Due May 2023 - Thread Three

[AlwaysTryingToHelp]

New thread as the other one was full!

I will try and tag everyone from the previous thread, sorry if I forget anyone 😊

Hi @Northby, sorry to hear about your previous losses and that you are feeling nervous in the run up to the birth. I lost my first baby at 13 weeks and gave birth to a healthy daughter 18 months ago, almost a year to the day of my miscarriage. I’m now 38 weeks. I found the loss hard but one positive I took away from it was that it gave me an insight into what labour would be like and in a way this helped me feel more prepared. When I was labouring at home I had my Mum and husband with me for support. It felt nice having them there doing normal things like watching a movie and having food. I did feel a lot of relief when I went into hospital and will be keen to get to that stage again this time. But I did feel that I wasn’t too aware of time passing at home because focusing on getting through the contractions made me lose sense of time. Hopefully you’ll be in hospital before you know it and feel that you’re in safe hands. I had an epidural and loved it!

Baby is 11 days old now, I cannot believe how fast time has flown. I have my partner at home for another 3 weeks and I really regret not doing sharer parental leave now that his return to work is looming.

I'm still really struggling with breastfeeding, he's only latched on a few times. I'm trying to pump but only managing 5 times per day of a pitiful output. The rest is formula. It's really getting me down. I know I'm supposed to do it at least 8.

Today I attended a virtual breastfeeding support clinic and was basically told off for sleeping at night because that's when prolactin levels are highest.

I had an emergency CS and my partner's been doing the night shifts because I've been finding the recovery quite difficult but I suppose I'm doing more harm than good (to baby/breastfeeding).

They're going to send a midwife round on Thursday to help me with nipple shields because I've apparently been misusing them.

I just feel like I can't do anything right.

@TheBeesKnee love and solidarity to you. That sounds like the support offered online was shit! Your baby will benefit greatly from a mum who is physically and mentally well, it is okay to prioritise that.

I am exclusively pumping , on day 6, and getting v v little. I cannot manage 8 per day at all, usually 5 or 6. I can essentially only get stuff from hand expressing and even the it's only a ml of colostrum a go. We are trying hard for our little ones. It's a hard job, but we are good enough for them 🩷

Thanks so much for sharing @Jaymar. It is really helpful hearing your story and I found it really encouraging that you had a good experience with the epidural!

@TheBeesKnee you're doing everything you can - at the end of the day your health and the fact baby is being fed are the most important things 💐 Sorry to hear your support hasn't been great so far, hope the midwife can help on Thursday.

If it's any consolation, I'm in almost exactly the same position as you - baby is 8 days old, struggling to breastfeed, trying to use nipple shields but think I'm not doing it right, pumping maybe 4 or 5 times a day max and the rest formula... I've got a midwife coming round tomorrow to help with some support. DH is going back to work on Monday and I'm not really sure how I'm going to manage nights atm!! Baby is a lot more awake and fussy between midnight - 4am 🙄

I had an attempted sweep on Monday and got told my cervix was soft but closed (they said it was dimpled?), the fetal station was -2 (not a clue what that means) but overall couldn’t be done. Feeling a bit disappointed as I really hoped something might have been happening by now (due tomorrow). Anyone in a similar boat?

@Awkwardusername same here. Had a failed sweep on Monday (due date). I was 2cm dilated but baby kept moving its head when she attempted the sweep so didn't work. Have a second one today so fingers crossed!

@Jammiedodger12 its so disheartening isn’t it! The midwife said she could feel baby’s head but I’m not knowledgeable enough about anatomy to know how she could feel it if my cervix was closed!
Fingers crossed for you today, hopefully it’ll get things moving!
Have you been asked about induction?

I had a sweep at 40+2 with my first and my waters broke 2 days later. So hopefully this one does the trick as I am 40+2 today.

if today fails I have an induction assessment on sat, with induction scheduled for Monday!

