ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

@2021ivfagain oh interesting. I take 2000 vit D (told to by CRP) and levothyroxine. I had no idea vit D was related.

So I had the consultant appointment yesterday with the obstetrician and endocrinologist. They have said I don't need to be under endocrine anymore. My next consultant appointment will be at 28 weeks but I'll see my midwife before then.

@Spin101 at my appointment yesterday the obstetrician said is aspirin 150mg not 75mg, she said the guidance has changed, so there we go, I said even though I'm on Inhixa and she said yes, so I'm taking 2 x 75mg tablets now.

@seven201 really sorry to hear about the diabetes this must be adding an extra stress that you don't need! And the taking of vaginal meds, I'm sure it's just the outside and if anything it is likely designed to dissolve the outside easier, never mind at least you've had a good dose of probiotics.

@Jellybelly56 oh yay so glad you went and it was good, hey you may give me a run for money and try and compete with me for most scans in a pregnancy ever haha, you'll be at scans a lot though! I'm still going weekly, I'm there again Saturday and then nhs 20 week scan the following Friday. Like others have said all it means is at 12-14 week scan they will date you and that's your due date, then after that one they measure the head rather than crown rump.

@AM08 so my union are involved and think I've got a strong case, so I'm waiting on some info from the company and the union are supporting. Have had a barrage of messages from colleagues telling me they think it's disgusting.

@2021ivfagain what was your most recent vit d, think mine was 50 and so I increased up to 3000 units and it's now 90, which is optimal.

@Gardenlady543 @Janefx40 Thank you for the reassurance regarding scans. I’ve booked one for the end of this week.

@Gardenlady543 Are you happy with the decision that you don’t need to see the endocrinologist moving forwards? Thanks for the heads up regarding aspirin. I’ve got my midwife appointment in a week so will check what their general guidance is too.

@2021ivfagain I’ve been feeling ok apart from a bit of nausea when I get hungry. I was worried about the lack of symptoms so hoping the scan provides reassurance. Do you have a scan booked?

@seven201 Thank you for the guidance on aspirin. Nice to hear you had no symptoms in your first trimester. How has the second been? 🙈 I’m glad you realised it wasn’t omeprazole you were taking orally! Hope you’re having a lovely break.

@Jellybelly56 Really pleased the scan was positive!! That’s great news

@AM08 Hope your scan goes well tomorrow. Lovely to hear you have felt kicking :)

Hi All,

This is a bit off topic but I am really annoyed to find out OH has been discussing potential names with family members. I thought it was common sense not to do this??

So now I’m getting comments from a family member about not liking the name we have chosen which is a situation I very much wanted to avoid. I expected people not to be keen at first because there is strong alliteration with our surname (like John Johnson) and that is not popular here in the UK (yet is common in America where lots of people with a similar surname to ours have picked the same first name) but hoping that they would quickly come round once they got used to it.

I don’t really want to be drawn into these discussions at all as all I’m trying to do is focus on having a healthy baby & not get too ahead of myself. For me it’s too early to even be thinking too much about this stuff as I’m only just over halfway through and there is so much that could go wrong still.

I’ve been following the thread although I’ve not contributed for a while & keeping my fingers crossed for everyone’s scans

@InvisibleDreamer that would really annoy me too, DH told his elderly nan I'm pregnant and not to tell anyone and she told absolutely everyone she knows, which was really frustrating. With names I've seen a lot of people saying really after carrying the child and giving birth what the mother wants should be prioritised, DH doesn't see it that way and refuses to let me name the child after my mum who died when I was a teenager :( erg I can only imagine if I had family involved as well, the name me and DH agreed on that isn't my mums name, my brother said he hated, but I mean it's not his decision.

@Spin101 I mean I didn't really want to be under the endocrine doctor, I'm pretty sure I should be increasing my dosage up now but she said to stay on the dose I'm taking.

@InvisibleDreamer ah that is frustrating but ultimately it's not down to anyone but you what you call the baby. Names sound different to other people. If I think about it (which I don't really) I don't really like the names of most of my friends kids and I don't really like my niece's name either! I like the names on them because it's them but I would never choose it. So you just have to ignore everyone and go for what you want.

@Gardenlady543 frustrating about the Nan sharing - I hear of it happening a lot. Amazing how many people just can't keep things private. My mother was the other way around and kept apologising for having talked about baby stuff with her friends even tho I'd told her 100 times she was welcome to talk about it with them...that was kind of irritating too!!!

