ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

Hi @seven201 thanks for the tag. I'm another ERA thread graduate. Currently 33+5 with a baby boy x

Lovely to have you here @Janefx40. Not long for you now!

Hi @seven201 , thank you for setting up and tagging me to this group 🙂. I'm a bit nervous to join as I'm only 6+1 but I would welcome the company ahead of my first scan on Wed (and hopefully beyond!).

A little about my journey so far:
We've been ttc our first child for 6.5 years and have had 3 miscarriages along the way.
Initially "unexplained" infertility but subsequently identified high levels of dna fragmentation in DH's sperm. Also vaginal microbiome issues. More recently, I've been diagnosed with NK cell / immune issues.
3 cycles of IUI - 1 BFN and 2 BFP - MCs.
2 fresh cycles of IVF/ICSI - 1 BFN and 1 BFP - MC.
1 FET - BFP, currently 6+1.
I'm currently on estrogen, prednisolone, Lubion, Cyclogest and Inhixa, as well as intralipids.

I'm very worried about my scan on Wed because it's my first pregnancy scan I've had since the one we had at 11 weeks when we were told we'd lost the baby (having seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks). We were both completely traumatised and, although it was around 22 months ago, we can still see/hear ourselves back in that room, with everything crashing down and our lifeless baby on the screen. I went for natural management but then haemmoraged and ended up being taken to hospital by ambulance and kept in. Its going to be very difficult to try to disassociate the past from the present when it comes to this scan.

I've been having lots of reassuring pregnancy symptoms but there have been a couple of times when they've suddenly disappeared (last Monday and then over the weekend just there) and it freaks me out. Extremely tired, hungry, thirsty and nauseous today, so everything seems well again (although less twinges etc in the womb, which is disconcerting). Just hope my body isn't playing tricks on me!

How are you feeling now @seven201 ? How's the bleeding?

Congratulations @Janefx40 on your pregnancy! How have you found it? I hope you are keeping well. Exciting you're nearly there and will get to meet your boy soon 💙. Do you mind me asking about the background to your pregnancy and what helped you?

Hi @InvisibleDreamer , I thought I would tag you to this group in case it is helpful to you. I know you've just recently got your BFP, so there is no pressure, it's just in case it would be helpful. Also, although it's the ERA/Alice/Emma grad thread, the original thread has evolved into more complex cases including NK cell / immune issues and a few of us (including me and @seven201 ) are on pred. So you would be most welcome. No pressure though. Hope you're keeping well x

Hello @Faithhopelove83. So nice to hear from you. I know what you mean about being nervous about joining a pregnancy threat 'too sppn'. Hopefully we can support one another. And yes if invisibledreamer wishes to join, they'd be most welcome. I'm under the CRP clinic for various immune issues. Maybe I should ask for the thread title to be changed...

From what I understand @Faithhopelove83 symptoms coming and going is very common, so please don't worry about that (easy to say, not do!). I find myself getting obsessed with my resting heart rate, which is silly as it doesn't mean anything and mine is now pretty low, but has been for a while.

You need to remember that this is a different pregnancy and also you're on different meds. I was only on one extra med this time and so far things seem to be ok. I had the brown spotting for a few days then nothing the next day, then more the next day, but nothing today. There's always something to worry about isn't there? At least Wednesday is not far off now. I've never gone into a scan feeling positive, it's just impossible to escape the memories from bad scans. Dr Edge last time even had to say to us "this is good news!" as we just weren't taking it in.

Are you able to keep yourself distracted? Are you working tomorrow?

Thank you @seven201 . Yes, hopefully we can support each other 🙂.
Thank you for the reassurance re symptoms coming and going.
I used to obsess over RHR as it was like clockwork going up and down with the different stages of my cycles - could pinpoint ovulation, implantation dips, when AF was due, and it was the earliest indication of pregnancy (before hpt's would work). But it ended up causing me so much anxiety with my last IVF cycle, I was careful to take my FitBit off this time. I've heard there can be a normal drop in RHR from around 6 weeks so maybe that's what's happened to you.
I love your attitude and that's a really helpful way of looking at things, thank you. Different pregnancy, different drugs. The pred and intralipids could make all the difference. I will try to focus on that. Look forwards not back.
I guess I'm just so conscious of my age (turning 40 soon), time is running out, I've been desperate for our first DC for so long now, and I'm exhausted from it all, so I really need this to be it. The pressure is immense.
I am so glad your brown spotting has tailed-off. When is your next stage/scan? And do you have to take the pred until 12 weeks before weaning off? (That's what I've been told to do, and it's a 2 week weaning period, so up to 14 weeks).
Yes, I'm managing to stay reasonably distracted. Its been good having the Easter weekend. Work would have been a stress. I had a couch day today as I felt so tired and ill. Got an extra day off tomorrow and meeting a friend. Then the scan on Wed and, all being well, back to work.

