Is there really no time for a cuppa with a newborn?

[feijoo]

I am due in 5 weeks with my first born and one particular question keeps going around my head.

If newborns sleep up to 17 hours a day, why am I reading everywhere that there is no time for parents to make/drink a cuppa, go to the toilet, shower etc? I can't understand it. If baby falls asleep after a feed, you put them in crib/bassinet for their nap, why can't you make a cuppa?

I am very confused and starting to second guess myself - am I being naive? I fully understand that having a newborn is a relentless cycle of feeding, nappy change and sleep but I am quite keen to have my baby and get on with my life e.g. do things while they are sleeping.

Any clarification greatly appreciated. xx

My firstborn cried pretty much non-stop for the first 16 weeks. He slept in 3 minute bursts here and there.

He also had an amazing knack of waking up the moment I’d sat down with a cup of coffee and doing an explosive poo.

it was easier once he was older - 5/6 months plus - and had long lunchtime naps. The problem was that I felt I had to fit 101 things into that brief window when I could gets things done.

Well, I had twins who didn’t like sleeping in beds and took aaaaaages to feed, one after the other. By the time one was finished eating and being winded, the other was either dealing with reflux or was hungry again. I didn’t sleep more than 30 minutes at a stretch for the first 6 weeks. That was fun.

Before having DCs I naively thought they would sleep and eat and hadn’t anticipated the huge debacle to get them to do these 2 things!!
You will be able to make a cuppa but you might not be able to drink it hot. Good Luck.

I’ve had 3 children. They were all different. But there was never a time when I couldn’t put them down in a cot or Moses basket or bouncy chair etc to make a cup of tea or cook or whatever. Looking back, with my first, I probably worried about whether I was doing things ‘right’ all the time….I had no real experience or expectation with babies…but I don’t think I pandered to every little cry. I did breastfeed them all.
Sometimes all they need is a gentle rock or touch of their hand or head to know you are nearby. You have to try not to sit there gazing in wonderment and adoration sometimes! I’m sure you will find a way that works for you.

Is it a bit worrying that i can't remember?
I just recall always taking the time to make drinks and sandwiches before sitting down to breastfeed so we could both relax and eat together

Those halcyon days!

To be honest nothing anyone says can prepare you. It's one of those things you have to experience to fully understand.
I can say youl be knackered but you won't understand how much until you actually are.
Babys sleep but they also cry, eat, poop some have colic, some have reflux some don't want to sleep. Some are clingy and won't be out down etc no one can say if youl have time to do bits because your baby will be completely different to theirs. Mine for example had cmpa and reflux and the first few months until she got special milk and we got that under control was difficult becouse she cried a lot. Once she was feeling better she was better and I could do the odd thing with her in her bouncer watching. Babies quite often want you because they are used to you so you don't get much time. When they are alseep your usually doing some quick washing or bottle washing as well lol
Good luck honestly you get through it. Stop worrying and just roll with the flow.

I can only speak from my own experience. My DS slept for most of the day and night happily in his cot or moses basket. I had hours to dri k coffee and have showers. I was a single mum.
He is very laid back as an adult too.
Dsis baby won't be put down foe a second.

I think it depends on your baby and on you. I put both my babies down for naps. My first was easier than the other but I was keen that’s what I wanted to do.

I also didn’t pick them up every time they made the slightest sound after being in the cot for 5 minutes.

I loved having newborns… enjoy it because it goes so fast. Life is too short to wish time away.

I suppose it depends on how your baby is, but I was able to deep clean my house with my newborn.. he would sleep for 4 hours at a time in his Moses basket and I’d get loads done! He was never bothered about being put down.

Well I managed to keep my weight on so must have managed to eat and drink ok!

I put my baby into a Moses basket from when she was born. I did drink warm tea, she did sleep.

As many have said it depends on the baby. Mine did not sleep for more than 10 mins in the day so my first genuine hot drink was when I returned to work at 7 months for a kit day, I wish I was lying. My sisters friends baby on the other hand is an angel and just sits there nicely so probably many hot cups of tea were managed to be consumed I imagine. Congrats and good luck!!!

.

I drank loads of tea when home with a newborn. It kept me going. Also ate a lot of sandwiches. Buy loads of milk, tea, coffee, bread, cakes etc

People do love to tell you how hard it is but actually I found the newborn stage quite chilled. Although don’t get me wrong, you will be very tired! You will have days when you can do things and then there will be days when your baby won’t be put down and you cuddle them all day on the sofa watching tv! When they get older, naps get more predictable and longer and it’s easier to plan things. Just enjoy the newborn cuddles!

Do you realise how insulting you are being by suggesting that those of us who dare to put our babies down to blow our noses (a task taking a matter of SECONDS) are not “genuinely prioritising” our newborns? Or that we are “doing a poor job” with them? This is delusional.

It's rubbish, having had 3 kids and 2 of them were in the space of 18 months I can confirm I drank a lot of tea. Even my incredibly fussy first child I managed to drink gallons. I think it's just another of those daft things people say when you are pregnant. What I will say though is I haven't slept undisturbed in 7 years 🤣, now that's an issue.

Well, some of my friends had babies who just slept in their Moses’ baskets. Most had babies that wanted to be held all the time until they were 12 or 14 weeks.

My two both had severe reflux, were born early, and were slow feeders. So I would spend 45 minutes feeding them, and they would then projectile vomit everywhere. I would have to change them, change myself, clean the floor and change the towels I had covering the sofa. Then start again with another feed. Then hold them upright while they slept for a few minutes (15-30, usually). Then I had to walk around with them to try settle them while they kept refluxing. And I had to pump for 20 minutes every 3 hours as they couldn’t latch

When I had a spare moment, I had to sterilise breast pump equipment and bottles, and wash puke-covered clothing and towels.

And then the whole 3-hour cycle of feeding, vomiting, sleeping, pumping, and cleaning started again!

After the first 48 hours, My first baby slept for max 30 mins at a time, only in me, for the first 6 weeks.
The most difficult time in my life and she’s a teen now!
I remember getting spoon fed by DH ok a few occasions in the early days as I was using both hands to try to hold the baby to the breast successfully for hours.
Its a combination of what your baby is like and also your experience with babies / being a mum.

I found the article on the Fourth Trimester on the NCT’s website really helpful in understanding what a newborn might need - do have a look at that if you can.

Purely from a practical standpoint, I was too scared to drink hot tea right next to my baby as I'm very clumsy. But I was holding him all the time for the first few weeks. It was a few years ago for me now, but I vividly remember gleefully drinking boiling hot tea in the shower as it was my only guaranteed uninterrupted 10 minutes of the day!

My first was a shock because he just cried most of the time for the first 3 months.

My second slept all the time when he was born, and because of our experience with the first, we took him to our GP to see what was wrong and apparently they do that too.

I think it very much depends on the baby. Have to admit that for me it wasn't the magical time that some people have, it was just really hard work.

They're lovely as teens though, we get on very well 😊

Totally depends on the baby. I found a comfy cloth sling an absolute godsend for making cups of tea and brushing my hair.
Good luck and enjoy - it’s tiring but it’s magic xx

No. You were just lucky with the temperament of your baby or had more support than someone else.