How about you? Hopefully another sweep in a few days will get things moving for you! :)

@Northby I'm sorry to hear of your previous losses that's so hard and understandable you're feeling anxious.
I'm a FTM and had my baby only a few days ago. However I was massively anxious about it all. I can't give advice, only say what helped me.
Firstly, I told my midwife my fears and worries, and asked she put some notes on my records for the hospital to see. Then at the hospital I asked each midwife who cared for me to read that note.
Secondly, I had an epidural so contraction pain was not an issue once my waters had gone and I went into established labour. The big shock for me was the pressure of baby descending down. There's nothing they can do about that because apparently it's on a different nerve circuit to the epidural (?) Anyways, the midwife said to me "that pain and pressure is what's going to get baby out and it won't stop until the baby is out" - that helped me shift my mind set from 'this pain must stop now or I'll die' to 'i need to accept and use this pain' - that truly helped me because then I was thinking "let's just do this, get this baby out".
Thirdly, related to above, the pain for me wasn't the worst bit it was the pressure. Imagine the worst hard shit you've ever had and then multiply by a million and you get the picture. I wish I'd known that before labour because then I could have visualised it in advance and thought about how to deal with it. I don't know why so few people mention that pressure and how bad it can feel.
Remember, you absolutely can do this - you will do it!
Wishing you the very best for the labour - will you let us know how it goes?

@TheBeesKnee I haven’t read all the replies to your post so others might have said this but I’d really recommend getting yourself to a breastfeeding support clinic if you can, not a virtual one. That one that told you off sounds no good - blaming a new mother is shocking and not going to achieve anything! You’re doing all you can and the fact that you’re still preserving is amazing. If it’s a latch issue could it be tongue-tie?

@Janch13 @TheBeesKnee my little one got diagnosed with tongue tie today despite the hospital checking for it and saying she didn't have it 🙄

Is it just lower back pain that means something? 38+2 bad upper back pain!

@Awkwardusername @RugbyGirl1 @Janch13

Thank you all, I'm back on the nipple shield today as baby was latching yesterday and refusing today. Swings and roundabouts.

I had my first health visitor appointment today and she was lovely. It's a little bit mind-blowing to me that breastfeeding is the best thing ever until you're having trouble with it, at which point it doesn't matter and you're just encouraged to use formula.

My CS scar has started weeping today as well and maternity won't see me as I'm past day 10 and GP has no appointments and I have to call tomorrow morning. So depending on whether I get an appointment I might have to cancel the infant feeding visit.

It's just all so bloody relentless I'm missing being 9 months pregnant when my biggest problems were waddling and having to do a blood glucose test 4 times a day.

@Jammiedodger12 fingers crossed!!

My midwife tried to discuss induction when I saw her the other day but I’m keen to avoid it if I can so I basically told her to ask me again in a week!

@RugbyGirl1 wow really? That’s bad. I’m glad you went with your gut and got a second opinion

Hi everyone, I’m due 30th May and this is my first. I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Can’t wait to see baby now! Does anyone have same due date as me?

Ive been getting some little twinges down there but nothing else yet…

@Hannah310523 im due 29th! ❤️

@Hannah310523 is this your first? I’m on baby #2… first was 2 weeks late 🫠

@Hannah310523 I'm due 31st! First baby was 2 weeks late, second baby was 2 days early so I can't call it. Officially on mat leave so I need to sort lots out, can't have baby coming just yet. But I have been getting lots of tightenings

@tigerlily0 ooooh how exciting I’ve convinced myself as first was late second will be too 😅

@Hannah310523 I’m due on the 30th too! This is my second baby and first was a week early so I’m hoping this one will be too. Feeling knackered and sore.

Yep this is my first, oh no really hoping it’s not two weeks late I’m so ready now 😂! But what will be will be xx

I am 40+3 and went for a sweep today. The midwife said I am 4-5cms dilated and thinks the baby will come tonight!! Major shock although I have felt crampy today and also lost the mucus plug over the last 2 days.

I went to 41 weeks with my first who is now at his grandparents for a sleepover in case tonight is the night!

Midwife also advised us to get in the car for the hospital as soon as contractions start, which is useful to know as I would have held out at home for as long as possible like I did with my first. But she said this one is likely to come QUICK and even started talking to my husband about how to deliver the baby at home/in the car 😱😱

Wish me luck! Hoping something happens tonight and it isn’t just excitement over nothing!

@Janch13 Wow, how exciting! That must have been a nice surprise to find out you were already that much dilated. Wishing you a smooth birth, hopefully not in the car 😄