with my husband, he doesn't seem even a little bit interested or excited most of the time, I've had to actually ask him if he's happy we're pregnant!! But I had a MC last time and he basically said he didn't want to get his hopes up until we knew all was ok, even after 2 good scans and telling my folks at the weekend he still seems very chill about the whole thing

I think also it's not happening to them, but you'd think they could empathise (my DH has zero empathy tbh!) my dad also said he felt not massively emotional about the baby (me) until I was born and handed to him in the delivery room... so I guess it's really very different to them, but it's hard being the one receiving no empathy!

So sorry about what happened today @Kalodin . For the record you are not being overly dramatic at all. Hope it all gets sorted and you will still get your bloods done I’m sure x

So sorry @Kalodin For what it's worth I don't think you're being dramatic at all, it definitely would've thrown me into a spiral of anxiety and my initial reaction would probably be to never ever want to go back ! I'm glad your bereavement midwife is on the case x

@Kalodin so sorry to hear you had so bad experience today and you definitely were not over dramatic. If I'd be you I'd probably contact someone higher and bring it to their attention what happened today and how you were treated.

@MsLaidBack firstly all the best for tomorrow's scan. it's not nice feeling when your oh behaves like that but best thing to do is talk to him and explain how it makes you feel.
I had ectopic pregnancy 2 years ago and now im finally pregnant again. My oh is in different country and almost every time when i text him something about the baby or put up a pic i don't get a reply (other than that he's always been really supportive on everything else) . I just had a chat with him the other day. He said he's afraid and scared, even tho on the same time he's so happy that he wants to shout it from the roof tops lol i told him im scared aswell and when he doesn't reply to baby things it's not making things easier for me. Luckily that chat helped. So talk talk talk 😁

I had my endocrinologist appointment today. i showed her my previous blood test results before my pregnancy. she asked was this a planned pregnancy and when i said yes she said my doctor should have put me to thyroid medication straight away because I've antibodies (it runs in family) 😔 so another blood test in about 15 days and then back to her in 20 days. probably have to have THS blood test every month or so to make sure it stays ok.

@Kalodin sorry your experience was so unnecessarily stressful! Sounds like your bereavement mw has your back though.

@MsLaidBack hope your DH pulls himself together before your scan tomorrow and all goes well.

Can’t get my 12 week scan changed and DH is away with work so will miss it 😢 taking my MIL instead who is thrilled he’s away 😂 will ask her to get lots of videos for him.

I’m 10+3 today. Now I’m not spending 99% of my day with my head in the toilet it’s all going by pretty quickly!