I know a lot of people subscribe to the "you carried the baby/gave birth so you get more say" philosophy but personally I don't really. The baby is half the father's too and being pregnant and giving birth is huge and wonderful but also only one (very important) moment in the whole lifetime of being a parent.

Having said that the baby is also half yours so it would have been nice to include your Mum's name. Can it be a middle name?

@InvisibleDreamer Congratulations. I must have missed a thread when you announced your pregnancy. The name situation can be complicated. When I was pregnant with my son, we kept it a secret as my husband chose the first name and it was the same name as my grandad who is no longer around. It was a difficult time due to my Dad’s stroke and worrying about how people would react.

@Gardenlady543 I think you should choose a name you both really want. It can be difficult.

@Spin101 Sorry for the delay but some days my nausea has as been really bad it can kept me awake at night and made me tired during the day. Some days nausea is bad, other days it is ok. My scan is tomorrow. I’ll be 8w 1d. When is your next scan? Do you have a lot of food aversions? I have gone off cheese, wholemeal bread, dark chocolate and tap water. I have to eat crisp sandwiches with white bread or white toast and drink orange squash!

@InvisibleDreamer That’s really frustrating, I’m sorry. You don’t need family members telling you they don’t like the name. Like you say the important thing is to focus on you and your pregnancy and not all the noise around you.

@Gardenlady543 that’s good then! Do you need a second opinion on the dosage?

@2021ivfagain ah sorry your nausea has kept you up at times. My scan is tomorrow too 7+6 (there’s 2 days between us). I used to eat peanut butter from the bottle but the thought and smell of peanut or almond butter puts me off! I used to eat minimal dairy and now I eat yoghurt twice a day and eggs at least once a day. I eat fruit every day but can’t really stand citrus as much.

@AM08 I hope your scan went well!

@Spin101 Good luck with your scan today. Mine is this afternoon. It’s strange but I have days when nausea is not that bad at all and then I worry, but then the next day it’s really bad. Do you get that? You sound healthier than I am at present. I used to be really healthy. Now I live on toast or crisp sandwiches. I eat porridge and fruit for breakfast. I’m also avoiding caffeine completely and dark chocolate, but drinking bottled water or squash!

@Gardenlady543 oh no that is awful with your Nan telling everyone! OH has apologised re: spilling the beans on possible names, he hadn’t realised it was a bad idea so we are both not saying anything to anyone now.

Good luck to everyone having scans 🤞

@InvisibleDreamer Aghh! So annoying about the names. I can't ever imagine giving a negative opinion if someone said a name - standard response is 'oh yes that's nice' whatever the name is surely! I know what you mean about feeling it's too early. We ordered a buggy/stroller set yesterday as it was on offer and I feel a bit weird about it despite being in the third trimester now.

@Gardenlady543 my dd has my deceased mums name as a middle name and I absolutely love that she has it as part of her name. My dd talks about why her middle name is special too. Is it that your DH doesn't like the name itself or doesn't feel a child should have a first name of your mum? Tell your brother to keep his opinions to himself! Cheeky Nan! I think keep an eye on your thyroid levels yourself - you're so on it!

I have zero clue on names. Well I have two I like but DH doesn't like them. As I'm a teacher at a girls school I've been put off many names over the years .

How have the latest scans gone for people?

I have developed swollen feet and cankles! Even my crocs are a bit tight! I'm not worried about pre-eclampsia (I did have that with dd and am keeping an eye on symptoms). I also can only walk slowly and with a waddle. No idea how I'll be in another couple of months! I feel ridiculous being like this already

20 week scan went well, no issues and baby is kicking up a storm daily already - feeling a bit more relaxed and I have a few holidays booked in September and can’t wait 💕 hope everyone else’s scans went well

@seven201 sorry to hear about swollen feet and ankles, is there anything you can do to help it? I’ve been worrying about feet and legs growing/ getting so swollen so didn’t invest in some boots that I really liked a few weeks back just in case

@AM08 congratulations on the scan and feeling all those movements. It's a really big milestone. September holidays sound lovely!

My feet and ankles aren't so bad in the morning, but by bed time they're huge. You're meant to walk around, not stand and also raise your legs and do some little ankle exercises. I think I'm going to have to buy some new wide fit shoes! You might not have this problem though and you can always wear the boots after pregnancy.

