Due October 2023 - thread 4

[Soda123x]

Hi all another new thread as the last one filled up fast again.
8wks3 here according to early scan. This may change at the 12 weeks scan xx

I'm 10 weeks tomorrow and nausea is still kicking my a$$. Anyone else? Currently stuck on the sofa trying to not be nauseous so I can take my son to the childminder.

No bump at all yet. I was really bloated first pregnancy but I don't seem to even be bloated this time

@HappyK1817 a few of us on this thread have had spotting/bleeding and things have still turned out fine. Fingers crossed the EPU get in touch soon though and you can get some reassurance that all is well.

@JoanneV and @BeaKind thank you both. I totally agree that people shouldn’t ask, I told my work colleague yes as I felt rather put on the spot and I’m planning to tell everyone when I get back from the Easter hols anyway, but I do think it was rude. She made me laugh as she then said ‘well you don’t want to be rude asking when people have put weight on around the middle incase they’re not’ and i thought, but you have just been rude and asked 😂.

@PrimarilyParented I feel you on family stuff.
We chose not to tell the in laws because MIL has a massive gob (I put it nicely 2 weeks ago but since then she's annoyed me)
On Mother's Day FIL mentioned me being pregnant consistently, kept saying "as it's Mother's Day do you have news" and after our 12w scan we will tell them, and I'm going to tell him straight l.
Both MIL and FIL make numerous comments about us having a baby and I'm going to point out that it was distressing to receive the comments, and also would be even worse if we were trying for a baby and were not successful.
Just because they have 6 kids doesn't mean everyone wants 6 kids and is as fertile as them!

Rant over, but yeah, family, can't choose them!

@HappyK1817 yeah I've had spotting twice. Lasted for a day or so. But was bright red, how long have you been spotting for?

And welcome 🤗

@HappyK1817 I woke up Thursday to some bleeding, bright red that has turned into brown/dark red spotting for the last few days. Very light and only when I wipe(sorry for the tmi) I rang EPU on Thursday but could not get an appointment until tomorrow morning. Like you I was super worried but the more I read, the more common it seems. I will let you know how I get on tomo and hopefully will be able to offer some reassurance x

@Alexandra07 Yes you are right, stressing out isn’t going to help matters and I think I just need to have a little bit of faith that no news is good news.

@EMcG3 I’m in Hong Kong. We’re lucky really because we have access to the private system here due to my husbands job but because the private system won’t deal with any emergency situations during pregnancy or birth we’ve had to register with the public system too which is where I’ve been struggling a bit. I actually think the quality of care is probably very good, but things like patient communications and bedside manner are just very different to what we are used to. A lot of the recommendations around pregnancy are also steeped in Chinese Medicine, which although I don’t knock (actually had acupuncture for the first time the month I got my BFP) is again culturally quite a lot to get your head around. For example according to TCM pregnant women aren’t supposed to eat mangoes because they contain ‘heat’ and pregnant women shouldn’t get overheated. I like your point about healthy babies being born in all places though, there’s plenty of happy healthy babies here so that’s a good thing to keep in mind when I’m feeling a bit anxious about it all. Glad to hear you are having a good experience with UCLH so far, I’ve only dealt with them for none pregnancy related things but was always happy with the care there.

@HappyK1817 welcome, I haven’t had any spotting myself but for the past 2/3 weeks my apps have listed it as a possible symptom so I think it must be relatively common. Hope you get some reassurance soon!

Hey,

I've made thread 5, we're getting close to the end of this one!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4777067-october-into-the-second-trimester

