Whats it like juggling a baby with a 2 yr old????

[jackamolsmum]

Ok here goes- have just found out that I am pregnant surprisingly quickly - (we only made the decision 2 weeks ago to have another). I thought it would take much longer TC. I've just done my dates and worked out that the new baby will arrive pretty much the same week as my ds's 2nd bday! Can anyone fill me in on life with a 2 yr old and baby?

I'm very happy about the pregnancy but slightly apprehensive and mildly scared about the prospect of juggling 2 under 2!

[disneystar]

the age gap between 2 of my boys is 12 mths it was hard gettin into the routine but once there fine the funny thing is they always seemed to sleep at the same time fill there nappies at the same time they were so intune with each other weird there 7 and 6 now and like chalk and cheese but fantastic when they were younger i sure needed me time though albeit hairdressers going out for coffe/lunch whatever some adult time i think is good made me feel im still a person not just a mum im expecting my 7th in july and cant wait people think im mad but as someone already said on here dont worry if plans you have made go wrong improvise and do something else instead im a stickler for routines it works for us maybe not for others but once established its ok but just have fun with your kids i find if i laugh so do they (unless there having a grumpy half hour )

[madmumNika]

There is 2.2yrs between my DS & DD, and I have to say although it was chaos at first it wasn't as bad as I feared!
DP couldn't take paternity leave and I'd had a c-section due to PE with DD so we enlisted the help of MIL, who would move it for 3 days at a time to help with the cooking, house maintenance and letting my have time with DS whenever DD was sleeping. For the first month she was a godsend, after that I was back on my feet, DD was going a wee bit longer between feeds & I could drive- suddenly life got a bit easier and more enjoyable again!!

Like others have said it's critical that you try to find time to spend with your eldest as they will need that. At least newborns sleep a lot even if only for short periods so you can do play-doh, painting, reading, singing etc. with your eldest while the LO sleeps without having to leave the house. During the mammoth feeding sessions that DD had we'd resort to DVDs quite a bit to keep DS from marauding around the house causing havoc (he was at that age!) but as he got used to me breastfeeding DD he learnt to play around us- I'd always sit on the sofa to feed DD so DS could sit next to us, often we'd read stories or play little games (the advantage of breastfeeding is having one hand spare!). I very much involved DS with DD's care- he'd help change nappies (handing me cotton wool etc.), bath her etc. To this day he loves helping out and has never yet been violent/aggressive towards her, which was my greatest fear.

DD is now 7 months old and DS 2.10yrs and life has got into a good routine (DD sleeps through luckily, so we have evenings back after they both go to bed at around 7.30pm ), although we are pretty flexible too...

Getting out was tough at first, we have a dog that needs lots of walking and DS needs these too or else will wreck the house (bless) so I found a sling for the baby best- DS is a great walker (I trained him during last months of pregnancy by walking for 30 miins each day with the dog, which worked well!!) so we rarely use a pushchair (only when going into town for shopping). Now DD is in a backpack which is even more comfortable and still leaves my hands free to keep a tight hold of DS' hand!

There are certainly many days where it seems like utter chaos, or takes HOURS to get out of the house (still doing 2 lots of nappies etc.)- and it's taken me a while to not worry about how messy the house is! But watching the two of them together makes it so worth while- DD just adores DS, and he's pretty enamoured with her too. I know they'll fight at times (already she's after all his cars etc. so the word "share" is being used A LOT!) but hopefully their closeness will last.

Good Luck!! And enlist the help of as many people as possible in the first couple of months!

[madmumNika]

sorry excuse all the typos - should really previw before posting!! got my two on my lap though!!

[jackamolsmum]

wow thanks everyone for your stories. There is some really positive helpful advice on here (god I love MN!). I know that the first few months will be hard as I will need a CS- but hey at least it will be winter so we can hibernate for the weeks after!

Thanks again everyone (madmumnika- i really loved your story- thanks for sharing)

[melpomene]

My dd2 arrived 5 days before dd1's 2nd birthday. I prepared dd1 beforehand using this book, which is great. I was expecting it to be tough having a 2yr old plus baby, but it was actually much easier than I thought it would be. Newborns sleep so much (in the day, at least!) so it's possible to find time for the toddler.

If you know that you are going to have a CS then it's a good idea to train the older one to climb into their pushchair, car seat and highchair/dining seat by themselves beforehand, so they aren't reliant on being lifted.

I used a Huggababy sling for dd2, which made it a lot easier to get out and to do activities with dd1. DD2 could sleep (and bf) in the sling. I also enrolled dd1 as a helper (bringing nappies, singing to dd2 etc). Staying active and getting out and about really helped. If you can afford it, it's also nice if the older one can have 1 or 2 sessions per week at playgroup/nursery/CM (especially if they were doing that before the baby arrived). That gives a bit of breathing space for you, time to bond with the baby.

Of course there are manic moments; I remember one occasion when dd2 had a leaky nappy, I stripped her naked on the changing mat and she did a wee all over herself, and then I realised that dd1 had pooed in her nappy and stuck her hands into it. So I had to decide whom to deal with first - dd2 lying naked in a pool of urine, or dd1 heading towards our sofa with poo-covered hands. Then the doorbell rang...

The toughest time was when dd2 learned to crawl; dd1 saw her as a threat and became quite jealous for a while. Most of the time, though, they have a positive relationship and seeing them play together, and care for each other, is one of the best feelings in the world. As they grow, they are close enough in age to have similar interests and enjoy the same toys. They often tell each other that they love each other.