@AM08 so pleased it went well. It's a lovely scan to see all that detail.

@seven201 my ankles also got massive. I wore Birkenstocks for about 3 months!!! It took about 2-3 weeks for them to come back to normal after I gave birth.

@seven201 thanks!! I guess with teaching your going to be on your feet a lot of the day too, the new shoes sound like a sensible thing to do - have you been elevating your legs in the evenings too?

@Janefx40 it definitely has made things feel more real - how is little Leo doing? Any updates on his sleep?

@seven201 that's funny that you've been put off certain names! I guess you know what names there will be multiple children with in the same class! How far are you along now?

@AM08 excellent news about the scan, I have my 20 week scan on Friday.

Work is just getting worse, it's a completely unnecessary additional stress and my line manager is trying to just keep me calm and it's impossible with this horrible person there :( I feel like I may be feeling movements but it's just a light vibration sense.

Extra message so we are not stuck at that number!

@Gardenlady543 loving the extra message. Exciting to feel movement! How many weeks are you now?

@AM08 Leo is 3 months now and super cute. He sleeps pretty much all night now with a couple of sleepy feeds in the middle...,but only in my arms. So I have given up and we Co-sleep which is something I thought I would never do. But there isn't really any choice if he won't sleep in his cot as I was falling asleep with him anyway.

Pros are that we both sleep and he is happy and secure. Cons are that I'm not that comfy and worry about risk to him. But hopefully it's not forever!

@AM08 so so pleased your scan went well! That is a major milestone and hopefully you can really enjoy some lovely time off in September now too.

@Gardenlady543 will be thinking of you on Friday in your scan. Hang in there with work-this is an unnecessary stress like you say and honestly I know it’s a cliche but it is not worth it. Your health and your baby are the most important things. Your line manager sounds like a really good guy I am very glad you have him.

I agree with @seven201 , I just say I like every name and keep my thoughts to myself! I can totally get your frustration @InvisibleDreamer i would be furious/upset if I had family members and friends commenting on potential names. Glad your OH gets why you were upset now.

Nans can be dangerous…never tell them anything! My dad is also dangerous as is obsessed by ‘find my friends’ and checking where me and my sister are (he lives alone some way away from us). For my first pregnancy when I told him he was like ‘I know, I’ve been tracking you in the hospital’. I can see he just misses us but I can’t face the stress and expectation of him knowing I’ve been traipsing up and down the fertility clinics of Harley Street for the past year so I ended up turning it off with some excuse it drains my battery.

I had another scan yesterday (@Gardenlady543 i really am giving you a run for your money). All went well, it is on track for my revised dates-so four days behind my ovulation date but on track with growth for the last four weeks, if that makes sense. So maybe I did have a mystery ovulation/implantation. I had also had the NIPT blood taken and I’m terrified. Because I’m 36 and had the two miscarriages one of which was a confirmed trisonomy (we didn’t test the other) I’m convinced I will be high risk and I think that will finally break me. I don’t know if that’s a rational thought or if I’ve had so much bad news this year (very, very sadly I lost my best friend and her twin sister in February and April, either side of my March miscarriage) that my mind doesn’t process a positive outcome anymore-I can’t even accept it’s an outcome. The risk of downs in general at 36 seems very high. The results will be back next Tuesday/Wednesday and time is going so slowly. This is the worst part of the wait yet.

Not to end on a gloomy note, I am liking the idea of crisp sandwiches and am also getting slight nausea in the evenings, only cured by Haribo and Percy Pigs! I have to eat some as soon as I’ve finished my dinner which is usually some form of potato. Oddly though I really don’t fancy chocolate, very odd for me.

Sending lots of love and wishing the best for upcoming scans xx

Lol @Jellybelly56 I was so into vegan pick and mix, I just couldn't stop eating sweets in early pregnancy but you know the baby obviously wanted sugar! My faves are the Wendy and Walter the worm from aldi and I was getting the pick and mix from Wilkos (really hope they are saved). I think you just need to accept the dates were off and as long as there is clear progress that's all fine, I think babies decide what they're doing early on and sticks with it, it might be faster or slower than expected at the beginning but it then seems to stay static. I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. I think the chances of trisomy with a pregnancy are much lower than the risk when testing embryos. I think you've been very unlucky before. I'm hoping for a good NIPT result, will you find out the sex then too?

