ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

@thislittlebird so if the combined test is high risk, the NHS will do NIPT? if the combined test is low risk, you will do NIPT? Concepto charge £249 by the way, it's the cheapest place I found when I was looking, they had several options with different prices when I did mine but they just do one package now I think. Did you say you've used a PGT A embryo? If so I would say you are safe to tell your family it's really unlikely that there will be aneuploidy with a euploid embryo.

@thislittlebird the wait for NIPT (or in your case, combined test) is the absolute worst. I went totally nuts both times - . Hope you get your results soon.

@CB2805 welcome. I never had a haematoma bur they are super common and aren't necessarily a cause for concern. When is your next scan?

@Janefx40 I just had an early scan again. I had a proper scare last day fresh bleeding accompanied with cramps. I honestly thought I mc😭 anyway babies seem alright and growing dr said we’re couple of days away of a heartbeat🤭 bleeding stopped but still spotting some brown when whipping sorry tmi

I honestly won’t relax until we hear heartbeats next week!

@CB2805 how stressful! I'm glad the scan was ok and hope you have a good scan next week 🤞🤞🤞🤞

@Gardenlady543 thank you I really hope so🤞🩵

@thislittlebird there's a relevant event on tonight at 7pm:

Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT) following IVF or IVF+PGT-A, beneficial or not?

myivfanswers.clickmeeting.com/non-invasive-prenatal-testing-nipt-following-ivf-or-ivf-pgt-a-beneficial-or-not-/register

I've been to these events before they are really good, a short presentation and then lots of time for questions.

@Gardenlady543 thanks, I’ll check it out! It’s all so confusing and hard to know what to do for the best. Still waiting, which I assume is good news.

Well, in the no news is good news sense

@Gardenlady543 i totally agree about not getting comfy at night - it’s such a pain but i guess will be getting us ready for newborn days!

This might be a silly question but I’ve been buying clothes for 0-3 months rather than newborn, as I figure the newborn stage will be over within a flash but then I’ve been worrying what if baby arrives early and has nothing to wear as it’s all too big. What do people do in this situation? 😂

@AM08 I have the same worry but that clothes will be too small, a few months ago I found a bundle of baby girls clothes, it was literally all the clothing I'd imagine I'd need, it's for 0-6 months but most look like 0-3 months (highly recommend googling baby bundle on eBay, I paid £50 and got so much stuff and it's all really nice). Anyway we had my scan last week and baby is measuring in the 90th centile for everything except thigh bone (50th) so my husband keeps saying we aren't having a supermodel. I know these things aren't always right but I'm a bit worried I'm going to have a baby that doesn't fit into any of the clothes I have! Did you say you are going to have an induction? Have you got a date booked in, my c section is 5th Jan, 40 uncomfortable sleeps to go and counting to go!

How's everyone else doing?

@AM08 @Gardenlady543 most newborns are pretty small even those at the upper end of the scale so you should be fine with 0-3 months. Mine were both born at 75th centile and 0-3 were much too big. We had a few newborn things too - both were too big for the "tiny baby" size and bizarrely the things we were given that I loved most were all that size so too small!

@Gardenlady543 ah your bundle sounds great - will definately check it out! I do think those scans have quite a large margin of error, on one scan they said everything measured 50th percentile for us but babies size overall was 22nd percentile and then next time we went back, he was back in the middle for everything. I have decided to have a c section, speaking to the consultant tomorrow before they book it and give me a date, hoping for the few days between Xmas and new year but they might be too busy so let’s see.

@Janefx40 thanks for the advice, it seems quite hard to get it right. Sorry this might be my baby brain, but in your message, was it that the 0-3 months things were too big so getting some newborn stuff would be good?

@AM08 can I ask how the process or requesting a c section went for you? How far along are you now? Wondering when you get to make these decisions. I’ve been told to speak to the midwife in a couple of weeks when I’m 16 weeks and ask to speak to the birth choices team, or something like that.

The bundles are a good idea! I’m annoyed I feel it’s too early to buy anything in the sales, could do with some discounts. I did manage to get a Mamalicious winter coat from Zalando reduced to £36 which I thought was pretty good.

Thanks @Janefx40 that's good to know I will have some usable clothes :) how are you doing?

@thislittlebird I bought the clothing bundle when I was 17 weeks and people were saying it's too early, but I mean most people announce after their 12 week scan and if you see something that reasonably priced I think get it. I just checked and my clothing bundle was only £42 including delivery and they are all really high quality cute clothes. I think people often get excited and go out and buy expensive stuff and then the babies grow so quickly, there's so many good second hand deals that you can find. My friend was so nervous she didn't start buying stuff until the last month before her due date and then the baby came 2 weeks early. It has taken so long to get everything I think I need so I would say don't leave it too late and like you say with the Black Friday deals there's lots to be found.

How are you feeling about a c section? Is it something you're considering, it sounds like everyone on this group has had/ will have one! I was always quite swayed towards one as I saw some pretty bad births. Because my surgery last year resulted in my uterine cavity being opened the risk of rupture is there and I have been advised by all that I have to have one. I think there are pros and cons, I know the recovery will be brutal as it's the same operation that I had last year essentially, but it's also very controlled. It's nice to know I'm going in on this date and the baby will come out within minutes and everyone that needs to be there will be in the room ready to provide treatment if needed. I posted a video about "gentle c sections" not that long ago here which are worth looking into. You should be able to request a c section without judgement, a surgeon can refuse to do one on you but they must refer you to to someone who would be willing if they do that, I don't think many obstetricians would refuse to be honest.

