ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

I got some bloods back today that I got done via my GP. My red blood count, haemoglobin estimate and mean corpuscular volume are ever so slightly elevated. The full blood count overall has been deemed satisfactory however I was thinking about how difficult it was to get blood from my fingers and am really worried that I am not on any blood thinners. @Gardenlady543 do you think it’s ok to start on 75mg aspirin every day or every other day? What time do day do you tend to take them?

@Spin101 yes you have an established pregnancy so it's absolutely fine to start aspirin, you want the 75mg dose, I get mine from sainsburys which are hard to get out from the packet! I add mine in with my vitamins and take around 10am as I have to take them 4 hours after my thyroid meds but you can take it at whatever time you want. I don't think there's any benefit of a certain time.

Thanks for the kind words. I just find the whole thing upsetting all I can think is they have promoted a less suitable man over me, a pregnant woman. I'm very aware my priorities will change when I hopefully have a child and I mean maybe this is my wake up call to stop prioritizing work because they certainly aren't prioritizing me!

Hi everyone…sorry to have been lurking again but here I am. I’m very glad to see everyone’s pregnancies developing so well and hope you are all feeling as well as possible. @Gardenlady543 I’m so sorry that you are having these issues at work, it’s so unfair and I really empathise, I have had various issues this year in addition to the miscarriages and know from hearing from various people that it has all adversely affected me which is really unfair when you think of everything we are dealing with as well as our jobs! I know you are incredibly conscientious and it is gutting when these things happen at work but like you say reprioritise your energy as they are not prioritising you. It is much easier said than done though.
So, my update…my HCG was low and not doubling on my last post and I began bleeding that night so I took the week off work to prepare to miscarry: however, I still haven’t. My HCG was probably scraping through and doubling over 72 hours (it was over 1500 at this stage), but still didn’t look too promising. I had a scan at what I thought was 6 weeks and there was a yolk sac, fetal pole but no heartbeat so I again waited to miscarry (although went back to work as I was going a bit insane on my own at home). A week later I had another scan at what should have been 7 weeks (based on my ovulation being 1 day past my CB ovulation peak smile). There was now a heartbeat but measuring 3 days behind at 6w4. A week later and it had grown with a strong HB but another day behind at 7w3. Then a scan 8 days later and it’s still growing, has limb development but has slipped another day-only grown 7m in 8 days and is now 8w3days - so five days behind my very original dates based on expected ovulation. Even my consultant is a bit bemused. I still am expecting the worst (so my time on here may well be very limited) but it’s very hard not to let hope creep in. I can try and convince myself about late implantation etc but that still doesn’t explain why it’s not growing 1m a day. I don’t have too much nausea, the pred may be stopping that but I am very tired with sore/swollen boobs. I only feel like eating beige food but thing that may be the anxiety rather than HCG. It has got further than my two previous miscarriages. I’ve had a bit of spotting but that may be cyclogest/Clexane/aspirin as there is no bleeding round the baby on scans. My next scan and NIPT test is on the 21st. I’m too scared to register with the midwife yet (I know I should but I can’t). I also stopped taking folic acid when I thought I was going to miscarry so now convinced I will have caused any neural tube defects it might have. Basically I am a mess! So sorry for the long post - I do feel a bit of a fraud here as know this is still likely not to work but also know that here you will all understand the hell that this limbo currently is (sorry this is such an uncheery post). Re reading it back I’m even less optimistic but all I can do is wait. Cheering you all on xx

Hi @Jellybelly56 you should definitely be here, we are all nervous here, I remember coming in here saying it's only little old me, not expecting for anything to happen, since all I'd had before was bad luck. You have really had some stress haven't you :( it does look like things are still going though and lots of people start off like this, I don't think measuring 5 days behind is that much to worry about, for some unknown reason I've been measuring 5 days ahead, the measurements for dates will just be the median, so there's just as many people ahead as behind. Also thankyou for saying such sweet words to me about my job situation even though you have been going through this stress. Yes pred will ease vomiting, I didn't vomit at all just burped and now I'm vomiting but I think it's stress and beige food is good, I start the day with toast and eat crisp sandwiches a lot. And I'm sure the folic acid wasn't a issue, people are advised to take it for 12 weeks before pregnancy to build up the stores, they wouldn't have depleted that quickly and loads of people don't even realize they're pregnant before they start taking it.