@Faithhopelove83 thanks for the add. Might be a bit premature but going to try and enjoy this time around as much as I can. I’m expecting the nausea to start any day now.
@Janefx40 I recognise your name from Other threads glad you got your BFP and all is going well so far.

@Faithhopelove83 I love my Fitbit (for motivating to get steps in) but I wish I could turn off rhr! I have mostly gotten over obsessing over it now though. I'll be 41 when the baby is here if all goes well. Not what I planned, but it is what it is. I'm very grey and normally dye my dark brown hair every 4 weeks so the roots are driving me insane! Apparently fine to dye hair after the first trimester. I'm not ready to embrace the white!

Yes, I should start weaning off pred from 12 weeks (from 12 week nuchal scan dates, not from LMP as that puts me as further along than I am). I've got my next scan (just a quick one to confirm all still fine before intralipids) on fri 21st, then the full long nuchal scan with Prof A on the 27th April. Got my midwife booking in appt on weds this week. That somehow seems like I'm a fraud and shouldn't be going - I was reluctant to book that one! I feel weird about potentially telling work. I think I'd like to wait until after 16 week scan. I've told my technician as I'm not lifting things or going near chemicals (I teach a practical subject) but I just don't want to announce it and then Un-announce - as I've done that before! My absence request forms say 'recurrent miscarriage clinic appt' so they've probably guessed anyway!

I'm glad you've had distractions but a sofa day is also sometimes needed. Have a lovely day with your friend tomorrow.

Welcome @InvisibleDreamer

How are you doing @Janefx40 ?

@seven201 sorry for taking ages to reply!

@Faithhopelove83 congratulations. Totally get feeling nervous about joining a graduates group but this is really just a support for whatever comes next.

@InvisibleDreamer thank you! I also decided to try and enjoy it this time as I was in no hurry to find out it had failed. But then it didn't so that's been nice.

I'm doing ok. Definitely feeling pretty sore and achey now. Can't wait for mat leave to start but then I'm doubting I'll be able to do all the things I meant to (gardening etc) as I'm not very mobile! I've definitely found this pregnancy harder than with my DD. Still nervous that something will go wrong but keeping everything crossed. So close now !

@Janefx40 when does your mat leave start? Maybe you'll suddenly go into nesting mode and have loads of energy for the garden! If you end up just sat on the sofa with cups of tea that's fine too! We're having an extension built from June-December and moving out of the ground floor and living in just the bedrooms upstairs (with temporary kitchen in a bedroom) so if all goes to plan we'll have a newborn in a building site . Our DD is very excited but I'm sure the novelty will wear off pretty quickly! Also can't afford an extension and a baby at the same time .

@Faithhopelove83 good luck at the scan today

Thank you @seven201 ❤Sorry I've not managed to reply to your previous message yet. On our way to the appointment now 😬

@Faithhopelove83 good luck!!!

@seven201 my last day of work is tomorrow but my first day alone (is without childcare) is Monday. Am so excited!!

Thank you @Janefx40 🙂. And thank you for the previous congratulations too xx So exciting that you finish up for mat leave tomorrow!

My goodness! I'm so excited for you. You won't know what to do with yourself!

Thanks again @seven201 and @Janefx40 🙂
I am relieved to say that the scan went well! There was an agonising bit when he could see the pregnancy sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole. But after some more searching, there was baby clear as day with a beautiful heartbeat! 💓Measuring spot on 6+3. I'll have another scan at 8+2 when I go in for my next intralipids. How am I supposed to wait nearly 2 weeks?!
I've also got my midwife booking in appointment scheduled for 9+5. Trying to get more meds sorted and also enquiring with GP whether they can prescribe any of it.

