Due December 2023 part 3

[Justanothercyster]

Starting a new thread as I can't see one, but if there is one please let me know! Will tag as many people as I can remember below

Haha love the DTD comment. I actually really want to but yes the sickness doesn't help, and I'm really paranoid about "jolting" things around too much. I know it's silly.

Hi ladies,

I am new to this thread. Im due in December and I’m 10 weeks today. This is my second pregnancy and I’m really struggling with nausea, sickness and fatigue. I’ve been put on anti-sickness but it’s not really helping me. My medical team believes I should be getting sign off as I really struggle to work and I need to sleep so much as I’m so tired. Im currently on part time (I returned to work recently after my long maternity leave) but the past 2 weeks I had to blag and ask to work from home as I can’t leave the house without vomiting. My new boss was a bit weird with me when I told her again that I won’t be coming in just working from home and she made me feel very uncomfortable. I’ve been pushing so hard and I feel like I will be getting signed off next week.

My question is: What do you ask your gp to put on the sick note? I do not wish to disclose my pregnancy with anyone at work at this stage yet and I want to keep it private as I’ve not even told my family yet. It was a planned pregnancy and we are so happy but I was hoping it would be easier this time round. it’s actually worse and I’ve been pushing too much and it’s now impacting me both mentally and physically.

any tips would be much appreciated :)

@Justanothercyster not silly at all. I felt same for weeks worried it would cause a MC

@Kat2022 I think it's better than the pregnancy is on your sick note because pregnancy related sick leave is not treated in the same way as normal sick leave:

"Your employer must record any pregnancy-related sickness absence separately from other sick leave, so that pregnancy-related sickness absence is ignored as absence and is not used to your disadvantage e.g. for disciplinary action, dismissal or redundancy."

@Kat2022 I felt the same way in my first pregnancy and the GP just recorded "sickness" as the reason on the sick note. Just ask.

Thanks. Yes I am aware of my protected rights but I am hoping to go with the normal sick leave if I could avoid disclosing my pregnancy at this stage. It’s so tricky and I’m just exhausted with this whole situation.

@Kat2022 yes I would just ask the GP to put down sickness. I'm pretty sure you're still protected from further action even if your manager is unaware of your pregnancy? I could be wrong but eg if they turned round and said you were going to be disciplined, it would need to be retracted when you do eventually reveal your pregnancy. Maybe someone with real employment law understanding will be along shortly but that's what I took from it.

@Kat2022 I am in a similar situation. I only started my job about 3 weeks ago and found out I was pregnant not long after I was offered job. Up until last week I was wfh and hiding the sickness then it all went tits up when I was ill last week with bleeding and pain and then allergic reaction to antibiotics. I didn't want to tell my job until after my 12 week scan incase worse should happen. So told them it was a UTI for now if they get funny about me having time off then will have to tell them truth.

@99SR im Sorry about your loss ❤️ yes the midwife wasn’t happy about it at all and said ‘just be aware they’re just there to make money’ I said I know wanna know if somethings in there with a heart beat :) she’s coming round tomorrow to pick up paperwork before my scan so I’ll probably have another lecture 😂

@Kat2022 It's a very personal decision when you tell anyone (including work) about a pregnancy, when I have had sick notes they have asked whether I'd be happy for them to say that it was pregnancy related (which I was) but I'm sure they are used to putting something more generic!

I had a miscarriage last year and actually found I ended up telling more people at work (HR) that I was having a miscarriage than I told that I was pregnant (just my line manager). But then the company I work for is very supportive, they encourage us to use sick leave for mental health as well as physical health and actually let me take a day of compassionate leave too (I am aware I am very lucky with where I work...).

@midnights0 i didn’t actually have a loss, thankfully.
went to EPU for a reassurance scan this morning, baby is measuring 9+1 and waved at us 🩷 hoping everything goes fine now.
i also haven’t DTD as I can’t face potentially bleeding and having that trigger me!
does anyone know why you’re not supposed to have more than 1 scan in 2 weeks? I really wanted a private scan at around 10’weeks but now I’m not sure if I can.

@99SR oh gosh sorry I read your previous message wrong! So happy baby is looking good for you, my scan is tomorrow at 8+2 and I’m so nervous I’m throwing up 🤢

@99SR sonographers don't like to scan more than every two weeks because of growth. It won't have changed enough for them, two weeks is plenty of time for baby to grow 😊

@99SR so pleased your scan went well. It's a big relief for sure seeing them again isn't it? 2 weeks tomorrow is my 12 week scan ill actually be 12+5 counting down the days!

Noob question what is DTD?

@Soundbathfan doing the deed. Sexy time basically lol

I think the nausea has started for me. The last three days around dinner time I've had that horrible hangover feeling where nothing at all helps 🤢 I'm always fine again in the morning after I've slept it off. I've still managed to eat, and haven't been sick, so hopefully it doesn't get any worse! 🙏

@Charlielechat that’s the exact same as me!! around dinner time. But I force myself to eat dinner to just get it over with.

@wannabemum38 oh yay! That’s exciting. Not long at all.

@midnights0 that’s ok! Is your scan private? Or through EPU? I felt like that too but the relief you feel when it’s good is amazing. Goodluck!

@99SR I'm glad it's not during work hours, but I love my dinner so really not fair 😂

@99SR the scan is private! I’ll let you know how it goes! I can’t sleep 👀

@99SR I'm so glad your scan went well 💕

@Charlielechat I start to feel iffy around dinner too, bloody annoying! I think it's when the sickness pills wear off but hopefully yours doesn't get any worse!

I've started to feel more sick in the evenings around dinner time too in the last week. Before it was more so in the mornings and I could eat and make it better.
Recently it's been in the evenings and eating makes it worse, went out for dinner with DH last night and couldn't finish my meal as I felt too nauseous.
I'm wondering if it also doesn't help that I'm shattered by the evening too so a culmination of the 2 is making it worse.

I ended up going to a&e after work yesterday as I had another bad turn. They've given me new meds for the nausea and gave me advice I thought I'd share
Trying eating every 1-2 hours, even if it's just a plain cracker
Eat more protein, it helps keep nausea away
And try eat more calories if you're eating less such as if you can tolerate biscuits hobnobs have more calories

Really hoping all this helps me 🤞🏻

I've just had my first lot of heaving when I brush my teeth. 😟

@Clucket87 i get the heaving when I brush my teeth 😂 my gag reflex is terrible atm, havnt physically been sick yet and hoping it stays that way, just waves of nausea here and there x