@Janefx40 I'm 19+5 based on my last scan so it's pretty much Bon Jovi week (half way there). So good that he's sleeping well!!!

The work stress today has been so unnecessary, basically the mean person told someone I'm in trouble and they are going to be speaking to my line manager (this isn't any form of threat as my line manager really doesn't care but I mean it would be a mark against my name) but I hadn't actually done anything wrong and I got really upset and then they seemed to have just dropped it and started sending me nice messages thanking me for all I'm doing. I spent the whole afternoon crying because they just caused me so much stress up until that point, it's so cruel.

@Gardenlady543 I’m sorry to hear work has continued to be stressful, would you consider leaving? I know everyone’s situation is different but it doesn’t sound great whilst your pregnant and this should be a time of real joy after all you’ve been through - great news on the scan and potential movements though

@Janefx40 that is such a wonderful update, so glad he’s getting into a good routine with sleeping and your both getting more rest - hopefully you can wean him off the co sleeping soon!

@Jellybelly56 i’m so pleased your scan went well too and that the dates are looking back on track! Waiting for NIPT test results is super stressful but once they’re done then you can start to get much more excited about the pregnancy.

@Jellybelly56 my cravings were v similar to yours, I’m normally more of a chocolate person but baby really likes sweets, carbs and diluted juice haha

@AM08 its funny isn’t it! The thought of chocolate turns my stomach at the moment even though I haven’t had bad nausea really. I am also loving juice (and milkshakes).

@Gardenlady543 good luck for your scan today. I hope it goes well especially after the week you have had. What have your union said? Do you have any way of making an official complaint about him via your line manager? I’m appalled he’s able to get away with it - him then acting all nice makes it even worse. Argh it makes me so angry when you have so much else to deal with. I hope your scan gives you something to smile about going into the Bank Holiday.

@Janefx40 3 months! That has gone quickly and I’m glad to hear he is sleeping well. I know you’ll be treasuring all the cuddles-I always said I’d never co-sleep but if this one arrives successfully I don’t think I’ll ever let go of it. Hope you are coming out of the exhaustion haze too (and thank you for sticking around to encourage us all!)

I received my NIPT results last night and it’s all low risk, thank god, i had really wound myself up into a state about it. I was so worried that I would be in that state for the long weekend I actually booked a scan at the Birth Company yesterday afternoon too (I know i am having too many, I need to work out how to manage the anxiety). The sonographer was amazing - the good news is all looks good and it has actually caught up on dates again so I am 11+4 which now matches my original dates. Straight away she said ‘I think you are definitely further on than that’ when I said my last measurement. So I am still very anxious but I guess I have to view us as now having the same chance of a successful pregnancy as anyone else in this position? If anyone has any tips for managing the anxiety I would love to hear them. I do feel like my head is still going to explode!

Does anyone have any nice Bank Holiday plans? We are staying at home but hoping to drive out to the countryside and do some nice walks (with cake etc) xx

Thanks @Jellybelly56 the NHS being the NHS when I called to check my scan time yesterday they told me they'd moved it to two weeks away! They did have an extra appointment late this afternoon so I'm booked in for that. I just got my immune bloods back and have high NK cells but can't speak to Dr Gorgy until next week, this is the first time they've been tested in the pregnancy so they may well have been high the whole time. I'm wondering if he will advise IVIg as I've been having intralipids every 3 weeks and that hasn't brought them down. It's expensive but given I'm at 20 weeks I can afford a few if it's needed.

Thanks about the work support as well guys. The mean manager I would have to do a formal grievance, I am sure he would be protected though. At the moment my union want to focus on him bringing protected characteristics into my interview as that is less subjective I guess. There won't be a update for a while as the first stage is to get the feedback from the interview and they won't do that for a couple of weeks. I think from now on given the stage I'm at in pregnancy if he does another thing to upset me I need to look at going off.

@Jellybelly56 That's great news about both the NIPT and the measurements on the scan!

So today has been really stressful, Dr Gorgy was shown my blood results and told me I'm right to be worried and to come in for IvIg so I'm doing that on Tuesday, he said I need the uterine artery scanning for the plan moving forward, but they wouldn't do it at my scan today, so I'm hoping he will do it on Tuesday.

I had my 20 week scan they said everything is in range, although some things have measured low eg femur is 21 centile. Did anyone else get this on scans, the technician said they only worry when it's 5 centile and below.