Thank you @Gardenlady543, yes clinging onto the fact that I was really good with my supplements during my IVF cycle directly before so I’m hoping I have some good reserves.
I really feel for you with your job, I once had a terrible manager who completely gaslighted me and it ruined my confidence; I ended up leaving that job but couldn’t walk past the old office without physically panicking and that was before any of this so I am amazed at you hanging in there. I didn’t realise the importance of a good, supportive manager until I had a brilliant one after that terrible one.
Not sure how I will last until the 21st! I remember one of your posts where you said you go to bed early as that’s less time worrying and that’s what I’ve been doing.
Do people find their sore boobs fluctuate? I’ve gone down the path of poking them all the time and last night panicked as they didn’t feel sore at all. This morning I’m worried they are sore from all the poking! My second miscarriage I just ‘knew’ when my boobs were completely normal one day so I’m paranoid history is repeating. The baby made it to 6 weeks in my first miscarriage, whereas I didn’t even get sore boobs this time until near 7 weeks. It’s all so confusing. Impressed with us all for even getting out of bed daily with this worry! Xx

@Jellybelly56 you've got my bedtime routine spot on! I'm still doing it. I aim to get into bed at 7pm and go with my iPad to watch TikTok, I take 50mg of over the counter nytol and when that kicks in I fall asleep. Sometimes I wake up early at like 4 or 5am but I feel I can find a lot of stuff to do in the morning that I don't really think of stuff. Evening time tends to be just tv and thinking.
Erg work is weird for me, I have an extremely supportive line manager that this higher up manager keeps taking away, he then sees me act like someone that can't keep themselves together because you know hormones etc, but this person is the only support I get at work.
Sore boobs definitely fluctuate, mine now have stretch marks all over them like coming out from the areolas which I haven't seen anyone report before, but there's not much I can do about it.

@Jellybelly56 I'm so sorry you're going through this stress. I have everything crossed for you. There is definitely hope especially as you aren't 100% sure of conception dates. I think the 1mm per day thing is more of a guide. Mine never grower quite that much.

My boobs were never a good indicator and yes sometimes sore and sometimes not at all. Symptoms come and go for most of us.

When is your next scan?

Thank you so much @Janefx40 . The next scan with my consultant is on the 21st, we will do the NIPT testing as well if we make it that far. I’m contemplating getting a scan this week as well at somewhere like the Birth Company but if it’s bad news not sure if I can handle that-at least my consultant can arrange the follow ups at the clinic. It seems a long time away!
The last time we had sex was June 19th, that was the day after my peak fertility first appeared on Clearblue so at a stretch maybe I ovulated later on the 19th and everything took a day or so to meet but it does feel a bit like I’m clutching at straws.
I need to stop prodding my boobs! Xxx

Ah yes @Gardenlady543 the evenings of tv and thinking are the worst! I end up in bed with trashy crime books to get me through.
That’s so frustrating that you have someone senior out to undermine you, I never cease to be amazed by just how unpleasant people can be at work especially when they actively take advantage of people struggling/going through difficult times. It sounds cheesy but someone once said to me that no matter how much you care about work you have to look after number one because no one else will do it and that really is so true. Don’t let him ruin this time for you xx

@Jellybelly56 I agree and I tell people all the time, "don't kill yourself for a job, they will replace you in a week if you drop dead no matter how important you think you are". This person very much takes advantage of me being vulnerable, as if I'm flawed for it :(

I go to ultrasound direct every week, you could look to see if there are any near you, I would go. Also sperm can live for a few days so you may have your dates out.

@Jellybelly56 I always swore by my clear blue digital ovulation kits and calibrated with easy@homes too. But during my last few cycles they weren't quite matching up with my blood results. And I also had a chemical pregnancy in March 2022 (my only ever natural conception) and we only had sex once which was 4 days AFTER my peak. So shouldn't have been possible. So basically they can be a bit out. You could have ovulated a couple of days later than you thought x

@Gardenlady543 it's really tough. I had a job once where the other staff just didn't like me or get me. It was a real shock as usually I rub along ok with people. It massively knocked my confidence and took a while to realise it was them/the dynamic not me. Once people don't think well of you, it's impossible to get back on an even keel I think. I was trying too hard/doing the wrong things because I was anxious and they were predisposed to judge me negatively.

