Due October 2023 - thread 6

[Soda123x]

Hi all new thread again as they are filling up very fast.
Baby #2 for me. Due 24.10.23 - not finding out sex xx

@HVHT Hi! We only have private classes here too. I haven't done any before and never feel as though I was missing out as a result but I know people who found the NCT classes useful. I think a lot of them focus on pre-birth, birthing and breast-feeding - I formula fed both mine from the start so that wasn't relevant, but the actual "what to do with this tiny human" bit doesn't seem to be covered in many courses. Best to look at what each offers then decide, but I can assure you that you'll figure it out if you don't take a class - if my kids are still alive, anyone can do it 😂

@HVHT my area has in person NHS antenatal classes.

@Chanteuse these are great numbers, you must be relieved.

@Ss32 congratulations!

@katherine123x I am single so no proper response to you question :) I guess in a way it is one worry less but with all nausea and exhaustion I don't have a high drive.

I had a rough day today, woke up to a bleed and was directed to the E&A and from there to the Ob-gyn department. I spent the whole morning there to be checked out and they checked the baby's heartbeat. I heard it for the first time. I was told the baby is fine, I am not - I have a lesion on my cervix and it is likely I will bleed more. It's just so unnerving and tiring. Apparently this thing is quite common due to the hormonal changes but still. I do have to say the staff was wonderful, they gave me my own room with a bed which really helped with all the wait, I was given lunch and they check both, the baby and me (pap test). I was told no hiking, no strenuous work...I am already as lazy as it gets, but now no prospect of any spring outing, trip etc. It's a battle. (sorry for the long sob but I am just so down today).

@peonygirl this sounds like a traumatic day! Look after yourself 💗

@peonygirl - wow, that is a lot. I hope you have a bit of support and time to take care of yourself.

@peonygirl hope you’re ok 💕 it sounds like a long, exhausting day. I’m so happy your baby is ok 🤍🤍

@peonygirl I'm so glad your baby is OK but also so sorry that you've had such a rough day. Do whatever you need to in order to relax and rest

@DancingNancies i think that was my main concern that I’m going to miss out on some huge chunk of parent info! I think I will just chat to other friends who have kids/ my mum, Will still have a look, but a friend of a friend said they paid £200 for classes! Which seems insane! Seems unfair that some areas offer it and others don’t.
@peonygirl hope your okay, sounds a full on day

@katherine123x definitely a much lower drive for me too, though I still have one I think I’m just too exhausted by bed time. Mornings seem a better time for me in terms of desire as I have the energy.

@peonygirl that sounds like an awful day I’m really sorry. Bleeding is scary and being told not to get out and about can really knock your mental health.

You mentioned being single, do you have a good support network of family and friends close by? Could you potentially stay with any of them even just for a short while? I was a lone parent with my first and moved back in my parents and it helped immensely (financially and emotionally in terms of support).

@GEM429 having sleepless nights worrying, I don't think it's normal, could you talk to your midwife if your next appointment is soon? You can also self refer yourself to local mental health services, pregnant women have priority. Not feeling baby at 20 weeks is normal. Give it a bit of time. When is your next scan?

@HVHT no free NHS classes in my area either. My midwife said check the hospital website, the hospital website said check with your midwife! I did the nct classes with my first. It was very useful for the dad to learn some things because he hadn't done as much research as me, and I would recommend it for making friends. Mine was around£360, I was lucky I could afford it. Maternity leave can be very lonely if you don't have other adults to interact and share your worries. In my experience friends with older children are not as useful at this early stage. You can meet new mums in baby courses or sessions your local children centre is offering (you can check them in advance), but I am not very social so I didn't meet any new people this way. I still meet with my nct friends 5 years later.

@peonygirl I am sorry to hear you had such a bad day. Glad to hear baby is fine. Take it easy, it's worth it and in the long term 5/6 months of low activity is not that long. Do you get extra monitoring?

At the risk of sounding like an idiot, what do antenatal classes really entail & are they worth it? My friend did hypnobirthing classes and said it was the biggest waste of money 😂😅

I have my 16 week anomaly scan today 😅🥹 excited but also nervous 🩵

Good luck for your scan today @NSx! I'm wondering the same about antenatal classes here. They're £300 for the course which isn't bad I guess as that includes both of us, but is still a big expense.

Also, I bought a chicken pasta salad from the supermarket yesterday and didn't get a chance to eat it so it was unrefrigerated for three hours before I put it back in the fridge when I got home.

Is it safer to not eat it? I don't even massively want it, just hate wasting food!

@HVHT In my NHS Trust they offer a hypnobirthing course but you do have to pay for it. It’s £125 for 4 sessions and they give you a book and an online yoga routine. It also includes a “mindful breastfeeding” session. Doesn’t really cover what to do once the baby is here but in my experience the NCT classes weren’t great for that either!
I did an online hypnobirthing course (covid times so nothing in person) with my first and found the techniques really useful during labour but each to their own I guess.
The main benefit of doing these courses is to meet other people and forming a support network. That’s where we got most of our tips for surviving the newborn days - it’s the sort of stuff they can’t teach you on a course.

@monsteramunch depends how risk averse you are! Has it got a long shelf life?

@monsteramunch I'd eat it without hesitation!

@pangolin84 @blahblahblah1654

The use by date is tomorrow...

I would absolutely have it if I wasn't pregnant. Never sure if I'm being sensible and cautious or just anxious!

This is a really good point re making friends and building a support network.

I don't have any friends who have children under primary age or who are currently expecting so it would be really beneficial for me / us to make some.

That's convinced me to sign up to some locally. There are NCT ones and also ones from a company called Bump & Baby Club.

Any recommendations from non first timers welcome!

@monsteramunch If it's in date and only been left out for a few hours I'd definitely eat it. Entirely up to you though. I'm pretty relaxed with stuff like that though.

Anyone else been suffering with really vivid scary dreams?! I woke up in a hot sweat this morning after dreaming I had been held hostage in one of my old flats and my partner wasn’t answering his phone to come and rescue me 😆 Then another really weird dream when I fell back to sleep!! My brain felt quite fried when I woke up.

@monsteramunch thank you 🥰💕 …

I would probably eat the chicken pasta 😂😂 I take all that stuff with a pinch of salt and tbh it’s not like this country is roasting 😂😅 …

I’m going to ask my midwife on Friday regarding antenatal classes but tbh I won’t be paying hundreds of pounds for them, as like I mentioned my friend said it was a waste of time and didn’t help 😂

We did NCT with our first over lockdown and it wasn't great. We only had 2 other couples in the group who we didn't gel with. It mostly about the birth and labour which is only a tiny part tbh. Maybe if you want to make some friends it could be worth it, but I won't be bothering this time around.

We did get a 50% refund at least.

For all those debating antenatal classes, I would highly recommend! More so from a meeting mums perspective than the classes themselves. I was pregnant during covid and read A LOT of pregnancy/birth books so I felt like I knew most of the information anyway, although it was still nice to have someone face to face to talk through any issues or questions and have on hand via whatsapp. The main blessing to come out of it is that I met 6 other amazing mums, and nearly 3 years later we are all great friends, really close and the husbands are too. I know this doesn’t always happen, but one mum friend would’ve made it worth it as I felt like it could’ve been such a lonely time postpartum otherwise. (For reference I did private NCT).

@monsteramunch - NCT grew out of a natural birth movement. It is worth asking how YOU feel about that. The content didn't suit me (I'm a painkillers, bottle-feeding, men-have-a-role-to-play-in-care kind of person) but that doesn't mean that the content is right for everyone. I have heard that Bump and Baby are less natural childbirth focused, but I have not attended their classes.