Me and DH went to the BHF furniture store and managed to get a brand new looking set of solid oak drawers and bedside tables at the weekend. They've just been delivered. So this is my baby clothes storage and nappy table sorted :) there is so much stuff everyone right now, I feel so disorganised!

@thislittlebird requesting a c section is fine but they have to make you aware of the risks so don't be put off by that. When they asked me I just said that I didn't relish the idea of a c section because the recovery is so tough but on balance, given my age and previous failure to go into Labour it seemed the most sensible choice. They could tell I had thought it through and wasn't just requesting because I thought it was easier so they were fine with it. You have a right to the choice.

@AM08 oh the 0-3 months clothes were big but fine for them to wear. But yes a few newborn things are useful too.

Would any of you like this. It's a newborn snow suit. My daughter only wore it once I think and it's the wrong size for my son.

I was about to give it away on a local FB site but would happily send to one of you instead x

Excuse my old slippers in the pic!!!!

@thislittlebird i think it’s fairly straight forward, I’m just under 35 weeks but it was me being indecisive and not letting them know which has meant it’s all a bit last minute - have you had a look into your hospitals policy on it?

@Janefx40 that’s gorgeous and such a shame it hasn’t been worn more - I would have said yes but I have bought a couple snowsuits/pramsuits

@AM08 I struggled to find any policy online tbh. But I will ask my midwife when I see them in a couple of weeks.

@Janefx40 yeah, there’s just the fear they’ll be difficult and all the midwife chat is about how/where you want to give birth but they never mention the other option!

@Gardenlady543 yeah I am seriously considering it because my age and experience to date. Funnily enough my midwife sil told me that I should consider it too, which really surprised me because I didn’t expect her to recommend a c section to me. I was pleasantly surprised, I won’t lie! I thought she’d be all about selling the ‘natural’ option so was nice she didn’t do that.

@thislittlebird there was a girl on my NCT course and the midwife advised her to have a c section (for essentially no reason). In my region the number of c sections has gone up a lot in the last few years, I'm in an area with maternity issues, the midwife said to me yesterday that they aren't risking anything, any concern in a birth and they have a low threshold to do a c section to the extent that a lot are being done under a general anesthetic, as they won't waste any time, they are just getting the mum in theatre and getting the baby straight out.

The guidance about patients being able to request a c section has been in place for so long, if you want one, you'll be able to have one.

I used to think with a vaginal birth it can take a long time, be really painful but then recovery is quicker, and then a c section is the other way round, but the midwife was saying the amount of tears they see mean vaginal births can end up having a longer and more difficult recovery.

The main reason I had always wanted a c section was because I saw births go wrong and the number of children (and adults) with life long disabilities due to issues like cerebral palsy :( I also had a conversation with a surgeon about how a large amount of his work is faecal incontinence due to vaginal births, he said he would be advising every woman close to him to have a c section.

Sorry hope I'm not pushing everyone in to c sections, this is just how I feel and with my operation last year, I have no choice anyway.

@Janefx40 that's really cute ❤️ I've managed to acquire a few already so I think I'm set, otherwise I would have snapped it up!

My c section is now 5 weeks tomorrow, counting down the number of sleeps! 3 weeks left at work. Hope Xmas is a distraction that makes the time go fast too.

@AM08 are you getting any milk? I'm as dry as a bone, the midwife reassured me it will be fine, I have this fear I am someone who just can't make milk.

@Gardenlady543 tbh I’m ok if they want to do it under general. I’m not romantic about this stuff, it’s just an unfortunate process to go through and I do think I’ll be very stressed about surgery while I’m awake. But I’ll still choose the more controlled option over the unknown and chaotic option. Although I am aware I could deliver early as I’m quite short, my husband’s sister delivered early too (also short) and she’s the aforementioned midwife who recommended the ECS to me. Some go to term, obviously, but they know shorter women tend to carry for less time. I will assume the baby just runs out of space sooner.

If I was younger and more confident maybe i would try VB but I’m not and although I’ll have a back up plan, my first option will probably be ECS.

@Gardenlady543 I didn't have any colostrum until maybe 37 weeks and then it was hard work getting it going. It takes a fair bit of massaging to get it out and it's sore. I was also advised not to try too early with an ECS as it can bring labour forwards. They said o could start 5 days before c section date. You tend to need a syringe as it is drops.

I'm sure you will make milk but it may take work with an ECS. I have had to work hard at it both times but have EBF both children (aside from 6-8 weeks of occasional formula at the beginning!

I haven't read all the updates so apologies if I've missed anything big. I had a very positive c-section experience both times. My only complication was needing to go home with a catheter, which I admit I did hate, but I think that's unusual for that to happen. My scar healed really well. I kept on top of the pain meds, especially the oramorph!

Colostrum wise I was told to start collecting from 36 weeks. I didn't get much at all and it was a lot of effort, but anything helps. My milk came in fine after both c-sections.

@seven201 how are you getting on?

New thread:

ERA EMMA ALICE infertility graduates/pregnancies thread 2

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4955543-era-emma-alice-infertility-graduatespregnancies-thread-2