I'm not saying it's the same situation at all. This person is a bully. But I do think there are some situations that you can't improve whatever you do - because ultimately it's down to them and they aren't open to it.

Anyway sorry it's all so stressful

@Gardenlady543 thank you for the guidance on aspirin. I just have to decide on the time of day. I hope you’ve had a nice weekend and managed to keep busy. Your priorities will change and I think the best thing to do like @Jellybelly56 says is to put yourself first because no one else will.

I ordered the female health check tests from medichecks and paid for first class delivery. It was supposed to arrive on Friday and still hasn’t. I’ve had to change the blood test now. I want to get my folate, vitamin d, iron levels tested and thought the estradiol will also be helpful.

I was out yesterday and didn’t feel any symptoms which worried me. I woke up in the middle of the night and struggled to get back to sleep thinking about the lack of symptoms. I got my second pregnancy progress test results back today which provided me with some reassurance. Progesterone was 95 but I think that could be because I withdrew blood from the fingers I use to insert Cyclogest 🤦‍♀️

My boobs oddly haven’t been sore. I read that people with PCOS don’t always have symptoms. My PCOS is low bmi related so I’m not sure if it applies to me.

@Gardenlady543 Is it ok to have regular scans? I want to go and get one at around 8-9 weeks before my nuchal scan

@Jellybelly56 The uncertainty must be so difficult, I’m sorry 😞 I really hope there is progression for you x

@Spin101 the blood result won't be affected by your finger! Annoying the others didn't arrive. You can do as many scans as you need. I did two in two days a couple of times due to when tests/nhs scans fell and CRP said it was fine. I wouldn't do them every day for fun but the point is that it does no harm!

Thanks @Janefx40 the hard thing is in this job it's just one person, and unfortunately they were put in charge not that long ago. Everyone else and the working conditions are great. Not sure about what to do I have counselling on Wednesday am and the union will talk to me in the afternoon, I need to see the person before but my plan is to just act like nothing has happened in front of them.

@Spin101 I go every week, the only issue the technicians (one technician) has brought up is frequent scans could cause anxiety but I feel a lot more eased knowing the baby has a heart beat and is growing ok. The biggest gap I had was between my first 6.5 week scan Dr Gorgy asked me to arrange and the 8 week scan my clinic did. My closest two were my 14 week nhs scan (they did it late) and I went for another scan 2 days later as she had pushed so hard, none of my private scans pushed hard.

That's annoying about the kit not arriving, I keep an eye on medichecks as quite often they reduce everything by 20%, if I really need something and it's not on sale I'll search for discounts I think the last I used was HONEY10 for 10% off. I often don't buy the extra postage and it arrives the next day other times I urgently need it and get the express delivery and have to wait.

@Janefx40 @Gardenlady543 thank you! Would you say it’s ok to get transvaginal scans too?

@Gardenlady543 medichecks arrived today and I changed my blood appointment to tomorrow. They had a discount on the test I purchased luckily. Thanks for letting me know about the other discount codes! You have a different experience to me. Mine always arrive 5 working days later annoyingly. How are you doing?

@Spin101 yes all of mine with abdo followed by transvaginal up until around 11 weeks.

Erg today hasn't been a great day, now I've found out the less suitable candidate didn't even apply, I was the sole applicant and they approached them to interview after I did all the pre interview requirements, as if to say they had already decided I couldn't do the role for no reason. It just gets worse and worse. I spoke to someone who I trust who was at the interview, they said they scored me and the other person the same and I said well why weren't all the things I do and my experience considered and they said it all went off the interview. The person I spoke to suggested they might have something else more suitable for me coming up, but it hasn't been created yet and it will be less senior than this position and I just feel like I've been treated so unfairly at this point I don't care. I do so much for this company I've just had enough of it, it's got me nowhere.

@Gardenlady543 Thank you for your reassurance as always. Sorry for not keeping up with the thread but not been feeling well and keep waking up for the loo, so feeling tired!

I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time with your job. I had a horrible teaching job at a college which I left 10 years ago. A colleague was bullying me for a while. I think it’s good if you can seek help but you need to be careful about stress. Perhaps you can look for another job in the future?

@Spin101 Thanks. It was scary. How are you getting on? My symptoms vary a lot. Sometimes I’m really sick in the afternoon and evening and ok in the morning. Sometimes I feel awful in the morning, ok in the afternoon and then bad again at night. When is your next scan?

