Whats it like juggling a baby with a 2 yr old????

[jackamolsmum]

Ok here goes- have just found out that I am pregnant surprisingly quickly - (we only made the decision 2 weeks ago to have another). I thought it would take much longer TC. I've just done my dates and worked out that the new baby will arrive pretty much the same week as my ds's 2nd bday! Can anyone fill me in on life with a 2 yr old and baby?

I'm very happy about the pregnancy but slightly apprehensive and mildly scared about the prospect of juggling 2 under 2!

Come and have a look at life on the 'two under 2 support thread!' Its a manic rollercoaster of good and bad days, but hanging on to the belief that it will be very easy in a couple of years when the sleepless nights and nappies end!

Congratulations by the way.

Argh, beat me to it smallwhitecat!

Have you got the thread title, or a link please My DS will be 22 months when Next one arrives in July... I'm starting to get a bit scared too!

Gosh sorry - crossed posts

Thanks- i'll do that. Am hoping that they'll be good friends- its just the potty training and feeding all through day that scares me somewhat! (If memory serves- I seemed to have my ds constantly on my boob for 6 months lol).

Very dangerous I would say. Start off with something easier like flaming brands or knives....

Actually I found it hard when we went out anywhere. My eldest was 2.3 when DD was born and it was difficult. He was a very energetic child and hard to control. I used to dread going out with them both.

And I found it hard that I couldn't spend as much time playing with him as I had done. But as soon as she was able to sit up and communicate with him it got easier. She stopped being a pointless lump and started being a companion.

shall let you know in approx 5 weeks time! dd2 will be a month of her 2nd birthday!

I need to join that thread too - DC2 due when DD will be 17 months. V scared at the prospect (but happy too!)!

you will be fine just dont plan too much and take it a day at a time,

oh and try to get out for a walk a couple of days a week to clear the cobwebs. I remember really stressing when each dd was due but it was fine and easier than I expected

It's hard work, fun, and different from only having the one or having them further apart.
You will become very good at working out what elements of babycare are essential and which are unimportant. You will find entertaining the baby a doddle because they have a big brother to watch. You will be tired. It will be noisy. Some days their nappy changes will be perfectly synchronised, other days you will feel like you are changing a nappy every half hour.
You will be very very happy when they play together, and surprised how soon this starts happening.

by the look of that thread- Sainsbury's shares in rose are going to go up by November (after my DD lol). yikes. My one consolation is that DS is a good sleeper...now if he can only sleep through a crying baby....

was thinking of using a sling to get round the double buggy issue- has anyone had any success with this with this?

We had an 18 month age gap and got away without a double buggy until ds was 10 months, when we got a Phil & Ted and quite frankly wished we'd got it a lot sooner!
I think you can start off with a sling quite easily because newborns like being close to you and they don't weigh an awful lot, but sooner or later they get heavy. You might find with a 2 year gap you can do without, though, esp if your ds likes walking and is prepared to ride on a buggy board.

Hard but it gets better (I had a 19 month age gap) and although my two fight a lot they also play together a lot. After the first year it got much easier.

Remember that all the baby needs is milk and love, but that the toddler needs Mummy. I did not take on board this simple advice from my excellent HV, and lived to regret it. Don't split the burden along the obvious lines of mum taking the baby and dad takig the older child. It may seem like a good thing, that the older child gets a lot of concentrated attention from dad, and doesnt' get the baby pushed in his face, but it doesn't work out that way in the long run. My relationship with my 1st child completely disintegrated, and it took a lot of hard work to rebuild our relationship.

BTW, I have a just-over-2y gap between 2 of mine, and a just-under-4y gap to the next baby - the 2y gap was much easier to manage than the bigger gap.

It may seem scarey now, but when you see your baby smiling for his or her big brother, when you see your boy doing his toddler-best to make his baby laugh, when you see how gently those clumsy pudgy fingers can hold tiny delicate hands, when you see how your big boy is both fantastically mature and yet still a baby...you'll know it will all be fine.

Congratulations

Haven't read thread, but for me it was not much fun. For me after the first 2 yrs it got better, however my circumstances made it harder - no support from DH who'd just started a new business, no support from elderly parents, no car to get out of the house with. All this has changed now.

BTW, get your ds used to sitting next to you and holding the book while you read to him. A cushion on his lap can help him balance the book. This will make it much easier for you to read to him while feeding the baby. If you don't have to hold the book, then you have one hand free to cuddle him, adjust latch, scratch nose, etc. It worked very well for us.

Good advice from Pretty candles re the book holding.

I had 23 months between my 2 boys, this time there'll be 6 and 8 years!! It was difficult going from 1 to 2 but the baby was easy. Organisation obviously helps and on a good day I would prepare snacks fro ds1 and a mini packed lunch so that if baby was feeding at critical times food was ready which helped.

I had a double buggy and it was invaluable for me, to get them strapped in and out of the house. Just to walk into town for a pint of milk helped to clear my head!!

Thankfully ds1 was still having an afternoon nap when ds2 was small so when he went down I also lay down with ds2 and fed him and had a nap myself rather than rushing round trying to do housework!!

It was all worth it - they are very close now .

Thanks everyone for your advice- some really helpful advice here.

Prettycandles your comments really touched me- am hoping that they will be good friends. My ds is a gentle soul so hopefully will take to being the big brother well.

I'll start getting him in training with the book holding too!

Here Here jackamolsmum, some great advice I can take on board! This is why I love MN! Feel abit better about it now (not that I can do anything about it now!)

Re buggies, I couldn't resist and have bought a P&T and I'm already using it! Best thing ever! I will try the slingt thing too, but think that if we have a hot summer, baby will be best off with some 'breathing space'

What a lovely post Prettycandles.

I am expecting my second in October when ds1 will be 19 months. My main worry is that ds has only slept through the night once or twice, I can't imagine what sleepless nights with two will be like.

I still can't wait though

Oh, I'm glad I found this, I've just found I'm pg again with no.3 and ds2 will only be 22 months. There's 3 years b/t ds1 and ds2 whereas ds2 isn't even walking yet so I'm wondering what on earth I'll be doing with him whilst endlessly feeding the baby. Plus school runs to fit in as ds1 starts school a few weeks before I'm due. I'm finding it hard to feel positive about the new baby, just thinking of ALL the work (2 in cloth etc). Although actually my 2 are 3 years apart and are v.close so I can only hope it will be better. I should know better, but it's different every time.