@Saturnsmoon thanks for your long response, that is very interesting. Yeah, the basis being TCM would be weird. Sometimes in the UK I cannot tell what I am being told because it is not direct enough, so I understand the struggle around bedside manner being different, though I imagine it is to a higher degree in HK. We came out of an appointment in my last pregnancy and were unclear on whether our baby had a fatal genetic problem or not. It did, and subsequently died. The care we got around it from the NHS was good and the outcome was unaffected but the experience was weird because they told us in an indirect, British kind of way that we could not parse. Also, NCT is very weird for a foreigner. I only found out it has a very particular viewpoint after going through it, then having a baby, then being like 'what the f*ck was that' and I asked my one British parent friend who told me it is focused on natural childbirth. I appreciate that many people are into their flavor of natural childbirth, but I am profoundly not and would have written it off if I had known. Also, the midwives gave us wrong information all the time both through my successful and unsuccessful pregnancy. Important things, too, like which tests were available to identify the issue in my unsuccessful pregnancy, and the name of a medicine that did the opposite of what I needed, and when I found what I was looking for it was prescribed to me without the GP asking basic questions that would have left them to identify that I would have been at significantly elevated risk of heart failure if I had taken it. Maybe people here know to verify information? Maybe I was just unlucky? My (Aussie) boss is now also pregnant and is having similar experience with midwife information. I guess what I want to say is, the British system also is a bit of a struggle to foreigners (and maybe locals, I don't know). But in the end, the child and maternal mortality rates are low, now I know to verify the information I am given and press hard with questions. As you say, the quality of care is probably pretty good. I would say the same of the NHS, with an outsider's view of it.

@BeaKind no I haven’t had a scan yet so I guess that’s contributing to the nerves! Also getting the nuchal transparency scan. Mine is at 3.40 😩😩😩

@EMcG3 yes can totally see how navigating a different health care system would likely highlight cultural differences regardless of where you are. I’m also under no illusions that the NHS is perfect and I’m sure I’d have my own frustrations with that too. Honestly part of it is probably me and not having had a successful pregnancy before so just being a bit clueless. Interesting about the NCT classes I had no idea they are so focused on natural births. They are quite pro elective c sections here. Not sure whether NCT is even a thing here. I’m learning a lot through this whole process and think maybe the biggest one is how important being a self advocate is when going through pregnancy. I’m really sorry to hear about your experience during your last pregnancy, the lack of clear communication must have made an extremely upsetting situation even harder. Hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy this time around 💕

Yes I have one! Much earlier than last time. Most of my clothes are pretty fitted so there's no hiding it now but I am ok with that because I'm 13 weeks now.

@OrionNebula yeah everything is getting tight now but i have been eating everything in sight to stop the nausea so its probably abit of both haha.

has anyone bought a pregnancy pillow which you would recommend? I’ve keep getting terrible back ache during the night and hoping a pillow might help x

@LR94 last pregnacy I used two extra normal pillows I already had, one between my legs, another one under my belly as sleeping on the side. I saw someone saying Tesco had on offer the very big long pregnancy pillows.

I have the BBHugMe pregnancy pillow and it’s so cosy!

@Alexandra07 @Mamabear345 thanks both! I’ll have a look now xx

Hi everyone, I’ve been reading post for a while but never posted on a forum before.
I’m 11 +2 and still awaiting scan, 1st baby.
I just wondered if anyone else is having back pain?
it only seems to be after I’ve had a busy day, been at work ect, my job is active but I wouldn’t say particularly strenuous. It’s my lower back and it gets so painful and stiff. Don’t normally suffer with back pain and didn’t think it would be in first trimester!

Hiya @HVHT not sure if you have seen but there’s a link above to a new thread as this one has filled up! :)

@HVHT I suffered this with my first and I am again now. Like you not constantly but after a busy day it's particularly tight.

I think it can be common!?

Is anyone super super thirsty? I can’t stop drinking and eating ice lollies….it’s so bad 🤣

Also for all the nausea sufferer’s I had it really really bad from week 7-11 I’m 12+4 and it’s definitely subsided the last week. So hang on in there!

Is anyone else huge/bloated already. I'm 11 + 3 but already look the size of a house! I guess most of it's bloating. I can't wait until I have had my scan next week so I don't need to hide it anymore. It's my second so maybe that's why I'm showing more.

@blebbleb that's definitely me! Second pregnancy too. I am 10+5 and look already bigger than one of my colleagues who is almost 20 weeks! I haven't gained any weight. I must be very bloated and muscles must have relaxed a lot!

There is a new thread by the way, the link is above.

@Alexandra07 Thank you for the new link! Same here, no weight gain just huge bloat!

@blebbleb this is my second too, and totally know what you mean! I for sure feel bigger at this stage than last time especially my boobs!!

@Smiffette same here. Hate how massive my boobs have become!

I’ve not logged in for ages 😫 is there a link to the latest thread please?