I am worried about tsh as mine has been ok when I was on high vitamin D, but now only taking 10mcg a day (400iu). I have tried to ask for more but need to speak with my consultant. The last test I had done was perfect but I had been on lots of vitamin D.

@2021ivfagain tsh shouldn't be affected by vitamin D, but you can easily get a tsh test, so you take levothyroxine?

@Spin101 professor Shehata and my consultant say it's best to take aspirin before bed. I doubt there's a huge difference though. That's interesting about pcos and no symptoms - I have it and didn't really get symptoms in the first trimester. CRP also told me no issue to have scans close together (including transvaginal).

@Jellybelly56 my goodness that sounds stressful. Such a horrible wait. I purposely delayed contacting midwife to book in and it was fine - they just fit you in. This pregnancy (ovulation induction one) measured quite behind (I think it was 6 days but my memory is rubbish), so it does sometimes just happen, and it did catch up a little but not fully. Hope your baby continues to grown and has a nice spurt soon!

@2021ivfagain sorry I don't know much about tsh but I don't think vit d can have much to do with it, more hormones change it.

@Gardenlady543 sorry the work stress is still ongoing.

My gestational diabetes has gone a bit mad lately. I had a hypo after a hilly hot walk, but I didn't feel like I was overdoing it at the time, but when I got in I felt really out of it and was dripping sweat. Was a bit scary really. And also getting some really high random readings. So trying to adjust my insulin doses, but not quite getting it right yet.

Something to make you laugh... I have realised that instead of omperazole (for acid reflux) that for the past few days I've been swallowing canesflor probiotics in the morning . I've googled it and it won't have done any harm. They're in similar blister packaging and both in my wash bag as I'm on holiday. Oops!

@seven201 that did make me laugh! The canesflor are massive, I’m impressed you swallowed them! Hehe, the things we have to go through. That’s reassuring to hear your experience of measuring behind as well, thank you for sharing.

I did end up going for another scan today, you were right @Gardenlady543 it helps manage my anxiety. I was utterly convinced that would be it, @Janefx40 exactly like you phrased it, walking to my executioner. Even my sore boobs have totally gone. But someone it was still there, wriggling away and for the first time it hasn’t dropped a day in a week, it’s actually gained one and grew 8 days in one week so I am now 9w 4days. I know I am by no means out it the woods but trying to give myself a couple of hours of relative calm before the worry about the NIPT test next week starts up. Does anyone know at what stage measuring behind becomes less of a worry? Sorry I know that’s such a vague question. My dr thinks as I have now had roughly a weeks growth each week for the last 4 weeks we should just adjust my dates. If the NIPT tests come back ok I think I will book the midwife appt. X

@seven201 so funny!! hope your having a nice break

@Jellybelly56 v happy to hear your update today, it sounds like you’ve had a real time of it, but the baby is there and just taking their sweet time on things

@Gardenlady543 sorry to hear about your work update, it sounds so very unfair. Have you started feeling a bit better in yourself now a bit of time has gone by?

I have my anomaly scan at 20 weeks on Thursday, I am getting quite anxious but just trying to remind myself that we saw a real expert in the fetal medical department at 16.5 weeks and everything was absolutely fine then.

Also some good news, the past 2 days the baby has been giving me a fluttery feeling and kicking, so lovely to feel him in there.

@Jellybelly56 congrats on the positive scan. They make your official due date from the 12 week scan measurements so I'd guess before then is the big milestone for healthy growth.

@AM08 good luck for Thursday! So nice to feel those flutters

@seven201 When my mum had issues with her thyroid, I was told by a doctor in a hospital that vitamin D has a direct correlation with thyroid. Therefore, when I was taking 4000iu a day of vitamin D, my tsh went down to 0.8 at one point. When I reduced vitamin D to 1800iu a day, tsh went up to 1.7 to reflect a lower level of vitamin D. My mum was prescribed vitamin D as her thyroid was an issue. As soon as she increased her vitamin D, her thyroid condition improved. It’s worrying as now I’m only on 400iu vitamin D, so I might have a thyroid problem which I have been disguising with vitamin D to prepare for transfer. It’s strange that in America the recommended allowance of vitamin D for pregnancy is higher than in the U.K.