@seven201 Yes I'm missing my FitBit. You can get rid of the RHR tile in the app, but I would just end up looking at my watch. So it's banished 😞.
Aw that makes me feel so much better that we'll both be over 40 come our due dates! That must be so annoying not being able to dye your hair. I'm fortunate to be fairer. Due some highlights at 11 weeks - hopefully that will be safe enough?
My work already know as they've been quite involved with things for a wee while now, given 2 long term absences. I totally understand (and would prefer) not wanting to tell work for a bit.
Thank you, I had a lovely afternoon with my friend yesterday.
Goodness, you've got a crazy few months ahead of you - exciting though!
I should really get on and do a couple of hours work, but I'm so tired and don't think I'll be able to focus. My head is all over the place!
How did your midwife booking in appointment go today?

@Faithhopelove83 that's great news. I'm so pleased for you. Those scans are tough emotionally I know but great to see what you needed to see.

@seven201 hope your booking in went well. I hadn't clicked that was happening.

If it makes you both feel better I was 41 when I had my DD and am now 46 but I can't pretend that doesn't scare the bejeezus out of me! May have to invest in fillers and cosmetic surgery so I don't look like the Grandma at the school gates 😂

Thank you so much @Janefx40 🙂.
Wow, that's amazing and so encouraging that you were 41 before and now 46! I've been feeling really worn out / old and worried about starting pregnancy and child-raising from a weak place (as well as the whole age risk that they go on about). Well I'm in great company with you and @seven201 ! Must be very scary for you but you've come so far and clearly you're made of strong stuff, so you're going to do just great. How does your DD feel about getting a baby brother?

@Faithhopelove83 what a wonderful update! So glad all is looking well in there. Another two weeks feels like forever! Good luck with trying to get the GP to do some of your meds. I've been lucky as I have most of mine on repeat now. I think you'll be fine for highlights at 11 weeks, maybe just ask them to be careful not to touch your scalp (harder to do when doing my white roots). I'm not surprised you can't concentrate on work. Such great news!!

My booking in appointment was fine, just very long - 1 hr 35 mainly going over my medical history. She thinks it makes sense for me to have a c-section. I was kind of expecting to be given the V-bac talk. My dd was breech, I had pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, swollen kidneys/constant UTIs so had a planned c-section last time. Obviously deciding on that is a long way off! I've just had my 12 week scan appt through and it's the day after my CRP 12 week nuchal one there with Prof Akolekar, so I'm trying to push the NHS one to what they count as week 14, so I can spread out the scans a bit!

Woken up this morning to really heavy hot sweats, can’t help thinking this is a really bad sign & that my estrogen levels are trying to drop.

@InvisibleDreamer I had a stomach bug when I was about 5 weeks and was up all night sweating with a high temp. Have you taken your temp? If it's on the high side I'd take some paracetamol. It could be completely unrelated as there are a lot of bugs going round at the mo. It's so hard not to worry.

Thank you @seven201 🙂.
GP says NHS won't fund my meds. I feel so let down! It's bad enough that they've practically abandoned me all these years. I'll need to get in touch with the RMC centre and see what they say. They didn't help me beyond level 1 tests (which were all fine). I'll update them re NK cells / immune issues and see what they say.
My anxiety went through the roof last night - I think because seeing baby gives a visual of how much there is to lose. But I'm managing to reign it in today. It helps that I feel so tired, dizzy and nauseous, very reassuring.
I'm glad your appointment went well. Goodness, I have so much to learn re pregnancy and childbirth - I had to look up V-bac! 😳It sounds like that's a good thing that they're suggesting planned c-section? Is that what you would prefer? I know it's a long way off. Sounds like you had a really tough first pregnancy. I hope this one is better for you. Good idea re spacing out the scans!

@InvisibleDreamer I'm sorry you've had a night sweat. I get them just before my period and so find them terrifying if I get them during treatment or pregnancy, as they seem a bad sign. But they are also a pregnancy symptom and I've had a few nights of them this time, and all is well, so I hope that reassures you. When is your first scan?

@Faithhopelove83 went to take a pregnancy test to reassure self but now I’ve got significant red spotting & test is much fainter, can’t believe it’s going to be another loss. I really had hope this time.

@InvisibleDreamer sorry about the blood. How many weeks are you (I know it's early)? Are you in an area where you can call epu direct or do you have to go through your GP? So sorry. You're not out yet, you wee could be dilute and the bleeding could just be random (I had 3 bleeds with my dd).