Hi All
im posting here because Iām not brave enough and probably a bit too emotional fragile to withstand the wrath of AIBU right now š. That said I would like to get some outside perspective on whether I am behind unreasonable.
My parents have a second holiday home in Spain and have suggested we could use it this summer after having our second baby. Weāre really lucky that my partner has 16 weeks paternity leave and so with baby being due 19 May weāll be off together until 12 September. The only thing is the dates we want to go (4-11) my sister has already asked for and is unwilling to swap with us.
The reason we are being so specific about dates is that we would really like to wait until baby had had at least their 8 and 12 week vaccinations (due mid July and mid August). Perhaps Iām being OTT on that point but Iād feel safer going abroad and on a plane with all that circulated air at least knowing they had that protection. We also are aware that with strikes the waiting time for getting a passport this summer is 10 weeks (and you first have to get a birth certificate which takes circa 2 weeks). So itāll probably take until August to get one. So that leaves us with September and my partner doesnāt want to ask for another weeks annual leave just after taking 16 weeks because his job were quite funny about him taking the full 16 weeks (even though itās one of the company perks).
So weāre stuck really with only being able to use 4-11 Sept which is when my sister has already asked to use it. So weāve asked if she could swap and go a week later 12-19 but she doesnāt want to because her boyfriend has booked the leave off. Itās warm throughout September and no flight have been booked.
Now I understand we would be asking him to inconvinience himself by asking to swap his annual leave dates. But it feels like a fairly minor inconvenience and I also see it being a huge problem. He works in a large public sector team, heād be asking to make the swap (by one week) 5 months in advance and its outside of peak holiday season.
By contrast if we canāt go weāll prob book somewhere else with our 2 year old and our then 3 month old. Itāll obviously be more costly. Also as a family of four with two very young children it would be much less stressful to go to my parents as they have lots of baby equipment there already, weāre familiar with it and thereās on site shop there with formula and nappies. My parents are also there until 3 Sept so if my sister swaps weeks with us weāll actually probably go a few days early to have some time with them and it would be so reassuring to know theyād be waiting at the airport to welcome us after we do our first flight with a newborn and two year old.
My sister and her partner by contrast are early 20s no children, both still live at home and spend most of them free time (understandably going out having fun). My partner and I on the other hand have had a really stressful year where both of us have been ill (he mental health and myself with a chronic illness which has flared up over pregnancy and weāve been juggling full time stressful jobs alongside our very very active two year old.
Any other year it wonāt matter when we go itās just this year when weāre having a baby thatās made our dates so restricted. I canāt get past that it feels so mean for my sister to refuse to budge. And parents attitude is not our fight keep us out of it.
So can I ask am I being unreasonable?